Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Dear my unborn child
I wrote this letter to my baby,
after i found out that I had the miscarriage...
It has alot of my beliefs in it so I hope no one takes offence,
It is my way of healing my mind.
I know I never met you, but you where a part of me,
I hope you know, that you will be missed by both your father and I,
I know this seems crazy, but this is the best way for me to deal with the passing of you,
I hope your spirit is at peace, I can't wait till I feel your spirit again,
I know you will be with us again soon,
I hope you are waiting for the perfect time, just like your brother did,
I hope you know I love you and I will be waiting for the day we meet again.
Love your mother.
I'm Scared...I found this site today, trying to read advice on avoiding miscarriage, and have read some of the stories posted. Some are so very sad, little Destiny, and josiah...I want to cry.
I am pregnant for the fifth time, I had a baby girl when I was 16, another girl when I was 18, and I had a miscarriage with my third pregnancy when I was almost 20. I concieved with my third baby girl on the date of my baby that past away's due date, and it was so very hard. I am almost 22 and have 3 beautiful girls, and my soon to be husband (fall 2008) And I are pregnant.
I am so scared this time, because the miscarriage I had in May 2006, I was happy to be pregnant, and had a strong feeling that it was a boy, because I have always wanted a son, I was 12 1/2 weeks along and on my way out the door for dinner with my mother, when I decided to stop and use the washroom first, I discovered that I was spotting and was so scared! I went straight to the hosptial E.R and they got me in for an ultra-sound and because it was so late at night there were no certified persons around, they did a scan and said it looks like there is a heartbeat, but told me to come back the next morning when there was someone who was certified there.
We came back the next morning and they did an internal ultra sound with a certified person, and she said "thats where the heartbeat is supposed to be" and I said "but I dont see one?" and I remember like it was yesterday she said cold as ice "thats because there isnt one!" and it hurt so bad that it felt like she tore my heart out. I cried for so long, and was so hurt and sad.
They said to just go home and that the baby should pass on its own, the next day I started to bleed more and more, and by the next day was bleeding so bad that I passed out twice until my boyfriend at the time finally called 911. By the time they got me to the hospital the doctor said that if they wouldnt have gotten me there when they did I wouldnt have made it. They did a D&C that day, and the bleeding slowed, but the pain was still there. I was so devastated by losing the baby that I feel into depression and overloaded myself with work for months, one day in september my oldest daughter said to me "mommy you are never here!" so I quit, stayed home with my two girls at the time, and tried to heal and be the loving mother I felt like I lost when my baby died. I got back to normal and had a third baby girl in March 2007.
I am now pregnant again for the fifth time. I have such a bad feeling, I am so scared and so afraid that I may lose this baby too. I dont know what I would do, I want this baby so bad and have a feeling its the son that I have wanted all along. We are almost 6 weeks along, and have already bought one cute boy outfit and a blue bib that says "if you think I'm handsome you should see my Daddy". I'm longing for this baby so much, I want to hold it in my arms. I am terrified of losing it though because I know how awful it is to lose a child that you have names picked for, and clothes bought for, and the nusury set up...and all that...and the stories I have read about women losing the baby just before birth or shortly after, that would kill me, and us, so very much...
I want to know that everything is okay but unfortunately I cant see the future, I want to not be scared but I am so...I dont know what to do, I have been crying alot, my stomach hurts, and I have alot of back pain, and I have a negative feeling but I am not sure if its just because I am scared. Thanks for reading my story, every woman needs to know there is someone out there who will listen.
God Bless and Please Pray for Us...
loss of child before birth in my grandsons stepmotI love my grandson and he just lost a sister that was never born alive. His father and stepmother were enjoying a seemingly normal pregnancy when one week before delivery, it was determined the baby had died.
My grandson lives with his mother and was going to be moving to live with his father and stepmother. He was so excited about the new baby who had already been named and at 10 was prepared to be the big brother. I feel so sad for all of them and wish I could take the pain away for them.
I am the fathers ex mother in law and have never met his wife but my grandson adores her so that makes her someone that I love too. How to I help him? I am as most people are when it comes to how to help him.
Loss affects many people, even ones you have not met.
I love them all.
rucurrent misscarriages tooI have had four miscarriages in three years, all ranging in ages from seven weeks right up to 14 and a half weeks. Each time I went in for a d & c and tested like you would not believe. I had numerous blood tests and in the end they even tested my husband but to no avail. We are both perfectly normal.
In the end, the doctors referred me to a blood doctor who wanted to put me on aspirin and clexain injections. I agreed at first, but then read about the side affects to both me and my baby so i decided to go and see an iridologist who has helped me a lot. She was able to tell me the reasons behind losing my babies, i had a kidney problem when i was young and my kidneys don't function how they should. I am on a course of detox to help my kidneys.
Just last week I learned that i am five weeks pregnant again and I am very scared about the outcome. I know i should be excited but at the moment i am just one scared 23 year old. My advice to anyone who has had recurrent miscarriages and the doctors put down to bad luck like mine, think alternative medicine. I was a bit unsure at first, but I have a good feeling about this baby, this one is meant to be.
The little girl I lost at 14 and a half weeks has been my hardest miscarriage to deal with out of all of them because I started bleeding at nine weeks, went to doctors for a scan and there was my baby, as happy as ever.
No one could explain the bleeding so i was told to go home and rest and everything would be okay. The next day i was back up at the hospital with more severe bleeding and another scan to show everything was okay. five weeks later i lost my little girl on fathers day of all days.
So for now i am just taking one day at a time and hopefully things will work out this time.
Safe in the Arms of Jesus..Hi my name is Vicky and my story is about my struggles with Pcos and infertility , my pregnancy achievement and the birth of our Baby Daughter.
I tell my story in hope to give hope and encouragement to those struglin with Infertility whatever that may be and Also to Warn those who are pregnant and those who will be giving birth. My main mission is to save more and more babies everyday and to prevent tragedies with our babies from happening due to negligence/malpractice..
I struggled with Pcos and infertility for 12 long years, we wanted a baby all those years and so we didn't prevent it ,but in the last 2 years was when we seeked help from an RE and thats when we started ttc with assistance. Becouse I have Pcos I was overweght (like most of women who suffer from Pcos) I was told that I need it to lose weight about 30lbs at least in order for them to start treating me for infertility, so they prescribe me metformin for insulin resistance to take permanently..I was determined to do what ever it took and I wasn't going to stop until I had a baby and I knew that 1 day I was going to have a baby..
Well I started a lowcarb diet and an excercise routine, so much that by the end of it all I was doing 13 hours of excercise a week. well 2 years went by and on a break from BCP I got pregnant on my own,but sadly mc a week after. it was said to be a blighted ovum. never the less I was devastated but at least I was reasured that I could get pregnant , and when I was done grieving I got even more eager to get pregnant
so after 2 years I went back to my RE to tell him what happen and to let him know I was ready to try, once I was at their office they were amazed and couldn't believe it was me, I had lost not only the 30lbs he asked me to but an additional 45lbs a total of 75lbs they called me the star patient and they started me on infertility meds right away..I was giving letrozole and hcg shot and I was being monitor the whole time , well that time I responded to the meds but did not get pregnant, so we tried the same meds with the addition of baby aspirin the 2nd time around and I finally got my BFP from that cycle.
I was put on progesterone suppositories bc I had ask for , and I continued taking metformin, and for the 1st trimester at least I couldn't eat carbs to keep my hormones from going crazy and causin a MC...At 20 weeks we were told we were having a Girl!!! what a joy just what we wanted , I even had her name picked up 12 years ago I guess I always knew I was going to have a girl bc I never even thought of boy names , I wanted her name to mean something so all 12 years my baby girls name was Destiny Desire bc she was the Destiny I so long desired...
Well I had the most perfect non complicated pregnancy ever , I didn't developed G Diabetes nor high blood preassure and the Baby was such a good baby so healthy and so active in there it was amazing, and I enjoyed every second of our baby gril in my belly and boy I took such a good care of her while she was in there that people were saying I was being obsessive , I didn't care all I care was the well being and safety of my Baby..
Finally the day had come we were going to have our baby, I remember waking up that morning and when I felt her move I finally took a deep breath and said to my DH "I can't believe we made it" I put my hand over my belly and told Destiny "Good morning Dessy and I went on to tell her how I couldn't wait to have her in my arms in a few hours to tell her face to face how much I love her and how much we have all been waiting for her" I than told her " I see you in a few hours my Baby Girl I love you" and she started to move so much that we film the belly just moving all directions.
We were induced Nov 14, 2007 and My Destiny Desire was Born Nov 15, 2007 weighing 7lbs 6.5oz and a whooping 23 inches and 1/2 she was perfect and beautiful a head full of shine , silky brown soft hair.......Sadly my Destiny passed away a couple of hours after her birth due to negligence/malpractice, I never got to see my baby alive and what hurt me even more is that she never got to see her mommys face , she never met Mommy.
The happiest day of my life turned into the last day I ever felt alive , it was the end of my life from that moment on, I died together with my baby that day..
Here is the negligence and I hope women who read this and are expecting takes this very seriously and I hope they prepare themselves for this things so they and my self included could save their babies from something like this...My babys heart rate very low at 5pm nov 14 so I told the nurse I wanted a c-section , she went and call the DR and she came back to told me that the Dr was at home but that she was monitoring us from her home and that even though the babys heart had dropped dangerously low it wasn't time for a c-section, so she refused to do it,
at that point I started crying I wanted my baby out and Dr wouldnt do it, the nurse assured me everything was going to be fine..Well hours went by babys heart rate had drop 3 more times and the 4th time it went too high and fast , still Dr wouldn't show her face or take the baby out..More time went on and I developed very high fever and also very high blood pressure and instead of doing the Darn c-section they started to give me medicine via IV and since it wasn't going down they kept on giving medicine.
do you know where all those meds were going? right it was also going to my baby if they would of done the c-section none of this would of happen and they didnt had to give me any of those meds that affected my baby so much..Well more time went on and by this time I was ready to push but there were still no signs of the DR anywhere the nurse was working with my pushing, as I was pushing I started to feel this really bad pain against my breast bone and I knew that was the baby way up high , so I told the nurse that the baby was not coming down bc I can feel her against my breast bone up high once again she didn't listen to me and I kept on pushing without success,so after 1 hours and 1/2 she calls in the DR.
"finally the Dr steps into play" well she had me push some more and I told her also that the baby was not coming down but she didn't listen AGAIN , after a while she said she started doing the vacuum she did it 5xs It didn't work baby was still high, so she said she was going to try forceps "I never like forceps" so I asked her if that was safe for the baby Her response was " I would never use anything that would potentially harm your baby"
ok so she did the forceps 5xs also and she did it so hard that she would drag me down with each pull and they had to pick me up and push me back on the bed everytime, well that didn't work either so I finally told her no more and this time she finally listen to me and agreed to a C-section.. Before I continue I would like to point something very important out, When we found a lawyer to take care of our case he told us that the limit of times to do the vacuum as well as the forceps was a maximum of 3xs. she did both of those 5xs each and also they saw by the markins on the babys head that the baby was not low enough for forceps and therefore she was pulling the babys head from the wrong angle of the head...
Ok so back to the story when the Dr told the nurses to get everything ready for a c-section and all The Dr started to walk out of the room and as she was leaving we heard the babys heart drop again very low so the DR stopped looked at the monitor but then kept on going out, the first thing they did was to remove the babys monitor and I figure that everything was going to go fast from there ,but once again it didn't ,
it took them 45 minutes to get everything ready and all of that time my baby was not being monitored. Well finally everything was ready I was in the OR my Dh was outside the room waiting for them to tell him to go in as he had the camera and all, well the last thing I heard was the Dr ask me If I could feel her poking my belly to see if it was numb and I told her I couldn't feel anything..Next thing I know I was waking up but numb everywhere I could hear , and see and think but I couldn't move my mouth to talk, so in my mind I was wondering why was I put to sleep I was suppose to be awake for the birth of my baby,
than I finally hear my Dh but he asked "wheres the baby" and the nurse said right there and he said "oh she is out" so right there I said to my self wait a minute why is Dh asking this questions wasn't he inside the whole time? then I hear him asking the Dr if I was going to be ok and they said yes and he left the room, so here I am waiting to hear my baby cry and witing for them to show me my Baby girl, but that never happen...
Once in my room and I was more awake the Dr comes in and says "we need to pray bc the baby is not breathing right" then a little later some other woman comes in and says to me that the Babys heart had stopped and they couldn't resuscitate her,(you can imagine what happened next when we heard that)..
Well the next day I hear from a friend of mine that was also there bc she had deliver her baby the day before me and her room was right across from the nursery, She told me that they went to her room desperately looking for machines that morning to put on my baby bc they didn't have any machines available for her. It gets worse. turns out that my baby had been born floppy bc of all the medicines they had put in my IV bc they refuse to do the c-section when I first asked , but still my baby was born alive but it turns out that when they took the baby to the nursery they left her all alone having breathing troubles to go and look for a machine to hook her up on it...
My Baby was a fighter she fought and survive the whole labor ordeal that was terrible and she also had survive from all those drugs that went threw her body, but my Baby was tired in distress and was left alone when she couldn't breathe and unfortunately she suffered brain damage from lock of oxygen from when they left her alone with out any assistance or help to breathe,
They killed my baby, they left her there to die , she fought and tried very hard to breathe but couldn't do it on her on , they gave up on her and never try to help her and of course when they finally found a machine and hooked her up on it her heart had stopped beating..My Baby did not want to live with the consequences of brain damage and God knew that she wasn't meant to live like that and so God call her to his side and jesus side..
I believe my baby is now Safe in the arms of Jesus....But I miss her dearly and I wish she was here with me right now...I am now ttc again but once again I am faced with infertility and sometimes I get so scare bc what about if I can never have another baby again? What about if I don't get another chance? what about if they didn't only took my babys life away but also my only child and my only chance to be a Mommy here on earth?
bc I am a Mommy already but I so wanted to be one with my baby here on earth with me..I'm not looking for a replacement but I really , really need another baby to fill in some of the emptiness I have in my heart and in my life, I know happiness will never be complete with out Destiny but at least it will be more bearable than it is now without her here...
So I want all women to please make sure that your Dr gets involved in your labor, Make sure that if you feel something is not right that they listen to you even if you have to scream and make sure they do something about it fast...Also make sure that even if you are low risk like I was that the hospital has an icu with enough beds just in case bc just bc your pregnancy was low risk doesnt mean that your baby wont have any issues when he/she is born like breathing issues and all,
And please make sure you take control of your labor and of your body Not the Nurses. It is your body, your baby so if you sense something is wrong, do something about it and dont take NO for an answer...What killed my baby was the lack of involvement, of attention, of monitoring, of actions, of speed and over all the lack of professionalism.. DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU AND YOUR BABY....And remember the limit for the vacuum and the forcep usage is only 3xs no more then that.
As for me I will continue to ttc until I have another baby I'm not going to stop until this happens for me again I'm going to fight for it the same way I fought for my Daughter and I'm never givin up , bc it is the most beautiful thing any women can go through, and is the most beautiful feeling in the world.....This is in honor and memory of our Destiny Desire who is now Safe in the Arms of Jesus but some day will be in my arms again for eternity, until then she will always be in my heart, mind,and soul....
And for those of you strugglin with infertility don't give up , fight for what you want. It will happen to you, Where theres a will there is a way and if there is enough love and effort it will happen...Good luck to all and God Bless....
SOME PEOPLE JUST DREAM OF ANGELS I HELD ONE IN MY ARMS....
LOVE DESTINYS MOMMY..
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