Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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Dealing with my Loss


I have heard stories from friends and family members regarding miscarriages but never knew I would encounter this situation first hand. I found out a month ago that I was having a boy and since I already have two daughters, my husband and I were so excited. With our excitement came lots of plans for our son. I went in on 10/19 for a regular check up and my doctor informed me that she could not find the baby's heartbeat.

My heart dropped and I felt like I was having a bad dream. I felt like I was in a nightmare. I'm devastated, disappointed and my heart is broken. I try to console myself by focusing on my two daughters, ages 3&4. I do think about all of the things that I should have or could have done. It has been a little over a week now and I just want to know how and what I can do to help me move on. It is very hard and at times I think it was the worst experience in my life. I'm coping and everyday I feel a little better.

Ayanna






Loss

I am 23 years old and found out that I was pregnant with my second child, my first being 15 months. I was excited and pulled out all of my maternity clothes from my first pregnancy and hung them up. My mother bought my son a shirt that said "I am going to be a big brother." I did have thoughts about how hard it will be with two children and the stress of trying to work full time. I wanted this child but I wondered if we had been more careful and waited if it would have been better. I guess it is hard for me to do but I will be honest.

When I was 18 long before I met my husband I was in a terrible relationship with a man that was very abusive. He forced himself on me and I ended up pregnant, pregnant and in a terrible place. I decided neither one of up had business being a parent. I wanted no child of mine in this man's life. I had a abortion (the hardest decision I have ever made.) I then left this man and met my husband, married and had a beautiful baby boy.

I found my self feeling like this was God's way of getting me back, like I deserved this in a way for terminating my first pregnancy. I guess I still feel that way to a certain extent. I began to find things that I did wrong like drank too much pop or had a bad diet but I know that there is nothing I could have done to deserve this pain. It has been over a month since I lost my baby at 6 weeks of pregnancy and I still cry. I wonder how could it hurt this much to loose something you never had.

It was the worse to pack up those maternity outfits and tell each person I had shared my good news with (which seemed like everyone) that there would not be another baby right now. Now everyone is asking me when we will be trying again but I am not sure if now is the right time. I feel like this just happened. Even if we started trying again would I tell everyone, probably not until after the first trimester.



Jennifer






So much sadness

I was surprised when I went to the doctor for some routine tests and they told me I was pregnant. I was in disbelief because I had had my period so I had a suspicion that I had lost the baby and thought it was a normal period. I had never missed my period so I wasn't very far along. I kept taking pregnancy tests everyday just to see if my levels would drop before my first doctor's appointment.

My boyfriend is in the army and he was away at training and I didn't want to tell him about the pregnancy over the phone. We were not trying and were using condoms all the time, but I must've gotten pregnant from the precum/ foreplay before putting one on. I tried in the past and never got pregnant so I didn't think I really could. Well, then my mom calls me and tells me her brother/ my uncle passed away.

I told her I was pregnant. Then I took another test for that day and it was negative. Then took one more and it was negative. I knew what had happened then. I had a miscarriage and the tests at the doctor's office were showing positive because I had just had a miscarriage. I was so upset. I called my mom and told her. I was driving to my parents and I was crying the whole way b/c of my uncle's passing and losing the baby. I never told my boyfriend. I had over a week to grieve and he didn't even know I was ever pregnant and I never would've known either had I not gone to the doctor for those other tests.

My mom told me to tell her what the follow up appointment showed. I told her that I lost the baby and they confirmed it and she was cold an callous to me. I was so upset. She told me to tell her and I thought it would bring us closer together. She's super christian and I guess b/c I am not married she felt like she didn't need to be supportive. I should've never told her. I feel horrible. I wish I hadn't told anyone really. I feel like there's no point in telling my boyfriend considering it's not here anymore. Reading these stories it makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore.

Thank you.

Shauna






Life After Death

I had my daughter in July of 2000. After a three year year relationship, I was surprised that it had taken so long to become pregnant. To my surprise after 7 years I became pregnant in Oct. 2006, unfortunately a week after seeing the heartbeat I noticed a small amount of blood on my underwear. Christmas Day, I left my aunt's and rushed to the hospital only to discover that the baby had no longer had a heartbeat. I was so shocked and in denial. I left and went to another hospital praying they were wrong. Sadly, the same reply. After a week of constant waiting I decided to get it over with a scheduled d&c, which I did Jan. 02, 2007.

I never thought I would be able to have babies again. Surprise, it is October 27, 2007 and I am 9 weeks pregnant. I saw the ultrasound and the heartbeat is perfect. The baby was bouncing around. I was so scared to see the ultrasound, but after the nurse informed me I was relieved to know that I got a second chance in life. I pray that I have a healthy baby. To all that have miscarried, don't lose faith. Things happen when you least expect it!

Lily






Lets be strong!

I am 22 years old. When I found out I was pregnant I was really surprised and I cried because I wasn't ready, but to see my boyfriend's happiness I got really happy and excited about the new member of the family.

I didn't have health insurance, so I applied for gov. help and the whole process delayed my first appointment to the Doctor. Before my first appointment at 13 weeks pregnant I started bleeding and in the ER they couldn't see the baby in the ultrasound, they said I could have an ectopic pregnancy or passed him/her already but didn't feel it. I said No, it can't be. Two days later the craps were killing me and started passing blood clots. This is the most difficult thing. As for now Doctors are still checking my blood HCG to make sure that is not a pregnancy outside the uterus. They think it was "just" an abnormal pregnancy.

The only thing I could tell other women going through this is that God is the only one who knows when it's time. Only we know how we feel, but we just have to be strong!

I know that is hard to get so excited and then all the sudden you find out something so sad, but our women strength will help us!

I have faith that everything will be ok. With me and I pray for all women going through this!


E.J







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