Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Tell me it's not true
My husband and I were trying to concieve for almost a year and a half. When I found out I was pregnant last April with my first child I was so exited. I could not believe we had finally made it. I started telling everyone, frineds, family, co-workers and everyone was so happy for me. It was a dream come true. My husband was as exited as I was, and wanted to buy things as soon as we found out. We went to different stores, compared prices but since we didn't know wether it was going to be a boy or a girl we decided not to buy anything until we knew.
When I was about 6 weeks I went to my first appointment. I expected an ultrasound but it didn't happen. The doctor told me he would do it by the 10th week because the baby was still too small and he thought it wasn't necesary. I was a little dissapointed, but I managed to deal with it. Everyday I thought how this baby was going to be, who he/she was going to look like, everyday I thought about things only mothers know about. To my surprise, when I was 8 weeks along, while was laying in bed watching TV, I felt this horrible pain that lasted like 10 seconds. I checked for blood and saw nothing.
The next morning when I went to the bathroom I saw a little spotting in the underwear a a little bit of blood in the bottom of the toilet. I would say about the size of a nickel. I was so desparate and scared!! I called the doctor but the office was closed, I had to wait until the next day for a chekup. I went, they gave me an ultrasound and confirmed the baby was in there. I saw her/him for the first time, I was so happy and relieved. The doctor told me that spotting was normal during the first trimester, that he thought I had nothing to worry about but made me take some blood test just to make sure.
The very next day I took one test and 2 days later I took the other. A family member picked up the results and told me everything seemed fine. I was so happy!. Then a few days later I had my appointment so I went to my relative's to pick up my results and head off to the OB-GYN. When I fist took a look, everything seemed fine, but when I started reading I suddenly realized that nothing was right, on the contrary, everything was wrong. The results indicated that the baby had stopped growing and I was going to miscarry. I instantly started shaking and became very anxious.
When I got to the doctors office for my appointment I felt so sad, but one of the ladies who was sitting next to me told me that the same thing happened to her and that she took the test again in another place and instead got the good news that everything was fine. Can you believe it? She was doing fine, the baby was doing fine, and so I thought maybe I'm doing fine too. So I went in, a little nervous, and told the doctor what I thought. He told me It could be possible, that I 've had gotten a mixed-up result and also gave me instructions to go to a specific place to get an intravaginal sonogram to chek for some heartbeat. Meanwhile he took an ultrasound (from my belly) and confirmed the baby was a little bigger than the last time, but told me that it appeared to be too small for the time I expected to have.
So I went the very next day for my intravaginal and as I was going in I felt calmed. I thought to my self "everything's going to be fine". A nurse came in, the sonogram began and I expected to hear a heartbeat, but didn't. Since this was my first pregnancy, I didn't know if it was normal or not. I thought maybe The monitor's volume is down. All the time the monitor was behind me so I couldn't see a thing. I saw her writing in a computer, then taking some measurements. Minutes went by, the sonogram was over and I never saw or heard anything. I thought to myself "this is strange". I thought it was going to be like in the movies, when they show you your baby, and you hear the heartbeats. But figured, maybe they don't do it like that in real life, or maybe she was just in a hurry and didn't feel like talking much. The only thing I heard was " you can come pick up the results by 1:00 pm". And so I did.
When I get the envelope, the first thing I see is my baby's picture with measurements and everything. As I go on looking through the pictures I notice this white paper, which had the bad news...
it read " A single pregnancy with an aprox. age of 8 wks. bla bla bla . No heartbeat was found.... fetal demise. I was inmediatly shocked and started crying. I was 10 wks when I found out, so it meant that my baby had been dead for 2 weeks and my doctor didn't even noticed it when he took the ultrasounds. I was devastated, my husband of course was beside be through the whole process. We were both criying and I could seem to stop feeling useless.
We imediatly went to the doctors office where he told me "these things happen" and scheduled my D&C for three days after. Those days were the worst days of my life. I couldn't stop criying, only when I slept and if could even. All the time I thought " how is this possible? why me? This can't be true!! after all this time and now what? Did I do something wrong? Did I cause this?, and the worse feeling of all is the fact that I was carrying something I loved so much, but was never going to get to see or hold in my arms. The fact that my baby had been dead for a while now and I didn't even know. I still had my morning sickness, I still had all the symptoms. I did not see this comming!!!
Finally the worst day came. Went to the hospital, everything was done and after that it was crying every day for weeks. I couldn't face anyone, I couldn't speak, eat, sleep, I couldn't do anything. I just felt like dying. It took me a while to face it. It's been two months since my loss and I still cry. I never knew what caused it, and never will. That is something that will hunt me for the rest of my life. My doc. tells me I can start trying soon but I'm so scared. If this happens again, I might not be able to go through it. It is an emotional rollercoaster, but instead of going up and down, it's just going down.
I was relieved to know I'm not the only one that has gone through this. For a while I thought these things didn't happen often since I don't personally know anyone that has experienced it. I feel sad everytime I see a newborn in a parent's arm. And I get so mad when I hear people say "I'm pregnant, but I don't want it". All the time I think they should be gratefull for what they have, for what they're about to experience. I would give anything to have that !!! and I'm pretty sure there are thousands of women who would too.
Life does work in strange ways, sometimes people who don't want to be parents are blessed with many children, while others that are dying to be one, may never get that chance. It is c-r-u-e-l. Life isn't fair.
RESPONSE TO SARAHHi sarah and all on the site,
My name is Sasha. I was pregnant with my 1st baby at 8 weeks the doctor believes. My fiance and I were so happy and excited, its amazing how you develop a quick bond with your unknown baby. I was completely devastated as well when I lost my baby. Right when I arrived at the hospital is when it happened and it was the worse thing I have ever had to go through. I never seen a grown man cry so much my fiance was completely shattered to. He has been my rock and I love him so dearly for being strong.
Us women when we go through this sometimes want our man to also break down and cry all the time with us to but it does not happen, at least for me, he was strong for me, seeing him break down now that I look back would make it harder for me. I miscarried back november of last year and we are soon going to be trying again..
I pray to god everything goes ok. The miscarriage was natural so no DNC required. However after I miscarried my hormones were complete wacked so the doctor advised me to go back on birth control for a full three months then get off because she knew I would be looking to get pregnant again. Well I got off birth control in april and did not get my normal period until august. So it takes some time but be positve it will come. As far as doctors stating to wait after miscarrying, I dont truly believe that, they say its more emotional then anything. But I would recommend being on prenatal vitamins for several months prior to trying, so if you miscarried keep taking them so if you do get pregnant right after you have that in your system.
It is so hard when you miscarry, you want to know the reasons why and feel so empty and alone, and jealous when you see others that are pregnant and or not doing the right things they should. I never thought i would want to try again after it happened, but now i am ready. I think it all depends on how you feel , if you are ready for it then try, do not do it because your husband and or boyfriend want to try again, you yourself have to be ready emotionally and physically to take it on.
So be safe, pray, and know that others have went through it and have went on to have beautiful successful pregnancies, if it happens again keep trying you will get there !
I do not know anyone here personally, but I truly love and care for each of you and god bless I will pray everyone has a full term healthy pregnancy.
blot clot caused miscarriageI had a miscarriage after having three daughters in late 2005. I had low progesterone on this fourth pregnancy. My doctor put me on progesterone suppositories and was told to take it easy for the remainder of the first trimester since low progesterone causes undeveloped placentas, hence a miscarriage.
At 14 weeks, I was told that there was no hearbeat and the refused a D&C and delivered naturally with the help of cytotec (medication). It took me six months (and the help of clomid medication) and I conceived again. I was excited when I found out that my progesterone levels were normal. I was put on progesterone suppositories just to be safe since I lost the previos pregnancy.
At 13 weeks, I was again told the hearbeat is missing and the gestational age of the fetus was at 10 weeks. I was devastated. This was the second time in 1 year that I miscarried. I had seen a hemotologist during this last pregnany for low platelets which was unrelated to the pregnancy. In his vast search for any blood disorders, he discovered that I have a deficiency elsewhere in the blood that causes clots which can kill a fetus. Unfortunately, it took the lab way too long for the results to come back because the clots killed the fetus while the blood samples were in the lab.
The doctor, put me on heparin shots for thirty days after the miscarriage to stabalize the clots already in my blood and said that I would need to go on the anti coagulant shots immediately after I find out I am pregnant again. I found it interesting that after I lost my last pregnancy my OB-GYN only took routine blood work. Everything came back normal.
I think OB-GYN's should check for all possibilities of what can cause a miscarriage before it happens multiple times. I hope that women who have gone through any amount of miscarriages see second opinions as different doctors have different minds and think of different possibilities for this situation.
EctopicMy husband and I finally agreed it was time for a baby. I went for my yearly exam and the Doctor suggested I start early on taking vitamins to build up the folic acid. I changed from Depo to birth control pills way before that so it would be faster getting pregnant when I stopped the pills rather than coming off of depo.
I started eating better and stopped my birth control and 3 months later I was pregnant! I felt I was doing everything right for my baby. The pregnancy started out great with no morning sickness or pains or anything. I was sleeping better and everything seemed great. It was about my 8th week and I got some spotting and was told not to worry it was probably just implanting or because it was around the time when I should be getting my period.
I worried when it continued for about a week and after being sent to an ultrasound they determined I had an ectopic pregnancy and the next day at 9 weeks I was in surgery. I got pregnant about a year later and was told that the baby would not survive because I wasn't making enough progesterone so I had to take extra progesterone for about 9 weeks.
I am now almost 8 weeks along and the baby is doing fine.
Lost my babyI hope u some one can help me, can answer my question, the guilt s killing me I cannot forgive myself.
Although I knew that I am pregnant which I didnít get my period since May 17th/ 06 , in Jun 22 Missed my period so I bought a home pregnancy test to make see if i am pregnant or not I couldnít use it I was afraid of getting a positive results so I decided not to use it
On July the 29th I started to bleed a little so I thought that this is my period and since I am under too much stress at work I thought that was the cause for not getting my period in June and July. Also I didnít feel any of these feelings like morning sickness or back pain or breast pain all I felt was gaining more weight.
The bleeding and the amount of blood wasnít as much as I usually get during my period time it was way less like few drops a day. When it lasted for 10 days I started to worry,, I decided to work out hard to get it out of my system which I did work out for 2 hours that day which I usually donít. In the top of this I wore a body shaper veryyyyy tight (under the dress) for over 5 hours (my friends party)
Last Thursday 08/1006 I started to bleed enormous amount of thick lumps of blood looks like an un-cooked animal liver I donít know how to describe it, it seems like tissue, I never seen that before but can defiantly tell that this is a miscarriage. I also ďfinallyĒ used the pregnancy test and it was positive. I was pregnant.
I am still bleeding till now but the lumps stopped it is just regular blood like the period blood. I am 37 years old and my husband is 41 we are not looking or planning of having kids, but if we both knew that I was pregnant I would probably have tried to do my best to keep the baby. we are both Catholic and we believe in God and we would have accepted his gift if we knew.
Here is what is killing me. do you think if I consulted a Dr. in the first day when I slightly started to bleed in July 29 could I have saved the baby???? Could i have done anything to save this baby? it is my entire fault since I avoided knowing the whole situation.
Do you think it is normal to bleed for a while during the fist few month of pregnancy? and the Dr. could have instructed me to ways of resting to save the baby or it is something neither working out that day nor wearing this tight body under my dress were involved in my losing my baby??
I need your help the guilt is killing me and I am afraid to tell my husband the full truth I donít want to look like the heartless &^%$ who ignored to know the fact that she is pregnant. I am all in tears now and I really donít know what I I cannot tell you how much I hate myself, I feel I am the one who killed the baby by my stupid ignorance and scariness.
Please reply I need to hear your answer.
Page: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 185, 186, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 225, 226, 227, 228, 229, 230, 231, 232, 233, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 242, 243, 244, 245, 246, 247, 248, 249, 250, 251, 252, 253, 254, 255, 256, 257, 258, 259, 260, 261, 262, 263, 264, 265, 266