It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.
My Pregnancy PART 1
Well it was just before new years in 2006 and I met a very sexy, very nice guy Scott. We met out at a club one night and one thing lead to another.
We spent the next few weeks casually seeing each other, it wasn't long after that I thought I was pregnant (I have always been on time with my periods, and was 12 days late). I went over to my best friend Tash's place and did a home pregnancy test (she's has 3 kids of her own and was very supportive). I was heaps scared of telling my family because I knew it would disappoint them.
So the test was positive, the next day once telling my mum she came with me to the doctors I then had a blood test which confirmed I was pregnant, just over 6 weeks (Feb 2007). I then decided to tell Scott about it all, the first thing he said to me was "SO UR GETTING AN ABORTION" (I am and have totally been against abortions; itís just a personal choice, nothing against those who don't or canít find any other option)
Well Scott came to see me a few weeks later, suggesting we become boyfriend and girlfriend and I was against the idea if it was just cos I was having his baby, so he left and didn't want to be apart of it.
It has now been a few months since then. Iím just over 5 months (may 2007) and loving every minute of feeling the baby moving around, Its a shame that Scott doesn't want to be a part of it, my baby is going to have a great life my family were shocked at first but are very supportive and I couldn't ask for anything more.
I recently lost my job as a 3rd yr apprentice chef and was made redundant, but living with my sisters and them helping and supporting me has been great I can't thank them enough!!!
My baby is due on 20th September 2007 and I can't wait Iím so excited about meeting my beautiful baby and spending our lives together...
For those in the same situation: Hang in there. I mean, itís been hard and my family have been awesome I have felt heaps lonely but always had them there to talk to, it may seem like its hard and there is no solution but then something great happens and it all works out.
Thanks for listening to my story (I will be posting my birth story when bubs arrives too- this was written 17/05/07)
Not So Bad After allI was 16 when I received the news I was to be a mommy. It all started when my period didn't came normally. For the whole month of May I was bleeding lightly but it was not my period. My mom was concerned and in a way was suspicious that I was pregnant. She took me to the doctor and what do you know, I was indeed pregnant. My world came tumbling down and the worst part was that I let my mom down.
When the doctor told me the news, the first thing that came out of my mouth was "I don't want it." My mom told me that I was to have the baby no matter what. I was terrified; I didn't know what was next.
My relationship with my boyfriend was not going well, we were often fighting and it got to the point were he was physically abusive. I didn't wanted to go with him but it was the only choice. The same day I found I was pregnant, he picked me up and I moved in with him (he lived with his brother). By the way my boyfriend was 19 at the time.
He was happy about the baby, but I was not that excited because in the first place he had always forced me to have sex and in the second place I didn't wanted to drop out of school. So I decided to keep on studying and he supported me.
A few months later my boyfriend and I moved in with my mom (personal problems with his brother and wife). Things were getting pretty bad; he became more abusive verbally and physically.
On November 24, 2003 I had my gorgeous baby who we named her Karla. I was the happiest mother! Time past, I kept going to school, taking care of my husband and daughter. The relationship was the same, I was hit often and he always had something bad to say about me.
I graduated High School and received a Scholarship (I has always been a good student). So decided to further my studies. I started school at a university with the goal of becoming an accountant. From that point on things got worst. Living with him was living in hell. He was an excellent father but the worst partner.
So one day, I decided to end that relationship (by the time I graduated High School we were living in our own home). I moved in with my mom, I found a job. The first steps were hard but all worth it.
Today I'm a full time mother, college student, and secretary. I adore my baby and she has been my inspiration to keep on going. Itís a hard path but it has helped me to mature.
Girls think before you act. Having a baby is the most wonderful experience but it brings a lot of responsibilities. Sometimes we didn't even realize it.
Baby at 15I am an only child and my parents are career people...when I was 12 my parents left me with a business friendís family and I stayed with them more than I was at my own home, becoming more part of their family than mine. I helped with their two small children and went everywhere with them, outings holiday vacations etc, and wanted for nothing.
For my 14th birthday the family (Sue, David and the 2 children) took me on a trip to Fiji and we stayed in a wonderful resort with pool, spa and sandy beach. During this trip which was to last 2weeks, but after 2-3 days of all day fun frolicking about in the warm sun etc Sue became ill and had to go into hospital in Suva about an hours drive from the resort... she had an appendix problem that ended up with her having surgery and a 3 week hospital stay due to complications, this left David and me to look after the children and when we would go visit the hospital I would take the children for walks and amuse them while David was with Sue.
Late each day we would return to the resort and play in the pool then eat and get the children settled down for the night, followed by David and I spending some time in the spa pool or just lounging around.
David would often give me a big hug and thank me for my help with the children... it was the normal thing to do this even when we were back home, but one night it just seemed to be more feeling in the embrace and he kissed me...I loved it and he kissed me long and deep...this sent floods of feelings through my body and after some fooling around we had sex... my first time and it was wonderful there in the warmth of the evening...afterwards I showered we kissed again and I went to bed.
Later David came into my room fondled me and we had sex again then he carried me into his room and bed. So for the next 12 or so days we had sex and fondling when ever there was a chance... after the first night I said to David I was not on the pill but he said he had the "kindly" cut after their second child was born so not to worry. He showed me a line on his scrotum and said that was where the cut was... I believed him!! He bought me wonderful gifts of lacy underwear and perfume, jewelry etc.
Any way when Sue came out of hospital we flew home and a few days later when I came home from school Sue was having a bad day with the children and she made the comment "thank goodness there was only 2 children" and I commented that I guessed that with the "kindly Cut" David had that would remain so... Sue replied, "David get cut" no way he is too chicken for that!! OMG and I have missed my period so I told David.Öhe said that was normal with all that had happened and not to worry.
Next month and no sign so I am now in trouble... David said he would take me to Australia to get it "all sorted". Another month and still in trouble...more and more excuses from David and it was time to tell someone...
David and I had this great long talk and he said if I named him as the father (and he was) he would lose his wife and family, his job, and go to jail for sex with a minor!!! He promised me all sorts of things and all the help in the world as he wanted "us" to have "our baby"... my parents were away overseas again and I was in big trouble. So I had no option but go along with his advice.
I think for a long time Sue thought I was just filling out as a teenager but then she came into the bathroom one day and could see I was pregnant. What a commotion...I went along with the "big secret" between David and me and Sue believed it...
My parents arrived home and another huge yelling scene and I moved back to my parentís house and in due course my baby arrived... David and Sue and my parents went their separate ways and of course all David's promises came to nothing.... I met him one day while out walking with my baby and he was all over me and wanted to strike up again but no way!! He gave me a cuddle and said I had done a wonderful job of producing "our" baby and he said he would love to take baby and me back to Fiji again for another reunion... what a creep...
At 17 I met this nice guy Brian and we married just after my 18th birthday and in no time I was pregnant again, but he got into drugs and ended up in jail.... so now I am a solo mother of two children, divorced and trying to get my life together again. No more mistakes... I hope!!
Life Just Isn't FairI am 13; I'm not exactly what you could call a "good" kid. I drink and I swear, and well that's about it.
One night during a festival (which was held around the block from my house) I got drunk, and that changed everything. Well, me and my friends were hanging out, but then they had to go, because it was getting late. Well, two guys (Kevin, and Thad) came to my house cause I still wanted to party. We started drinking, and the last thing I remember was my 3rd beer and Kevin and Thad on the couch. Neither of them were good kids.
Kevin is 14 and he has a month old daughter. He refuses to see her, but Iím friends with her mother so I often help. And Thad (13) well, Thad was a great kid until he started smoking weed. He was a "druggie" and he liked that nickname. I still hung out with them because Kevin was a good kid, and Thad was really nice when he was sober.
Well a month passed after that night, and I missed my period. Then 2 months passed still no period. I was throwing up ALOT and occasionally Iíd have really bad stomach cramps. Well, I knew they were the signs of pregnancy, but it didn't make sense I thought I was still a virgin. Well, one night I went to a Planned Parenthood building. I found out that I was 2 months pregnant. At that moment I knew what happened. I stormed into Thad's house (Kevin was there too) I started screaming "What did you guys do to me!?!" I think I scared Thad cause he just sat there, but Kevin came up and tried to act like he had no clue what was going on. Then after more swear words, I got the answer I was looking for. Kevin told me that when I was drunk they both started coming onto me and I went along. So they both had sex with me. I cried. I knew that was the answer, but to hear him say it, well it hurt, so I cried.
One of the worst parts was that I wasn't sure who the father was. They said they both used condoms, but I knew they didn't. They both were pretty embarrassed, and they were very sorry, and they supported me through the pregnancy. I knew Iíd lose one of them once I found out who the father was, but I was just happy they didn't leave yet. I was praying it was Thad's kid because Thad would help with the kid, and actually be more than an a "friend" through my babies life, but Kevin, I was worried about, I thought he would probably help with the baby, but not be there all the time. I wanted my baby to have a father.
They both knew that I wouldn't give up my baby (I was a motherly type). They didn't even ask me to get an abortion or adoption. That made me happy. Well, when I was 8 months pregnant Thad's sister started getting in the picture. (We hated each other) She started saying that he was just saying it was his cause he pitied me. I knew it wasn't true. Thad and pity never existed. She started calling me a slut, and stuff, and to be honest it hurt me bad. Cause I was going to wait till marriage, and I was too drunk to put that law in motion.
Thad moved outta his mom's house (where his sister lived) and into his dads. (He was a block away from me) Kevin came to visit me everyday after his softball practice, and would bring me fruit! (I always craved fruit) Thad practically lived with me; every other night he spent the night at my house and when he didn't he'd be here at 10 a.m. and leave at 10p.m. I was happy that it was summer (the end of July) when my due date was because I wouldn't miss very much school. Well one night/ morning at 3 a.m. Thad was in the basement and I was upstairs I started getting really bad cramps and I went downstairs and told him. He quickly called a cab and I was on the way to the hospital. I had my daughter at 8:14 a.m. We (Kevin, Thad, and me) decided to name her Alanna.
We all had a list of 5 girl names and 5 boy names and we all had Alanna. I thought Iíd be able to tell who the father was when I saw her since Kevin was fully Mexican, but it was very hard to tell. We got a DNA test the next day and found out for positive it was Thad's. Kevin said that he would be "uncle" Kevin to her because he started it that night. Thad promised to be there for her...always. And he promised to quit smoking. Alanna is now 2 months old. I am going to school full time.
My older brother watches Alana during the day then Thad watches her from 3-5 (while I work) and I watch her from 5-7(while Thad works) and on Saturday Kevin watches her from 8-12 (me and Thad have a night of "freedom" as he puts it)
Life isn't fair, but sometimes it works for the good. In my case the good was that I got closer to Thad and we are going to get married a week after high school graduation.
Didn't Tell!!!!!!I was 14 when I found out that I was pregnant. I had just got out of the 8th grade. I was happy that I was going to be in high school!!! Then at the end of summer break I got pregnant.
I had met this boy at a park and we began to hang out and got close and then I gave in and then when school started I found out that I was pregnant and didn't tell anyone because I thought that they would think of me as a loser and see me different from all the other people. I tried to tell my parents but couldn't cause I was scared to tell them..........
So if you are pregnant tell some one close to you. Have a friend tell your parent if you are scared. Just tell someone.
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