Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Beautiful Bella Rose
My husband and I had a really hard time getting pregnant with our son. It took two years of trying and fertility drugs, but he was healthy and i had a very uneventful pregnancy. When he was 10 months old, i got pregnant by 'accident'. we werent trying to get pregnant but we werent using and birth control. we both assumed it was so hard the first time that it would take effort for the next one! I took a pregnant test on a whim one day and was shocked it was positive! I had an ultrasound at 5 weeks to confirm it andone at 9 weeks to see the heartbeat. I rented a heartbeat doppler and listened to the baby's heart. I started feeling the baby flutter around 14 weeks. At 19 weeks we had the regular ultrasound where they check everything and according to the technician everything was great! That was a Thursday. My midwife called me on Monday Oct 27, 08 to tell me that the baby seemed too small and their wasnt very much fluid. Two days later i saw a perinatoligist who confirmed this and i was sent 8 hours away 5 days later so see other specialists. On Monday Nov3rd they told me my baby had a 5% chance of making it to delivery and of that 5% change only a 5% chance of making it. My husband and I made the horrific decision to induce labor. We travelled home and 5 days later again my the 8 hour trip to deliver our baby. On November 10th, 2008 at 11pm I delivered our beautiful baby girl, Bella Rose weighing 235g (just over half a pound) I was 22 weeks but she was about the size of an 18 weeker, way too tiny for them to be able to save. She was gorgeous with fingernails and even though it has been 11 days i can still close my eyes and feel her being born, so tiny, just slipping out. The doctors dont know why her growth was so stunted or why she had literally no fluid around her. I am so blessed to have my 15 month old little boy but i am so so sad that his sister wont get to grow up with him. I had imagined them being best friends so close in age sharing so many experiences throughout their life. I am hopeful we will get some sort of answer after all of the autopsy results but it is so hard because I want this baby, my daughter, my beautiful Bella. I am scared now that even if I do have other babies i will never get teh chance to mother a girl. I read somewhere that it isnt just the baby you lost that you are greiving, you are greiving the baby you were expecting to have. The healthy full term baby. I am completely feeling that.
For all fo you out there , i feel your pain and at the same time i still feel alone.
Normal is now going to be a new normal and i feel like i am faking being ok so that people dont have to worry about how i am doing. I try to cry in private and hold strong for my son. one day soon i would love to be pregnant again but i am scared i wont enjoy it because i will be so worried the whole time.
May you all find some sort of peace to help you through this . Please take care of your selves
Is there hope after 3 miscarriages?We are planning to start a family. My wife ended up having 3 miscarriages in a row. All this happened in a span of 1.5 years. The first pregnancy lasted for 10 weeks , Fetal Heart rate was normal prior to the miscarriage day. The second pregnancy lasted for 6 weeks before ending up in a miscarraige. The third pregnancy lasted for 9 weeks (fetal heart rate was normal) before ending up in a miscarriage. My wife has thyroid problems but was under medication during all the pregnancies. Her blood type is Rh negative.
First pregnancy - 10 weeks/ May 2007
Second pregnancy - 6 weeks/July 2008
Third pregnancy - 9 weeks/Nov2008
My wife's age: 27yrs
We are completely devastated and still recuperating from our loss. What kind of tests we should undergo before trying for the next one or should we even try for next one? I dont want my wife to go through this one more time. If anyone has success stories please share and help us out.
im so confusedI just found out that i have had a miscarriage. I already have i child an my boyfriend has2 he has always told me that right now is not the best time to have a baby an that we should wait an i agreed till now. THis has made me start thinking an i dont know if i should be happy because this is not what he wanted right now or upset cuz maybe i want it now...for some reason i dont know how i should feel...I do want another baby now an i dont want to wait an maybe this was a sign for me to try to have another child...i dont know what to say to him an i cant just forget about it an put it on the back burner!! help please!!
Depressed after miscarriageHi,
I am currently experiencing a fairly severe depression. I married in the summer and a week after the wedding (where we announced I was pregnant) I lost the baby. I have not copes well with this and now it is dark and the combination of SAD and the miscarriage are getting to be too much. I feel like I am weak if I give in to it but I am treating my husband and myself badly and I don't know what to do.
Our Angel, KailaOn July 25, 2008, our angel Kaila, quietly made her entrance and departure in this world. I was 23 weeks pregnant. My husband and I have been married for 14 years and never thought that we would become parents.
Well, on March 13th, I found out that we were pregnant. It was a huge surprise and we were extremely excited. The pregnancy appeared to be going fine until the beginning of my second trimester when I found out that I had gestational diabetes. I was prescribed insulin and given a diet plan. My blood sugar was under control so I thought that the worst was over..... was I wrong!
My 19th week of pregnancy, my husband and I went in for an ultrasound and that was the day that we found out that the baby we were convinced was a boy was indeed a girl! At the end of the ultrasound, we were told that I needed to get to the hospital right away because my cervix was very short. We immediately drove to the hospital were a cerclage was placed so that I would not dilate too soon and to help prolong the pregnancy. I was released from the hospital the following evening with weekly followup appointments to monitor my cervix. I was also placed on strict bedrest.
I returned to the hospital one week later because I felt pain and pressure. I was observed and sent home and told not to worry that this was normal.
On July 23rd, I woke up in pain and once again felt a lot of pressure. I contacted my Dr. who once again sent me to the hospital. Once again I was observed, however, this time I was asked if I was feeling like I had the flu. I said "no" and asked "why". The nurse informed me that I had a low grade fever and an increased heart rate. Not knowing exactly what that meant, I took her advice and was sent home after receiving Motrin. The next morning I had a Dr's appointment so I did not worry.
On July 24th, I went to my Dr as planned and advised her of my visit to the hospital the previous evening. She appeared to have no idea. By the way, I was being seen by several Drs. My OB and a team of perinatalogists.So at this appointment I was seeing the perinatalogists and was seeing that specific Dr for the first time. There are 17 Drs in that practice and went against my better wishes by working with them. Anyway, I had an ultrasound and the baby was doing fine. I thought that her head was very low but I was told that everything was okay with the exception that my amniotic fluid was low so to discontinue the use of Motrin. I left the Dr's office feeling good that all was going to be well.
Later on that evening, I was at home relaxing and watching television when I felt a gush of fluid from between my legs. I knew that something was wrong but did not panic. I called my husband and he was home within 2 minutes. I contacted the perinatalogists and was on my way to the hospital within minutes.
When I got to the hospital, I was told that they will try to keep the baby in because her lungs were not fully developed and her chance for survival was little to none. Within 15 minutes everything changed. Instead, I was told that I had a fever and an increased heart rate. Remember, the day before, I had the same problems and was told that everything was okay. Now, this Dr, whom I never met before was telling me that those are two definite signs of an infection. I was then rushed into surgery to remove the cerclage. Within hours I was induced and getting ready to deliver.
It was the most surreal feeling when at 5:48 am on July 25th, that I gave birth to a beautiful, tiny baby girl. She looked just like her dad. She weighed 1lb 1oz. and was 11 inches long. She appeared healthy. I remember how still she was and asking the Dr if she was alive. As soon as I spoke, I saw her take a breath. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. We had family members in the room who all got a chance to hold her and tell her how much she is loved. The hospital chaplain came in and she got the chance to be baptized. Exactly, one hour later, at 6:48 am, my angel, Kaila quietly passed away in my arms.
We miss her so much. We are planning to continue our family but she will never be replaced. She is with us everyday, in our hearts and our thoughts.
I wanted to tell her story, because I want everyone to know that whenever you feel that something is wrong in your pregnancy, then most likely, something is really wrong. Please do not just trust your doctor to take care of it, ask as many questions as you like and get a second opinion if you need to. I later found out that my daughter's life may have been spared if I had gotten proper treatment on my previous visits to the emergency room.
Thanks for taking the time read Kaila's story and I pray that no one else will have to go through what I went through.
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