Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
So happy to have my two children
Back in April I lost our 3rd baby at ten weeks, we have a boy 3 and girl 2 already so I consider us to be very lucky. I actually lost our 3rd on my little boyís birthday. Then I became obsessed with trying again and my husband desperately wants/wanted more too.
But it was like something switched in my head and I realized that I had no support from him after the miscarriage. In fact, he went to work while it was happening to me on the Friday morning, maybe his way of coping I donít know. He wonít and hasnít discussed it with me since, has never asked how I am feeling but I now realize just how much hard work it would have been.
Itís now been five months and I see it as a blessing, it was meant to have happened, I still feel terribly upset thinking about it even writing this. But we have two beautiful children who are healthy and I want to spend my time concentrating on them. My husband however still wants more and is constantly on my case about having more even though he knows I donít.
Looking back now I think I became obsessed about another child because I wanted something to 'look forward' to because there were serious problems in my relationship. And I thought a baby would make them ok, there are still major problems in my relationship and who knows what the future holds. My partner has told me he doesnít know if we will stay together if I donít change my mind. But I know if I have a baby for him I will resent it somewhere down the line, the sad thing is I would love him to be happy with me and our two kiddies but although he loves the two we have. He has his mind set on more, it was the miscarriage that made me sit up and think, so to all of you with supporting partners who show you love and understanding you deserve, good luck my prayers are with you. And anyone in my situation please think before you rush into anything, a baby wonít mend a rocky relationship.
Blighted ovumI miscarried my first ever pregnancy at 9 weeks and 3 days. It was a blighted ovum, meaning the fetal sac developed to 16mm (6 weeks) but there was no fetal pole (no evidence at all of fetus). My first ultrasound was when I realized that all was perhaps not going so well. The doctor measured the sac at 6 weeks, and I told him that it should be at least 8 weeks by then, as I knew exactly when I ovulated.
He sent me for a transvaginal scan and without being told very much about what the ultrasonographer saw, he did ask me some revealing questions such as, have you had any cramping or bleeding? This was when I gave up hope and told my angels that it was ok to take this little angel if they had to - the next day I started bleeding and cramping and two days later I miscarried. Even though there was no fetus, I still felt pregnant for 9 weeks, and expected to have a baby 9 months later, but it wasn't to be.
I miss being pregnant and hope that luck shines upon us next time. To anyone else who has gone through this...it's ok to cry - I did, and it helped.
Best wishes to you all.
2 miscarriages and 1 broken heartHello, I am a 27 yr old woman who has been married for 2 1/2 yrs....as I was growing up I always wanted to be a mom. I love children just that much.... anyway I became sexually active at the age of 16 yrs old (my regret)...anyhow I was with my boyfriend for 7 yrs. I never became pregnant... I started to think I couldnít have kids...however we broke up when I was 22 and I met my husband when I was 23...we married when I was 25 and 2 months after our wedding I found out I was pregnant...oh my life was coming all together.
However at 10.5 wks there was no heartbeat. I was devastated. I wanted to die...I went into a depression for a couple of months. Envious of pregnant women. I cried so much.... after that my husband and me wanted to try again...so I started to take Clomid to speed our process...for a whole yr. Nothing. So I gave up...another yr went by ...and I became pregnant...I was so happy ...I was truly blessed...I found out at 9wks. I had a sonogram and I saw my baby!!! I cried.... as time progressedÖ I took my vitamins, and went to my appts...at 20 wks...I saw pink...I knew something was wrong. I had my husband take me to the emergency room and they examined me. They said my cervix was open and my water would break soon.... my heart left my body I couldn't believe this!
They gave me the opportunity to get a cerclage (were they sew the cervix shut) in the process of that, my water started leaking, so they had to stop the procedure! My water broke and I just cried and cried.... I was in the hospital for 6 days until they told me I had to be induced because my child lungs would not be able to develop at so early on and without the fluid...so me and my husband complied and about 5 hrs later I gave birth to my first born Chandler Nathaniel Rodney on 8/22/07 he weighed 10oz. He was alive for about 20mins...he was so perfect...I wanted to die with my son...I didnít want him to leave me, because we have just met...I didn't get a chance to be a mom to him, now what I am suppose to do...how can I go on...it took me 2yrs to get pregnant and I canít wait another 2yrs...
My life is so empty and I am trying to move on, but I constantly think of him...it seems like everyone I know is pregnant or just had their baby...most of them are on their 2nd and 3rd one and they werenít even trying...and I canít get my oneÖ Iíve always wanted...my exterior is holding together. But my interior is in pieces...I donít want to live. I want to be with my son...however I am Christian and I know my Jesus will bless me again soon! Please someone who has been thru a loss of a child talk to me...or email me [email protected]... just want to talk to anyone who can help me get thru my loss again... I canít do it alone.
2nd MiscarriageMy first miscarriage occurred in February this year and the baby would have been born on my mumís birthday however after just finding out we were pregnant and going through the rollercoaster of emotions from scared to happy, we were excited that we were going to be expecting our first child. However, it was not meant to beÖat 6 weeks our baby died, we were devastated I blamed myself, my husband was terrific very supportive.
We got on with our lives but really wanted to try again, we waited a few months and found out in June we were pregnant again. This time every twinge had me running to the toilet I was constantly scared that we were going to miscarry again.
Sadly after 8 weeks being pregnant I started to miscarry, I rang the midwife and she said it might be nothing and to rest but I should prepare myself for the fact that I could be miscarrying. Again our joy turned to despair and I felt "why me?" We so want kids I would even just settle for one at this stage. Its heart breaking everywhere I look I see pregnant bellies and I am so jealous, one of my friends at work is pregnant and she is due round the same time as our baby would have been born, so whilst I am totally delighted it is very hard to see her every day.
Also someone very close to me is also expecting their first child and I am feeling insanely jealous, as it was not planned and they are sailing through the pregnancy. I am hoping all goes well for them but I can't help how I feel. Were going to try again but I am petrified that we will have the same problem. So please say a wee prayer for us that this time we will be blessed with a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end.
Why again?Well, my story I feel is unlike anyoneís. I feel completely alone. But Iím sure there is someone who can relate out there. I have two healthy girls, 3 &1, and Iíve m/c twice now: 4/07 and again 8/07. I was 11 weeks and 2 days with each, both babies through ultrasound we heard heartbeats multiple times, but then at that 11-week appointment, I don't know. The first time I really lost it emotionally. This past time-I haven't cried, nothing. The day we found out I was taken immediately to have a D&E and the next day my husband went to work as usual. I just wish i could have one person to talk to, or to answer my questions.
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