Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
I already have 2 healthy little boys, aged 5 and 2, and in Jan 2007 I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd baby, things quickly turned ugly, I was constantly sick, I could barely get out of bed to get my 5 yo to school most mornings, I was sleeping constantly, I couldn't even drink water without being sick. I had a blood test, which showed my blood sugar was dangerously low; I suffer from hypoglycemia already so to have got this news was so hard to deal with. I have no family support around me for my 2 boys, and my ex was no help to me and my new partner who I had been with less then 2 months had no idea how to cope with what I was going through. The doctor gave me a choice, I could be hospitalized every few days so they could drip feed me, or I could terminate my pregnancy. I chose the termination because I needed to be here for my little boys. I felt so guilty.
Over the next few months I started to regain my emotional strength, and after long talks with my now fiancÚ, we decided to try for another baby, he was scared and not sure what to expect, but I fell pregnant nonetheless. I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks ago.
About a week after I found out I was having mild cramping, I thought nothing of it, just thought it was normal. I was so thrilled with the way this pregnancy was going, I was hardly sick, I could eat anything I wanted. When I was pregnant with both of my boys I had morning sickness the whole way through. I was ecstatic; I thought I could finally enjoy one of my pregnancies.
Then last Monday I started spotting, I knew something wasn't right, I went straight to the ER and the doctor took my blood, my HCG was excellent, they did an internal and the cervix was still closed, so I was sent home with a referral for an ultrasound the next day.
I was so nervous, when I went for the ultrasound, the doctor told me he couldn't see anything in my sack, he could see it, but he estimated me to be only about 4-5 weeks pregnant, to early to see a heartbeat, I thought I was more like 7-8 weeks along. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought I had my dates really wrong. We still remained positive the baby was ok.
I had another HCG test on Friday and the results came back higher then they were on Monday but not as good as I had hoped.
Then on Friday I miscarried our baby, I found my yolk sack and the tiny fetus in my pad. I was shocked, angry and devastated at what I had seen. I am still not quite sure how I am going to deal with it.
I have lost 2 babies with in one year, I am not sure if I want any more children now.
Our lost babyI found out yesterday that there was not a fetal heartbeat on my 8 week ultrasound. My doctor has told me my options are a D&C or to simply wait for a miscarriage. I have 3 beautiful children who make me laugh every day and I am so grateful for them!
It is hard for me to believe that this one didn't make it since all 3 others were so problem free. I think I need a little more time before deciding on a D&C but my OB says the longer I wait, the greater the chance of infection and risk. What a choice! This makes me EXTRA grateful to God for the babies I do have and my heart goes out to the women who have suffered pregnancy losses. I now feel your pain.
I had a missed miscarriage about 18 months ago. I knew right from the start that I was pregnant, my breasts were so painful and I could only eat soup. As I am diabetic I went for a scan as soon as I could to find out how far along I was. In the first scan the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat and he thought I was very early in my pregnancy so he decided to do a more detailed one, no heartbeat, he then decided that I should get an internal one.
The lady doing the scan was very nice but she had an odd look on her face. We were thinking she would be all happy and pointing out the baby and it's heartbeat. Not for one minute did we expect to be told that there was no heartbeat. I just said to her that I did a test at home and it said that I was pregnant and asked why I had been feeling the way I had been feeling if I wasn't pregnant. She said that I was 10 weeks gone but it could of stopped growing up to 3 weeks ago. We were totally devastated. I was given the option of getting pills to start the "process", waiting to see if it would happen itself or a D&C.
We wanted to get out so we decided to wait and see. My fiancÚ doesn't talk about his feelings and didn't want people to know about the miscarriage, as we hadn't told anyone that I was pregnant, not even my parents. I agreed and kept it all to myself. I sat at home for a week crying, not speaking to anyone and then I decided I couldn't do it anymore and arranged to go to hospital and get the tablets to start the process. We both worked at the same place and he didn't want it getting out so I went by myself to start it off. I drove my self 11/2 hrs to the hospital to sit for 1/2 hour and get pills to drive 11/2 hrs home again on my own. I now think that I should be over it and moving on but I feel so alone and I feel so much resentment towards my fiancÚ.
My family is a big part of my life and I can tell mum and dad anything and it is totally killing me that I have not told them about this. I still spend days crying because I am so alone. If I could go back, the first person that I would speak to would be my mum because I know that she would help and comfort me. I hope that anyone reading this does what's right for them and not what they think they should do to keep the peace or save face. Ever since going through the process I have not had any contact from any professional regarding my miscarriage, not even to check how I was doing. I think that they will have no choice now but to see me as I cannot go on like this. I need to get my head and my feelings sorted out, I just want to go back to the fun loving girl that I once was.
Unknown feelingI was so excited that I was pregnant but being so young I especially wanted everything to go right and be done before the baby came, that was: buy a car, get a house, earn lots of money and be happily supported by my other half and my family, my fiancÚ the person who would be my baby's father was happy the first time I read out that the pregnancy test was positive but me being so shocked didn't believe it straight away and took another test three days later, even though I had not come on my period I just wanted to be sure.
Within the following three days I took another test this time sure I was pregnant as it said positive straight away, I was happy but even though he said he was he then came up with the suggestion that I should think about my education which indicated to me that he wanted me to have an abortion. After sitting down and talking for a little while I decided that I couldn't consider having an abortion because it was a horrible thing, he on the other hand was still considering it as I was so young and he was a little older than me and our families did not know about us being together.
I was naturally scared as I knew we would have to deal with a lot of stress, upset and fighting due to me being so young and still in full-time education. Time went on and I was coming to terms with having to eventually tell my family and gradually get more excited about being a mum. Things were all right at home with my fiancÚ sometimes, but as I became more closer to my second trimester I had got more tired and a little more agitated than usual causing more arguments between us as this was both our first child and we were both scared and new to the parenthood.
I had just finished my first year at college now and was just going in for my exams so I was staying round at his house more, readily preparing things for our unborn and unable to study because of the pregnancy. During this time I had started getting more upset easily due to my growing hormones and my fiancÚ felt as if he needed more space from me whilst I had wanted to spend more time with him for support because we were the only persons that new about our baby as we were waiting for the right time to tell everybody else. Through most of the pregnancy I hadn't really eaten much due to morning sickness and couldn't really ask for help because none of my family knew. Then the worst thing would happen whilst stopping at a friends house I caught my fiancÚ cheating with our friend's girlfriend, how could this happen? I was so upset but for some reason I didn't let him know I knew, where as if I wasn't pregnant I think I would have made sure he did, I ran out so upset everything going through my mind, was that the only time? Did he not care that I was with him and carrying his baby?
I couldn't believe that my worst fears were true as I had, had suspicions before by the way he would act around her when she was with her boyfriend, now I understood why he hadn't told me he'd been round there sneakily, I was so hurt. All the stress he caused me was so unreal since all the way through the pregnancy I had worried about him cheating again as I had found out he had also cheated on me before I had conceived. I cried most of the night to sleep thinking how could I trust him and how would I cope, when I confronted him halfway through the night he had stormed out leaving me in more of a devastated state than before, I cried and cried all night and the next day and then I remembered I had an exam, I couldn't get the mental pictures out of my head as he was so special to me being my first partner and him being the one to break my virginity, I loved him so much and I didn't know what to do.
I tried to study but I just couldn't plus I was getting the most painful cramps in my stomach so I couldn't concentrate, at the time I just for some reason felt that they were like bad period pains which I usually got with my periods, but I was pregnant and just thought they were growing pains. I tried to study but ended up falling asleep with the pain like I did with bad periods, but something was different as when I woke up to my fiancÚ going out, the pain had not gone off, which was what usually happened with bad period pains.
So I said my goodbyes to my fiancÚ and went to the loo, I came out but the pain just got worse. Not even my gp knew I was pregnant as being so young I was scared he'd tell my parents so at the time I was trying to get into another gp but I hadn't been successful so I was own my own really. I lay down hoping the pain would ease off, I had told my fiancÚ before he had gone but we both put it down to growing pains and so he had gone out. I then felt a sharp painful pain shoot across my stomach several times and could feel my baby pushing outside of me. Not knowing what to do I quickly phoned my fiancÚ as he'd only left out about 5 minutes ago he said he come back but I went out to look for him, I also phoned the ambulance and told them I thought I was having a miscarriage, they came quick, I was so scared as I had started to bleed by now.
I was in the ambulance and reached the hospital quite quick they rushed me into the miscarriage unit and I waited for a doctor to come, by that time I was having severe contractions and my baby was ready to come, I asked my fiancÚ to call the doctor and he came after a while once my baby had already came out, he wasn't crying, I knew there wasn't really any chance of him crying either as he was only roughly 20weeks, I was so shocked and upset that I couldn't speak as they cut the umbilical cord and led him away, he was so small and not much bigger than my hand. I cried my fiancÚ comforted me whilst the nurse inspected me and put me on a drip after loosing so much blood, she used a metal object to check for the placenta and then told me I might need an operation to remove if it didn't come out. I couldn't think and a nice nurse came to check on me, giving me her condolences.
What had just happened, was this actually real? Yes, I wanted my baby back and now there was nothing I could do, I couldn't help but think that it was my fault because I cried so much, I stayed in over night and tried to get out as I had an exam in the morning and nay fiancÚ suggested I go and do it. I had to wait for the doctor to discharge me and give me my injections. My exam had already finished by now and I was still in the hospital, I was so upset and traumatized and all I wanted was to have my baby back with me. The doctor took down some more details and a lady came to speak to me about making arrangements a meeting with her about whether I wanted a funeral for our baby. Till this day I miss him just as much he's our little precious baby boy. Hope everybody who reads who has children cherishes them. They are all precious x
Loss at 8 weeksI lost my first baby at 8 1/2 weeks. I started with light bleeding. I went in for an ultrasound where they found no heartbeat, although one was detected at 6 1/2 weeks. I have not had any cramping and am going for a D andC tomorrow. I'm 36 and scared this may never happen for me.
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