Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Hi my husband and I got pregnant back in Aug. 05 I found out I was pregnant then the next day I misscarried. It was horrible since we have been trying for three years. Then three months later I found out that I am pregnant again. We were so excited you should have seen my husband, he was out of control with happiness.
Seven months later I couldn't feel my daughter move as much as she used to, I told everyone and they didn't make a big deal out of it because three days earlier the u/s was fine. About three more days went by and I was getting pissed so I got another u/s done and my baby was dead. At seven months I had to deliver my poor sweet daughter. First a misscarige than a stillbirth it was very hard we burried her and had a service, her name is Taevia Kae Cruz. My husband had a very hard time with it she was born May 15 2006.
We both wanted to heal and get pregnant right away, and guess what I am five weeks pregnant right now, found out on Aug 12 2006 a couple of days after my daughters real due date. I am excited and praying every night, my husband on the other hand I think is so scared that he hasn't been acting the same as he did with the news of my last pregnancy. I hope he acts better later on because that puts alot of stress on me.
I lost my mother when I was young so I learned how to cope with death at an early age this is my husbands first loss so that might be why he is so scared.
It is all in Gods hands. I will do my best and hopefully this one will be a success story.
was 5 mthsmy husband and i were newley weds and a surprise happened when i got pregnant. We didnt plan it, but we were happy and excited. I was close to 5 mths and we were heading to have our 2nd ultrasound, we wanted to find out if it were a girl or a boy. But thats when the bad news came up, there was no heart beat, our baby was dead. So My OB he suggested i do not do a D&C instead take a pill and do it at home. So i did and he never told us that it was fully grown baby the size of my hand!!
I wish to this day i did a D&C. So i did what i was told, then i went back to him to do an examination and i guess everything was out. (placenta tisuess etc..) But i was still bleeding normal. Until about 2wks later i went out for a walk and thats when i had alot of blood coming out, lots of chunks of blood, i know this sounds gross, so i ran back home called up the nurse and she said to come in you have to do an D&C,
i stll had alot of stuff inside that need to be cleaned out. Went into day surgery had the D&C , came home weak and tired and had a crazy stressful month. And its been over a year since this happened and have been trying to get pregnant but no luck. I'm getting an ultra sound done to see if theres any scarring or something wrong with me.
no answers!I was 19 weeks pregnant when I found out the fetus I was carrying had died. I changed that day. It's been 2 years and 3 months and I still have a hard time dealing with the loss of my third child, Ashton. I have 2 healthy children. Thank God!
My problem is; Every test I have had to determine the cause of the missed abortion(a term the medical community uses to describe a fetal demise) has failed to give me any answers. My sister has had 2 similar missed abortions in the last year.
My Little AngelLast week I posted a story in the First Trimester titled My 3rd Little One. Today, I'm about to share with you my heart-wrenching experience of the termination of my 3rd pregnancy.
We found out we were pregnant when I was 2 weeks late. Already with 2 boys, age 5 and 2, my husband felt that the size of our family is just right and having a 3rd child would compromise the quality of our life significantly. He insisted that he at 40 and me 38, we cannot look at retiring until at least 65 if we have another child now.
I however felt very differently - ever since we began planning for a child, I had always wished for a girl. 2 boys later, I yearn for a girl even more. Besides, at 6 weeks pregnant, I could already feel the "flutter" in my tummy - boy or girl no longer matter - the baby is alive! When we were at the gynea office, I saw a throbbing shadow which I believe to be the heart of our 3rd little one. I simply cannot bring myself to even think of hurting him/her, not to mention getting rid of him/her!
We spent several sleepless nites where we explored the various scenarios and consequences. I tried to make him feel the potential remorse and pain if we go though with the termination. I presented optimistic views and possibilities of how much more joys this new baby could bring. I encouraged him that things might fall into places on their own and that we should cross the bridge as we come to it with our life in the future. I threatened him with the potential downfall of our relationship and risk this might have on our marriage. I shared with him the fear I have of the risk and possible side-effects of an abortion. Although I was certain he heard and understood me - none of these could change his determination of stopping this pregnancy.
On the day of the procedure which my husband fixed immediately without hesitation once we came out of our first appointment to confirm the pregnancy, I walked into the gynea office with a very heavy heart. I was even planning a crazy escape at the last moment - but had no guts to do it. While waiting for the room to be prepared, I could barely sign the consent forms with my shaking hands and teary eyes. The nurses asked us one last time if we would like to change our minds - I replied sarcastically : "Are you asking me or him?", pointing to my husband sitting next to me then. She immediately sensed the tension, smiled, shrugged her shoulders and left.
When I was lead into the procedure room, my sadness turned into anger - I greeted with a reclining chair with stir-ups and a black garbage bag laid on the seat area. Is that the only way of handling an aborted foetus - to be thrown away like unwanted garbage? "Is this not a life in my womb now?" I wondered. At that very moment, I would almost swear that I felt another flutter in the tummy. It was as if my baby was protesting in fear of the fate that he/she was about to enter! And yet, I was too numbed with anger that I could not master enough courage to just walk out and put a stop to the whole thing.
After being seated on the chair, the rest just went by in a blurr. While the nurse gave me instructions of how to position my butt and lift up my legs into the stir-ups, the anaesthetist cleared me on standard drug allergy questions, my gynea walked in. Then, he said the most tactless thing to his nurse with a smirk smile on his face: "Janice, you know I just scanned Pei Wah, twins! No family history, it must have been the fertility drugs she was taking." I was just to depressed about the potential lost that I am going to face to have the strength to do anything to him. Any way, before long, the anaesthetist put a needle in my arm and asked me to take deep breaths.........
The next thing I felt was a few taps on my shoulder, "Wake up, wake up, the procedure is over." Before even opening my eyes, I was overcome with grieve and guilt and began sobbing uncontrollably. Despite the gentle comforts of the nurse while trying to manoeuvre me to the recovery room, I could not stop. It was like I was no longer conscientious about crying out aloud and whether others waiting outside could hear me - I just had to let go!
After settling me into the recovery room, my husband joined me and tried to console/comfort me. At that very moment - I was overwhelmed with so much anger and hatred for him that I couldn't bear to even set sight on him. When I could mastered enough space between my sobs - I chased him away and asked him to leave me alone. It was like I was angry, guilty, upset, lost and grieving all at the same time. Only hours later did the uncontrollable sobs subsided into soft cries and later, occasional silent tears rolling down my cheeks.
When I eventually went home to rest, I still could not stand the sight of my husband and refused to even look at him or talk to him. Although he tried so hard to make me comfortable and quietly went away, checking in on me once every 30 minutes or so to make sure that there's nothing else he could do for me, nothing he did could ease the pain in my heart, fill the space in my womb and sort out the confusion in my head. I just needed to be alone to come to terms with the traumatic experience. I needed the time to allow myself to grieve for the lost of my baby.
That evening, I did the cruelest thing to my husband. I confronted him and asked if he was happy, if he was satisfied now that we had that procedure done. I told him that I wish our baby has risen to heaven and become a little angel despite only having his/her mommy mourning for his/her departure. I scorned him for his cold-heartedness and how he always decides with only logic and no compassion. I called him a hypocrite that he would go to a funeral wake to mourn for the lost of a friend's parent but not care that his very own flesh and blood was discarded earlier that day in a black garbage bag.
When I finally stopped, tears rolled down his cheeks and he reached out to me for a hug. I knew then I've achieved the effect that I wanted - the pierce in his heart. Only with that, I could confirm that he still feels for the baby, he only chose to deal with it and express it differently. Even up to now, I don't think we have eventually come to terms with it. I doubt we would ever recover from this fully, at least I know our hearts would be wounded forever. We could only seek comfort in each other and say a prayer for our little one, hoping he/she would rise to be our guardian angel in heaven.
How Can I Go OnMy period was 4 days late on Memorial Day of this year and for a second I thought that maybe I was pregnant then I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I was estatic. I hd been trying for quite some time and watching friends and family around me have babies. I tried not to tell people but I was so excited and my mom was excited and my partner was excited and my sister and so on and so on.
I felt great for 3 months no morning sickness or anything just fatigued. I went in for a normal DR appointment and she didn't hear a heartbeat. She sent me to get an ultrasound and again no heartbeat. I had the D&E the next day. Now I feel so lost like I wish I had died too. In that short time I loved my child so much, I was thinking of names and looking at nursery furniture, wondering if it was boy or a girl.
Now I feel like I have nothing to look forward to no reason to get up in the morning. Everyone is trying to be supportive but I can't help but wonder what I did to deserve this cruel joke. My partener thinks we should try again in a few months but I am afraid, I prayed and prayed for this baby and this is what happened...
I am afraid to pray or hope for that kind of joy anymore.
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