Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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Why?


Tears roll down my cheeks as i type this. I am currently miscarrying, and still can't believe it's over.
I have a 4 year old daughter and this was my present to her. She has been asking for a baby brother or sister for the last two years but after so many complications associated with her birth i just wasn't ready. So we waited. When i started spotting on Friday night i was sad but not defeated, i spotted at the same time with my daughter but it just felt different. i had been experiencing quick stabbing pains which i tried to write off as wind, ligament stretching, anything else but the M word. I told my husband and he was worried but he had made a prior arrangement to help a friend who's wife had given birth at 28 weeks. So he left. The spotting continued off and on for 3 days sometimes bright red and sometimes brown. We continued with our plans for the weekend visiting my Sister who given birth on Saturday and the 28 week old baby. All the while knowing i would never get to stage. I do not resent them i am happy for them i am even happy for my sister in law who is 16 weeks pregnant. 2 months ahead of me. I just can't go and see her. Watching her belly grow while mine doesn't will be the hardest thing i will ever have to do.
I have had the pelvic U/S and the vaginal U/S and the comparison in hormone levels and i still can't believe my baby is dead. I still hold out the tiniest hope that it is just all a big mistake. But deep in my heart i know it isn't.....

Kate






misery

My story. Sad bitter ending. I miscarried . Well what really happened is that my baby died in my womb almost three weeks ago. I didn't feel right but my doctors kept telling me the pain and everything was normal. I had no bleeding so everything was fine. I go in for my actual first regular baby check up, even though I have actually seen the doctors 3 times before, and she can't find a heart beat. I am about 11 weeks. She says don't worry, he's hiding. We'll do an ultrasound. He's not hiding, he's dead and not just dead, he stopped growing at 8 1/2 wks. So for nearly three weeks he was dead inside of me.
Now I have to go for a D & C. So have that done and now what I'm not pregnant any more I am nothing. I was at the dr. at 8 wks and 4 days because my blood pressure had gone up to 141/105 at work the day before so I called them they said come in. When I get there my blood presure is fine so they act like i am lying and send me on my way. Do you think they check the baby ? NO! I am at my baby dr and don't feel well and they don't check the baby's heartbeat. Maybe if they had of they might have found out something then, or even saved him. Now everyone says well this just happens, he had problems, well that dosent help. All I want is my baby back!!!






My four little gifts to God

I've been married for almost nine yrs. My husband and I married when I was 16. I was young so I never thought of being pregnant or getting pregnant.
It was in February of 2003 when I started to feel sharp pains in my belly. I didn't think to much of it. Ever since I got married I had very irregular periods. Which was the reason I never got pregnant the first 6 years of my marriage. I hadn't had my period yet when I started getting these pains being pregnant was the last thing that crossed my mind.
A few days later I Decided to go into to ER. My husband was at work so i didn't tell him and went on my own. After blood test and a urine sample my problem was solved I was pregnant!!! It was the best news ever I felt I was a grown woman now and I loved kids and my husband also I thought we were finally ready to receive this gift from God.
My husband and I were very excited. My mom and my whole family were so excited for us. I had a doctor appointment a few days later they were aware about me being pregnant. When I got there they had me do a urine sample then wait for the doctor. My life was changed forever as soon as the door openned. As soon as the doctored walked in the worst thing to here come out of her mouth was YOUR NOT PREGNANT!!! My heart felt like it broke and I was Devastated. She said the pregnancy test came out negative. She gave me a U/S and a exam and seen that I was bleeding and was starting to miscarry. It was very hard but me and my husband pulled through.
Our next pregnancy happened about 3 years later in early march. I had finally started a regular period in june of 2005. So it didn't take 6 years again. I had tender breast and I had a regular period in february and then another 3 day period in the same month I thought it was kind of weird. I kind of had a feeling that I might be pregnant again but didn't say anything to anyone. I ended up having a pap smear scheduled about a week later so when I went to go see the doctor sure enough I found out I was pregnant. I was excited but very scared.
My due date was suppose to be December 8th of this year. Everything was going fine I quit my job. I was being really cautious with myself. But something was always telling me that something was going to go wrong. It was in the month of july I was exactly 5 months. I had woke up in the morning and felt this pressure drop in my belly. It felt weird but not painful. Then I went into the bathroom and found that I had lots of clear discharge .
I was very peranoid my friends and family told me it probably was nothing that this was normal and for me to quit worrying so much. I couldn't help it I checked into the ER to find out that I was dialating. They checked me into the ob and I was kept there for a few days. The doctor told me if i could lay in bed without getting out at all I could have a small chance of not going into labor early. So I layed in the hospital bed for a few days then was transfered to a childrens hospital. They told me that I was going to be able to get a cerclage done there. Thats when they sew up your cervix so the baby will stay in. But when I got there the doctor told me they couldn't do it because I had BV which I wasn't aware of and it was to late to get a cerclage usually you get them when your 3 months. The only hope was to go home be in complete bed rest and hope for the best.
Everything was going fine until the early morning on August 8th a day I will never forget because thats my moms birthday. I woke up with contractions. My husband took me into the ER to find out I was almost in labor. They sent me back to the childrens hospital. They gave me magnezium to stop the contractions. I was going on 23 weeks being pregnant the doctor said if I could make it to 24 weeks there could be a chance of saving the baby but If I went into labor before that there was very little chance. I thought to myself I was in bed rest for almost 3 weeks if I made it this far whats a little more than a week.
Well it didn't work out that way. I ended up going into labor August 10th I was fully dialated and it couldn't be stopped. I ended up having to push after a couple pushes the baby was out all I seen when they pulled her out was her mouth drop open gasping for air. They tried everything but there wasn't no hope she was to small and her lungs wern't functioning. My heart was broken. I was blessed with a baby girl and had her in my arms for a few moments while her heart beat started to fade away. It was the worst feeling and day in my life. I thank God for at least giving us that little time time of being with her but Im also still upset that it just wasn't enough time.
We named her Natalia Angel because she was our little Angel. She was beautiful I just wish she was here with us. Im still trying to mend my broken heart but its hard it hurts so much. But Im learning to be strong.
I found out a few weeks ago that I was pregnant again. I didn't think it could happen so soon but it did. I was happy but very scared. Also I felt so guilty for I thought that it was to soon. I had just lost my little Angel I didn't want her to think that her mommy was trying to replace her.
I went to the doctors and she said it was still to soon to see a heartbeat but everything was progressing well. I tried not to worry to much until I started to lightly spot. The doctor told me to come in. She did a U/S and said everything was fine that it was my placenta forming. I had seen the doctor 3 times and had 3 U/S done before I was even 6 weeks because I was at high risk. I went to see the doctor a few days ago she did another U/S and said the sacs had shrunk. To find out I was pregnant with twins. She told me I was miscarrying and she was very sorry. Again the part of my heart that started to heal from losing my little Angel had broken once again. I was givein the choice of a D&C or just go through the miscarriage on my own I picked to have it happen naturally.
I wished things could have went alot better for me but they seem to never do. I have a doctors appointment tommorow again. I havnt had any signs of a miscarriage yet no pain or heavy bleeding just light spotting. My breast are still tender and my back still aches. Im going to have the doctor do another ultersound just in case. Miracles do happen and I pray to God he would give me this one. I dont think anything is going to change but we never know.
Its hard having a miscarriage but its harder when you give birth to your child knowing that your child has very little chance of survival. I lost four little Angels and I know one day there daddy and I will be reunited In heaven and never torn apart. Im going to try not to get pregnant for a while until we feel that we are definetly ready. God will finally bless us with another Angel and let us keep that one and not him. Sorry my story was so long but I just want to let you ladies out there know That iv'e been through it and I know how you all feel. And Im very sorry and I hope everything goes better in the future for you. Lots of hugs to all of you and God bless you.

Ermalinda






Is there light at the end of this tunnel?

Tommorrow, is my birthday. Tommorrow, I am having a D&C done. What a birthday present, huh? Not really, I could care less that it is my birthday except that I am going to be 41 years old. This is my second miscarrage in a row. I've had a great 40 years but when I finally found the right man to marry and have a child with, BOOM! It was not as easy as I thought it was going to be. I was just married this past May. I got pregnant right away and lost this one at 6 to 7 weeks. One month or so later, I got pregnant again. This time I felt great, no morning sickness and just growing like a mother should. I was so excited and I think my husband was even starting to really to beleive that this was going to be a good pregnancy that I could carry to full term. Went to the Doctor to see the sonogram. Wow! the baby was as big as a lime already! What, no heart beat? I was devastated! Also, it looked as if something was wrong with it's spine too. My doctor told me instead of waiting to see if there is going to be another miscarraige, that we would go ahead and send the baby to the lab for testing, to see what went wrong. Then he is going to send me to a specialist. I so desparately wanted this baby but have to be patient. It's so hard because of my age, to be patient though.
I don't want to take fertility pills. I really beleive that it is not a fertility problem anyway since I've gotten pregnant twice already. I just hope the specialist can help us pin point the problem.
Yes, like the other women feel, I am so sad, lonely, empty inside, mad, and mostly just confused why this keeps happening. I've always took pretty good care of myself and stay at a good weight for my height. I guess it's probably, my age more than anything that I'm battling here.
Is there anyone out there who is my age or was my age when they had their first child. Am I the only woman out there, who waited until she turned 40 to finally start trying to get pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I've known all my life that I wanted a child, it's just that the right time didn't come along until now.
Thanks to this web site for letting me write down my feelings. I hope this helps me like writing in a journal is suppose to help.
I actually, feel a little releif after reading other womens story that this didn't happen farther a long in the pregnancy. I feel so sad for the women who carried a baby into the 2nd or 3rd trimester and then lost the infant. I can't even imagine how that would feel since 11 weeks a long, has me so depressed.

Rhonda






The little one I lost

I am 28 years old with two beautiful children from my first marriage. I recently got remarried to the most amazing man who loves my two children as his own. But we wanted to make our family complete by adding a child that was made by both of us. We found out that we were pregnant and my husband cried he was so excited.

I went in for a Dr. appointment at 11 weeks, my husband came with me because he was so excited to hear the heartbeat. At the Dr. Visit they couldn't find the heartbeat, but reassured us that it was just too early to hear. Two weeks later I spotted, I called the Dr. and she reassured me that everything was fine and that it wasn't a big deal. The Dr. told me to come in and they would find the heartbeat to make me feel better about the situation. I went straight to the Dr. where she spent nearly 15 minutes trying to find the heartbeat and was unsuccessful. Again she reasurred me that everything was fine.

She knew how worried I was about the situation, so she sent me to have an ultrasound. The unltrasound was so long the technician kept zooming in and out and in and trying to find the heartbeat. I knew what I was looking at... it was a beautiful baby that was no longer alive. They sent in a Dr. to confirm my worst fear "fetal demise". I was in shock. I was 13 weeks. I was almost through the first trimester.

But the one thing about all of this that upset me the most was that I had lost the baby at 10 weeks. A missed miscarriage is what they labeled it. My baby had been dead for two and a half weeks and I didn't even know it. My body didn't even know. My husband and I were devastated.How could this have happened? I was sent in the next morning for a D&C. I had the best doctor, but even the best doctor can't help how you feel about going in to the hospital pregnant and leaving empty.

This was four days ago and my heart hurts, I can't eat and I can't sleep. I can't explain how I feel, except that I feel like I am missing something. Something that I had dreamed of. A baby that I had wanted so badly. A baby that will always have a place in my heart.

TO the little one I lost...I love you.
TO God...Take care of my baby...he needs you.

Bevin







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