Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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I miss my baby.


Hello. I'm 16 years old. and i had a miscarriage about a week ago.

When i first found out i was pregnant I was so scared..I cried my eyes out. I am only 16 how can i be a mother..but my fears soon turned to happiness in a matter of mins. I grew an instant bond and love for my baby the second i saw my pregnancy test. I took 5 tests every single one said i was pregnant. So me and my boyfriends families were very supportive and we were ready to be parents in nine months..

When i was 5 weeks i was in walmart and started to get these horrible cramps and ran to the bathroom and i saw some blood..I was so scared I knew something was wrong with my baby...So i quickly called my family and my boyfriend and told them i was heading to the hospital..
i was already hysterical. When i got there the nurse told me it was going to be at least a hour wait!! My boyfriend yelled and said "Does it look like my girlfriend can wait..we think were losing our child you get us in there as soon as possible"
So after that i was checked in about 30 mins later.
The doctors and nurses were so slow and cold about everything. I was in the hospital for about five hours and I had know idea if my baby was okay..I was praying to God my baby was..I got an ultra sound and they made it seemed like it was ok..I got blood test and they didn't tell me anything that came back..

But after i was there for almost 6 hours..The doctor came in..and my heart was pounding..I could have lost my child..my life...I was in so much fear. But with the coldest most non caring voice the doctor said "Your not pregnant anymore..you lost your child" That was it he walked out. I was bawling my eyes out for hours. I got no sleep..It's so hard knowing my baby would have had it's first heart beat a few days ago if i would have not have lost it.
Yeah I may have only been 5 weeks but it was still my baby.
my child..my hopes and dreams..That i lost.
Its so hard to comprehend all of this..but i know someday i will have another and no it will never replace my first and i'll always remember my first child..
but time heals everything..

Good luck to anyone who has had a miscarriage. you are not alone.

Krista






2nd Miscarriages

Hi everyone. My name is Deanna and I am 25.

I found out that I was pregnant for the first time in July 2007. I made it to 12 weeks. When I went in to hear the heart beat they could not find it. So the nurse told me that she couldn't find the heart beat and the Dr. would be right in an she finds it immediately. So the Dr. came in an she couldn't find it either so we proceded down to the sono room, needless to say again there was no heart beat.

My baby had measured at 8 weeks. It had been dead since right after my 8 week apointment. I was devastated and had to have a dnc. I followed instructions and waited the 3 months not to get Pregnant again. I found out on Jan. 20th that I was pregnant again, and by the 25th I was told I was in the process of a miscarriage. I had no clue, other than I had the Dr.s check my blood levels.

These experiences have really taken a toll on me mentally. I try to stay positive but sometimes it's too much. In the beginning of Feb. I had the blood test done to see if my blood clots more than it's supposed to. The results were in 3 weeks later. All the tests came back negative, except for one thing. The thing that produces folic acid in the body, everyone has 2 copies and one of mine is normal and the other is abnormal.

She suggested that I take a baby asprin once a day. She does not believe that has caused the 2 miscarriages, but to take them to be on the safe side. I am scheduled to take the HSG exam here in a few days to see if I have any clots or etc in my uterus. I am so nervous......... that this exam will be negative also.

I cannot look my husband in the face again and tell him that I have lost another one of our babies. I continually try to stay positive, but it is very difficult. I get so tired of hearing "Honey, it's just not your time yet" or stay positive. These people have children and I don't have any.

Deanna






three miscarriages with six babies

In oct of 2006 i was in school and doing all the stuff a high school kid does. not even relizing i was pregnant. me and my boyfriend were together for a couple of years on and off.

i started to feel really sick and bloated all day it was a couple weeks after i started feeling all this i told my boyfriend i might be pregnant. He went out and bought me a pregnancy test that night and i took it. I knew what it was going to say and of couse it was postive.

At first i was really scared i didnt know what i was going to do how i was going to take care of a little baby and my boyfriend was leaving soon for the navy. I went to my first prenatal vist and they confirmed what we already knew, and i started to get really happy about it i've always dreamed of having kids maybe not so young but i was still happy that i was going to bring a little angel into this place.

I started to bleed so I went back to the doctor and she gave me and ultrsound and found out i was pregnant with twins. About now i was 6 weeks along. she said she wanted me to come back in, in 2 weeks for another ultrasound to see if the blood clots aroung my uteris were getting smaller. She said they usually go away, well i came back and the bleeding was getting worse. I knew deep down that something was wrong.

they gave me the ultra sound and told me one of the babies had no heartbeat i was devastated. i know i still had one but i felt like it was my fault that his brother or sister was dead. she said my other twin should be fine and not to worry. she made another appoinment for the 12 week of my pregnancy and when i came back she tried to find the heartbeat but couldn't.

she took another ultra sound but to my despair the other twin was dead too. I was so heart broken. my mom was just starting to get used to the idea and me and my boyfriend decided that we were going to get married before he left for the navy. I lost one of my twins at 7 weeks and the other at 8 the doctor told me.

the babies stay in there untill 2 days after my 12 week appoinment They came out two days before christmas. My doctor told me she wasn't supposed to run test until your 3rd miscarriage but she did anyways they all came out normal. So she said wait three month grieve and have a normal period and try again.

Me and my boyfriend went on to get married and tried again before he left for bootcamp. in march of 2007 we found out i was pregnant again. My husband left 2 weeks after we found out. one week after we left i started to bleed really bad and started pass tissue i went to my doctor and she said i had a miscarriage. I was again very sad. My husband was gone and i felt like i had no one to be there for me.

i started to do alot of things i shouldn't of like drink and smoke cig like pack a day and wrestle around really ruff and i am a small girl. when i doctor told me i misscarriage i was about 3 weeks maybe more maybe less. Eight weeks later i was still bleeding so i went back to the doctor and she did another ultrasound to try and find out why. They soo told me I was still pregnant with twins. i freaked how could my doctor not know this how could she not did an ultrasound before to make sure i wasnt still pregnant.

They told me I was 10 week and both my babies had stronge heartbeats. She said the bleeding was from blood clots around the uteris. she said to come back in 2 weeks. I drove to my husbands graduation with my family my doctor gave me permission to go. I started to cramp and bleed more then i was i was sure i was going to lose the babies there and my husband didnt even know i was still pregnant. well i got up there and told him he was so happy.

I left and went back home he still had to stay for a couple of weeks or so. I got home and not even a week later i was in the hospital with more bleeding and contractions. I was 14 weeks they said there was nothing they could do i was so scared I prayed all night but god already had his plans. the next morning I woke up to go to the bathroom. my water broke and I felt something hanging out it was one of the babies body parts.

I told the nurse and she told me to go lay down and not to push. To wait for my doctor to get there. My doctor didn't show up for like 2 hours. By then I had to push like 20 mins after they told me not to. It hurt so bad and my body was pushing them out. I delivered them at 14 weeks they say it was still a miscarriage because they weren't over twenty weeks, but I dont believe that they were my babies.

The nurse keep my babies laying there on my bed for an hour not doing anything cause they were waiting for my doctor. I was horrified. I ll always remember that and it hurts so bad. The navy let my husband come home and we had a funeral for them. They were both boys and I named them Gabriel Joseph and Issaha James they died on Jun 21 2007 and part of me died that day to. Always remember in my heart that I do have babies maybe not with me but in heaven. God is watching over my little ones.

Then my husband got done with all his bootcamp and training we moved to where his was stationed in aug. 2007. In oct we found out i was pregnant again. I went in for and ultrasound at 4 weeks cause I am now considered high risk my doctor didn't see anything in my sac. she keep looking for 3 more week but nothing. I had to take pils to get rid of the sac.

I have a really good doctor and she trying to find out why this is happening and running tons of test on me. I hope someday I will have a baby I want to give my husband and myself that gift so. God hear my prayer and please give me the gift of a small little angel please God.

Every one out there thats been though what i been though I am praying for you so please pray for me too I know what you are going through and it hurts but friends and family and others like you will help you get through it and someday your dreams may come true.

bless you all

ashley






saying goodbye to an angel

I had a miscarriage on the 22nd of Feb.,2008-just 3 days ago. The pain that I felt and still continue to feel coming from my heart cannot be compared to anything else I've had to endure before.

It wasn't a planned pregnancy and my relationship with the father was turbulent and stressfull. Though he never ran away from his responsibility with me, he already has 3 young kids and though he was kind enough not to say it, he wasn't really too keen on having more.

I have a conservative catholic family and me being unmarried decided not to tell them until I have come to an agreement with my boyfriend about our future together. We were both financially capable of taking care of this child but we have our differences and I didn't want us to be together just because I was pregnant. Still I would cry every night I'm alone, worried and unsure if I would be able to raise a baby by myself if I have to but knew I would if I had to.

I found out I was pregnant on the 7th week. I thought I missed my regular as ever period because I was sick with colds and fever.I was having abdominal cramps like I usually do with my bad PMS.I was worried because of the motrins and nyquils I had taken but my OB-GYN said the vaginal ultrasound confirmed it was healthy inside the uterus.

I has a light bleeding a week after so they did a pelvic ultrasound and re-checked my HcG levels but it went up instead and the fetal heartbeat was okay. She just saw something doubtful that might be a clot of blood that didn't come out so she sent me for my official sonograms at the radiology dept. Finally she called to inform me I was carrying twins and the other one was a blighted ovum. It didn't develop like the other twin so my body might have been eliminating it hence the expected bleeding again after another week, which continued for 7-8 days. I was re-assured it is okay as long as I don't bleed out to 1 maxi pad an hour and no intense cramping with tissue passing.

It eventually worsened Friday at 5 a.m and I was crying on the phone telling my boyfriend I was feeling contractions. I went to the bathroom because I thought I peed on my panties. Blood was just all over and at 11 weeks I held my daughter on the palm of my hands. She was still just a fetus but didn't make her less of a human being that God has created with her tiny,little legs and arms and dark eyes. I was amazed at how fragile she looked with her transparent skin and how I was able to form and nurture this wonderful baby inside of me. I knew this was the viable twin but on my way to the hospital I was praying it was non-viable one.

I was sobbing the moment my OB confirmed it through the ultrasound that my uterus is now empty. I was in shock and couldn't comprehend what my boyfriend was saying the whole time!

The torturous physical pain I went through those 12 weeks I can endure but the terrible loss emotionally and having to let go of that brief memory of holding her lifeless body is the most difficult thing to do.

Maybe it's too soon to get over this grief but I cry every day. My doctor said there was nothing I could have done to prevent the miscarriage but I can't help but look back, was it the meds I took before I found out I was pregnant? Perhaps I should have been more careful with my body. All the questions I could think of- maybe I was stressing her? She might have thought she wasn't wanted?

This was my first pregnancy and they were supposed to be twins. Then there was only one and I would have been just as happy. She would have been my first born...

My precious child I had picked a name for you the night before you had to go away. I have named you Alessandra Mikaela. I am your mother and I wished I could have protected you better. I am sorry my womb hasn't been the best nurturing environment for you. But I love you very much and I will miss talking to you everyday and cradling you in my stomach and gently touching you with my hands to comfort you when I feel pain. For I know you might not be comfortable.

God has taken you to be my Angel in heaven. I will always pray to God that He'll look after you and someday mommy will be with you.
I can't wait to give you my hugs and kisses....

ashley






Miscarriage

My first miscarriage happened last July. I had a blighted ovum and only found out when we had our first scan at 8 weeks. We had it early as we were going on holiday to the Carribbean for 2 weeks and wanted to make sure that everything was OK before we went. I never thought in a million years that it wouldn't be. I'd had no bleeding or pains and I'd never heard you could miss a miscarriage.

So we went to the hospital full of naive excitement and anticipation and that was all crushed in a split second when the scanographer said there was no baby. Looking back I should have known. There was no morning sickness and my breasts were less sore than they had been at the start. I felt like we had been cruelly tricked. The process of arranging the ERPC was drawn out over another 10 days due to various tests and guidelines. We missed our holiday, it was a hard time. But I was always realistic about it and optimistic that we'd get pregnant again soon.

I was loaded with stories from nurses, friends and colleagues about all the people they knew who had miscarried and then got pregnant again straight away and now have children etc and I believed them. So when I didn't get pregnant again straight away I got depressed. I knew I could get pregnant so why wasn't it happening? I became obsessed with my menstrual cycle and what I ate and when we had sex. I have a very stressful job and I got stressed and upset about the fact that stress can affect your fertility and I went into a downward spiral. I was so anxious all the time.

Then I realised I had to do something to help myself. I've reduced my hours at work and have regular reflexology and feel so much better. In December I realised I needed to give myself a break and I had a boozy xmas and new year and ate everything bad for me. And I fell pregnant! I was so surprised. We were very happy and I was relieved that I could get pregnant again. We were cautious though and I was apprehensive about how I would get through the next few weeks.

The first week I felt on top of the moon, in the second week I started to become anxious, cold and sad. Then it happened, I miscarried at 6 weeks. I was so shocked, again I really didn't think it would happen. That was 4 weeks ago. I have recovered physically much quicker than last time and I thought emotionally too. But now I fear I'm getting depressed again. It's like it's always a delayed reaction.

We were at a dinner party last night and my friend announced her 20 week pregnancy and then my other friend was saying how she fell pregnant accidentally but how great parenthood was. It was just too much for me and I had to go to the bathroom and sob my heart out. I had a jolly good cry later with my husband who is so supportive. I thought that may make me feel better but today I feel just as bad. My husband is worried that I am getting obsesed again and so am I. I just can't help it though.

Why can't my babies grow like everyone else's? None of my friends or family have had any problems with their pregnancies, its so unfair. I think I have PCOS because I have very clear symptoms. My doctor dismissed me when I mentioned it to him and just harped on about statistics and what has happened to me is nothing out of the ordinary. That just doesn't make me feel any better.

Until we have another miscarriage no-one will help us. We have been trying for over a year now. I just want to have a baby, I just want it to grow inside me.

Angie







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