Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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Mommy wasn't a name I planned on having


I met Nick when I was 18...I was working at a gas station, and he was a regular there. We started hanging out on a consistent basis, and in about 2 weeks time, we were pretty much inseperable. After about 2 months of being together, it became apparent that Nick wasn't the perfect guy I thought he was. He had a horrible temper, and he was very controlling. I put up with it, though, because I was just...in awe of him, and the fact that he was mine. About 8 months into our relationship, I tried to break up with him. I just couldn't take his anger anymore, so one night while we were driving around in his car, I tearfully confronted him and told him how hurt I was and that I couldn't be with him anymore. He started crying and said he was sorry and that he would change, and he seemed sincere so I decided to give him another chance.
We always had sex without protection, using the pullout method. I had suspected that I was unable to get pregnant, because my period was always off whack and just strange altogether. One morning in April 2006, though, about 2 weeks after my 19th birthday, I was smoking a cigarette, and I suddenly started gagging. My period wasn't even late, but I KNEW right then, at that moment, that I was pregnant. I went out and bought a pregnancy test, and it confirmed what I already knew....I was expecting. I was terrified, I had never planned on having children. I was one of those girls who never had any kind of maternal instincts whatsoever. All of my girlfriends had babies by then, and I promised myself I would never fall privy to the same thing, especially since I was in a rocky relationship.
For the first month, (and I'm ashamed to admit this), I was considering abortion. Then I realized how selfish that was, and that I could bless a childless couple with a miracle, so I stared thinking about adoption. Nick was extremely against that idea...although he hadn't dismissed the abortion option. I was going to the doctor regularly, and I think it was the first ultrasound that changed my mind. I started thinking, just maybe I could keep my baby. Then the first time I felt her kick, it was a done deal.
I breezed throught my pregnancy, having only minimal morning sickness, and I was able to continue working with no problem. I gained 55 pounds, but I only weighed 100 to start with, so it wasn't a health issue. I liked my pregnancy for the most part, and it went so smoothly I couldn't believe that anyone ever complained about it. When I was 41 weeks pregnant, I woke up in the middle of the night with contractions. I called the doctor, and he said to time them and come to the hospital when they were about 5 minutes apart. At 1:00 that afternoon, I went to the hospital, and by 6:51 pm, my beautiful daughter, Laila Nicole was born, weighing 7 pounds, 8 ounces. The labor had gone so well...epidurals really are a magic invention. Everyone was surprised that I had done it so easily for a first time mom. Nothing was easy about the day emotionally, though. Nick was there in the delivery room, but he made things worse, as his temper blew up over the fact that he couldn't stay for the epidural. He took his anger out on me, and while I was still in the painful throes of contractions from back labor, his mom was the one comforting me, not him at all.
Regardless, it was the happiest day of my life, and I was in awe that I had actually created a person. After Laila was born, we all came back to my parents house, so I could be on familiar ground while I adapted to being a mother. Nick and my mom did not get along, and after a while, tensions ran high, and he left. I told him it was over....Laila was about 2 months old. We ended up getting back together, and I just chalked it up to me overreacting due to postpartum depression. When Laila was about 6 months old, we broke up again. I was sick of him being so controlling....he would tell me I couldn't even take my daughter around my best friend, just because he didn't like her. While we were broken up, I had to beg him for money for Laila....and he seemed to have no interest in her. He went 2 weeks without seeing her, and it didn't really bother him. I was sickened by him at this point, but unless we were together, he wouldn't give me anything for her, so for Laila's sake, I got back with him.
We've been doing this on and off for about a year now. Laila is 17 months old, and growing up so fast I can't get a grip on it. I'm overwhelmed by my endless love for her. I never knew anything could feel like this...especially since I never wanted kids. I can't imagine my life without her adorable little face, or her kisses at random times. She's quite a handful, but I wouldn't trade her for the world. I consider myself a single mom for the most part, because I know that it's not long before Nick and I are done for good. His temper has done nothing but worsen, and I'm terrified he may one day start taking it out on Laila. I've always heard the Lord works in mysterious ways, but I never took it to heart until He gave me the daughter I never knew I wanted. Hopefully He's still looking out for me when I get myself away from Nick as well. Good luck to all you single mothers out there...you can do it, I know this....as long as you have your child, nothing can stand in your way.

Brittany






im 12 and pregnat wat do i do?

i am pregnant and twelve and im scared. who do i tell, my mom? i dont know im scared!!! i hate this, should i give it away or abortion, i dont know wat to do? help me some body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i also think what should i do about the father? he wants it but i dont know what to do. his parents know but not mine. his dad does not want me to keep him or her so i guess i have to think about it well i have to go bye

gloria pacer






Proud mommy

when i first became pregnant with my fist baby i was fresh outta high school. i had big dreams. I had been talking to a guy that i had met through friends, he was really nice and easy to get along with. I knew that he had a baby on the way already, but we were strictly suppose to be just friends, but on my 18th birthday things went a lil farther, a month later i found out i was 5 weeks pregnant. First thing that came to my mind was abortion. I knew that his son was due any day now and i really didn't want anything more with the guy. but when i heard the baby's heartbeat, i fell in love. i just couldn't do it. Well he decided that he was going to make things work with the mother of his son. Which left me alone throughout the whole pregnancy. He was cold hearted to me, he denied her, he was emoitionally abusive. On March 12, 2005 i gave birth to a baby girl, Nevaeh Nikole Sales weighing in at just 5lbs 5 oz. She is now three and rarely sees her father. Its been a bumpy road. But she makes it worth while. I moved one eventually and Met a guy, he was a co-worker, and i enjoyed his company. Well as time went by and our friendship grew my feelings also grew. We ended up sleeping together on many occasions and i ended up pregnant in October of 2007. i really thought he was the one. He is older than me by 7 seven years Nevaeh loved him and everything seemed right until one night in November i found out that he has also got my best friend pregnant prior to us getting together. it was the hardest thing to forgive him but i did and two weeks later he broke up with me. Since then he hasn't really been part of my life. I am currently 28 weeks and he still hasn't heard his son's heat beat. He lives his life as if i dn't exist. he comes around once in a while. Doesn't call. Looks like i repeated history. Dn't get me wrong i love my kids and dn't regret either one of them i just wish i would have been smarter. Im now a single mom once again and its depressing and embarassing. but i gotta be strong for them. So to all u single moms out there. keep ur heads up. Things will get better for us.

mandie






pregnant cheerleader and unhappy baby daddy

well i was always the good girl. I never did drugs or drank. In my junior year of high school i even made my schools cheer squad.And i was with my boyfriend of 4 years.i was so happy i thought i had everything.

in october 2007 we had sex after his schools dance and we thought nothing will happen cause we almost never used protection and nothing ever happened. later that month we had broken up. then suddenly at cheer practice i started feeling sick and one of my friends took me to the bathroom and i started vomiting. I thought i was just tired.And i felt really sick again at a football game while i was cheering.

I started thinking oh my god i think im pregnant. i asked one fo my friends to get me a home test. and i did two of them and they both came out positive.i was in shock so i decide to tell my ex and he thought i was lying to him so i could i get get back with him.so one day we had an appointment and he came with me . he then tells me that he wants to be in that babys life and he wants to get back with me.but the thing was he had an other girlfriend. so later that day when the clinics test confirmed that i was really pregnant he broke up with his other girlfriend.

months go by and everything is going fine hes supporting me and we finally told my mom. at first she was mad but now she accepts it. and right now im currently 31 weeks and i'm having a baby boy.but recently my boyfriend is acting really different . he rather be with his friends and when we do talk on the phone its like he doesnt care and its like i have to force him to talk to me. and im really tired of it and he complains about how im annoying and basically tells that hes tired of me.

so i dont know wat to do should i leave him after 4 years and pregnant with his son or stay with him but when hes not even happy with me. im really afraid to do everything on my own. i thought he was going to be there with me. so i dont know wat to do. all i want is my son and im impatiently waiting 2 months for him to come already. even though some people stopped talking to me and even my cheer squad act like they dont know me. so i guess i have to put my head up.

Gaby






mom at 15

Well I was 15 when I found out I was having my first child. my boyfriend and I had been best friends since we were born. our parents were best friends so we always truly knew at some point in time we would end up together. when I was 12 we started becoming boyfriend and girlfriend and just 3 days before my 15 birthday I found out I was at least 4 weeks pregnant. both shay and I had big dreams. I wanted to be a doctor and he wanted to be a lawyer but we both knew that this would stand in the way but I was so sure I was going to make it to my dream. at 5 months I had to be put on bed rest due to being high risked. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. shay was by my side. he was too home schooled so he could spend every minute he could with me. he soon moved in with me so he could be with me at the time I went in to labor. at 7 months I had a baby girl. she weighed 3lbs 7oz and the doctors told us that she may not make it. her lungs were not fully developed but Isabella had other plans. she was truly a fighter. 2 months later she came home. she is now 6 in half months old weighing 14 pounds. she is now caught up with her age weight. And we found out just two days ago I was pregnant again and shay and I plan on getting married. But no matter what life throws at you just keep going for your dreams. shay and I are still reaching for ours

Anna







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