Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
finding hope and faith
hello everyone, I am new to this site but after reading all your stories I have some comfort. I am 27 years old, and am married with 2 kids. This was my first miscarriage, I lost my baby on 3/12/08. It has been very hard but praying and reading the stories from everyone makes me feel less alone. I pray for every one to find peace with god .
Vacation???I was 16 weeks pregnant with two normal ultrasounds and a strong heartbeat at the doctors office at 15 weeks.
My husband and I were so excited to go on a quick 4 day cruise together before the baby arrived - our 3 yr old was staying with his grandparents. While on the cruise I started experiencing abdominal pain, then started vomiting and had a low grade fever. The waters were horribly rough (50ft swells) and we had a strong head wind. This would ultimately delay our arrival in port by about 4 hours.
My water broke in the middle of the Pacific and contractions continued for about two hours. 15 hours later we arrived in port and my husband drove me to the nearest emergency room. Shortly after we arrived they sent me to ultrasound-alone. I am not sure why my husband was forced to wait outside. I stared at the ultrasound and noticed no heartbeat and no blood flow to the baby. I had expected that this was the case, but I was not at all prepared.
About 5 minutes after the ultrasound they sent me to the bathroom in the ER hallway to clean up because I was still bleeding. I sat on the toilet (by myself) and felt something large pass. I thought it was a large clot and looked down- only to see my baby. I screamed. There was no nurse call button. All I could do was pound on the door and scream for my husband.
The worst part, the part that I will never forget, was when the nurse asked me to stand up so that she could recover the baby from the toilet and the toilet automatically flushed. I fell into my husband's arms and cried. It was not her fault. None of us expected it to happen, but it was devastating. Just as they were ready to discharge me, I developed chills and spiked a temp of 102.8. I was hospitalized for three days to treat an e. coli infection. This is what my doctors think caused the loss.
And now I sit in my kitchen, trying to find a way to get back to normal. My husband is a surgical resident and had to go back to work immediately. I am taking some time from my job mainly because I am a drug rep and work primarily in peds offices. I can't bare the thought of going back. I am so angry with every new mother and pregnant woman that I see and so sad for those friends and relatives who I now know lost their own babies and never spoke of it.
In some ways I wish we hadn't told so many people the week before this all happened. I hate to face all those sad "understanding" faces everyday. However, I can't imagine going through this without any support. There are days when everything has felt pretty normal and then the next day something will set me off and I will just want to cry.
I have also discovered all of the horrible things I must have said and thought when a friend or family member went through any illness or crisis. People say the worst things, usually with the best intentions. I don't want to hear that it was meant to be or that we will have another or that God has a bigger plan. I don't want flowers or cards, emails or phone calls. I just want to be 18 weeks pregnant. I think the Beatles said it best- "How I long for yesterday!"
DevastatedI don't even know where to start because I still can't get past one day, one hour, or one minute without breaking down. My son was born on March 16th at only 17 1/2 weeks. I had been bleeding for 5 weeks prior and my first child was miscarried at 13 weeks. Twins.....went from two, to one and now to nothing! I suffered from placenta abruption after my first twin passed and from there life went downhill. Bleeding and pain became a part of my daily life. I don't know how to go on even though I have two other little girls at home who need me. I suffered my first miscarriage in February 1998 at 7 weeks 1 day but that was nothing in comparison to what I am dealing with now. I feel like I am puching my whole family away. I am drowning in my guilt of wondering what I did wrong......Some one help me before I drown in my own tears!
SHOULD I FEEL SCARED OR EXCITEDI am 28 years old and have been married for 2 1/2 years to a wonderful man. We are both Christians and believe that God has a plan for all. I went through 3 miscarriages in the last 1 1/2 years. I know I had progesterone issues, but am not sure if this was the only reason. All my blood results came out normal, and my chromosome blood test with my husband was normal. I am currently newly pregnant. My HGC levels are very low, 114, but am unsure if this is because I caught the pregnancy early or not. I hope this 4th time my pregnancy will stick. I was one of the first of my friends to get pregnant, but I am now one of few who still doesn't have a child. What keeps me going is that I know God would not have put the desire of a child in my heart and I know he will eventually bless me with a child on HIS time cause HIS time is the perfect time. My father in law said that I have three children waiting for me in heaven, which made me smile knowing although they weren't with me I am still their mother. I hope this pregnancy is of God.
My husband and I kept praying since my last miscarriage that we will have a child on Gods time, and if it isn't his time to prevent me from being pregnant so I would never have to feel the physical and emotional pain of another miscarriage. All I know is the Lord is good, and he will provide. I have found comfort in this. Last week I was at a church I don't normally attend and I went up for an alter call. The pastor said that there was a couple who was trying to get pregnant at the alter and asked that couple to raise their hand. My husband raised his hand as I looked in shock and amazement. This pastor doesn't know us, he doesn't know our story. Yet at that moment he said that I will be bountiful. I know that was the Lord speaking because he wanted to let me know he heard my prayer. Please keep faith, cry out and pray to the Lord. He is a loving God.
So sadWe were so excited about having our third child that we told everyone at 6 weeks. We had always waited before, but we had never had any complications and we were both healthy with no risk factors. At 7 1/2 weeks we had our first physical and after the pap test I had a bit of cramping and spotting. I read that this is normal (at least the spotting) so I didn't think much of it. Two days later I had more bleeding and at 8 weeks, 1 day I was at the hospital and we saw our baby on the ultrasound. It had no heartbeat and had died at 7 weeks. We had known that miscarriage was a possibility, but we were not prepared for that result. While waiting in the emergency room to talk to the doctor about our ultrasound results, our baby passed from my body and I caught it. I wish now that I had opened the sac to see the actual baby, but at least I got to hold our child one time. It was heartbreaking and even though I am able to keep positive in my head, my soul aches at the loss of this baby. When the distractions are gone and I can contemplate what happened, I can barely catch my breath sometimes as I am so sad. I know our baby was only 2 months old, but we loved it so much already. We prayed for it and we talked to our other children about the baby all the time. I think that it will be hard to be truly joyful when we get pregnant next time as we will always be wondering if this will happen again. Every nurse I came into contact with at the hospital had had at least one miscarriage - some as many as 5 and it seems so wrong. How can it be so common? Anyway, I think it helps to share my story and while nothing can bring my baby back, my daughter's thoughts on the matter are such a comfort. She said that she thinks God is cuddling our baby up in heaven!
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