Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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My Baby


My husband and I had been trying for about 10 months to get pregnant. When it finally happened it was a blessing and we were so excited. We went to my first dr. visit and ultra sound at 10 weeks. I had prepared myself to cry because I am seeing my baby for the first time. I had found out about a month along and had already fell in love with him/her. Then the dr. told us that she could not detect a heart beat and the baby was the size of a 6 week old insead of 10 weeks and the sac was not developing good. I had so many thoughts and fears at that time. I lost the baby on May 23, 06. It was painful both physically and mentally. This was my first baby, and will always be.

Joy






Cheated out

Our 3rd miscarriage, and the emotional pain is so deep.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 5 years, in our later 30's but still felt we should have no problems. We did an invitro treatment only to have that fail 3 days later. So we decided we wanted to adopt. And then as we are going through the paper work, we find out I'm pregnant, surprise, we told the world, friends family, co-workers, at 71/2 weeks an ultra sound showed everything was fine and on date. 3 weeks later I started to bleed and it got worse and more painful, sitting in emergency for 5 hours and not once being looked at was very difficult, then being sent home to say there is nothing they can do. In the middle of the night I was going through this full force, never do I want to feel this pain again. 6 weeks later we decide to continue on with the adoption , I just wanted a baby and didn't care how it was to come to us.

Within 3 months our beautiful angel was born, a healthy boy. The love we have for him is greater than I could ever explain, but I always wondered why I couldn't be given the chance to give birth myself. Our boy is now 20months and we found out I was pregnant again. Very cautious and scarred we kept it to ourselves until I was about 9 weeks.Then we had an ultrasound the next week, only to see it's twins, but only at 6weeks size, so they argued with me on my dates, I am 100% positive when we conceived. So last week at 11 weeks another ultra sound was done only to see, my babys are gone. I'm told they absorbed into my body. I was devistated, how can they just disappear. So now I sit and wait for the bleeding to start and have the choice of a D&C next week.I am so scarred, devistated and just feeling lost. Once again my hopes are shattered and this was the last hope of trying. My husband said the pain is too great to try this again, we just have to be thankful for the beautiful gift of our son by adoption. I feel cheated out of the most amazing privilege in life, giving birth to my baby. If God has other plans for us I wish I didn't have to go through all this pain just to find out.

Sherri

Sherri






My baby

My husband and I waited 6 years to try to have a baby. I ended up becoming pregnant the first month we tried! We were shocked and happier that words can describe.

I am still pregnant- 9 weeks today. I went for an ultrasound a couple of days ago and was told that the amniotic sac is not growing but the baby is and he/she is basically being suffocated as a result. There was a heartbeat but it was faint and irregular. My doctor informed me that my pregnancy is a "doomed" one and there is nothing that can be done but to wait for nature to take its course.

I have an appointment next week for another ultrasound. The doctor believes that the heart will likely have stopped by then and they will have to do a D&C.

It is so difficult to sit here, still pregnant, knowing my baby is dying and there is nothing that can be done. I cannot let go of the grief because it has not happened yet! Instead, I can't eat, sleep, work, function, etc... I am completely numb.

The thought of starting over is so overwhelming. I was on pins and needles the 9 weeks that I have been pregnant because my greatest nightmare was a miscarriage. I was almost there; almost past the first trimester! It is so heartbreaking. I know that I will be even more nervous the next time. We wanted this baby so bad! I just want this to be over so that I can move on. I am sick of running to the bathroom with every cramp wondering if there will be blood this time. I am trying to stay positive but it is hard to imagine that I will ever feel whole again.

Niki






Our Sweet Baby Girl

I was 37wks pregnant and very excited. My little boy (19 mths old) was going to be a big brother. I went to my weekly doctors appt on the Thursday and everything was fine. The heartbeat and blood pressure were right on target. But, as I was leaving the office I suddenly felt really strange. I almost turned back so the doctor could check me again but, told myself that I was just being silly (mothers intuition?).

I was so busy on Friday setting everything up for my new arrival that I didnt even notice if I was having any movement. Saturday morning i awoke and waited for my good morning kicks and recieved nothing. So my husband and I raced to the hospital where it was confirmed. Our precious baby had died. I was then induced and we went home to wait for labour to begin.We paced around the house for hours in shock. Not knowing if we should sit or stand, what to say? Everything was a blur.

Labor only lasted for 5 hrs and then my husband and I took turns holding our perfect baby girl in our arms for 9 hrs. Then we had to say goodbye. Oh god, I didnt want to say goodbye. The nurse came and put her in a wicker laundry basket, covered her with a white towel and she was gone. I never cried so hard in my life. It was so unfair. I did everything right and they couldnt give me a reason as to why this happened. She was perfectly healthy. She was born on Jan.22/06 and weighed 6lbs 3ozs. We named our little girl Heather.

Good Bye "Our Wee Heather" We will remember you always,

Love Your Mom, Dad and Big Brother

This is a poem a good friend wrote for us,

Heaven-sent

A child is given as a gift from above,
Starts out as a dream, which grows in love.
Time passes by as you wait to receive
The child that is meant for you, we believe.
You ready yourselves, you plan, you prepare,
Knowing that child within, for whom you care,
Is also getting ready to meet you one day.
"May we be the parents she needs," you pray.

When life takes a turn, unexpected and tough,
We see if we're all truly strong enough,
To face the loss of an angel so young,
We hear of this silent, still gift, and we're stung
By the unfathomable end, a dream unfilled.
We all stand beside you; we shudder, we're chilled.
Heads shake, tears fall, for the dream is cut short.
In this we're reminded life's a gift from the Lord.

For each life there's a plan that our eyes may not see,
Perhaps this angel's purpose was for her to be
Briefly in your lives, but forever in our hearts.
Your love will keep growing, there is still a part
For your daughter to play in the future: she's taught
Us all to deeply value the precious gifts we've got.
We grieve with you now, and we'll never forget
Your little one, now sleeping, for she was heaven-sent.

Sherri King






Andrew

I was 18 when I got pregnant. I had no idea. I hadn't planned for a baby at all. I was five months pregnant and I had no idea. I had no symptoms and I hardly gained any weight. I was in bed that evening and starting having awful back and stomach cramps. I was fairly convinced that I had a kidney infection. I kept going back and forth to the bathroom until the pains got so bad that I couldn't stand up.

My sister took me to the emergency room where I waited for five hours. I was scared, alone, and in the greatest pain of my life. A doctor came in several hours later and told me that I was pregnant and that I had an ectopic pregnancy and could die. I was so afraid. About ten minutes later, he told me that I was having a normal pregnancy and that I was 19 weeks along, but he thought that I was having a miscarriage. I was so scared to find out that I was pregnant when I didn't want to be and then after accepting that, found out that I was losing my baby. I was in so much pain and I delievered my baby Andrew at 6 in the morning. He was beautiful. He had a nose and eyes and all his fingers and toes. I wished that he was mine to keep.

Now I feel alone and sad. Everyone has moved on but I'm still a scared little girl in the emergency room covered with blood, holding a tiny baby boy who didn't have a chance. I pray for the day when I have a healthy baby that can come home with me. I pray that all the other mothers who have lost their babies find that, too.

Sherri King







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