Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
my little angel
I remember the day I lost my baby so well. It was a Friday, just a normal Friday, well until about 4pm anyway. Then I started getting the worst pains in my stomach I had ever felt before. My friend Sammy had come for a coffee and she new something was wrong as soon as she saw me. She told me to go sit down and ring the doctors of NHS direct for some advice while she made me a cup of tea. Then my friend Andrew turned up and asked what was wrong, so I told him about the pain and he said he would take me to the doctors straight away. I agreed and said I would just go to the loo first.
It took me ages to get up the stairs because the pain was so bad then when I got to the loo I got another wave of pain then a rush came from below and then another. I shouted for Sammy and she came up stairs to find me sat in a pool of blood on the bathroom floor. She managed to stand me up but the pain and bleeding just got worse, and by this time the room was spinning and I was shaking with shock.
Sammy shouted to Andrew and he came up stairs. He took one look at me and the state of the bathroom and rung 999. The ambulance took forever to come and by the time they got to my house I was close to passing out. They were great though; they told me that I was defiantly miscarrying and it looked as though I was hemorrhaging too so it was important to get me to hospital ASAP.
When they got me in the ambulance they gave me some drugs and some gas and air to help with the pain and they started giving me some fluids to help replace the blood I had lost. When we got to hospital I was told I would need a D & C and a blood transfusion, and soon, so after a doctor examined me I was taken straight to theatre. When I came around I felt really bad and had to stay in hospital for 3 days for observation.
That was 6 weeks ago now and Iím still getting over it; not just physically but mentally too. I've never been so scared in all my life. Now that Iíve got over the shock I feel really guilty wondering if I could have done something differently; wondering if I did something wrong.
At the moment I just think that Iím lucky to be alive and lucky to have my other 3 children. Even though I wanted this baby just as much as my other kids God obviously wanted my little angel for something special. But knowing that doesn't stop the love or the fear I feel
I love you my little angel god bless xxx
Our "Tadpole"My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months and I was getting frustrated and started to think that we had fertility problems. Then on November 5th I found out that I was pregnant. My husband was away for a business trip and I was all excited to tell him the news. On that same day, I got into a car accident. Boy was that day filled with ups and downs.
I went to my doctor the next day and she confirmed that I was 5 weeks along. For the next few days I still didn't tell my husband about the surprise. What I did was take a picture of the home pregnancy test and wallpapered it onto his computer. When he got home he was quite excited. I told my parents and they were quite excited. We were going to tell his parents on Christmas day when we were going to visit them in Ontario (we live in British Columbia).
Then on December 15th I started some spotting, I went on the Internet and looked up all the information and everything told me that it was quite normal to see spotting. At this point I was 11 wks into my pregnancy. On December 16th (Saturday) I noticed more and called my doctor and she told me that I needed to go in to see her on 18th (Monday). All through the weekend I was on pins and needles. I was questioning if this was normal or not.
Then the day of the appointment came and I went to the washroom to have my morning pee and noticed the toilet was filled with blood. When I went to the doctor she checked me out and told me that it was old blood that she saw and said that things seemed to be fine. An ultrasound was scheduled for Thursday of that week. We went home with a sterile bottle "Just In Case" there was any tissue. The next day I went to work at 6:45am. Then at about 8am I had cramps, I thought it was a gas build up in my tummy. But the cramps kept on coming and going. At about 9:30am I felt something burst down there. I quickly went to washroom and I had a toilet full of fresh blood.
I felt so useless and sad. I didn't know what to do. Fortunately, my doctor was just downstairs from where I worked. I was able to go see her right away. When she saw me, she confirmed that I defiantly miscarried. She was able to remove the fetus, the sac of fluid and some blood clot. She placed everything in a sterile bottle to have it all tested. I wanted to see what my child looked like and she showed it to me. I don't know if looking at him/her was a good thing. It made me really sad and upset. The part that also bothered me was that I had to take that specimen to the lab to get tested. I had my child with me and carried it to another place.
After that, I went home to rest after my doctor gave me a note to take to work to have one week to rest. For the whole of the afternoon, I was continually bleeding. The placenta has not passed. At about 7pm I came close to fainting when my husband went out. At 8pm when he was back I had another fainting spell. My husband then decided to call my doctor's pager. She called back and told us to go straight to the hospital to the Emergency. When the doctor at the emergency saw me, he said that I had to have a D&C done right away since the placental tissue was still attached and I was bleeding so heavily. All this was done on December 19th. My birthday was December 20th. I was discharged on my birthday.
I don't know how hard it is going to be for all my other birthdays to come. Right now, I'm okay because I am looking towards the future of making another beautiful miracle with my husband. But forever will I remember my 1st "Tadpole" when my birthday comes around. It is very important that you have a group of friends and relatives that care for you in the time of need. I think that is how it has given me strength to go on. I will definitely miss my "Tadpole".
The Worst Christmas ever...My husband and I were married in September of 2006, and we already have a son that is 3 years old. Right after the wedding, we planned on getting pregnant. It was really exciting this time because when we got pregnant with our first child, it was a surprise. It was a little stressful telling our families and adjusting our lives for an unexpected child. However...everything worked out for the best and we are a very happy family.
On November 30, I took a pregnancy test and it read positive. I was so happy and excited, and when I told my husband later that day after he came home from work, he was thrilled. I was so excited that I began telling everyone we knew. My belly began to show very early, so early that it raised an alarm in me, so I contacted my doctor and asked to see him.
When I went to the appointment, he asked me if twins or multiples ran in my family... they do. So the doctor sent me for an early ultrasound 2 days before Christmas. I went to the ultrasound, excited to see if there was, in fact, more than one in there. I was so excited to get to see the baby so early and the ultrasound doctor was excited for me too. He began the ultrasound trans-vaginally and the doctor and myself stared expectantly at the screen. I saw a big black space. The doc didn't say anything right away, and then suddenly said "oh.... Iím sorry...it looks like a miscarriage".
The words put me into such a shock that I couldn't move or say anything at all. I thought for a moment that he was making some kind of sick joke, and was about to tell me that he was kidding...that there were actually 2 babies in there. But no joke came, and the doctor told me to get dressed and that we would discuss what was to happen next. I was numb. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. And just 2 days before Christmas...how would I cope? What would I say to all the friends and family that were so happy for us?
The doc told me that I had 3 options...I could let the miscarriage take it's course naturally...and it could happen anytime in the next few weeks...or...take some pills that would bring the miscarriage on quickly...and I could be at home to pass the baby.... or to do a d and c. I chose to take the pills because I didn't want to just sit around waiting and wondering when the miscarriage would take its course. And I didn't want to do a d and c unless I absolutely had to, so I went home to be with my husband on the 23 of December, and sent my son to my mother's house for the night.
I began contracting almost 3 hours after I took the pills and the contractions became quite uncomfortable. I went to the bathroom several times, and passed tissue so large that it scared me. It was the most traumatic experience I've ever dealt with. The contractions ended suddenly about 5 hours later...and I stopped passing large amounts of tissue. I thought it was over...and then the emotional pain began...here it was...almost Christmas...and everyone was expecting visits from us and I was so sad. I couldn't stop crying...I would feel ok for a bit, and then suddenly, I was crying again. I didn't want to celebrate Christmas...but I had to for the sake of our 3 year old. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I kept thinking..."was there something I did that could have done thisĒ? (Even though the doctor assured me that there was nothing that my husband or myself did to cause this.) And I kept worrying about trying to conceive again...what if this happens again? Will I be able to cope with this AGAIN if it happens? And what will a second miscarriage mean? That I can't have any more kids?
Unfortunately, this will be a Christmas I will never forget...and I keep wondering if the hurt I feel will ever go away. I don't think I will ever forget my lost baby. And I just want to say my heart goes out to you all that have suffered the loss of a baby/child...you're not alone.
My lossWell, to start off. I am 23 and I found out I was having a baby on 12/16/2006. I was so happy. My boyfriend was a little freaked out but after the initial shock wore off we were very happy. I even went out and bought 2 bodysuits just to look at and see that I will be able to put my baby in it in 8 months. Well we finally decided to tell people on 12/21/2006 and it was the best feeling in the world.
Then on 12/23/2006 I woke up with cramps and I started bleeding, so I went to the ER and I had a full miscarriage. I couldnít stop crying and I kept asking God to let me have my baby, and why would you take it from me? I was a wreck. But the more I told people they told me that it has happened to them and just to wait and try again and it will happen; it just wasnít meant to be at the time. I am still heartbroken and I still canít put the onesies away. But I guess God gives you only what you can handle and it will happen when itís meant to be.
AngelsI recently had a miscarriage. I was in my 9th week. I have to say that I had known people who had had a miscarriage, but I truly didnít know the depth of the pain they were experiencing until, of course, I went through it. Devastation doesnít begin to explain the pain I felt, and still feel over the loss of that little baby. As a mother of one already, it was my responsibility to protect that baby and when I couldnít do anything to help I felt so helpless.
For those who have had a miscarriage, I can tell you what helped me was believing that despite others beliefs, that was my child. I experienced a deep loss, and I had to acknowledge it as such.
I have always been someone who believed that things happen for a reason, and that while it may not make sense at the time, it would be clear some day. Well that day hasnít arrived yet so in the meanwhile, I truly believe that my child is in heaven and someday we will meet again.
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