Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
my little angel:)
me and my boyfriend had been dating for a year before i found out i got pregnant, we would always use protection but then towards the end we just started having sex unprotected i was 15 and he was 24 , when i found out i was pregnant i was happy and scared, my mom was sad but supportive and my boyfriend was happy.i moved in with him and we were so happy together and he would always make me food and take care of me, at 3 months pregnant i found out i was going to have a boy but a week later my babys heart beat stopped! me and my boyfriend were so sad but i will always have my little baby boy in my heart <3 me and my boyfriend are still living together and im going to school and he is working but were not planning on another one yet maybe later , right now i am on brithcontrol, so girls things happen for a reason but get your education first.
not niceI found out in February that I was pregnant I was over the moon couldn't believe it. Went to my doctors had it confirmed, was given a midwife and from the get go I hated her, she made me feel childish, unsure of my body and my self. However, on monday night in march I started to bleed, it was heavy or painful so I rung my midwife and asked her opinion, she said don't worry it may be due to sexual intercourse, unfortunate I listened to her advice and did nothing, I bled constantly for 2months until I got my scan date through, I had in the mean time told my midwife I was still bleeding and she still insisted its nothing. I went for my 12week scan only to find nothing I had suffered what medics call a missed miscarriage, I still had the pregnancy sack inside of me, I was advised that within 2 weeks it would all come away as a period. 2 weeks passed no period I waited another month before seeing my gp who immediately sent me up to the hospital , they found that the sack was still growing inside of me and my body hadn't expelled the pregnancy. I was admitted into hospital and I opted for a medical management which is one tablet followed 24hrs by cervical tablets. Unfortunate for me I started to bleed heavily in hospital before any treatment. A kind nurse told me I'd still need the first tablet and maybe the cervical ones if my body hadn't finished expelling this sack. I went back to the hospital after 24hrs and was internally examined and found my cervix had closed so they assumed all had happened and all was fine. However one month later I had the most awful period I couldn't walk for the pain. The day after I started my period I was in agony as I stood in my kitchen I felt a huge what I thought was a clot come away from me. I ran to the toilet only to find this huge grey sack on my pad! So with everything all the examinations and prodding and tablets my body had dealt with it in its own way! It was the most horrific ordeal I have ever been through, I'd I hadn't have lost my baby I would nearly be due now. My bit of comfort is the thought of my 3 year old she keeps me sane. To all those women out there who have suffered any type of miscarriage I earge you to listen to your own bodies they are telling you something is not right. I think about my loss everyday, yes it wasn't to be but it doesn't make it easier to deal with. Time heals, it does gradually get better. Just don't be silent about it, don't be like me.
Hardest choiceI don't no why but I just felt that I should wright my story,
When my boyfriend and I were together for about a month we found out that I was pregnant at first when I told him he was excited but when it came time to tell his parents he got scared and so did I but after he told them they started to say that I should get rid of it and that me and my boyfriend hadn't been together that long and all that kinda stuff but when I sat down with my boyfriend he started to say the same things and I started to feel that if I kept the baby he would leave me and after watching my mum be a single mum I couldn't do it so I let other people make that decision for me and it completely killed me inside and it took alot for my boyfriend to make it past it but now 8 1/2 months on we have been blessed again and are going to be the happiest family.
My sweet unexpected angelWhere to begin......it all seems so confusing. My partner and I found out we were having a baby at the end of august. It was such an amazing surprise . Some may say an accident but I always think that sounds so harsh! I have had a difficult year as I lost my father suddenly in June and for weeks afterwards I felt as though just the effort of breathing was too much to cope with some days. As the time passed I was able to manage my grief a little better although the pain doesn't really dwindle. When we discovered we were going to be parents we were so overwhelmed. This would have been my first child although my partner has two son's from a previous relationship. We didn't tell a sole and refused to get excited until I'd passed the 12 week mark. We got the date for the first scan and that date became the focus. If everything is fine at the scan, we'll spread the news. The evening before the day where I would have been 11 weeks pregnant I had a little spotting. I called the doctor and he said to rest up and see what happened as I wasn't suffering any pain. The spotting continued for the following 24hrs. The doctor then sent me to A&E as the pains had started and were growing stronger as time went by. The obstetrician took some blood and gave me some pain killers then sent me home. Two hours later after the pains getting so severe I though I was going to pass out I began to bleed heavily, then gave birth to my 11 week old baby while lying in my bath. I can't describe how horrified I was at having to look at my little angel in this state. I began to lose blood quickly and had to be taken back to A&E where I was taken into theatre and given an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding. I awoke feeling absolutely nothing. No pain, no emotion just a cold feeling mixed with a faint dashing of injustice. That was only yesterday morning. I'm home now and I'm terrified to face the loss. So far its been business as usual as I can't cope any other way. I'm scared that if I let myself feel again I'll be back in the place I was when Dad was taken from me. I really don't think I'm strong enough to go through this right now. Although our little angel was unexpected we desperately wanted our little family unit to be complete. How do I begin to face the future feeling so scared of how I feel? I don't blame anyone, I know nature took its course and that's the way its going to be but I have no idea how on earth I'm going to get through this. Its just so hard. Thank you for letting me tell my story, it helps to be totally honest and not have to put on a brave facexx
Missed MisscarriageI was 18 when i found out that I was pregnant with my first baby, I was so excited and had just gotten engaged to my partner at the time, it was like a dream come true.
I went to the doctor and he organised all my tests and an ultrasound to find out how far along I was, they couldnt see much at the ultrasound but estimated me to be about 5 weeks and told me I would be due around the 1st May 2011. I was extatic :)
I then started experiencing horrible morning sickness, then around the 8 week mark the sickness stopped, by my 12 week mark 2 days before my next ultrasound I realised i wasnt really showing at all, but just put it down to everyones body is different.
I walked into the hospital nervous for some unknown reason, but just passed it off as me being silly. We walked into the room with smiles on our faces and I was told to lay on the bed and that "this gel may be a bit cold" with a chuckle.
The technician then made the connection of the machine to my skin and I then seen my baby hadn't grown past the 7 week mark, there was no heartbeat and was completley lifeless. The technician then looked at me with sadness in his eyes, and told me he wanted to go get a second opinion, i couldn't bare to see that twice, I then got up in shock and left. I went straight to my Mum and finally broke down.
My partner at the time cried with me but, i still felt so alone.
I went to the doctors the next day, scared of what he was going to tell me I took my older sister with me for support. I had no signs of bleeding and my uterus was still completley closed. He told me to wait a week and if nothing had happened to call the hospital to organise a D&C or a certain tablet that brings on misscarriages under 9 weeks (thats what i opted for).
A week later and nothing, I then rung the hospital and attended an appointment they then called my doctor down to do the procedure, little did I know these so called tablets were to be vaginaly inserted not orally taken, I for some reason freaked out and left with the midwife telling me how stupid I was.
This was October 6th 2010, My fiance at the time left me October 28th 2010 I realised then i really was alone and the depression kicked in.
I spent the next 5 months partying, drinking and really not giving a crap about my life, the worst part was I was still carrying a deceased child around in my stomach! Luckily my uterus stayed closed otherwise I would have been in some serious trouble! In March 2011 I finally started to bleed, I went to the hospital and they told me the reason my uterus had stayed so tightly shut was because even though my little one was no longer alive the placenta was still healthy and working, my body still thought I pregnant. I then continued into full labour and 30 hours of it, the hospital gave me 2 panadol and sent me home.
Luckily I had my Mum by my side the whole time, and the worst it got the more I needed her. 4:30am 30 hours later I felt a massive contraction and a sudden need to push. I tried running to the toilet but, it was too late. I thought I soiled myself or something shocked I walked to the toilet and took my pants down only to see my placenta, the umbilical cord and a tiny sack all still perfectly attached.
This made me scream and break down, but was also such a relief to know I could finally move on and my little one could bbe at rest. I screamed for my Mum and she cleaned everything up and sent me to the shower. I then realised all the pain was gone, i cried for days but I'm so glad I could do it all without an operation! I got my grieving period and i was so proud of myself for it.
I will never ever forget my first born child, and the love will never fade. But, believe it or not the pain has. The guy i was with is a complete a**hole and never deserved a beautiful baby in the first place, and i honestly dont think i was entirely ready either!
3 Months later I found out I was pregnant again, I was terrified as my boyfriend and I had only been together for a month, My first ultrasound was terrifying I had the same feeling as the first time, but to my surprise bubs had a strong heartbeat and was completley healthy. Im now 30 weeks pregnant and due 29th Dec 2011 with a beautiful baby girl <3 We've never been happier :)
Just goes to show, dont ever give up.. And no matter what the situation your strong enough to overcome anything.
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