Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
The loss of my baby
Well I'm 17 years old. I have been with my boyfriend for a lil over 7 months now. But around our 2 months of dating I found out I was pregnant. Yes I was on birth control the doctor had given me a pill for my acne and didn't tell me that it would counter act with it so stupid me not using a condom started having sex... yes I know stupid mistake and I found out I was pregnant about 2 months later... and on July 5th I had summer school and I left early b.c I had been bleeding like ever since I woke up and it kept getting worse so I called my mom she came and got me and we went straight to the ER and that's when they had told me that I had lost my baby.. I was 8 weeks and 5 days... I know it's not long but it really has taken a toll on me and I would just love to talk with other ppl that this happened to.
Glad, but sadI find myself 3 days after I'm pretty sure I miscarried feeling surprisingly sad, alone, and depressed. I wasn't hoping to have another child. I have 2 teenagers and a 10 year old already from previous relationships and they were more than enough for me to handle. Also, we are experiencing some tremendous financial problems including not having health insurance, so this definitely was not a good time to have another child. I also struggle with mood changes and depression. My cycle had been irregular the last few months with light "periods", but now I realize I was probably pregnant due to heavy bleeding when I shouldn't be having my period and other signs.
A few days ago I had cramping, lower back pain, and even small contractions and then heavy bleeding with at one time a large clot. When this was all happening I was thinking, oh, this is too bad, but I felt relief mostly and felt that way up until yesterday. Today, it hit stronger when I thought I was at a point of returning to exercise class and continuing my work search. I turned around and came home and have been crying. I thought I wasn't sad! My husband is very busy with work and school. Other than inform him about what I think happened and him saying he was sorry to show his compassion, he hasn't said anything more. I think he's trying to avoid talking about it and is unsure what to think too. This all feels so weird. I don't want to get pregnant again. I just can't handle it. I feel so fragile.
M/CI had my first pregnancy and had m/c at 2 weeks. Not too far along, but the fact was that I was pregnant. TTC for the past year 1/2. Period came on 9/23 and thought it was just heavy bleeding which lasted for almost three wks. I found out I was preg. On 10/12 and had m/c. Doctor told me since I had a natural m/c that I didnít have to wait until 2 or 3 per. But we decided to wait until I have at least 1 or 2 per. b/f trying again. Hopefully the next pregnancy will be a success. I pray and hope everyone on this site the best of luck TTC.
Room For One MoreI'm fortunate to already have two daughters, ages 11 and 13. Their father and I never married and we broke up when I was about 4 months along with my second daughter. My ex chose not to be a part of their lives in any way so this left me as a single parent of two children and certainly not wanting any more. Five years later I met a wonderful person and he initially was okay with not having any of his own. Through the years and 6 years later, we've decided that a child would be a blessing. I'd hoped that we would be married before but I suspected I was pregnant before this happened. Even though I spent so long believing I wouldn't have any more children, actually confirming my new pregnancy and even at the moment "I knew" I started having wonderful feelings of joy and love. We were both excited and I was reliving those feelings of being a mom again. I'd hoped to wait a while before breaking the news to everyone but my boyfriend was too happy to wait. Well, on a Saturday I began bleeding like my regular period about 5 to 6 weeks in and I felt something was wrong. The following Monday (after bleeding through the weekend) I called my doctor who said to come right in. After doing an ultrasound, he discovered that the pregnancy was no longer viable. I'd had a miscarriage and I would need to have a D & C to clear out any tissue left over. He scheduled surgery for that same night.
One of the hardest things was that we never mentioned to my girls that I was pregnant but they were aware that a baby was in our future. I didn't want them to know about the surgery so as not to worry them or scare them from a future pregnancy. My sister kept them overnight. I was tremendously nervous to go through the surgery but luckily that all went well. My doctor kept me off work the rest of the week but I had to let my manager know about this very private time we were going through.
My boyfriend and I came home about midnight. Just the two of us. And I was empty. Empty in spirit, emotion and child. I had to show a brave face at home because I didn't want to worry my girls. I told them I had vacation time.
It was hard to explain to the people that knew about the pregnancy that it was just no more. A couple of times I was congratulated and it was hard to explain what happened. I know it wasn't my fault and that I didn't do anything wrong. "Just one of those things" and that we "can try again". But trying again will never bring this child back, my child. I feel sorry and sad. I'm aware that it's a common thing but it's not a common thing with me. A few times I've seen babies or expectant mothers and think that would have been me about now.
Right now I feel such sadness and lack of control over my life. I feel like I can't talk about this to anyone that already knows what happened because they might feel like it's "enough, already" and somehow discount it. It's okay that they feel it's no big deal. I'm concerned that I feel it's still a big deal so I'm thinking about getting counseling. Right now I don't feel like I'm such a good parent to my daughters. I don't know what to do right away to help things get back to normal, whatever normal is.
My boyfriend and I will be getting married in about a month. It'll be a civil ceremony with just us and two witnesses and my girls. It seems rather quick but this time when we conceive again we'll be married. We do love each other and have the same goals for our future together. I'm happy about our marriage.
Altogether, though, I'm sad and feel like I can only cry when no one else is around only to quickly dry my tears and "snap out of it" when someone enters the room. I just don't know what to do.
My happy begining ending with a tragic lostI am only 17 years old and I was due to have a baby boy September 19, 2007. When I first out I was pregnant I was shocked but very happy that I was going to be a mom and I wanted this baby more than anything. I took very good care of the baby and myself. I had no complications at all. But when I got to be 36 weeks I noticed that my son wasn't kicking much as he used to. I thought it was normal since I was getting close to my due date.
When I went for my 37-week appointment I heard his heartbeat and everything was fine there was no sign of problems. But when I woke up Labor Day morning 4 days later fear went through my body. I knew some thing was not right. I called my doctor and told him I haven't felt the baby move for a long time. He told me to go the hospital. When I got there the nurses took me into a room and put the fetal monitor on my belly. Five minutes went by and their still was no sign of a heartbeat. I just thought maybe he's just lying weird and couldn't find it. Then my doctor brought the ultrasound machine in. I was so happy to see my baby boy on the screen but when I saw my doctorís face he looked concerned. He looked at me and said, ''I'm sorry but thereís just no heartbeat.''
I looked at the screen seeing him thinking he must be wrong. He pointed out where the heart was and I stared waiting for it to move and for everything to be ok. But it never did. It took me 5 minutes to realize that my baby boy that I carried with me for 9 months was gone. My heart is broken. Guilt is forever with me, thinking I could have done something, I know I could have done something to save him.
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