Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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Tough Times


I am currently expecting my second child. In September I moved in with my unborn daughter's father, who asked me to give him another child (he has a son with his ex-wife). I was hesitant about creating a new life out of wedlock but he promised we would be married long before our baby was born, so I agreed because I also wanted another child very much (I have a 6-year-old daughter). I actually got pregnant on our first try and I was compleltey overjoyed when I saw 2 pink lines on the pregnancy test.

He seemed happy at first but as soon as my morning sickness hit, his actions toward me changed. I realized that he was the type of man who expected "his woman" to work, take care of the children, do every household chore, take care of him, and meet him at the door with a cold beer when he got in from work everyday, and wait on him hand and foot while he passed out in front of the t.v. every night. I even had to wake him up and make his lunch for work every morning at 3:45 a.m. I wasn't allowed to have friends anymore or see my family very often and I'm very close with my family so that hurt a great deal. He convinced me to sell my car and give him the money to save for a down-payment on another car. Shortly after doing this, my parents picked me up to take me to my niece's first birthday party. My ex refused to pick me up afterwards because he said he was "getting a feel for my family" and wanted to get their reaction to what he was doing to me (yes, I know now that he is completely crazy). I was devastated. I was only 8 weeks pregnant with his child and scared to death.

I remember crying and begging him to let me come back home and I couldn't understand why he wouldn't let me. All he would say was "not yet", "This is your fault" and "I won't tell you what you've done becuase you should already know." Two weeks later I went for my first prenatal appiontment and saw an ultrasound of a tiny image of what my Dr. called "my baby bean" because she was about the size of a bean. We could already see her little heart beating. That image helped me through MANY difficult times that were caused by my unborn daughter's (Emily) father.

It has been very difficult, especially not having a car anymore and him refusing to give me my money back so that I could buy one, but I got through all of those hard times without him and I'm thankful that he showed me how cruel and crazy people really can be. Now that I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant, have bought another car, and have purchased everything that our daughter will need (with no help from him), he wants me to come home. There is absolutely no way that's going to happen. I almost considered it for a few weeks because all the way through this pregnancy he has told me that the minute my daughter is born, he will take custody of her because he "knows people in high places" who will help him legally take her from me. I was actually stupid enough to believe that at first. Now I know better.

To anyone who has ever gone through a stressful pregnancy on your own and made it through without breaking down, you have my utmost respect. And for anyone who considers going back to a jerk who treats women like a possession instead of like a human being, just because you're pregnant with his child, DON'T DO IT. It has been hard to go through this experience alone, both financially and emmotionally, but I've almost made it through and I'm so much stronger now because of it. In just a few more weeks I will have a precious daughter, and my 6-year-old daughter will have a precious sister. We will be fine without him because we love each other so very much.

Good luck to all of you single mother's out there. Stay strong and remember that our little bundle's of joy are depending on us to get them started on their way to a healthy, happy life.






all is well

I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and was browsing this site. luckily I have the most amazing man to stand by me.

I do however have a best friend who did not have the pleasure. He would go out on the town and leave her alone at home just days before her due date, and was even caught cheating on her. He also could not make it to the birth of the baby as he was watching rugby at the local pub...

I had the privilege of being there and helping as much as i could. I just want all single moms to know that you are better off without the worries of a man who does not deserve to be a father anyway. You are never alone and i have the greatest respect for all of you who have had to go through this.

And remember... we don't need a man... we just prefer to have one...

liezl






single mom with twins

hi my name is Chancess and I am 16 and a single mom with twins. i have a boy and a girl they are now 3 months.

I won't say it is easy for me trust me when I say it is the hardest thing I have done in my whole life. I am now starting to get sleep again which I thank God for but other than that I am happy. my mom is there for me. it seems like she is the only one because when i was 7 months pregnant my ex-boyfriend left me and said he wanted nothing to do with me and his mother and father say thay think it's not his but one thing that I know is I don't care who dont want to be there for my babies. as long as thay have me to depend on.

and another thing I know is I have to bend my self backwords to the point where I am just too tired to even sleep. its so stressful getting up every morning getting them ready for the day, then we go to school. after school I take them to my sister's house and then i'm on my way to work.

get there about 3:35. get off about 9:30 get on the bus to my sister house then my mom pick us up. go home amd start all over again. the only thing I look forward to is the week end and some time I work on those.

to all I hope for is that my kid's daddy get into their life befor he miss out on two wonderful kids and I know it sound like im complaining but when I think about every thing I will never trade it for the world because they are my world.

chancess






I can't believe I'm alone

I am 7 months pregnant with my 4th child.My husband had an affair when I was pregnant with my third child, and we worked through it together and decided, although it was painful, to stick together for our kids. He promised he was going to be different forever.

I found out in February (I was 5 months pregnant) that he has cheated again. I'm completely destroyed. Getting out of bed in the morning is hard. I have 3 sons and am now expecting a daughter. My heart aches at going through this alone again.

My baby girl will be here in July, and I am slowly picking up the pieces of my broken life. It seems impossible, and I am so scared.

Melissa Talley






Truly a Singls mom

I was truly a single mom, I had a short lived relationship (6 weeks) with a guy, and i'm being nice by calling him a "guy". Low and behold, a few weeks after I ended it with him, he was VERY violent, I found out I was pregnant.

I told his Uncle because I couldn't get hold of him and his uncle offered me 600 dollars for an abortion. I took the money and bought a crib and baby clothes. It's about the only thing that him or his family has EVER given me. I know it's awful that i lied his uncle to believe that I was going to have an abortion, but I couldn't bring myself to do it and later denied his uncle ever giving me money. The crib was beautiful though, lol.

Anyway, I moved in with my parents for the term of my pregnancy and watched as I got bigger and bigger, the time came to have my little bundle of joy, and it was just my mom and my nanny. It was the long weekend in may at that time and the hospital was empty. It was an excellent delivery.

I went home to my moms afer 3 days and decided that i couldn't live there anymore after only 3 weeks and began looking for my own place. July 1st I moved out into my own place.. It was great, my mom and my nanny babysat for me for free and I worked. I didnt miss much of my daughter growing up being that I swear to God that she waited for me to get home to do her "firsts" of everything. it was GREAT.. I wouldn't change that time in my life for nothing.

I was a single mom till Carol Anne was 8 weeks, i met chrissy's dad and was only with him for 2 years, he was in love with him mom, i'm sure of it! and now.. they are 14 and 16 and i've been married to another man for almost 8 years and with him for 10.

I'm now expecting my 3rd. I had my tubes tied (clamped) to be sure I wouldn't get pregnant while I went back to University to get my nursing. I had them UN-done last November, and it's only taken 4 months to get pregnant, hopefully all will go well and this will be it ....

Good luck to all you single moms out there, I've been there and wouldn't take anything back if I was paid to ....

P.s: I was single for a good 5 years before i met my husband ....

Darlene







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