Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Loss of Symptoms
I'm 34 and was ecstatic to find out I was pregnant once again. I have a 8 year-old boy and a 6 year-old girl and both are in excellent health... I've had one loss before my daughter and my only symptom was spotting and back pain... Again I've had spotting and severe nagging lower back pain. I tried to be optimisic but today we resolved to have an ultrasound tomorrow.
I realized I am no longer nauseated and I'm no longer running to the bathroom frequently. I'm sadly writing this and realizing I'm not going to sleep tonight. I've realized I am most likely no longer pregnant and I will likely grieve alone.. Yes my husband will sympathize with me but he wasn't as enthusiastic about this pregnancy as I was. I hope...
Two losses back to backIn June 2006 I miscarried. I didn't even know I was pregnant when it started. It passed itself naturally, I was only 4 weeks along. I was sad but hopeful.
August 6th, 2006 I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant but knew at least 2 weeks earlier since my breast were sore and tingling. August 10th I felt upset to my stomach, I got a low grade fever and felt awful. I woke up at 1am to go to the bathroom when I noticed some spotting. A few minutes later I fainted. My doc sent me to the er concerned with the fainting, thinking I may have an ectopic.
My cervix was still closed but my betas were only 108 and the ultrasound couldn't find anything, they said it was too early. The next week I was on bedrest and went to the doc.'s for beta blood draws every other day. The bleeding got heavier and the cramping started, my beta's rose but too slowly.
Two weeks after I found out I was pregnant my beta's were under 300, my hormones at 2 and I still was bleeding and cramping. I had another ultrasound at 6 weeks and still no fetus or sac. I was told I was miscarrying.
One week later my betas climbed to 1300, the 3rd ultrasound still didn't show any fetus or trace of a pregnancy in the uterus or out. They diagnosed it as an ectopic even though they couldn't find the fetus. I spent 9 hours at the er 2 weeks ago to get a shot of methotrexate.
I never bleed heavily, never passed anything that I know of and I did not experience labor like some women do.
My betas are dropping appropriately according to my doctor but I still feel pregnant. My pants are harder to button and my breasts are still super sore and sensitive.
I wonder if I should have waited for the metho shot, at least another week to at least locate the fetus, but my doctor insisted it was too dangerous.
I'm so sad and scared that something is wrong with me. I am terrified of having to go through all of this again. I want another baby so bad, I have a son who is 18 mos.
I keep reading all these scary things on-line and think I need to stop. I just wish I knew for sure what happened and what went wrong.
The neverending cycleJess,
If i had to count on one hand the number of people who have told me "Your too young to be married", well lets just say i couldn't. Ironically enough in a time when nothing is certain my decision to marry at the tender age of 19 has caused a few debates. But now everyone seems to have gotten used to the idea - its only taken 18 months the next thing im "too young" for is children. I've had 3 miscarriages. Its a harrowing and painful experience.
Falling pregnant is easy for me. Its having a viable pregnancy that my husband and i struggle with. The emotional rollercoaster of conceiving and then waiting and hoping and then hurting when the inevitable happens. But the favoured phrase is "your still young, you have plenty of time". The one i hate the most is the good old "wait a few years". Excuse me? If im having trouble carrying a pregnancy when im 20 WHY ON EARTH would you wait a few years?
I really feel for the women who have to use IVF to fall pregnant. A close friend of mine tried for 10 years to fall pregnant. After 5 rounds of IVF she was blessed with triplets. An instant family. We hear a lot about women struggling to fall pregnant. The pain of hearing, "sorry not this time" is about the same i would imagine as the pain of actually miraculously falling pregnant only to lose the baby time and time again.
I feel for every woman out there who struggles daily with what should be a new and exciting time in their lives. My heart breaks for each and every one of you.
Difficult timeI found out yesterday that I had a miscarriage. I know that sounds odd, but I was almost 3 months along and didn't even know it! I was distracted by graduating with my BS from college and moving to start my MS, moving into my first apartment, and having one last carefree summer with my friends. I have also in the past 6 months been losing weight and my body had been changing anyway, so I just though it was stress and nerves and my body readjusting. I know that "its not my fault" and that "there is nothing I could do about it," but it doesn't change the fact that I feel guilty. What kind of mother will I eventually be if I can't even realize that I am pregnant in 3 months! I'm sure moving into a second floor apartment and moving furniture didn't help nor did drinking with my friends. At 22 and still in school I'm not ready for a baby, but I could have handled it so now I'm also guilty because I feel relieved that I'm not going to have to raise a child and finish school at the same time or choose between the two.
Now the big decision that I have to make is if I want to tell my boyfriend who currently lives 6 hours away from me. I'm not afraid that he would be mad at me or anything, but I think he will feel guilty for not being able to be here with me. I think it would be so much easier for him if I just deal with it on my own. This is just a sucky situation.
loss at 20 weeks with twinsi delivered my twin boys at 20 weeks. they were not breathing. A pathology report showed they were completely healthy and right on track developmentally. the placenta was perfectly normal too. the doctors could not provide any explanation. i was examined two days before this happened and my cervix looked fine and the heartbeats were great. i had had cvs testing 8 weeks earlier and there were no chromosomal abnormalities. basically it is a medical mystery. I can only guess it just wasnt meant to be this time.
My grandfather died 8 weeks earlier so i hope my little angels are somewhere in heaven keeping there great grandpapa good company until my grandma and the rest of the family come to join them one day. I love you my two little darlings and i send you all the butterfly kisses in the world.
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