Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.


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Confused scared but excited


hey my names rebecca i am 16 and just recently found out that i am pregnant. Me and the father of the baby were together on and off for 2 years , I would leave because of domestic violence but I always went back to him .
He just recently Got 6months imprisoment because of D.V.
I dont whant to go back to him because i have now got a baby to worry about, and right now thats the most important thing so im worried im going to be a 16 year old single mum .
I havent just yet told my mother because i no this s going to hurt her probally just as much as it is hurting me, I dont belive in abortions or giving my new born away to a couple of strangers.
I no im going to love my baby and make shore she has a happy and safe child hood
thanks for reading if theres other people out there i really need some support..

becky






struggling single mommy

My name is anahy and I have a one
Year old son whose dad will not even
Care to call if he is okay. When I found out I was pregnant he was very happy and supportive but when he saw all the major responsobilities this had brought him, he ran. I don't regret having my son as he is what makes me smile every morning and I love him so much. I know his father cares but right now he would rather party than be tied down with responsobilities. I have learned to live with the fact that he is not even worth being called a father. I know one day he will wake up and regret his decision and ask for his son and I will tell him "which son?"

becky






My 5 babies

Hi Ladies, I just want to post a short story regarding my 5 pregnancies because I have read so many threads & questions from ladies trying to conceive (possibly my 6th pregnacy at the moment as my period is late!!!...the joys of fertility!!!!) and every time I have found myself alone for one reason or another. Basically I would like to say that every pregnancy & every individual woman is different. With my 1st pregnancy I was trying to conceive with the man I married & suffered severe menstrual type pain without bleeding at the time my period was due, we seperated because he was still grieving for the deceased wife he lost 5 years before me so I moved on and met a man who I loved but was never there....this is the man who fathered my next 3 babies. The 2nd baby was very different. I had what I assumed to be a normal period but very sore breasts which a week later lead me to a shocking positive pregnancy test. The third baby I had missed a period and felt sick & had all the signs of pregnancy but due to being in the middle of my degree in psychology I basically assumed pregnancy and eventually visited the Dr. at 20 weeks pregnant reporting "cessation of menstruation & a mass in my uterus". My 4th pregnancy wasn't a surprise. I had a minor stroke a few years before & wasn't allowed to take the combined pill & the mini pill made me bleed so I relied on the rhythm method which my partner sorrowfully took advantage of and I conceived at 14 days post menstruation (my cycle was always 28 days which I was fully aware of and cessated from intercourse at day 10-14). Shorty after her birth we separated and he hasn't contacted for many years by his own personal choice. After the birth of my 4th baby I appeared to enter 'pre-menopause (peri-menopause). My cycle was 22 - 23 days (as if my 33 year old body was screaming out to conceive and throwing ovums/eggs at the world quite relentlessly)...this sudden change caught me out with a man who I had met 6 months before who I adored but did not plan to fall pregnant to given his many psychological problems...this however resulted in baby number 5 through which I suffered horrendous pain which almost left me in A&E alone because baby's dad was in a psychiatric hospital suffering severe depression for 5 months. I also bled & suffered contraction type pains for the 1st 20 weeks & endured 6 scans throughout which revealed a healthy fetus....the contraction pains and bleeding were attributed to a cervical polyp which my body was trying to expel in preperation for the delivery of a healthy baby. The conclusion to my story is that all pregnancies are different. pain...no pain....severe nausea....no nausea....absence of menstruation...quite heavy spotting with pain! ...Expected pregnancy...shock!!! We are all individuals and every individual pregnancy in the same woman can vary immensely....my advice is "don't rely on the experiences of another or even your own previous pregnancies......conception & the pregnancy which follows is a mystical scientific phenomena which is unique to itself every time :) However, we are the mothers...the women who are strong enough to experience the worries of pregnancy and the pain of labour. I have no family to support me and the children's father's don't keep in touch (by choice following my decision to escape the cruel relationships) but I have 5 wonderful children (age 20 months, 5 years, 8 years, 11 years & 16 years) and they are my best friends and keep me alive daily with their smiles and constant gratitude regarding how it is me that has raised them alone and created 5 very happy, exceptionally bright, funny people. 4 months ago I met a nice man but it's too soon to predict the future and any lady who has raised 5 children alone won't tolerate any extensive imperfections in a partner when she has her offspring to consider first...however...I feel I may have been caught out again with my fluctuating, relentless ovaries (I'm certain the D & C and extensive loop diathermy under general anaesthetic for high level pre-cancerous cells has created a 'tabula rasa' (blank slate) & fresh virginal uterus!!!). I sincerely hope that my story gives all ladies hope and realisation that we can make it alone. From an evolutionary perspective & in the animal kingdom the female is often left alone as a result of no knowledge to the identity of the paternal father or as a result of the father leaving...a frequent occurrence in the animal kingdom. Time flies and our babies grow so quickly but they always remember who struggled to raise them. I do not seek sympathy for my shortcomings...my children's sperm donors were a bad decision on my part & I don't regret having a single one of my beautiful, bright, loving children...they are the only thing that make me consider the possibility of determinism over free-will......it was as if they were meant to be and I know that one day, despite my efforts, struggles, financial worries...that I will be very proud to say 'I raised them alone!!!'.

sarah.r






Mixing beats

Hi, my name is Emmali and I am 18 years old. I graduate in december and I am about one month pregnet. My baby's father and I meet about 5 months ago and had a relationship which I ended because he never meet up to what he said he would. He rather party and stuff instead of being in a relationship with me. He is a 23 year old dj. After our break up we still saw each other and had passionate nights. Mistake. Major mistakes. I was and am still very much a in love with him. I want to keep my baby but some of my friends and family say abortion, I am so afraid to tell my parents, not because of what they will do or react, but because I knw I will disappoint them. Another thing my x boyfriend has gone m.i.a I spoke to him like a week ago and he said he was in texas, I havent heard from him since and none of the people who knw him have either. He wont return my txt or anything I am so upset and scared, but at the same time I feel like my bby is a great blessing from god.

Emmali






My Sweet Blessing (:

Hi, my name is Jennifer. I got pregnant on my 16th birthday with my boyfriend of two years. I'm a really smart girl- in the gifted program at school and never really got in any trouble. Vince was my first serious boyfriend and we had our ups and downs. He was really into drugs and doing bad things and I was kinda just on my own most of the time. Well, we weren't using protection I guess I was just in that mindset that "I can't get pregnant". Which is STUPID. Well, I knew I was pregnant at 4 weeks, I could just tell. So I took a test at my job and texted my boyfriend to tell him what it said. He was so supportive and happy, so was his family. He told me that God sent us a blessing and from that moment on was by my side. I didn't tell my parents- they just kind of find out on their own. My mom found my pregnancy test in my purse, and I kind of wanted her to because I didn't want to come out and tell her myself. My dad was in another state visiting family and found out from a family friend. Well, my mom wanted me to get an abortion right off the bat and I was seriously thinking about it. But my boyfriend, Vince was against that from the start. He said I can't kill his first born baby. Then, when I suggested adoption, he said that he and his family would take the baby if I didn't feel I was ready for it. I knew then that Vince was in it for the long haul and he completely stopped drugs, running around with his friends, everything. During my pregnancy he waited on me hand and foot and simply admired me for carrying his child. Our love really grew during that time. He took me to all my doctor's appointments and enjoyed every milestone our unborn child had.

My pregnancy was really uneventful, which I thank God for. On April 1, 2010 at 2:07 I gave birth to our beautiful daughter Mariah Adele. My water broke pretty much 12 hours before that while I was laying in bed with Vince. It was pretty scary :P He ran upstairs and told his mom and we drove to the hospital. I felt almost no pain because as soon as we got there I got my epidural. I loved my daughter as soon as I saw her and Vince and I both cried. He and my mom held my legs while I was giving birth, I'm so glad he was there with me.

Unfortunately, all of those "bad things" that he was doing before I got pregnant landed him in jail a week after she was born. It's been hard raising her alone but I'm going to stay with Vince and make it work. We talk every day and Mariah sees her daddy every week. I'm starting my senior year in a few weeks and I can't wait until my family is together in a few months.

My advice to all you teen/single moms out there, keep your head up! You don't need a guy in your life, as long as your child has the love of his or her mommy they will be fine! Don't go looking for a man just to be a father figure to your child, let him come to you if it is meant to be it will be!

Jennifer







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