Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
it soooooo hard
My story starts about 3 months ago when I started to feel a bit different not like myself, not sick though, moody is what it was. Since I was about 5 days late I figured I would take a pregnancy test.
I came to work and took the test and it was positive. I never felt the feeling I felt right then; it was just so special to know that I had my child inside of me. I carried on happy. I bought diapers and clothing and any extra money I had I got things my baby needed.
Then last week on July 6th I went to docs for an ultrasound and my baby had died. It killed me. I feel dead inside and I donít know how to cope or if I can ever try again it hurts soooooooo bad.
so lost n confusedI was 11 weeks pregnant and out of nowhere I started bleeding and I went to the ER. They said I had a miscarriage. At first I didn't think it was going to affect me but like 2 3 days later I started having problems with my boyfriend.
I started getting more depressed. I felt useless, stupid and the only thing I did was cry. I wanted someone to come and hug me and tell me that everything was going to be ok but no one did that.
I had a lot of friends that were pregnant and I always ask myself why me? Why not them? They seem so happy and me no comment in the outside I was always laughing and smiling but in the inside I wanted to die.
Our Angel BabyMy husband and I have been together since 8th grade. We have 2 sons, ages 9, and 7. I was on the depo shot since I had our 2nd son off and on up until a little over a year and a 1/2 ago. My husband is an ex marine; served 3 times over seas and sometimes when he came home from Iraq he would surprise me, so I didn't have a chance to go get the shot. But we never got pregnant so when we started trying to get pregnant and didn't, we thought maybe I was sterile from being on the shot for so long.
Finally June 28th the test confirmed we were pregnant we were soooo excited had names, crib, everything picked out for our little angel but the next week (on a Wed.) I started having abdominal pain my stomach was hurting so bad that Fri. I had a little spot of blood I kept having a little bit of spotting Sat., then Sun. on Mon. I was getting ready for work and there was more than just spotting I went to my Dr. and they ordered a sonogram for what they called "threatened abortion" when we got the sonogram we were told there was no baby in the yolk sac.
We were sooo scared we didn't know what that meant so I called my Dr. he said it meant 3 things 1) there never was a baby 2) the baby died and 3) I was 5 1/2 weeks and the yolk was 10mm so I could've still been to small for the baby to be seen but added there was a lot of fluid around the yolk sac and my HCG levels were low, which is a sign that we were going to lose the baby. He went on to say even if the baby survived with the fluid around the yolk sac the placenta wouldn't attach so the baby wouldn't survive either way.
The next day @ 2am July 12th I miscarried our baby. It is hard on us cause we wanted our little angel so bad I can't help but wonder everyday what sex it would've been, what it would've looked like, what color would it's hair, eyes, complexion have been, what it's first word would've been etc. My pregnancies with my sons were high risk and it' s like with each pregnancy it gets worse and worse but we want to try again. My husband at first didn't cause he didn't want to have to go through what we have with these 3, and he doesn't want to put me at risk but we've decided to try again as soon as my body heals.
Iím still bleeding really bad and still having bad pains so please pray for a speedy recovery, a good pregnancy on our next try, and a healthy baby!!!!
twin miscarriageI was pregnant with twins. I just found out a week before I lost them that they were twins. I went to a regular doctors appointment and we saw the babies on the ultrasound and the nurse was pointing things out and I remember thinking that there was a lot of movement and she said there were two in there.
She was so surprised she didnít see that before. I was terrified! Twins! After the initial shock, I was so excited. I never in my wildest dreams expected twins, and I never wanted 2 at one time. That changed once I found out. I was so excited and so was my 3-year-old son. Since it was the nurse practitioner who found them, I had to go back the next week for the dr to see me and I got the bad news.
Sometime in that week I lost them. I was devastated. We were about to plan my ultrasound at the hospital, which is way better than the dr. I already bought them stuff. I had to deliver them as if they were full term because the doctor was afraid they were too big for a D&C at 14 1/2 weeks and he didnít want to endanger me especially with twins. I was okay with that because I wanted my babies to be kept in the best possible shape. I knew it was going to be hard both physically and mentally but I knew I had to do it.
I delivered 2 babies, which looked to be boys, but we were not completely sure. They were so small and it is so hard. I cry for them almost everyday. It is so amazing how you can love someone so much who you never met. They were my babies! I have had a lot of bleeding since then and had to go back to the hospital this past weekend because of it. I lost a lot of blood and they admitted me and had to perform a D&C because all of the placenta had not come out. I am just hoping everything will be okay now and I can plan on becoming pregnant again.
I wanted a baby so bad and was blessed with two who God wanted to take back with him. I will never forget them and never regret them. I will love them forever. I want another baby, but I know it wonít replace my twin babies. I know I will love the new one just as much, but I will never forget my twins!
One of my biggest disappointmentsDuring my sophomore year of college, I got involved with a guy I'd known for over a year. He was living and teaching in a town a couple hours from where I went to school. We had met when I was a freshman and he was almost ready to student-teach, and he'd had a girlfriend at the time, but things didn't work out between them. We first got together in September of 2006, decided it was a bad idea because we'd never see each other, and got back together in early 2007.
We still didn't see each other much the second time around, and the little time we did get to spend together (a weekend every few weeks) was not wasted. We weren't too careful, and by mid-March I was exhausted and nauseated all the time. After having to bolt from class twice to vomit and being unable to stomach the smell of any food, I began to worry.
He just thought I had a stomach bug of some sort and things would be okay. He broke things off with me in late March and went on vacation. Two days after he left, my roommate brought up the topic I had been hoping to avoid. She gave me a pregnancy test and ordered me into the bathroom to take it. It was a very faint positive, but we both saw it and knew. When he asked me about how the test had gone, because I'd told him I was going to take one if my symptoms kept up, I told him the test was negative. By this point I knew he didn't want a baby, and now I regret keeping it from him because the stress of hiding it was too much to handle.
Two days after he came back from vacation, I went home for Easter weekend. I felt sick and crampy all the way home, but I attributed it to school stress. My mother and I made a stop at her boyfriend's house. I got out of the car and collapsed in the driveway. I was bleeding everywhere.
At the hospital, the doctor was able to confirm that I had been pregnant and was losing the baby. I was almost eight weeks pregnant. It was one fo the most painful things I had to go through, even with the medications they gave to calm me down. That night, April 6, 2007, I lost my baby.
While I know I wasn't perfectly ready to be a mother, I got excited about the possibility in the week I had between finding out and losing it. After I lost the baby, I told its father, who reacted as I expected: telling me he was sorry but he was glad that I didn't have to go through with a pregnancy and raising a baby. Sometimes I wonder what our baby would have been like, and when I see people with babies (I work in the tourism industry) I tear up, thinking "that could have been me in a few months". I don't know what it will be like in early November, when I should be giving birth to a beautiful baby and adjusting to a dual life as a mother and a scholar.
Almost two months after losing the baby, I woke up at two in the morning with severe cramps, a fever of 103, and cold sweats, not to mention I was shaking so hard I could barely stand. I went to the emergency room at the hospital I currently live near (not the one I went to when I was losing the baby) and found out that not all the tissue had passed. I have endometriosis and hadn't had a period since losing the baby, but that is perfectly normal for me. Finally I had a D & C and things are starting to get back to normal with my body, but things between the baby's dad and I will never be the same again. After our breakup we'd remained friends but he has gotten frustrated with me for still being upset over the loss. He sees it as a divine intervention because the time wasn't right, and thinks it's saved me some trouble and time. I don't see it that way, and it still affects me every day.
Before I lost my baby, I didn't have any idea how physically and emotionally difficult it is to lose a child. Now I know, and when one of my friends miscarried at fourteen weeks recently, I was able to understand her pain in a way nobody else could.
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