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Never quite sure

6 months ago, I became pregnant. My boyfriend and I were just out of college and barely starting our careers. We made the decision to have an abortion--one that still haunts me. I know that I made the right decision then, but I can’t help but wonder if he sensed the gravity of the situation.

When I found out this week that I was pregnant, his response was a non-challant "Well, you should go take care of that." We may not have progressed much professionally since the first time, but I can't stop thinking about what the first abortion put me through.

I simultaneously love and don't want this baby and all I want is some support in making the right decision.

Scared but Excited

Hi I’m 20, and I think about 2 weeks pregnant. I was in a long distance relationship, and I thought I was in love. He and I hadn't been intimate yet, until this last time he came to visit me. I started feeling nauseous pretty quick, my breasts are sore but haven’t grown yet. The last couple of days I have been bleeding some, and I’m pretty freaked out by that. But I’ve done a lot of reading online and I guess about 25-30 % of women experience that, so I’m trying to stay calm. I’m also completely exhausted, every time I get in a car I start to fall asleep.

About three days ago my boy friend broke up with me. We’re still talking but I’m having a really hard time talking to him, he has no idea yet. When he broke up with me he was a jerk, but he's since has said he's sorry and he's not walking away. I’m not sure what that means, but I do know I don't want to do this alone.

I’m really scared because my family is really religious, and I don't know how to tell them. I know they'll be supportive and take care of me, but they'll be so disappointed too.
At the same time I love kids, I don't remember a time when I didn't want a baby! And I’m going to love being a mom! I’ve already considered some names; I just hope all goes well.

So in spite of the challenges I really want this baby. I just hope the father feels the same way. But whatever he decides I think this baby is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Even with all the nasty symptoms I’m experiencing I’m looking forward to the whole thing.

Good luck to everyone!


Lynae

Feeling alone

I'm 28 years old and this was my first pregnancy. I'm the oldest of 4, with two younger sisters having subsequently "normal" pregnancies.

This wasn't a planned pregnancy, but we were happy non-the-less. I didn't want to tell anyone right away, at least not until the end of the 1st trimester (heard one to many horror stories), so we waited, chomping at the bit every step of the way.

I had my first prenatal appointment at 7 weeks, a due date was set, and I had made it to 10 weeks and all was good. Then, a gush of blood appeared. I raced to emergency, they did a pelvic exam and the cervix was closed, the blood had stopped and I was sent home. I remained positive even had the thought of maybe twins.

My partner was working nights, when later that night I saw more blood and raced back to the hospital. Again, they sent me home. The next day, there was a lot more blood and this time clumping. In the end, we had an incomplete miscarriage, I had a D&C done, and it's comforting to know as I read previous postings that I'm not alone.

And even though the timing wasn't right, it wasn't planned; we wanted this baby and were excited to be pregnant. I'm feeling very emotional, but have the love and support of a great man and a close family. I know that this empty, lonely, emotional roller-coaster will fade in time, and we'll try again.

Best of luck and god bless to all those who have had this happen.


Stacey

Need some advice, rough few weeks!

Hi everyone! My first pregnancy was so wonderful; don't get me wrong, it had some ups and downs but for the most part I loved it. This pregnancy is the complete opposite of the first.

I'm having light headedness, racing heart rate, fatigue, and everything else you can think of! I just want to know if this is normal. I don't get a lot of support, everyone says, "oh you are fine just get over it". My husband tries, but lately I think I'm getting on his nerves. I'm 5 weeks pregnant and haven't done much more than take care of my 18 month old daughter.

Thanks,

Worried and sick.

Alicia

We Waited So Long For This - Why Am I Miserable??

We had planned this baby to the moment of conception. I was elated and hysterically happy when I found out I was pregnant. Now at 6 weeks and 4 days I am so extremely moody that I'm considering leaving my hubby. I just hate everyone and everything right now. I also quit smoking cold turkey and I know this has added to my misery.

I just feel so negative and hateful right now and I'm sick of feeling this way. I'm happy to be having a baby but I can't shake the insane mood swings that are now dominating my life. I have serious doubts as to whether me and my hubby will last through this. On top of it, I'm stuck in this damned farmhouse all the time because I had my license suspended for unpaid fines. I can't even leave this place to go for a cup of tea when I get angry.

I feel trapped, hopeless and scared. I feel angry at myself and everyone else. Especially my hubby. He needs to grow up and start helping out around here! The place looks like a disaster area!! I had some spotting a few days ago and went to the hospital to get it checked out. Doctor told me to take it easy so I have been. In the meantime my hubby has yet to lift a finger to help keep this place clean. He's lazy and I'm sick of it!

I really hope things get better or I am leaving him. I will go stay at my dad's where I can get around on a bus or whatever. I'm tired of feeling miserable and being trapped in this damned house!!

Sorry this was so long…I really needed to vent!!


Jodie