Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
missing my first and only
At 33 for the first time I became pregnant in august 2010. I was scared and excited all at the same time. My boyfriend had just broken up with me the day before I took the test but he said he would be there for the baby. At about 18 wks my stomach really began to grow and I was thrilled. I could now wear the maternity clothes I bought. Up till then thngs were fine. The only trouble I had was taking the prenatals, which I still did everyday, I just have trouble getting down tablets on a whole. Two weeks later, it started having pains and seeing a little bit of blood when I go to the bathoom. My water broke and on reaching the hospital was told my baby wouldnt live and I had to be induced to deliver him. I lost my son on Jan 11 2011. My doctor said it was due to cervical incompetence. I still think about and miss him everyday. I still wonder why this had to happen. I hope to have another baby asap, but my first child, my son, would never be replaced.
missing JacobyAt 20 wks to the day, I was returning from a trip visiting family. I was excited about being back home because I was wasnt showing before I left was really showing now in that short 3 wks I was gone. In the airport I started having these pains that only lasted for a couple seconds about 30 mins apart. I slept most of the flight home so I wasnt feeling them anymore. I got home just after midnight and got into bed. I started feeling the pains again and I went to the bathroom. When I wiped there was blood but a it was pink and not bright red. I decided I would go to the doctor in the morning since the pains were bad or lengthy. It was taking awhile for me to get to sleep and I got up to go to the bathroom again. Before I got to the bathroom door a gush of water came out. I called my mother and told her and she said that wasnt good. I got hold of my doctor and he told me to go to the labor and delivery. The ride to the hospital felt like it would never end. when I was finally seen by a doctor I was examined and he tried to find the heartbeat, and he did but it wasnt strong . After waiting a little while longer for another doctor to arrive and give me an U/S the saw that I had lost too much fluid and said the baby would not live. I was taken to the ward and it was explained what was going to happen. The doctor inserted pills to induce labor.I thought it would take a while but within 2 hrs, on Jan 11 2011, I had delivered Jacoby. His father and my mother got to see him as they were at the hospital the whole time. he looked just like his father. I managed to take pics and everyone I showed them to said the same thing...he looked just like his father. I couldnt wait to get out of there. Not only was the deliver painful but I had to deal with pregnant women all around me but hearing babies crying. When I was leaving, I tried to keep myself together, but when I got to the carpark I saw a man holding his little baby boy. I ran in the car and broke down. My boyfriend held me and we cried for what seemed like hrs. That was also the first time I ever saw him cry. When I got home I had to deal with telling my family and friend I had just come from visiting, who were so excited about Jacoby, that he was gone. It felt like I died everytime I had to tell the story. Many times I couldnt even talk and my boyfriend tell them. His sister was really happy about him because she didnt have a nephew and she had bought his first set of baby clothes. I cried probably as much as we did. It has been 6 wks since we lost Jacoby. some days I can think about him and remember him moving around inside me and smile. Other days I can hardly stop crying thinking about not being able to hold him and bathe him and get him to sleep. Not seeling him learn to creep and walk and get his first tooth. we have decided to try again, but it's so scary to me. After reading the many stories about the way people lost their babies, I worry that I might lose another one in some other way. But with God's blessings we will get pregnant soon and we will have a beautiful healthy baby to love and raise.
rest in God's dwelling place my Tshamisomebody pls do not wake me up to this awful dream i just had.i was 32 weeks(10/02/11) when i went to my follow up dr's appointment where we realized that Tshami was weighing to weeks behind.her heartbeat was still too strong and the dr said you have one active girl,he mentioned that she was playing with the cord and we should not worry.after 2 weeks we went to monitor her growth to be told there is no heartbeat.my world was shuttered at once,my husband drove me to my mother's house 200 km away when we got to the dr she was no more.rushed me to hospital&induced labour,gave birth to her lifeless body.she was very beautiful,looked like daddy.we buried her on friday 11/02/11.she was my second daughter,everyday i wake up wishing she was alive even born as a premmie but the ambilical cord ended my joy of motherhood once more.there is so much i wanted to do with her that i will never do,so much i wanted to say but won't say.i feel rather robbed.some say i must try again but emotionally and mentally no one will ever take my angel's place.she used to kick hard when her sister and i sang her 'twinkle-twinkle little star'.why did it have to be me?i won't see her 1st step,1st tooth,hear her 1st word,1st crawl all the stages of development.i wish someone can bring my Tshami back,she belongs with me.How am i expected to really say goodbye.how?my pride and my joy fly high and be an sweet angel looking down on daddy,mommy&your sister.what fustrates me is i never bleed nor had any complication and even pronounced dead i still felt her movement.Lord i need your help,strengthen me i pray.Teach me to let her go&let you be.this cut is too deep and unbearable.at times i want someone to blame but that won't help.Rest in His dwelling place
lost my angel when i was about to complete 5 monthI lost my on the 16 jan 2011. i still dont have any answers y it happened.excatly after completion of 3months i had spotting. showed the doc who said that its normal.as i was not happy with the answer i changed my doc who told me that my placenta was low lying and gave me injections to stop bleeding and als otold that placenta will go up on its own.then it stoped for a while so i decided to leave my job and take complete bed rest.so i did not have bleeding for almost a week and then suddenly it started again on 29 dec 2010 doc gave injections again but i was bleeding heavly.and this time it did not stop. doc said its normal did my scanning and internal check and said that everything was normal.but i was having pain in my abdomen with heavy bleeding. so went for a chek up again. he admitted me in the hospital i was checked for babys heart beat and my preure whole day. and at night did my scanning where they came to know that there was less water and the cervix was already dilated but my child was fine. and also that i wil have a miscarriage as the baby is deffective cause there is less water.and same night i lost my child.i am searching for answers what went wrong when i took all precautions.this was my 1st preganancy.now i am scared it might happen again.
Losing our babyIt is not even three weeks ago that I gave birth to my beautiful baby son at 22 weeks. how I have got through the days that have followed is unknown to me. I feel as if the whole world should just stop and be at a standstill. Don't they feel my pain. The words of the song "Why does the world go on turning, why does the sea rush to shore" echoes in my head. Except the last line I've changed to "Don't they know it's the end of the world because you're not here anymore". we loved him with all of our hearts and all of our souls and we so wanted to share our life with him. Now instead we will be burying him on Wed along with all the hope, joy and dreams we had for our future with him. I love you precious little angel and I so wish we could have had you with us for longer. I will love you forever. (Sadly our beautiful baby boy had edwards syndrome and there was no hope)
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