Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Today my period started - exactly 28 days after my miscarriage. By the book, I guess. But it only serves to remind me of my loss. She was 5 weeks and 2 days when I lost her. I say she, because I had a dream about her the night it happened. I had been spotting for a few days, but my doctor said there are many causes for bleeding and I had a bad yeast infection, which may be the reason for the bleeding. Then one evening the bleeding got worse, there were clots and I was cramping. Whilst sleeping I dreamt of a little girl. She was standing in a doorway with her back to me. I could really just see her silhouette - never her face.
The next day I called my gynaecologist who asked me to go to the ER. She did a scan and showed me that the sac has already collapsed. I could not believe it. Even after the bleeding of the previous night I still desperately wanted to cling on to the belief that everything would be ok.
We got married later in life (late 30s) and so I went off the pill almost immediately. It took a while to get pregnant but mostly due to conflicting travelling schedules. When I found out I was pregnant I was happy, but also concerned and even disappointed about work related obligations that I may miss due to pregnancy/baby. Now I feel really guilty.
Maybe I did not want her enough. Maybe I have been focused too much on my career and not enough on my own physical and emotional health to ready myself for pregnancy.
I try not to think about it too much, but today... today is hard because it reminds me of the cycle of life and of hers that never was.
My two that met jesusIn July of 2006 I found out I was pregnant, my husband and I were very thrilled. We have three children, two are mine and one is his. We were trying to have children that are from us together so we were very happy. Both my pregnancies were very normal and worry free so I was not expecting any complications. I made my first appointment for 8 weeks so I had 3 weeks to wait for the appointment. One week before my appointment I started feeling small cramps on my left side. I called the doctor and he said because I wasnít bleeding or experiencing any other symptoms and the cramps were small I could come in the next day to see him.
Later that night I went to the ER just to make sure and when I got there things quickly got worse. I fainted in the waiting room minutes after I got there and as they were checking me they found out I went into a seizure, which, after doing a cat scan of my abdomen, they found out was due internal bleeding from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I was taken in for emergency surgery to remove the tubal pregnancy and my left fallopian tube.
That was quite traumatic for me but I was thankful to have my life as I found out later I lost a lot of blood and had to have a transfusion. After healing and working through the emotional stuff yet, not fully emotionally healed, my husband and I decided to try again. The doctor said it was ok for us to try again so we did. Two and a half months later we were pregnant. With having a tubal I went in every 2 days for blood work. The first and second time my blood came back really good. The third time not so good. Then I started bleeding. The doctor called and said my hormone levels were down to almost nothing. That was devastating.
3 days later I passed my baby. It is very hard to see your little baby like that. My doctor said he didnít need the "tissue" so my husband and I buried it by our friendís lake since I found it hard to flush it. That happened on January 5th 2007. On January 21st 2007 we are having a memorial service for our babies Jadah Rain: August 13th 2006 and Dominic Skye: January 5, 2007.
We are still not sure if we are going to try again because it is heartbreaking to loose a baby. I have very little hope to have another one at this point. I have a lot of healing to do.
Early pregnancy miscarriageMy name is Jasmine and I am 23 years old. 3 weeks ago I skipped my period and I did the pregnancy test 4 times, and they all came positive. I wasn't feeling nauseas at all, but I did have sore breasts, and cravings for food. I went to my family doctor and they confirmed that I was pregnant. Then I made an appointment with an ob/gyn for the following week after I found out I was pregnant.
One week later, which was Saturday 12/23/06 I had brown spotting. I told my husband but my husband said that everything was fine and that the doctor said to call them only in case of bleeding. I was scared to death. I couldn't wait and I went to the emergency room that day around 4 pm. They did the blood test and even ultrasound and the doctor said that she couldn't find anything in the uterus and that my HCG levels were 45.
The ob/gyn said that I either just got pregnant or had a miscarriage. They wanted me to come back and repeat the test in 2 days. The next day I had a heavy bleeding and I was having clots on my pads. I didn't have any cramps or anything. Only the next day I did have a little bit of stomachache because the doctor did an internal check up. The next time I went to repeat the tests, my HCG levels were 10.5 which meant that I miscarried because first HCG level was 75, then 45, and then 10.5.
I was sad that I lost my pregnancy, but it didn't affect me too much emotionally because I was just barely pregnant. Finally I went to my appointment with ob/gyn and I told them what the situation was. I did the blood test again and even a Pap smear test. The blood test results were that my HCG level was below 2 which was good because if it was above 2 than definitely there would be a problem in my body. I got the Pap smear test and it came out that everything was within normal limits. I had heavy bleeding for 7 days.
My lost AngelMy husband and I just married and we knew we wanted children right away. It was 2 weeks before Thanksgiving when we found out and we were so excited to tell our families. Thanksgiving was a happy time of congratulations and warm wishes. Then the week before Christmas that all changed.
I started spotting lightly on Monday. When I talked to the nurse she thought it was nothing to worry about; it might be from intercourse and it should stop in the next couple days. By Wednesday it got heavier and when I called the doctor they sent me for an ultrasound. The baby had no heartbeat and it felt as though I didn't either. The hardest thing was seeing my baby on the monitor and knowing that they never got a fair chance in life, but I know that it was God's will.
Since it was late in the day and my doctor was gone they told us to go home and stay off my feet and that if the pain got worse to go to the ER. It was a rough night emotionally, but we made it. The next day I saw my doctor and he gave us the choice to have a D&C or let my body process it naturally. I am a strong believer in letting nature take its course so we opted to go home.
Being 4 days before Christmas, he gave me an RX for pain pills and told me to go to the ER if the pain was unbearable since he would be out of the office. It was 2 days later that the worst would happen. The cramps got worse and I finally broke down and took one pain pill. It was not in my system long enough to do anything when I threw it up and I passed the tissue within the hour. I bled for a week, but that night was the only time it was physically painful. It has now been almost 3 weeks and my HCG level is almost at zero.
We are going to try again as soon as I have a period. I go in the Baby's room often because I find comfort there. About a week ago I wrote the baby a letter and I reread it often. I still feel as though I could cry at the drop of a hat, but with each day I feel stronger. I believe that the pain of this loss will never completely go away, but with time it will get easier. My greatest fear is everyone forgetting about this pregnancy as time passes. That is why it is important to me to talk about the baby and let people know that we still have a baby, they were just called to heaven very early in life.
All overWe've been trying to get pregnant for 18 months. I take the hormone tablet clomid to help us along. Couldn't believe it when the 2nd blue line appeared on 21/12/06. Overjoyed is an understatement and we couldnít keep it in. We told anyone who would listen but we regret it now. 1 week later I started to bleed, spoke to GP who referred us to the early pregnancy unit at the hospital who couldnít see us for 2 days. I was told not to panic, as the blood was brown but if the pain got worse or blood became red to go back. It did the night before my appt but I was just told to wait for the appt in the morning. A scan revealed no viable sign of the pregnancy, I had either already lost it or it was ectopic. Had a 2-day wait to find out but the outcome was I had miscarried.
I feel like my heart as broken but then again I feel silly for grieving over something I had only known about for 1 week. Iím scared and unsure if I should try again. The GP has put me straight back on clomid and advised us to start but what if it happens again, not sure I could go through it!
My heart goes out to everyone who has experienced the pain of losing a baby.
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