Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
My beautiful baby girl
I lost my beautiful baby girl 2 days ago; I was 17 weeks pregnant. I had an incompetent cervix and bled so heavily before they could put a stitch in my cervix that she died. My labor was induced and a few hours later I gave birth to the most perfect little girl who I have named Lucy.
My partner is in the Navy and is away in Iraq at the moment, he doesn't know I have lost our daughter. I feel numb but I know that we will all get through this, and I hope that God looks after our beautiful children until we can again. xx
It hurts so bad i don't know what to do......HelpWell let me say first that I'm from a strict Indian family and nothing to do with boys is accepted.
It all started when I was 19. Me and my ex got pregnant and I was soooooooo terrified of what my dad would do to me that I had an abortion (God, please forgive me). As soon as I walked out of the clinic I started freaking out and it is my biggest regret ever. Then about 7 months later I was pregnant again and I refused to do it again so I went to my parents and told them. 30 minutes later I was moving in with Scott (the father). I was sooooooo happy because even now I don't think I deserve a child because I had an abortion.
I thanked God everyday for my baby. Then when I was about 8 weeks I started bleeding and having bad pains, but I hadn't lost my baby yet. The bleeding kept up for about 2 weeks and then July 24th at 11:30pm the cramps got so bad I had to go the emergency room, and of course, they told me I lost my baby. I just wanted to die.
My mom came to the hospital and decided that I should go home with her so she could take care of me because Scott would be out for 12hrs a day and she didn't want me to be alone.
So when I left to hospital I came home with her and she's trying really hard to help me but my dad won't even look at me. He doesn't talk to me.
Not only did I lose my baby I lost my dad, too
And I still can't be around babies all I do is cry all the time and on top of all that my best friend is 7 months and she has no one so Iím trying to be there for her and it's really hard.
pregnant agian after miscarrage in septemberAugust was brilliant. I found out I was pregnant and one of my friends found out she was pregnant the week before me, so we did the whole ďweíll be pregnant togetherĒ. Then when I was only seven weeks I started bleeding and I knew that was the end. I thought I coped well and so did everyone else.
I just found out I'm pregnant again Iím currently only six weeks so Iím hoping everything will go well. The first two days I found out I cried thinking it wonít last and realized I hadnít got the last miscarriage out of my system, Iím feeling a lot better about everything at the moment but who knows how long, with my hormones all over the place - but isnít every pregnant womanís? Iím due the 8th August.
Meant to be but not meant to beFirst off to all who has miscarried my heart goes out to you!
I am sorry if this turns out to be a book but here goes. I am 29 years old and have 2 beautiful children that keep me going all the time. This past summer I have had a lot of problems with my periods. I bleed for 2 moths straight and my dr could not find out why, so she switched my birth control pills and things started to get back to normal. I had my first semi-regular period in September just 17 days after I had bled for the 2 months. Then it got more regular after having one on the first of October 2006.
My husband and I had decided a while back that we really didnít want any more kids due to my problems and the fact that we live in a fairly small house. We found out that his insurance through work covered vasectomies at 100% so we scheduled my husband for an appointment. It was originally scheduled for early October and had to be changed due to schedule conflicts, so it was postponed to December. Well on October 26th 2006 I was at Wal-Mart with my kids and got this strange feeling that I was pregnant, so I went ahead and picked up a test. It had 2 in the box. Well I get home and took the test, while I was waiting for the results all kinds of things were running through my head; mainly being was "Farrah, why did you buy this? You have thought this before and it was negative, besides you're taking the pill so there's no way." Well I look down and there it is: a faint line that states you are pregnant. I was in shock. My husband didnít know that I had bought it, how was I going to tell him?
Thatís when all sorts of things were racing through my head; how will I tell him? Where will we put it? How will we pay for it? Am I really pregnant or am I just seeing things? Well I decided to wait for a while not going to the bathroom for hours to make sure I waited long enough. I slipped off to the bathroom as my husband was watching TV and the kids were in bed and took the test again and sure enough it was positive. I decided to take the test to my husband.
I was so nervous I didnít know how he would react, but I showed him and he was shocked, same as me. So the next day I went and bought more tests only this time the digital ones, and of course they came back pregnant. I scheduled a visit for the dr. Only the first visit was with the nurse to do blood work, paperwork, and urine test. Then they scheduled me for an u/s and appointment with the actual dr 2 1/2 weeks later. By the time I had the first appointment with the nurse I was really excited. For me to be on b/c/p and my husband's scheduled appointment, this must have been God saying hey you are not done yet, you have 1 more to go.
I just could hardly wait for that u/s and dr. appointment. I had already grown out of my regular clothes and had to wear some maternity, and what I call swishy pants. The day came and my husband took a day off, which was hard to do because he is a coalminer, but he wanted to be there for the u/s and to meet the dr. I had already met him because in May he had delivered my sisterís baby and was just great. My appt was on November 30th and I was to have the u/s at 8am and then see the dr at 9am. I liked this dr so much I was willing to drive 45 min to go to him. We were on our way and I couldnít quit smiling. We were over half way there and the nurse called and said that the u/s tech had called in due to her being sick so we couldnít get it done today.
We were not happy but we went and did a little Christmas shopping and then went to see the dr. When we finally got in to see him, which seemed like forever, he did the routine pap smear and felt my belly and said everything felt fine. It felt like a normal 8-9 week uterus and we would get to hear the heartbeat next time. He asked me if I was going to have my tubes tied and I said yes and told him we were not expecting this one and that my husband had an appt to get a vasectomy, and he said ďoh no donít do that yet, you are already pregnant thereís no need to rush into it yetĒ. Well me and my husband didnít change the appt. because this was it, we were not having any more kids after this one.
The next day I went to the bathroom and went to wipe and there was a little bit of brown blood, I said to my husband, ďI hope its because of the exam,Ē as I normally spotted after exams with my other 2 and didnít think more of it. On Saturday December 1st I woke up to find when I wiped bright blood and shortly after I started having cramps. It was really early so I waited because my drs. office is connected to a hospital and didnít know for sure if they were open on Saturday. Well they were not and cramping got worse, the bleeding was the same it was only when I wiped. So I headed out for the hospital.
When I arrived it took them about 20 min. to take me back and they took blood and took me down for an u/s both the regular and vaginal. I was so scared I was shaking the whole time. I asked the tech if I could see the baby and she said, ďyes but if I donít show you then itís just too early for you to see anything.Ē Well she never showed me anything.
When I got back to the room the ER dr came in and poked on my belly and then left the room again only to come back and tell me that my HCG levels were at 3256 which puts me at only 4-5 weeks along and that the ultrasound showed a mass of blood and fluid in my uterus, which could be because I am that early in the pregnancy. I knew right away something was wrong because me and my husband hadnít done anything since early October.
Well the stupid idiot started laughing and said I donít mean to laugh it just doesnít add up. By this time I was crying, I was by myself, I was just told that I could possibly be having a miscarriage and this moron is laughing about it. I couldnít say anything all I could do was cry, the ER dr. had called my ob dr and he said he wanted to see me on Monday first thing so I had to wait with cramping getting worse and the bleeding was getting worse but only when I went to the bathroom.
Monday had gotten here and I was praying and hoping that the ER dr was full of it and everything would be ok. Well they repeated all of the tests and my HCG levels went down to 2640 and the u/s showed the same. The baby that was once growing inside of me was no longer growing and a part of me died right then and there. I couldnít stop crying, and thinking about my kids and how happy they were that they were going to have a brother or sister to play with and we had talked about all the stuff we were going to do to our house to get ready for this little miracle.
At this point I hadnít seen my dr yet they were just doing tests, the dr was called out to deliver and I had to wait about 2 hours to see him and all I could do was sit in my car and cry. I know there was a reason the God needed this baby and that there was nothing I could have done to prevent it from happening, but there was now a void, a piece of me missing. I lost my baby and I wanted to have this angel back.
I went back in to see the dr and he told me my options, 1. To let Mother Nature take its course; or 2. Have a d & c done. I asked how long would it be to do it on my own and he said it could take anywhere from 2 days to weeks and I just couldnít bare the thought of having this last for weeks. So I went in today at 6:30am to have the procedure done, I was so scared, hurt and knew this is actually the end. The dr came back to see me when they were prepping me and starting an IV. It was actually comforting to have him come back and talk to me and my husband to let us know what was going to happen.
They took me back and as I was getting on the table the dr opened the door and saw that I was shaking so he didnít say anything and went to get a warm blanket and stood right there with me holding my hand. I had apologized to the dr for being so short with him when they got the final results back and right before I drifted off to sleep he told me some of the most comforting words: he said, ďhoney you were not short, just know that you were not the cause of this and it perfectly normal to cry and feel angry, if you didnít then I would be worried. What you are going through is hard and you have every right to feel the way you do. Donít let anyone tell you any different, and donít worry I am going to take care of you.Ē
When I woke up I was crying and asked where my husband was and they said he was in the waiting room still and they got me woken up and a drink. I got dressed and finally got to see my husband when I walked out of recovery. I have a dr. appt. on the 21st of this month to make sure everything is ok with my body and to make sure that I am ok emotionally. I want so badly now to try again but am scared at the same time, but my husband still wants to have the vasectomy done on the 22nd of this month. I am at a loss.
I want to try again but my husband doesnít. I have just spent the last month and a half getting excited and ready for this little angel not to have it happen. My kids were really upset when I told them that their little brother or sister went to heaven with God and they will never get to meet him/her. I wanted to get them something to remember the baby. I got a blue and pink bear that has embroidered on the front My Babay Bear and inside the tag it reads Love To Baby. They donít let them out of their sight.
My son knows it is to remember baby and so does my daughter but they do it so differently. My son says whereís my bear to remember my baby brother, if he doesnít see it and my daughter calls the bear her baby sister. I have an angel holding a baby bear that I took with me today to have the procedure done and made my husband guard it with his life and it is now hanging on the wall under my kidís picture. As I sit here writing this it does help to grieve and realize that this did happen for a reason and God knows what he is doing, you just have to trust him. I am trusting that he will change my husbandís mind to try one more time.
It just SUCKS!Like a lot of you, this is my first baby, and I don't smoke or drink. I exercise regularly and eat well. And I haven't miscarried yet, but I am in the stage of "threatened miscarriage." We found out the first week of November that we were pregnant. We couldn't believe it.... a month just off the pill and already pregnant. It took a while for it to sink in and then we got VERY excited! And it was so exciting to see my husband excited about it, and it was coming at a perfect time.... June. Iím a teacher and that would be just as I was getting out of school. What PERFECT timing!
Also, I found out my roommate from college as well as my cousin were both pregnant and we were all at the same time and having the babies a week apart from each other. We told both sets of parents at Thanksgiving cause we had them all over for the day and it was such a happy time. Well, I was supposed to have my first OB appt on Thursday, and Monday, I started bleeding. I went to the doctor and she did a test and said there was nothing there and they didn't even see any bleeding.... but they went ahead and did an ultrasound and saw nothing, but she informed me that she was NOT an ultrasonagrapher and didn't know really what she was doing (yeah, she shouldn't have done the test).
So, I had to come back today to do a full ultrasound.... well, the doctor found a sac, but there's no yolk. He said that I'm only at 6 weeks (which I was thinking I was a WHOLE lot further) and that maybe it was going to develop but hadn't yet. The good thing was that my blood count was way up, but it was the first time that I had my blood taken, so he had nothing to compare it to. So now, he calls it a "threatened miscarriage" cause he doesn't know what's going to happen. I just feel so sick about the whole thing.... Good thing is that I feel no pain for now.
I know that this is all in the Lord's Hands, but it's so hard. I never imagined that this could happen to me. I'm trying to live my life as normally as I can...and at one time I'm at peace with the whole thing...then the next minute, I'm an emotional wreck. I'm not a patient person...it's not something that I was graced with... But for now, keep me in your prayers. All of you, I'm saying a prayer of peace for you...and we all will have babies...it just has to be in God's perfect timing and not in ours...Jess
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