Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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Stella Jolie Walker


I was born into a family that needed work. Both my parents were married 3 times, they both had long records, and they both were drug addicts, drunks, and abusive. I was born in a state prison, my mom had been busted for doing drugs 3 weeks earlier. When my mom got out, she told my dad that he wasnt my dad, and 2 weeks later he killed her, and I was in foster care. I was bounced around from age 4 until age 15. I got into this weird family and they made their daughters work on the streets. I got pregnant and social services took me to a different family. This family is amazing. They provided me with everything I want my baby to have. I had my sweet baby girl on Valentines day, she's 9 months old. My foster family is watching her when Im at school and theyre great. I named my girl Stella Jolie because She is very cheerful and she's my little star. Also, from my experience being a foster child and now being adopted, I chose Jolie from Angelina. I gave my daughter my foster familys last name, as they are adopting me anyways. So Stella Jolie Walker she is.

Jana






mom of a preemie

hi im sara im 15 and i just had my beautiful son braidin. braidin was 3 months early.... i went into labor on a wednesday night and i had no idea i thought that i just had a bad back ache cuz everyone gets those when your pregnant. So the next morning i complained to my mom all day that my back hurt really bad and she said that i was ok and to just take some tylonal. so i took some and it didnt get any better later that night my friend and i were laying in bed talking and suddenly i felt like i wet myself. i started panicking cuz i was jus getting into the third trimester. my friend kept saying go tell ur mom and i was way to scared to. so finally i went and woke her up. my friends mom is a nurse at the hospital in are town so my mom called her and asked what we should do and she asked the doctor that was on duty and he said go to wausau which was about 45 mins away from where i live. megs( my friend) mom said that she would drive us to the hospital. i was having contractions that were about 10 mins apart. they hurt when they came but when they went i was laughing and having a good time with the girls. when we got to the hospital my doctor was waiting for us she took me straight into the room and had me change into a hospital gown and then checked me i was 3 centimeters dialated when she told me that i just bursted into tears. they started me on a bunch of meds to stop the labor. i was in the hospital for 2 days on saturday my contractions slowed down i was on bed rest. the doctor said that if the contractions stoped by the next day i could go home. the next day came around and i was barely having any and so the doctor came in and check to see if i was still dialated at 3 but when he was done checking i was now dialated at 5. he said that there was going to be a baby coming in the next few hours. i was so scared. at that point i wsa at 4 days of being in bed. yay me. later that night around 12:00 i felt like i needed to push. and another contration came so 5 mins later. i pushed for about 6 mins total and braidin came into the world breathing at 12:11 am sunday morning on August 31 2008 he was crying the doctors didnt expect him to. Braidin was 2lbs 2.5oz and 12.5 inches long. i saw him for maybe 5 mins then they rushed him to the NICU. i didnt get to see braidin til around 8 sunday morning. when i finally got to see him again i was so excited he was so small and beautiful. and the best part of it he was all mine. braidin was in the NICU for 10 weeks 7 of those week he was in a isolet, then he finally came home and he is now 5lbs 6oz. braidin means the whole world to me. i am not with braidins father anymore and leaving him was the best choice i ever made. we were together through my whole pregnacy and then after we broke up cuza the fact that he started doing drugs and ended up in jail again. I didnt want that in braidns life. which any good mom wouldnt. if he straightens up i will be more then happy to let him be apart of braidins life. braidin is now 2 and a half months old and he is doing wonderful. if i could go back and change everything that has happend i wouldnt at all. being a mom of a preemie is very hard i have to remeber to give him all of his med and hes on 10 of them he has to be woken up and fed and given his meds every 3 hours. i have a very long road ahead of me, but i can do it and i believe in all u other teen mommies too!! i love being a mommy.

sara






Two Babies At 17

I had alot of problems as a child. My mom and dad would fight all the time. My dad went to prison for murder when I was only 4 years old. Then my mommy got really bad on drugs. Me and my younger sister had to go live with my uncle, not realizing what was going on. As I got older I got into alot of bad habits.

I would sleep with different random guys. I knew that they were only using me but I wanted to feel accepted. Everyone of them that I had sex with, I would try and have a relationship with them, I guess to feel that void from my parents. They wouldnt do it. They only came around when they wanted to sleep with me or party.

Then I met this one guy. He was so sweet. I instantly fell for him. He treated me like a person and not a dog. He didn't use me. I guess we were together for about 8 months when everything fell apart. I was only 15 and he was 21.

I got into some trouble at school. I was a sophomore. And it was in december. we all decided to skip school. A lot of my friends were drinking. I honestly was not. Needless to say, we got caught. And our high school principal took us to court in february. the judge sent me to a place in ashland. It was a boot camp called Ramey Estep. I didnt get to talk to my boyfriend at all. Didn't see him. I wasnt even allowed to have my mom tell him that I loved him. Then about 5 months after i had got there I found out that I was pregnant. It took along time for me to realize it because I never had periods, or didnt gain any weight. When I found out I was almost 6 months. I didn't get to call and tell him or anything. A few days after I found out that I was pregnant a social worker came and got me and took me to a place in Lexington called Florence Crittenton for teenage mothers. Still didnt get to tell him. On October 18 2006 my first baby came into my life. He was so beautiful and i loved him more than anything. He was my world. Finally when he was about 4 months old a social worker came and got me and the baby and brought us two hours back to hazard so that my baby could have a DNA test. I seen the daddy sitting there as soon as i walked through the door. My heart felt like it fell to my knees. He didn't speak. I wanted so bad to go up to him and kiss him and hug him as hard as I could. I didnt though. He sat across the table from us and just stared at both of us. When they got done, he got up and walked out. about 3 weeks later the DNA came back positive. He was his dad. It was kinda late one night he called me at Florence Crittenton. He told me that him and his ex girlfriend had gotten back together and that they were expecting a baby too. I sat there and didnt speak. I cried so hard that day, He told me that everything would work out when I came back home. When Kaleb was 9 months old a social worker came and got us and took us to a foster home in hazard, were i was from. The people that we lived with were really nice. And the first thing that i thought was to call the dad. He talked to me every now and then for about a month. He said that he didnt know if he could ever be with me again because i was wild. Which I was pretty out of control when we moved out. The people that I lived with let me do whatever I wanted.

Then when it was the weekend of Kalebs first birthday he called me up and started this i love you and want to be with you forever, he asked me and Kaleb to come and stay the weekend with him. So of course, loving him as much as i did at the time i went. That was probably the best weekend of my life. I mean i thought that our family was together you know.

After that weekend, things got worse. I went out with some friends and he promised me that he would never talk to me or try and have a relationship with me again. When I really didn't do anything. It was me and a couple of girls. About a month later I found out that I was pregnant again. at this time i was about 17 i think. I told him that i was pregnant and he said well its not mine. I was a senior in high school, already had one baby and was pregnant in foster care. when the social worker found out I lied and told them that he wasent the dad. So that the lady that i was living with wouldnt get in troouble.

They wanted to send me to some other place in Lousiville for teenage parents, I absolutely refused. They let me go and live with the lady that i was living withs aunt. It was just down the road.. I graduated high school in may 08. I was 9 months pregnant. When I had jacob of course his daddy denied him. But in the end he was his as well. I had jake on June 20th 2008. i finally realized what I was doing. I had lost RD for good. He didnt want to be with me. So i gave up on him. Now he calls me all the time and tries to talk to me. I wont have anything to do with him. I am raising my children alone. Im 18. I go to school full time at the college and i work full time at the psychiatric hospital in hazard. I think that Im doing really good right now. and i have thought alot about it. And for right now thats what i need. To be a single parent. I can take care of my precious babies alone. There daddy sees them once a week for an hour supervised because of some trouble that he got into. So I have finally overcame that burden that I was a single teenage parent of two, stopped feeling sorry for myself and started trying to do something for both me and my children. I hope that everyone enjoyed my story.

Brittany






August, Myla, and Wyatt

I got pregnant at 17. It wasn't planned, and Zack and I were irresponsible. We weren't even together. Except once. Which is how I got pregnant. I found out when I was only 9 weeks along, I am happy I found out that early, it was good for me to have the time to deal with it on my own. I knew all my options but I never wanted an abortion. It's not that I was excited to be a mommy and have a little person who would love me, it was more like if I was going to grow this being inside me for 9 months that made her my responsibility and I was going to be responsible for it after it came out, I couldn't give my baby up for adoption after 9 months of having it with me constantly. I told my best friend first. And then she told her sister Alexis, who is a teen mom. And honestly, even though at that point everything was great and I was calm, I needed Alexis later. I told my parents and told them my plan and after a couple of days things were okay, they were excited to be grandparents. I had to tell Zack, and that was hard, but I got through it. We were out of high school so I didn't have the social aspect to worry about. Zack and I decided to just continue being friends and he would help raise the baby sending money and taking the baby once in awhile. I was happy with that, I would get sleep and my baby would have a father. I hit 7 months and got braxton hicks, my legs were swollen, I had many other problems and I was put on bedrest. I searched for baby names during that time, I couldn't think of anything that wasn't the name of somebody I knew. I got preeclampsia at 36 weeks and they induced me. After 17 1/2 hours of hard labor I finally gave birth to a baby girl, Myla Juliet. She takes my breath away when I look at her, I can't believe she's mine. When Myla was 5 she started kindergarten and I met Nick. We started dating 2 years later and I graduated university at 24. I got married to Nick and we had a little boy, August Elliott, 2 years later. August is 4 now and Myla is 12. She sees her dad on weekend, she talks to him on the phone all the time, and she spends 4 weeks with him in the summer, visiting her other grandparents and family. August and Myla have a pretty big age gap but it's good, Myla is old enough to understand and she is a great big sister to August. Nick and I didn't plan on having any more childrena but I felt like we weren't complete, so we had another baby, a boy, Wyatt Nicholas, 7 weeks ago. We are loving having 3 children, it's wonderful and August loves to help me take care of Wyatt. We have decided to have another baby, we're hoping for a girl, in about 2 years. Her name is already chosen, Deena Zoey. I can honestly say I have never regretted keeping Myla, best decision of my life.

Zoey Nicole Brewster






hurt

One would think that after everything that i have seen, and everything i have been through in my life, that i would not fall for someone so easily. my son's father is 19, i am 18. we dated for a few years on and off, but never went past holding hands and "i love you's". i had been seperated from him due to a move that caused him to go to a different school. when we finally got back together, which was around christmas of 2007, things were completely different, and he was ready to move faster. i have a fear of being alone, or displeasing someone, i felt that it would be selfish of me to tell him no, after all he had been there for me when no one else was. in february, i found out i was pregnant, and i told him, however i had not told anyone else. my adoptive parents did not know. i hadn't spoken to or seen him in about 3 weeks, so on march 6th, i went to his apartment after calling him every minute of the day. he had left and not wanted me to know. everyday now since march 6th, i have emailed him and tried to make things right with him, and he finally emailed me back on august 25th. he said that i am going to have to do this on my own. he hurt me to the point where i almost regretted my pregnancy, but i am 39 weeks along now, and i love my son with all my heart and soul, and i will make up for his father not being around.

kayla







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