Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.

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2 misscarages 1 yr apart and still no luck

I was very young when I got pregnant the with my first baby.
One day me and my soon tomb husband were having unprotected sex I was 16( yes I know young and not very smart ) I got pregnant in nov and misscarued in feb!
I was devastated with what had happened. It all started one day out of no where I just started cramping and the. I started spotting pinkish I was all most 12 and still hadn't gone to the doctor I was new at all that so it took me lo get to go through the process bc I hadn't told my family so I had to do everything alone, anyways I started spotting and that night I went straight to the hospital bc I knew that wasn't normal, I had tons of blood clots coming out and I could stop the bleeding everything happened so fast so I call the hospital and told them what was happening they told me I had to get there fast b. It wasn't normal, they also told me to check the toiled everytime I bled bc the baby could have came out without me feeling it but it didn't. Tmi sorry
So I arrived at the hospital they told me I had had a spontaneous abortion I still don't know what that means. They ran ultrasounds but they didn't let me see it the weird thing was that I had to push my baby out which was weird and scary to me the next day I had a D&C. and they gave me pills to put down there to stop the bleeding at home we were all so devastated at this time I was already living with my fiance.
A week after I went to the doctor and got on birth control I got on the shot I believe its called depo well I gained 40 pounds on that thing I only got ut for 3 months it was horrible.
Months later I found out I was pregnant again I dont remember when I got pregnant I just remember being 9 weeks pregnant in Jan so I went to the doctor for my 1 st ultrasound and the doctor had told me my baby was to small it was measuring 6 weeks and my baby had no longer a heart beat I was so sad and depressed I put on another 20 pounds so I decided to go on the pill it made me very sick so the doctor told me to get on mirena so i did 2 months later I was having shocks down my legs and my stomache they were horrible the pain would come and go whenever it felt like it I was getting very scared bc I would get migrants everyday!
So I went to the doctor and he told me he couldn't check me bc I was fine he didnt want me to get pregnant again bc I was to young which I agReed but I new my body and those pai s weren't normal so I made him check me and give me an ultrasound he said something wasn't right so he finally decided to give me a pap smear and something came back wrong so he finally took out that MIRENA and it was BLACK my body had rejected it he said that my body was rejecting it and that it was accumulating bacteria that's y I was getting pain and if I would have waited a few more weeks the bacteria would have spread in my utterus and I would have had to take my uterus out I was so scared so I didnt and haven't used any birth control since !
I am now 19 still with my nubby loving each other and still no signs of an angel!
We r ready to start our little family.
Can any one help or give me advice on what to do I'm very worried bc my mom had alot of misscarages also I'm scared I might be the same way!


5 tears

I have just miscarried for the fifth time. I feel so numb to all the clinical side of things,testing, where and who to see next, do we try again and if i hear "it's normal one in four pregnancy's end in miscarriage", i think i will scream.
I have had the routine testing done after the third miscarriage and was told that there is nothing that they can find that would be causing the misc.
So we tried again only to loss our baby at 9 weeks the pain is so overwhelming and it's so hard not to be selfish and think why me?

After doing some research i found that maybe the reason for all the early misc may be my hormone levels (progesterone) so with guidence from my doctor and a fertility team which have great success rates, my partner and i tried again. Straight away i knew i was pregnant even with the extra hormones playing havoc. we were so positive and for the first time i actually felt like i was glowing. at ten weeks further than we had made it before i was starting to believe that we might finally have our family. BUT before my fortnightly check up my instinct had kicked and i was having doubts so my partner came with me to the doctor. I had previously had a blood test done and the results showed that my progesterone level had dropped. The doctor wasn't to concerned as he said that at this stage of pregnancy it is normal but because of my history an ultrasound would be advisable to put my mind at rest. looking at the sreen and the sonographers face i new our dreams were over. The stopped heartbeat inside me...... ripped it's fifth hole in my heart .
It is the sadnes and emptiness of the thought of never being a mother that is hard to accept. I can only read your posts and take some comfort in the fact that my misc all happened early. x


goodbye angel

I guess by writing this it is my way of not letting go of my unborn baby, but accepting that on the 7th December Iím not going to give birth and in years to come Iím not going to be celebrating birthdays. So here goes.
I found out that I was pregnant on the 6th March. If Iím being honest at the time I thought it was the worst day of my life. I was scared. I was only 17 and not in a relationship. I had always thought that I wanted to go to university, become a teacher THEN have children. A baby at 17, that wasnít part of my ďplanĒ. I hadnít got a clue what I was going to do. In the space of 3 minutes my life was turned upside down.
My head was a complete mess. I didnít know if I should keep the baby or get rid of it. My head was saying get rid of it because of what I wanted out of life and my heart was saying keep it because deep down I didnít think I could have an abortion; after all I had always said I couldnítÖ my heart won. Yeah my life was about to change so dramatically but I knew it wouldnít be ruined; I wanted to be a mum to my baby.
4th May; I had my first scan at 9 weeks. The sight of seeing my baby on the screen was one of amazement and beauty. You couldnít make out any features yet so it was really just a smudge, but that smudge with its little heartbeat was my baby. It was at that moment that I really knew I loved my baby. 7.12.11, what was meant to be the most amazing day of my life; my due date.
I was so happy. I started planning my future around the baby. Put uni on hold, take a year out. All that kind of stuff. I knew that soon I could start buying clothes and preparing to be a mum. Me and a friend nicknamed the bubba ďwigglesĒ. I donít know why but I guess it sounded cute. Another friend started planning the babyís first holiday. I could already tell that this littleíun was going to be one spoilt baby. It was going to have 100ís of mummies. 
Before I never really looked forward to my future, it was nothing exciting but now I was looking forward to everything that was to come. I look at it now and think if only I knew what was only around the corner.
I got to about 12 weeks when I started bleeding. I didnít think too much of it as I had heard that it was quite common. However I started getting worried when stomach pains were a regular occurrence. Then I woke up in the night with very heavy bleeding and extreme pain. I knew what it was deep down I just didnít want to believe it until I was told. Then it was confirmed I had had a miscarriage. I donít recall much more of that day; nothing that was being said was really registering. All I could think was my baby is gone. My life had yet again been turned upside down.
To this day i still feel anger, emptiness, overwhelming sadness, confusion. I guess they are the main emotions. Itís been six weeks since my little one left me and went to be with the angels but each night I still shed tears and I think I always will. Each night I share my day with Baí and then send a kiss up to the stars as I prepare to dream about what should have been.
Unanswered questions constantly float around my head. Was I to blame? Was the miscarriage my fault? Should I have done things differently? I know I will never know what caused me to miscarry, the not knowing hurts so bad though. These unanswered questions are going to be with me for the rest of my life.
At 12 weeks people may not really class that as a baby. But that smudge was my baby. It may not have had a name but it was meant to have a future and that had been cruelly snatched away. I guess until I had the miscarriage I didnít realise how much I actually loved my baby. I think the sense of loss that I feel could be compared to that of losing a loved one you have known all your life because that is what it feels like. There is emptiness in my heart and in my future that my littleíun was meant to fill.
In the space of a couple of months my future has changed dramatically, twice. Iím no longer going to be a mum in the December, and Iím never going to be able to celebrate my babyís birthdays in years to come. The 7th December will always be our day though, just not the way I would have hoped for. Iím no longer going to be able to buy baby clothes and this future that I was planning around my baby is no longer going to happen.
I find myself wanting to sleep and never wake up, that isnít because I donít want to face tomorrow but because when I sleep I dream, and when I dream I still have my baby, and when I have my baby I am happy again. Reality kills when I wake up.
Iíd give everything up this instant if it meant that even for only 1 minute I could hold my baby and look into her eyes. That image of that beautiful smudge with a heartbeat will always be mine even if my special little baby canít ever fully be.
Right now each day is the same, wake up, cry, force myself to keep busy, and then cry myself to sleep, I guess the good days will come around again soon, and bubba will always be a part of those good days.
Who knows what my future has in store for me. I certainly didnít realise my littleíun was around the corner and although I didnít get my happy ending I was so happy and I know that I can reach that happiness again in my life with wiggles right there with me. If you had asked me 12 months ago what I wanted to be when I was older, I would have said a teacher. If you ask me that same question now, I will reply saying ďI want to be happyĒ.
The impact that bubba has had on me is incredible. She has showed me that I have to keep on fighting, even through the darkest of days. And the light at the end of the tunnel is my precious little angel shining brighter than anyone. She is making me into a better person, and for that I am so grateful. She will forever give me strength, she will forever give me hope, she will forever give me courage and she will forever give me love.


Losing my babies

I met my first love when i was 15, he was 19. I always thought he too old for me, and i guess i was right. I fell in love and i believed he was too, so we had sex. Unprotected sex. So i was no shock when i found out i was pregnant. I thought my boyfriend was going to leave me because we had only been dating for 3 months, and i was right. He never said a word to me after i told him i was pregnant. In fact i havent seen him since.

After i found out i was pregnant, i only told my best friend and my mom (and of course my boyfriend). My best friend supported me but told me i should think about getting an abortion. My mom felt the same way, but understood if i didnt want ot have one. She was a single mother herself at the age of 23, so she sorta understood what i was going through. I decided not to get an abortion. And at 16 weeks pregnant i found out i was having a baby boy. I was thrilled and was going to name him Liam Price ***** ( i wanted him to have the same laast name as my ex, in hopes that he would change his mind).

However carrying a pregnancy to full term at 15 was not really going to be the case for me. I started to get really bad cramps at 13 weeks pregnant but i thought it was just normal for that to happen, it wasent. Soon after i found out the sex of my baby i noticed a weird brown spotting in my underwear. Not to long after that i lost my baby.

I was devistated. I cried all the time, and i felt guilty because i blamed myself. When my best friend found out what had happened she told me i should be happy because i wouldnt have to deal with a baby at 15. That's how most people reacted. My mother was there for me though, and she said maybe it was ment to be. So instead of crying about it, i pretended to be happy. And in less than 3 weeks after it happened i had started going to school again. And life went on.

Soon i was in my senior year of high school and i was pretty happy to be graduating. I was happy to move on to college and to start a life. Me and my boyfriend had plans to get married that summer, right before college so we could live together (his parents didnt believe in living together before marriage). About half way through my senior year, i found out i was pregnant. Me and boyfriend were thrilled about it since we had wanted kids, but not until we graduated college. I told my moma dn she told me she was happy for me, but i knew that she secretly wasent. His parents were horrfied because they had no idea we had been having sex. My mother knew but she assumed we were being careful.

I was a little worried about this pregnancy because i had miscarried my other baby. When i asked the doctor he said i should be fine, and there was nothing to worrie about. So me and my boyfriend moved on and were finnishing our senior year. And at 20 weeks pregnant i learned i was pregnant with to baby boys. I was really happy, but my boyfriend started to seem less and less happy about the situation. I picked out the names for our sons because my boyfriend told me he didnt care. We were going to name them Bentley Andrew Smith and Ayden Price Smith. I used the middle name of my lost baby because i wanted to remember him somehow.

At 23 weeks pregnant, a month before graduation, my boyfriend left me. He said he wasent ready to be a dad, and that he might not be the father because i had been pregnant before with someone else's baby before getting pregnant with his. Basically he was calling me a slut. I was heart broken. pretty soon i relized i couldnt raise to babies on my own while trying to go to college, so i decided to give them up for adoptption. Bentley and Ayden were born at 35 weeks pregnant via C-section. I never saw my boys nor did i ever meet they're new parents but that is how i wanted it.

I am now 19 and getting ready for my second year of college. I don't talk to me ex-boyfriend, since i changed the college i was going to. Soon after i left home for college my mother moved to New York so now visting home isant anywhere near him. He tried to contact me, and he did, because my friend gave him my new number. I never told him about giving our boys up for adoption. I don't feel like he deserves to know. He assumes i live my my mother in New York, and i let him believe that.

I wanted to share my story because i know how heart breaking it is to lose a baby. I was young when i got pregnant, both times but somehow i found a way throught it. When i lost Liam i thought about how i would have a baby one day. When i got the chance to have that baby i wanted so badly i realized i was being selfish. I know that the twins i gave birth to are no longer my babies and i know that they will be much happier with their parents, who had everything they need to be a parent.

Heather Smith


I am 16 years old and i am get a job and 6 months ago i found out that i was pregnant my friends were over the moon about it but when i told my family they packed my bags and told me to go and live somewhere else because they didn't want me no more.
So i went to ilve with my boyfriend Liam he was over the moon and so was his family, but on day when i went to school i miscarried and i didn't know what to do i didn't want to tell my boyfriend or his family becuase they was so pleased for me and my friends. So i went to the school nurse and i told her she told me that we would get though it together and we did and know i have lift school i am 7 months pregnant and me and Liam will be getting married next year. so there is light at the end of the tunnle, you can go to anyone and thy will help you. :)

Becky Plumb

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