Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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Happiness


It all started when I met Peter* July 2010. I was 19, he was 21. We fell instantly in love and we were very happy together.
Unfortunately, in Sept 2010, I had a very traumatising miscarriage. It destroyed myself and Peter, and also our relationship. The pregnancy was not planned but we were very ready to take on this huge responsiblity together.
After the miscarriage, Peter and I turned to partying and going out all the time. Drugs and alcohol became a regular thing. These actions started to have a terrible effect on Peter as he became very aggressive and abusive in many different ways towards me. He began to pressure me to be like him and want what he wanted, such as a family, and a life together. Deep down I knew he was trapping me in guilt and shame, as I didn't know how to grieve for my lost child while trying to take care of him as well.
Peter pushed me to the ground, I felt so weak, I felt like I was unable to leave him.
The last straw was another night out, only this time Peter gave me a lot of drugs. I had never taken so much before, and mentally, didnt know where I was or what was happening around me. Unfortanately, Peter bacame aggressive with me and accused me of cheating on him (which was quite a regular thing for him). He then humiliated me in the middle of the club we were in, ended things with me, and left me there.
I was alone for the rest of the night, genuinly not knowing what was happening. I befriended a group of people and went back to a house party with them.
Fortunately, they were great people and I am still in touch with them. I had a great time with them.
I decided to see this as my way out with Peter and had cut contact with him.
I started to see another guy, who treated me very well. Two weeks into seeing this new guy, i took a pregnancy test, as, for some reason, I had a gut feeling I was pregnant. The test was positive, and I knew the baby was Peters.
I decided to tell the new guy, and my mother that I was pregant. Both were very supportive.
I then told Peter, after a couple of weeks. We have been in touch but he has since been on his drug and alcohol binges and has ended up being verbally abusive to me. He has denied our baby, and has accepted our baby, he has wanted this and unwanted this. He has been up and down so much.
I know he would be there, and he wants this a lot, but its my choice to keep him away. I won't let him hurt my child, in any way.
If he can keep his word and get himself some help, clean up his act and start owning up to his responsiblities, then I will give him the chance to be around my baby.

For other single mothers out there, whether you are in contact with the Father or not, or whatever situation you are in, don't ever give up. It's all about you and your baby now, and no one can take that love you have away, don't even let them try. Your baby is an amazing gift and will change the lives of so many people, for anyone who cant accept that, then put them behind you, they don't deserve to be around you and your amazing child :)

Katie






teenage single mother

When I got aware of the changes about me, like craving for some food that I don't really like to eat before, I immediately bought a pregnancy test kit for 5 times,until I realize that I Am trully pregnant, I wasn't prepared! I'm 19, I am still studying and I still have a lot of plans. I first thought of abortion, but my conscience and my fear of God's curse have let me decide to run away from home, because I know my father could kill me or else. I am now 2 months pregnant, working as a service crew just for temporary. I am receiving some help from my friends, God would answer my prayers when I'm troubled about money or for the rent in a boarding house...I know I still have a lot of days to face, but my baby is my inspiration to survive. and hoping that my baby and I will survive in the end....God I surrender my worries and burdens to you. I am Tired and I am weak, please continue to make me strong...

elvira






Surprise

I got pregnant at 17. My boyfriend and I used condoms at first until I later learned that I was allergic to latex. So we stopped using them, I didn't go on birth control cause I didn't want my dad to find out I was having sex ( I was 16). My dad did everything in his power to try to keep me from my boyfriend and it didn't work so he kicked me out at 17 a week in to my senior year of high school. My boyfriends mom kept trying to get me to go to the local health department to get on birth control. I had missed my period which I just had assumed it was because of the stress from my dad kicking me out. Well I went to the health department and found out I was six weeks pregnant. I told my boyfriend in between classes. He told his mom while I was at work. They wanted us to wait longer, but were so supportive. We got married in November of 2009. My son tried to come in march of 2010 I wasn't due until the end of May. So I had to go on bed rest after I had dilated 2 cm by April. I missed the last 6 weeks of my senior year. On graduation morning I woke up in labor, I tried to hide the pain but my husband knew something was wrong which it didn't help that his family had been telling me I was gonna go into labor the day of graduation (lol). My husband begged me to go to the hospital and they said I was in labor. They started filling out paper work and tried to admit me and I cried and said please let me go to my graduation. It took a lot of conceiving, but they said there and back. I sat through a 1 and half graduation while in labor. I walked across the stage and accepted my diploma. It was the best feeling in my life. After graduation, I went to the hospital. I had my son 8 hours after I graduated. My son Jesse James just turned one. He was born May 26th and my husband turned 19 the next day on May 27th. My husband I have been married for 19 months, and still going strong. I'm a full time college student, pursuing my RN degree. I didn't expect having a baby would be so hard. My son was rushed to the hospital at 3 weeks old, diagnosed with acid reflux and strider. The strider would make him loose his breath, and he would turn blue. My son out grew both and is perfectly healthy. I love my son and husband very much. I don't know where I would be without them. I sacrificed a lot my dad disowned me when he found out I was pregnant, and my mom was to busy with drugs to care. She's met my son three times. My dad refuses to meet him. My son is a blessing and they are the ones missing out no me. I love waking up to my little boy smiling at me. Being a teen mom is hard unlike the shows seem. But it's worth it to me. I wouldn't change one thing in my life. :))

Kelsea






Me & Him <3

I found out i was pregnant at 16 i was 2 months. i was with my ex boyfriend at the time we had 3 years together i loved him with all my heart he was there until i told my parents i was pregnant and my dad kicked me out. i moved from place to place i had no where to go i didnt get prenatal till i was 6 months so thats when i finally saw my little boy. i still stayed in touch with his dad but all his dad cared about was girls and partying and his friends. instead of getting a job for his son . his family said he wasnt the father and they wanted a DNA test cuz he didnt look anything like him my parents fianlly let me move back in but said i wasnt allowed to see him cuz they dont like black people . i did sneak him in to see my son a few times and sometimes he would leave me waiting to go have sex with some female. then i moved out the country with my parents and trying to get back in school to get my GED and get a job to take care of my son hes about to turn 1 in julyy 16 and i will turn 18 on july 31 i have not spoken to his father for 3 months now i feel like when he does try to be there for sebastian its fake and child support isn't even worth it

for all you single teen mothers out there that are having a rough time with the father of your baby just be strong and dont let them take your time when you can spend that with your baby move on if you have to

Gloria






14 and pregnant

i am currently a single mother of a 3 month old baby boy named Conner Thomas. my story started when i was 14.the babies father is not in the picture he had moved away by the time i found out that i was pregnant. i had tried contacting him for 2 weeks but he had changed his phone number and his best friend didn't know where he was. i was going to be a single parent with the help of my parents. i found out i was prgnant because i had a gut feeling that i was.. it may sound funny but its true. i decided to ignore it because i never thought that i could happen to me. im a ''top of the class'' student that does not smoke, drink or do drugs.i did not had morning sickness which didn't surprise me because i just don't vomit. the last time i vomited was when i has 3 or 4. i felt dizzy and light headed and more tired than usual. i had only missed 1 period before i finally decided to take a pregnancy test. i told my best friend and we went down to the supermarket and bought a pregnancy test. we went back to my house and i took the test. it came up positive. i then told my older sister and she took me to my doctor to make it official. i was pregnant. i dont remember much but i just felt ashamed and i had already felt that i had disowned my parents. my ex-boyfriend went to another school. he and i had been going out for over a year but had know each other for a few years before we actually started going out. i was 14 and 1 month when we started having sex. the third time we had sex the condom broke and thats where the above happened. i went onto telling my other sister (i have 2 older sisters) they then asked me if i wanted them to be there when i told my mum (my parents are divorced) i felt it was best for me to tell her alone. i knew how my mum would react. we had had this conversation before and she said that i would have to put the baby up for adoption. i had told her no but then it led into an argument.. anyways i sat her down and basically just came straight out with it. i just said that i was so sorry and that i am pregnant. i know it probably wasn't the best way to do it but it was straight forward because if it wasn't i knew that i would start crying and then i wouldn't be able to control myself. my mum basically hit the roof and said that she will support me no matter what but then she told my stepdad (who lived with us) and he came into my room and kicked me out. he wouldn't let my mum let me back in the house. my mum then took me to my dads house and my mum and i told him. i am a daddies girl and he was happy. he said that he will rent a house out for me and pay my bills and support the baby. my dad does not have the best house to raise a baby in. he said that he would pay for the baby to be put into childcare while he went to work and i went to school. he said that he would do all of this if i cooked, cleaned and raised my child in a proper manner.i gave birth on the 3 of january weighing 9 lbs on the dot! it hurt like hell pushing him out! i did not have get an epidural. my dad knew that i could do it. i did not like free feeding off my dad but because i was underage i was not able to work. i felt very bad but that is what happened. my dad has now bought us a house with 3 bedrooms. 1 for my dad, 1 for me and 1 for Conner. it is a beautiful home. i am sooo happy that my dad has helped me out this much i am still not able to work cause i am still underaged. my mum and dad absolutely love their first grandson. my family come over all the time and bring me stuff which is awesome. i am currently on youtube with up dates on conner:) i love him to death. the school i am currently going to allows me to take conner as many times as i would like a week. i am aloud to have him in my lessons which gives my dad some extra cash because he doesn't have to pay for chid care. my school was not happy with the idea when i first asked them but them had reminded them of the Christian spirit and how god would not let down one of his children for having a child (the school is catholic) and they allowed me to bring him! everyone loves him now. but when i was pregnant the looked at me funny and called me names but now that i bring him to school i do not allow them to see him because i feel that it is not right for someone to tease me when he was in my stomach but now that he is the cutest thing ever they want to see him and hold him all the time i just say no i do not want such a person who will make fun of someone when they need the most support around my son. i say they are a bad influence on him! they hate me for that but he is MY son and not anyone else :) Conner is now 3 months if i had not said that already! i got in contact with the father about 1 month ago and he is seeing Conner everyday and we are planning on getting back together and my dad is allowing him to move in when ever he wants to as long as helps me with Conner. my dad said that he is only allowed to move in with MY consent ! I LOVE MY DAD! for all of the teen mums out there hold your head up high. don't allow ANYONE to bring you down it is extremely hard and not many people realise how hard it is as a mother especially as a teen mum! i think every teen mum should get an award for raising a child! xx

chloe







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