Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
2 miscarriages and 35
I just had my second miscarriage on August 26/2006. I had my previous miscarriage six years ago. This pregnancy was totally unexpected and after the shock wore off I was delighted. My fear is that I will get pregnant again and loose yet another child. I have one daughter who will be 13 in december. I had no problems getting pregnant with her and had a normal vaginal delivery. I tried to get two doctors to check my hormone levels while I was pregnant but they ignored my requests. Now I'm afraid to have sex because mentally I cannot handle another lose. Am I too old to have a healthy pregnancy? I lost my first baby at 16 weeks and this one at six. I'm so lost and confused as to what to do. I'm even continplating getting my tubes tied because I think after 2 miscarriages my chances of conceiving and birthing are pretty low. Any advice what to do after 2 failed pregnancy for someone 35?
The Day The Heart StoppedMy husband and I were excited about our first pregnancy, I tried to keep up with my supplements doing my regular exercises and doing every thing I know will be best for me and the child that was growing in my womb.
We went for the first ultra sound, seeing the heart beat for the first time made me have a different look at like. But on our way back home from the hospital every thing changes turning into our gate way we met into a car accident and that gave me a fright.
Three days later I started feeling pains all over my body and then I started bleeding. I was rushed to the hospital where I was told I was having a miscarriage. Doing the ultra sound the doctor could detect a heart beat.
From that day until now I feel a sense of emptiness and guilt. I am afraid to try again.
5 months and fetal demise??On June 3, 2006 right before my husband and I were to go away on a family vacation with our 2 year old daughter, I found out I was pregnant again. My sister in law and I have a boy and a girl 10 days apart and wanted to be pregnant again at the same time but it didnt quite work out as planned. She was already 4 months pregnant when I found out, but I was ok with the whole situation. ( at least I WAS pregnant). We told all of our family and friends because we thought we had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and little girl the first time we THOUGHT NOTHING could go wrong.
We were soo very wrong!! During my 16 week ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby the tech noticed a bright white spot on my daughters heart. yes we were having another girl. She said this is normal sometimes and they would send me for another u/s in a couple of weeks to make sure. My daughters heart was beating perfectly and she looked completely normal on the u/s. Then, horrific news..
I went into my second u/s scared and worried but had felt the flutters in my stomach the night before, so I THOUGHT all was fine. At this point I was 19 weeks and 2 days pregnant. The u/s tech started the exam and my husband and I saw her head, arms , feet- but I noticed she wasnt moving and the tech, said I would know if anything was wrong by the end of my visit. She let me up to go to the bathroom because she said my bladder was too full and she wanted me to be comfortable for the rest of the u/s scan. ( AT LEAST THAT WAS WHAT SHE TOLD ME!) As soon as I returned to the bathroom, my husband commented on how well her features were formed. Thats, when the dr came in and gave us the most devastating news ever. My baby had no heartbeat, and fluid was filling her little heart and stomach. All I could do was cry as my husband held me tight and cried too. I thought I am almost 5 months along, how could this happen. Well, we did the amnio at the office and was sent to my regular obgyn. We got there and he had already ordered blood test and told me to go in one of the rooms he was going to put laminara in my cervix to ripen it, and then go to the hospital, they were waiting for me. I was very scared at this point because I had a c-section with my first daughter and was very scared at the thought of having this baby vaginally and born stillborn.
On sept. 15, 2006 they induced labor. Nothing happened until sept 17,2006 when the sun was just comming up and family was heading back to the hospital to be at my side. It was my husband, myself, and one great nurse when my daughter decided to make her entrance into the world. She was beautiful, very tiny at only 7.4 ounces and 9 inches long, but she was perfect in our eyes. Her eyes were closed except one eye was slightly opened, and I like to think she wanted to see her wonderful family before she went to heaven. We held her and said our goodbyes, we took pictures just because I felt it was the right thing to do, which i am glad we did. I then had to decide if i wanted a mini autopsy done, which i agreed because any anwers would be good enough for us. We had her cremated and we are going to keep her with us, in her special memory box. Then, we sent her to heaven to be our little angel and watch over her big sister.
I am still waiting for test results to show what happened, but i really want to try again for another baby. I will be scared, but I will have hope. This is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with, and i know any kind of miscarrage is hard but this was hard because i actually had to deliever the baby, and now my body is acting as though i just had a baby so my milk is comming in and that is very hard to deal with. It is like a cruel joke!
! All of us women have to know that this is natures way of telling us , that it was meant to be this way. Although, i have a hard time with that statement as well.. Have hope!!
my sweet little prestonI found out i was pregnant when i was 7 weeks along. I will never forget how I felt when I first saw him on the ultrasound. Even though he was a little blob, he was my sweet little baby. I was esctatic. He became my world. Every day I talked to him as I stroked my belly, telling him that mommy couldn't wait to meet him in december. His due date was December 30th.
He was a very active baby. Every morning his kicks woke me and each evening his activity entertained me. I really loved spending time with him.
My pregnancy progressed quite well till my 24th week. Suddenly I started experiencing contractions that I thought were braxton hicks. Unfortunately I was wrong. my doctor told me I was in active prelabour with my cervix dilated to 2.2cm. I was placed on bed rest and medication to quiet my uterus. I lasted for one week before I started spotting with contractions 20 minutes apart. I was terrified. I kept praying for God to save my baby. I talked to my son constantly pleading with him to not come yet. But i knew the end was near. My doctor upon examining me told me that my membranes were bulging and that i had to get to the hospital immediately. He wanted them to administer medication that would help my pregnancy to last at least two more weeks so that my son's lungs could get a chance to develop.
Foolishly I believed that everything would be ok. Sadly I was wrong. Two hours after I was admitted to the hospital, my water bag ruptured. This being my first pregnancy I had no idea what was happening to me. The nurses in the room asked me how far along I was. "25 weeks" I replied as they shook their heads. "Your baby will not survive" one said as I heard a baby being born in the other room. "it's a boy!" I heard someone say as I listened to that child's first cry. I wished bitterly that I could hear my little one's first cry.
My world descended into darkness as they wheeled into a dark room to go through the rest of my labour. I cried out several times that night as blood flowed from me like a river. I ached for my son as the pain ripped me apart with a severity that I never knew existed. That was the longest night of my life. Little did I know that I was haemoraghing. no one told me what was happening. but I suspected that I was in danger.
The next morning the doctor came to me and was astonished to find me lying in what felt like a swimming pool of blood. No one had thought to call the doctor to let him know what was happening. He quickly explained that I was indeed right, my life was in danger. I had bled too much and the baby hadn't moved down sufficiently during the night.
He immediately ordered some medication that would assist my womb to contract faster so that I could deliver my baby quicker. He listened to preston's little heartbeat which was still strong (100) but informed me that if he was born alive he'd only last a couple of seconds. He also warned me that I would hear him gasp for air and that I'd have to mentally prepare myself for that. I felt my son's little movements and I cried knowing that we were soon to say goodbye.
Two hours later I felt contractions that made me hysterical. i thought I was going to die as I felt him move down the passage and then stuck. I screamed for what felt like an eternity as he stayed in a fixed position. I wasn't told that he was breech. Eventually I felt a release as Preston spilled out of me. It was over....he was stillborn.
I cried for a couple of minutes as the nurses cleared him away. I had told one of the nurses that I didn't want to see him if he wasn't alive. I wanted to remember him like he was, active and hopefully happy.
I will never forget the day my son left my life, september 14th 2006. he was a sweet little boy, my love, my life, my sweet Preston.
For those terrified of a D&C...My story unfolds like so many of yours...the plus sign on the pregnancy test, the utterly shocked expression on my husband's face when I revealed he was going to be a daddy, dreams of glowing, growing plump and decorating a nursery. Tragically, that is not how it ended. At 8 weeks, we learned that our baby died at 6 weeks 4 days.
Yesterday, I had a d&c. In addition to the emotional turmoil, I was terrified of the actual procedure. I did some research and could only find technical pamphlets put out by hospitals and very general comments from women who had experienced them. For those of you who are facing this...here is how it goes...
The day before the d&c, I was contacted by the hospital to give my medical history. They told me not to eat or drink after midnight as the doctors would be using a general anesthetic. This was difficult because my surgery wasn't scheduled until 3PM the next day. Not eating wasn't so bad, but I was really thirsty. I recommend rinsing your mouth several times (but do not drink) to keep it moist. They also told me to wear comfy clothes (think enormous pants with an elastic waistband) and bring a robe and slippers.
My husband and I checked into the Same Day Surgery unit and I was assigned a bed. The admittance staff told me I would be moved from the Same Day Surgery unit to the operating room, then to the recovery room for 60 minutes and then back to Same Day Surgery for another 60 minutes before being released. Then, they directed me to completely disrobe and gave me a gown to wear. I highly recommend either asking to keep your socks on or requesting a pair from the hospital. Operating rooms are VERY cold.
Nurses came in and took my blood pressure, checked my pulse, checked my oxygen, drew blood, recorded my medical history, inserted an IV and kindly placed a box of tissues near my bed. Next, the anesthesiologist came in and added an anti-nausea drug to my IV. He was very kind. He asked me questions, told me stories and assured my husband that he would take good care of me.Then, my OB/GYN visited. She reviewed the procedure (d&c using suction) and had me sign a release form. They asked my husband to wait in the surgical waiting room and wheeled me into the operating room. Be advised: this room looks and feels scary--ice cold temperatures, harsh lighting and gleaming silver instruments. The surgical nurses helped me move from the gurney to the operating table. Be careful when you make this transition. The operating table is jointed and it's possible to find yourself in a hole or joint. The doctors and nurses will help you. They did not uncover me or have me put my legs up in stirrups. "I have given you something." were the last words I heard the anesthesiologist say before going to sleep. I was in the operating room for less than 2 minutes before they put me under.
As I was being wheeled out of the operating room into the recovery room, I have a vague recollection of my doctor telling me that everything went well. I also heard the anesthesiologist tell then nurses that I didn't have to wait the whole 60 minutes in recovery. He told them to move me out in 30 minutes. In the recovery room, I slowly came to and discovered that I was being monitored in every way possible e.g. ekg, blood pressure, etc. I was also bundled with blankets to keep me warm. I learned that a sanitary napkin had been placed between my legs to catch any residual blood.
After 45 minutes, they wheeled me back to the Same Day Surgery unit and welcomed my husband back to the room. I was asked to demonstrate that I could eat (a slice of cinnamon raisin toast), drink (a small can of ginger ale) walk straight and urinate. There was a shockingly small amount of blood. Just spotting really. And VERY mild cramps.
My doctor prescribed a small number of percocet and they released me after 60 minutes.
The hospital staff was kind, compassionate and treated me with dignity. The procedure is not painful, just terribly, terribly sad.
I wrote this because I wanted to allay the fears of others.
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