Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
TTC after loss
I lost my baby last September at 14 weeks. We have been trying to conceive ever since and it is still not working. I have been keeping a pretty good attitude about it, but now I am just getting worried and upset. I am not sure if I am over reacting or if I should schedule an appointment with my doctor to go over other options. I am 33, soon to be 34 and my other half is 40 soon to be 41. He won't stop smoking and insists that it has nothing to do with it. At any rate, I can't stop focusing on getting pregnant. I keep a journal and am becoming obsessed with getting pregnant. It's really hard for me since two of my friends are pregnant and I watch them growing everyday at work.
my first babyI found out I was pregnant with my first child on October 2nd. At that time I was working in a restaurant and every time I smelled the food it made me nauseous. I didn’t really think anything about it then. A few days later I was talking with my fiancé and I said something about thinking my period was late so he told me to go buy a pregnancy test…so I did…I have taken these before and didn’t really think too much into it because I never thought that I would get pregnant…so I took it….it came out positive and I about had a heart attack! I was so excited and couldn’t wait to tell my fiancé…he was also very happy…so the next day I went to a clinic to have another pregnancy test done just to double check…it came out negative...I was so sad and didn’t know what to think…so I talked to my mother in law (she works at a doctor’s office) and she said that I should just wait a couple of days and do another one…I had already bought 2 or 3 books reading about how I should take care of my body and vitamins and all that good stuff…my mother in law was asking what color I was going to do my nursery in and about buying it the outfit to come home in…she made me so excited…after a couple of days I went to a different clinic and had one done and it came out negative also so I was mad…A few more days went by and I decided to take another home pregnancy test and it came out positive so that was good enough for me…I had to get a lot of insurance stuff straightened out before I could go to the doctor so I made my appointment for Nov. 2nd…we could not wait to see the baby…according to my mother in law I should have been around 10 weeks…the night before my appointment I started cramping and spotting so I got really worried and went to the ER to be cautious…they took me back and did a urine test, a blood test, an ultrasound and a vaginal ultrasound…I knew something was wrong when I didn’t see anything on the screen and she asked me if I had a positive pregnancy test and I said yes but it was about a month ago…later the doctor came in and asked me why I thought that I was pregnant because I wasn’t and that my tests were wrong and there was nothing wrong with his lab or his tests…it hurt so bad…I felt like he was accusing me of lying…I just don’t really understand how someone can be so rude…I cried and cried for hours wondering why I had to go through this…I talked to another doctor the next day asking why I would have a pregnancy test be positive and not be…they said that when I found out I was pregnant I was already loosing it and that is why I was getting negative results…I just wish that I still had it now…we already had a name picked out and everything…we wanted it to be a boy so his name was David Alexander…and I didn’t even know him but I loved him so much and even though it has been over 2 months ago it still hurts…I miss my baby…I would do anything to have him back!! We are still trying for another one but I don’t think I will get my hopes up so soon next time
Dealing with lossMy husband and I lost our 3rd child due to a miscarriage. But the doctor that I saw told me that it was due to some medication that a nurse told me to take when I had a viral infection in my vocal cords. I found out that we were pregnant on Oct.27th and then I started spotting November 13th. I put if off thinking it was because we had intercourse until soon after finding out we were pregnant. I was taken up to our local hospital a few days later because the bleeding was worse. They ran tests and said that the baby was fine. This was on a Tuesday. Come thrusday I passed something that scarred me. I called my husband and we were seen by the doctor really quickly. This was Thursday. I was having a miscarriage and I was torn apart. Just the other day I got to see my baby on the ultrasound and then a two days later we lost the baby. I hate the thought of knowing this happened to me.
LossI first found out I was possibly pregnant on the 8th December. I had been having funny bouts of feeling sick.I waited the weekend and did a test. There was a positive line but it was very faint. The next day i went to the doctors but had to wait 24 hours for theirs test, so i went home and did another test. Again was a very weak line but it was there.I had to wait till 2pm to phone the doctor. They said I was 'weak positive', they told me i was just very early in the pregnancy and needed to wait a week to test again. I decided to tell my partner. We were not trying for a baby, but it was in our future plans, so we both decided that we where happy. A week later I went back to the doctors and sure enough I was pregnant.They predicted around 5 weeks. By this poiuint it was christmas, so i went home and told just my close family, this was to be my parents first pregnancy and they were just as happy as we where.
By this point I was having lots of simptons like tiredness, feeling sick, sore boobs etc. Christmas was lovely for us, and although my partner was not ready to share the news with his family I could tell he was coming round to the idea. Then on the 27th (I should have been around 7 weeks) I had some very light brown blood (no pain) and only when i wiped. I rushed to the doctor imagining the worst. There I was told miscarriage is normally bright red blood and lots of pain, so what I was experiencing was totally normal and common at this stage. I left the doctor feeling better and counting down the days to my midwife appointment on the 9th. Although the bleeding of brown blood continued it got no worse and still had no pain, so i went to visit family for new year.
On new years eve I had a small amount off blood in my underwear which I had not had before and because I was away from home went striaght to the hospital. They kindly gave me and my partner a private room to wait in to be seen and kept checking on me in till I could be seen. The doctor did not do an eximination but he felt my tummy and because I had no pain, I was told it was normal to bleed (even as much as 5 spoonfulls, which I believed was more than I had seen), and also that it was very unlikely to be a miscarriage. They sent me away again and said to see my own doctor on Tuesday and request an ultrasound.
So Tuesday came around and off i went to the doctor, i had to go alone as my partner could not get time off. At the dctor thay did an internal where she confirmed i did have some blood and maybe it could be eptopic. She sent me straight back to the hospital. While traveling there i had all these thoughts, having just watched Coronation Street, where one of the main characters had an eptopic, i new this was serious. I got to the hospital where they did an internal again and this time he looked to see if my cervix was closed - it was, and he also seemed quite certain the bleeding was stoping. He felt my tummy and assured me that although there is always a chance of miscarriage it did not seem likely. They booked me in for a scan on the friday, and sent me away.
Now for the first time in a week i actually started to relax again. I had 4 doctors tell me miscarriage was unlikely and was told my bleeding was slowing down. I got home and shared my news with my family, everyone got excited again and my partner even told one person our news. Less than 30 minutes after arriving home, I strated to feel cramps. They were not as bad as period cramps and very similar to cramps i had at 5 weeks which ended after a day and i was told where normal. So i decided not to worry to much as the scan friday would tell me all. I got up to meet my partner outside as he was taking me food shopping. It was at this moment our car broke down. So we got a bus to my local town. While on the bus the cramps suddenly moved down wards and got stronger in waves. Although being my first pregnancy and having no idea what contractions felt like, if i had to describe them this is what i would say they where. I suddenly got very worried and we went straight to hospital.
It took us an hour to get there by which point the pain had gone again. I told the receptionist my problem then had to wait an hour. While waiting i went to the toilet where i passed 2 seperate little clots (I could not be sure as this was a public toilet). I then got assessed and they decided to send me to the early pregnancy unit (where i had been earlier). There was to be an hour's wait before i could go up, but i needed to be checked. I went to the toilet a further 2 times where i passed 3 more bigish clots. By this time i demanded to be taken up. I new this was a miscarriage and could not stand sitting in a crowded room crying. They examined me again and still would not confirm anything. All she would say is bleeding is normal and to come back in 2 days.
After two of the worst days of my life i went back where they did my scan. They found nothing at all. She then said if i was early it could be small and that she would do an internal. By this point i broke down. I had it confirmed that i had had a complete miscarriage. The next 2 weeks passed in a blur. The bleeding eventually stopped and so have the cramps. I'm still totally tired but all over signs have gone. People have stopped calling and even my partner, who has been fantastic through this has gone back to normal, apart from worring about me. It's now that it hiting me. I'm more upset now than i was the days directly after my miscarriage. I'm not sleeping at all and everytime i close my eyes all i can see is the remants of my pregnancy in a toilet. I started back at work yesterday. I feel terible because it has taken this long for the feeling to come out.
please not again!Falling pregnant for the first time was so easy; first try and that was it. The only fear i had was the pains i would feel in labour. The pregnancy went well and me and my partner held our first son on the 26th aug 2004. Then in 2005 we planned a second child; again first time lucky! well we just assumed that this pregnancy would go like the first one, but when i was 21 1/2 wks my waters broke. This couldn't be right so we went to hospital. We were told that our baby could survive fine; that without the water the baby would produce more. 4 days later we had a stillborn baby, our second son was gone, we spent the whole day holding our son, couldn't belive that he was gone and we couldnt take him home. Four days later we said our last goodbye to our precious wee boy, all we have now is a graveyard to visit. 7mths on we started to try again, i'm meant to be 9wks but keep getting told im measuring only 6wks. i started to have brown discharge and now im bleeding like a period, the babys heartbeat has been seen but have been told its 50/50 they cant say if im going to have a miscarriage or not we have to wait and see, i just hope to god its not going to be taken from us again how can life be so cruel? Fingers and toes crossed.
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