Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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Nathan Still Lives On


My husband and I found out that I we were expecting our first child 5 weeks into my pregnancy. We were just so excited and couldn't wait to tell everyone. And before we knew it this little child inside of me became our whole world. It was so exciting to think that in just a little while we will be holding our first baby in our arms. I wondered what it would be like to me a mom, what our child would look like, would it be a boy or a girl? I just couldn't wait to find it all out. Sometimes I would even hold my tummy, that seemed to be growing very fast, and just talk or sing to my precious little baby. But, in the back of my mind I always knew there was the possibility of a miscarriage.

Two months passed on and I finally got to hear my baby's heart beat. It was one of the most amazing things I had ever experienced. The doctor said the heartbeat seemed very slow and faint... but not to worry because it was still very early in the pregnancy. About 3 weeks passed by when I started to spot and have bad cramping. So I scheduled another appointment to see the doctor. But that night the craps got so bad, my husband helped me down to the bathroom, where I had a misscarriage. I started to cry harder than I ever have before, not because of the pain, but because I just lost my only child.

We went to the hospital where they confirmed what had happened. It's been over a month since that day, but there's still not a minute that goes by that I don't think of our little baby. It's still so hard when I see another pregnant lady not to wish that I were her, or to walk by the baby section in Walmart where we used to spend most of our time and wish that I could be back there.

I sympathize with everone who has ever been through a miscarriage - it's probably the hardest thing someone could go through. But, I do know and believe that God has a plan for everyone's life. Whether it's to live till your 93 or only just a few short months inside your mother's womb. I believe that God's purpose for my baby now lives through me, to help other women who have gone through such a great loss. And I also believe that our little baby is in heaven. And I can't wait for the day when I can finally hold it and give it a kiss.

While in the hospital, our Pastor gave us the idea of naming our child so this is what we chose... Nathan (because he was God's gift) Jeffrey (because he is in a peaceful land). Nathan Jeffrey. It's helps now whenever I talk about him, not to just say 'the baby,' but to call him by his full name. And I know that Nathan Jeffrey still lives on today.

I love you Nathan!
Love Mommy and Daddy xoxoxoxoxo

Jen






Angel Baby

I am a mother of two boys ages 8 and 10. Then I found out the I was pregnant after 8 years. I always wanted another baby, especially a little girl. Well the good lord heard my prayers and sent me my angel. Although my pregnancy was fine, my doctor wanted me to watch my sugar. He thought that I could became diabetic.

Until the 34 week of pregnancy, I was diabetic during pregnancy. I had an ultrasound 10 days before my due date and my baby was moving and growing all over. The day after May 10th, I went into labor. My mother went with me to the doctor's office. The doctor couldn't find her heart beat. He sent me to the other room to another ultrasound. When she the tech was moving the probe around my belly, I thought she was going to tell me that my baby was getting ready to come out. But instead she had left and called the doctor. He informed me that my baby girl had passed away.

I thought that I was dreaming and that this wasn't happening to me. The staff let my mother in and gave her the news. She right away called my husband. Before I know it, he was there next to me crying and in shock. I was also in shock I could not speak. All I could think was that it wasn't true.

I was in labor for two days until my beautiful curly haired, chubby cheeks, and little button nose angel was born. 8lbs and 14.oz. We had the support of family and friends who came to see our baby because the hospital allowed us to spend as much time as we needed to say our adios.

When the funeral director came for her, I felt huge part of me was leaving and never coming back. But just then I turned and saw my two healthy little boys moaning with me and my husband. And I thanked God that I still have them. And I need to love them even more than ever because life is way to precious to take for granted.

I will pray for all of you who have gone through the same loss.

Angela Garcia






Emotional wreck

I have 2 healthy daughters, ages 5 and 9. I didn't think my husband and I would have any more children. I am a Navy wife, and the pregnancy rate soars when the ships return from deployment, but it's never happened to me. My husband is deployed to Japan right now. He's been gone for a week.

The day he left, I took a pregnancy test because my period was late. It was positive and he was ecstatic. I was in shock, but it sank in slowly. We have grown so much in our marriage since the time we had our daughters. That's probably due to the military, being away from our famliies and having only ourselves to depend on at all times. It was so surreal, but the more I thought about it, the more excited I became.

Three days later I started to spot, which I didn't think much of since I spotted with my first pregnancy. As the day wore on, the bleeding became heavier, I began to cramp and my lower back began to ache. I went to the hospital after a friend came over to stay with my girls. I was asked to give a urine sample, and as I was voiding, I passed the baby. I knew what it was, even though it was "tissue". The doctor came in and his first words were "Oh no."

I'm a nurse, and there's no mistaking what I saw. I wish I hadn't seen it because all I could think of was that was part of my husband and myself. My husband was on the other side of the world and had no idea. I was hysterical, which really confused me because I didn't actually know I wanted another baby until this happened.

My husband sent an email telling me how excited he was about the baby, which I didn't receive after I returned from the hospital. Having to tell him was agony. He was angry at himself for not being here, though he's serving our country so nothing could've been done about that.

My heart aches, but it's so strange to me to hurt so bad because I was only 5 weeks pregnant. I have gone through having to say goodbye to my husband for 6 months to finding out I'm pregnant to losing the pregnancy in the span of 5 days.

I am worn out....but I do take comfort in knowing I'm not alone. My girls hadn't yet been told about the pregnancy so I don't have to worry about telling them I miscarried. I never thought this would happen. It never even crossed my mind. I feel guiltly, but I don't know exactly why.

I do know I loved this baby and will always love this baby, even if we were only together for a brief moment.

DJ






I am Lost

I found out at 6 weeks that I was pregnant. I am 37 years old and have 2 beautiful healthy kids ages 5 and 7and was just thrilled to be having another baby. I knew this would be our last one and was really looking forward to having a new baby in the house again. My kids were extremely excited that they were gonna be the "Big" brother and "Big" sister. I had spotted early on in my pregnancy and had been seeing my Dr. every 2 weeks. Ultrasounds showed that the baby was doing just fine.

At 12 weeks the spotting had stopped and my Dr. did another ultrasound and the baby was just moving all over the place. I had felt relieved that I was finally past the 12 weeks, I thought if you miscarry it's before 12 weeks. I was finally starting to enjoy my pregnancy and not worrying like I had early on. I was scheduled to see my Dr. again at 16 weeks just for my routine prenatal check up. He tried to listen for the heart beat but couldn't hear it and did not seem alarmed because he said my pulse was so loud. He wanted to do a quick ultrasound just to check the heart beat.

As I was laying there watching the screen, I could see the baby, but absolutely NO movement and NO heart beat. I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't beleive that the worse thing possible had happened to me. My Dr. sent me to the hospital to reconfirm what he thought had happened, that the baby had died. I felt numb and so overwhelmingly sad. My husband was by my side for my 2nd ultrasound.

As I'm sitting in the waiting room waiting to be called in, all these happy pregnant woman are sitting there waiting to see their baby's heart beat for the first time. I was just beside myself with grief. When they did my ultrasound it reconfirmed what my Dr. had said. My baby was no longer alive. I couldn't understand why my baby died. Just 4 weeks ago, the baby was doing just fine. I was scheduled for a D&C the following day and cried the entire time.

For two and a half weeks I did nothing but feel so sorry for myself and for my baby. I have NEVER felt like that before. It has been 3 weeks now and I am getting through the days easier, but it is constantly on my mind. Will I ever feel like I did before this whole nightmare happened? The days are easier but I can tell you there is not a minute that goes by that I don't think about it. I wake up with it on my mind and when I close my eyes at night it's on my mind.

It's hard for me to see pregnant woman without thinking that should be me. It's hard to explain to people how I am feeling if they have not been through it. It is the most heart wrenching experience I have gone through. My kids had a hard time at first dealing with it. It was hard to explain to them what had happened. We just told them that the baby had died in my tummy. It was very hard. They still ask me questions and still say they wish the baby was still in my tummy. It breaks my heart cause I do too.

I'm slowly getting back to myself but do think that I will never forget this baby that didn't even have a chance. I will always love my baby.

Marian






there is hope

after getting pregnant at 16 i thought it was so easy and when i conceived the second time i was over the moon. i didnt realise things went wrong. at 6 weeks i went to hospital with pains. tests showed i had lost the baby too small to see by scan. i was heartbroken. its the dream you lose and it is just like losing someone you love.

it took 5 months to fall again and it was scary. my son was born 8 wks prem and i nearly died it was terrifying. i will never have another although i would love one. for me the risks are too great. i am so grateful for my kids even though they drive me mad and i wish all luck out there.

it can happen and when it does it feels like a miracle.

debs







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