Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
The loss of a child from the rocky relationship
This event was a shock. I have been involved my partner for two years. We had broken up a week before because he wasn't taking care of business. I told him to do so and that I would see him when he got it together again.
I found out a week later that I was pregnant and called him immediately and he said that he would be over in a matter of hours. Then he called me saying that he was at a Greek Festival and would I like to join him there. I started to ball my eyes out feeling so disgusted by his lack of consideration of my feelings. After this he said that I called him after being devastated all day, looking at all of the beautiful children while out at a restaurant. Next, the next day we talked. He was very non-chalant about everything explaining how he didn't have a house for me to stay in and that he would be a part time dad, that he wouldn't like to marry and more ridiculous jargon. So then we decided to talk it over again.
Two days later he said that he would meet me but he didn't make it in time, because he owns a restaurant, next day he canceled as well so I told him that I would just decide on my own what i was going to do about the pregnancy. Well never heard from him until five days later. He had emailed me a poem about how much he wanted to have a baby with me. Within minutes of reading this poem, the blood went right through my underpants and jeans and than I sat there having a miscarriage.
I am determined that I had this miscarriage due to the amount of pure devastation that this man caused me. I guess I let him.
first miscarriageI was terribly thin and had lots of exam stress but my partner and I found out we were pregnant, we were over the moon. We’d been trying for a yr or so. Although circumstances weren’t ideal it was still our dream to have a family (large if given the chance).
I reached the 10th week and went for my scan as I was worried due to spotting. The scan showed all was well although the baby was small, the gyno said to come back in two weeks. But the following week, I had extensive bleeding so I went back to the gyno, he said the words we were dreading, 'there’s no heart beat'. That evening the bleeding worsened and I had contractions when the clots were passing. I knew about miscarriage as my sister-in-law had, had many. We were devastated.
It takes a lot out of you when you have built your hopes so high and then all of a sudden you get dropped like that. But God had planned a better life for that baby, where no harm or evil would ever come, in heaven with him.
I am thankful even when I feel loss.
We continued to try for a baby and have a beautiful little boy now.
So don’t ever give up.
SadMy partner and I found out we were pregnant in February. It was a bit of a shock to me and I was scared and a bit unsure, but I came around to the idea that I was having a baby with the man I love.
I was enjoying being pregnant (but I did feel that something wasn't right). I already have a little girl who is 4 years old, so I thought that because I felt so different with this pregnancy, it must be a boy.
At about 7 weeks, I started to bleed. It was just spotting, so I went to the doctor and he reassured me and told me to take it easy and not to worry myself too much. The bleeding stopped for a while. Then I started to bleed a lot, so I asked my partner to take me to the hospital and we had a scan and I saw my baby's heart beat, so it put my mind at ease.
The bleeding carried on and on the 10th week. The following day we went back to the hospital. I thought I was overreacting, but I knew something wasn't right. We were told to come back the following day for a scan.
We went for the scan and it was the worst day of my life. Looking at the scan, I could no longer see our baby's heart beat. The doctor didn't even need to say anything: I was already crying. I felt more sorry for my partner - it was his first child. I did feel like a failure, but I know that those are the types of emotions you go through.
I now want to try for another, but my partner wants everything to be perfect - which is understandable. It's something you will never get over, but will learn to live with.
I hope and wish that whoever reads these see the light at the end of the tunnel, because you can and you willl get through it. You have all these people's thoughts to prove it.
my little manI was 18 when my husband and I found out I was pregnant. It was June 8-05. We were both so happy and couldn't wait to meet my little man.
We had tried to have a baby sooner but it didn't happen. I was told I couldn't have a child of my own.
On December 27-05 I was having pain in my side and thought I was in labor but when I got to the ER I found out I had loss me little boy. I thought I was going to die.
On Richards’s due date we found out we were expecting again. I gave birth to Jason Richard on January 1-07. Jason is now five months old and doing great.
StillbornI went for my first scan three days before my wedding... what a shock. We had suspected that I was pregnant, but I expected the doctor to perform a blood test and not a scan. There he was, our little guy, 9 weeks old already with a strong heartbeat. We had a perfect pregnancy - no morning sickness or anything. We found out at about 16 weeks that he was indeed a he. My heart dropped as I was hoping for a little girl... but it didn't take long before I accepted the fact that we were going to have a boy. My husband was so excited and started planning the days ahead with the little guy. During week 35 of our pregnany, I noticed that Dylan wasn't moving as much. This concerned me, but after a visit to the gynae and running a non-stress test we were put at ease... baby was doing just fine. A day or two followed with little movement from Dylan. Stressed, we spoke to a number of qualified people who reassured us that it was only because he had less space to move. On the Saturday, we paid another visit to the maternity ward. Again, according to the nurse, baby was doing just fine and I had an anterior placenta which buffered a lot of the movement. I also received some of the usual comments: "You've probably been too busy to notice his movements." We left feeling slightly better but still concerned.
On Sunday morning, Dylan gave such hard kicks I was over the moon. My little guy was fine... but that was it... no more... I could feel his body move from side to side - which I assumed was a sign that he was in fact okay. On the Tuesday, I decided to pay another visit to the doctor. He did a scan which revealed the worst image I have seen in my life... my little guy's chest cavity without a heartbeat. I was sent up to the maternity ward where I waited for my husband to arrive. An hour later, they wheeled me into the theatre where Dylan was born.
My biggest regret is that I never held or saw my baby boy. At the time, everything was just too overwhelming and we followed the advise of a doctor who recommended not holding the baby, because we weren't sure what he would look like. I figure that Dylan died on Sunday morning... after I felt his last kicks. We never found out what caused his death which at that stage was so difficult to accept. We would never have any answers. I miss my little man each and every day... he is our little angel!
July 18 will be a year since he was taken from my body. Today I am pregnant with a baby girl. I'm nearly 28 weeks and the stress is beginning to build. We have to try to take it one day at a time. Praying that history won't repeat itself... I love you Dylan... we miss you so much....
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