Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.


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My Hope


I found out i was pregnant on 25th June, i was so happy, and also my fiance. We were so careful, he would disallowed me to eat certain thing and i was already starting taking pregnancy milk. Just i was on my 1st appointment to do ultrasound, the 1st word i heard from the doctor was "Yes, you have baby" but a few seconds later he said "It's not good, the baby has stop growing, we have to take it out". I was super happy then suddenly burst out in tears. Till now i am still crying and have to make a hard decision, have to take it out. Eventhough it is still small, but still my baby, already a part of our family. So we decided to name it HOPE. Even though we lost our HOPE but we still can see hope everywhere. HOPE will always be our little angel, our little baby. Papa and Mama will love you always...

Amelia






Sadness

It was such a exciting time when i found out i was pregnant dec. 15 2008 but sadly i miscarried dec 22 2008 i did'nt even get a chance to bond with my baby to see the heart beat or anyhting but now im pregnant again found out june 19 2009 im 10 weeks and so excited i also have a 4 year old who i love dearly.

Florance






incomplete miscarrige

ive only just sufferd a incomplete miscarrige, i found out wen i had my dating scan that i had lost my baby, this cut me up into a thousand pieces i had to go to hospital for some tests and a re scan but it was the same thing my baby had died, i had to go back in the next day for a d&c nw its over i don't no how to feel or what to do, im finding it so hard to cope with so is my husband. I don't really have any one else to talk to as peopleare always saying its my fault and oh well u still got jess, which is my only child and they always say oh well just have another one and get over it cause its only a miscarrige, this is really getting me down and im getting so depressed i only came out of hospital today 14/7/09 from having the op and i just don't no were to turn.

hollie osborne






Aisha - Our little angle

We had tried for 4 months to get pregnant, and it finally happen. We found out we were pregnant on the 03rd of January 2009. We cried and hugged and there were no words to express our happiness. I had 5 months of happiness and then it was over. On 19th April i started bleeding early morning. I was getting ready to go to work. I called my husband who already left for work.

We went to the hospital and shown to ER. The doc said to take complete rest and to do a ultrasound scan. The sad thing is they didnt do it in an emergency and told me to try to do the scan from outside the hospital. Anyway we went home, the doc had given me medication to take 3 times a day which would last for like 5 days. They did not tell me that my baby is dying. We went home and i stayed in bed the whole day.

Throughout the day i felt strong pulsing, it felt like that my baby was trying to push through me. I told myself not to panik but arounfd 10.00 i cannot ignore the strong pulsing coming from my vagina. So we went to hospital and then the Dr said that im in labour and the baby's feet has already come from from the cervix. We felt numb and we cried.

I gave birth to a dead baby the next morning at 05.30 and my husband just stared at me speechless. I have never ever saw him cry like that. He was broken so was I. But i want to be stronger for him. It was a girl. She was all formed, so perfect.

We named her Aisha. She was buried 09.30 in the morning in the cemetry.

I miss her so much. I miss having her inside me. I miss her kicks. I miss singing for her.

May Allah give me and everymother in this earth courage to cope with this kind of heartache. I know my little angle will be there waiting for us to join her in paradise.

Athiyya






Forever is a long Time

Worrying is something that I've always been good at. As a little girl I always worried about things that I had no control over. My parents bills, their arguments and being the perfect example for my younger siblings.

When I married my wonderful husband over 3 years ago, I was already aware of potential fertility problems. I had endometriosis and my periods were incredibly painful with no definite cycle to them.
On my doctor's advice we started trying to have a baby as soon as my first surgery was done to remove as much endo as possible from my uterus as possible. That surgery was done 2 months into our marriage and marked the beginning of 3 years of trying different fertility meds, 3 surgeries and thousands of dollars spent trying to get pregnant.
Finally, in March 2009, shortly after my last surgery, I finally became pregnant. I did not find out about the pregnancy until I was about 6 weeks along, and then only on my husbands insistence. I didn't want to stare at another negative pregnancy test like I had so many times before.
I started spotting lightly almost instantly and the first ultrasound showed an empty gestational sac in my uterus. Blighted ovum was thought to be probable.
I went for another ultrasound a week later and there he was, a precious baby with a beautiful heartbeat. My tiny miracle that we had waited so long for....
i continued to spot and I had another 2 ultrasounds at 8 weeks and 9 weeks and both showed a heartbeat. However, at 9 weeks I was told that the ultrasound showed a bleed in the placenta. The doctors said not to worry to much, only 1 in 800 babies is ever adversely affected by this and the complication would likely resolve itself.
We told our family and friends when I was 12 weeks and the next day we had another ultrasound that showed our baby had stopped growing and that his heart had stopped.
We were and still are devastated at the loss of our little baby. I had a D&C that of course was also complicated and when I came out of the anesthesia I could hear my baby crying for me and all I wanted to do was get up and search for him so that I could cuddle him till he stopped crying. I knew the crying sounds were a trick that my brain was playing on me, but I wanted this baby so badly. We had waited so long. For someone to say "you can just try again" didn't make much sense because it simply isn't that simple.
My due date was Dec 25, my favorite day of the year. For the first time in my life I dread that day. I am scared of the things that used to comfort me the most.
My D&C was only 3 weeks ago and life is still excruciatingly difficult. Life plays cruel games and 2 days after my D&C my breast milk came, reminding me once again in a very real way, of the baby that I will never hold.
Everyday tasks are so confusing when they used to be easy. Cooking and cleaning just doesn't work. I go to the freezer and I see the frozen hamburger, but I don't have a clue how to get from frozen to edible on the table.
I bled for over two weeks after the procedure and kept passing tissue and large clots, which by itself takes a toll on your body.
Father's Day was so hard for my husband, he wants so badly to be a daddy to a live baby and i can't help but feel responsible that he isn't. The anger that others around me are having healthy live babies can be an overwhelming feeling. I want to be a mother more than anything else in the world, and that just seems like distant dream. Now more than ever.
I ache to hold my little Madison Tate and I think and cry for him every day.
We had a beautiful memorial service for Maddie last Saturday with our closest family and friends around us. It was the only way that I could have some closure and wave goodbye to my precious baby.
Now we wait. Again. for something that may or may not ever be reality. I pray so hard that it will be.
When I get to heaven I hope the masses will stand back, because nothing will keep my from my children ever again. I will hold my babies so tightly and i will never have to let go again. For now though, I have to let Jesus and Heaven hold them until mommy and daddy can get there. They just have heaven before we do.

For those of you that walk this same painful road, remember that you had a hand in creating a tiny soul that will last forever. That has been a comforting thought to me and I stand in awe at the miracle of life and the joy that it can bring and the awful pain when that same life goes away.
To all the other mommies and daddies with angel babies, we ache and cry with you. We remember and grieve with you and if I could hug you all, I would.
In this life, our angel babies live on only in our hearts and by the pages of our imagination. Our angel babies are something we can never be...perfect and perfectly whole.
Life does go on and I will laugh again. I am the proud mother of my babies in heaven and they are never forgotten, but they are missed every single day.
Mommy loves you, babies! Hope to see you on a someday that isn't to far away.

Gloria







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