Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Whadda ya do
I lost my first pregnancy in March 06. I was 13 weeks, and we were on the brink of telling everyone the good news, when I woke up with the worst cramps ever at about 2 in the morning. It then took 8 hours for everything to pass the way it should. It was difficult to deal with, but somehow, it was harder for my husband. I felt that I took it more in my stride, and that it was considered a bit strange by his and my parents (the only people we actually told). I kinda felt a bit sad, a bit angry but mostly resigned to the fact that I wasn't pregnant anymore!! This could seem weird to some people, but its the only way I can describe how it went for me. Although I did go out about 2 weeks later and get totally hammered... I'd not necessarily recommed that course of action for everyone, but it did feel good to let off steam.... (if that makes any sense to anyone...)
I think it was just my way of coping, I'm a pretty practical person and knew that what was meant for me wouldn't pass me by, and I suppose that's what I want to share with anyone who has been through it. I'm 6 weeks pregnant again, and I'm nervous it's going to happend all over again, and nothing I read gives me any comfort or cause for concern, I'm just nervous and that's all there is to it. I send my deepest sympathies to anyone who has gone through this, God bless ya all!!! X
So young and So hurtI am 16. When I found out I was pregnant, it devastated me. I chose not to tell the father and started what was one of the hardest times of my life. But for 16, I am very mature; I just made a mistake. I have wonderful parents who got over the shock and were behind me 100%. At 13 weeks, I went to the doctor, had my first ultrasound and thats when things became so wonderful. I became more complete and happy than I had been in many many years, it brought me so much closer to those friends that really counted and to my immediate family.
At my follow up on my 16th week, I heard the baby's heart beat and I couldnt get enough. Everything was coming together so perfectly and for the situation it was going to be as good as it could ever get. The morning of June 22nd, I started having some contractions and went into the ER .... after blood work and seeing the babys heartbeat and going through an IV bag they sent me home saying that my Cervix was possibly shortened putting me at a higher risk for pre term labor but essentially the contractions had started from dehydration and after the IV bag they sent me over to see my doctor/midwife.
When I got there, she didn't have much to say other than stay hydrated and take it easy. Then she got some paper work from the hospital and saw how shortened my cervix was and decided to put me on bed rest for a while and sent me home. I got home and sat around for a while and at around 5 I started contracting again and by 6 my water broke.... I was devistated.... I understood that in my 17th week there wasn't any possible way for the baby to live.
They got me to the hospital and they sent me straight up to labor and delivery and called in the on call doctor who happened to be one of the very best in town. My contractions went from 3 minutes apart to 30 seconds apart within 1 contraction and after an epidural they gave me a small pill to loosen up my cervix and within the next 20 minutes after a little more than 2 hours of labor I passed what I thought was a blood clot and what was really my beautiful baby boy at 9:50.
At first I refused to see him, but after two hours of a steady platosin drip to see if my placenta would come they did a DNC and cleaned everything out. I decided I wouldn't do him justice if I didn't see him. When the nurse brought him in, he was as red as can be from the bruising and the trauma and he was wrapped in a silk bunting that was itsy bitsy and much to big for him. His little hands were so perfectly formed and his little feet were shoter than my nail beds, but holding him gave me so much peace. It made me have huge hope for the future and it taught me just how great of a mom I will be some day when I have a real family and a great situation.
God has a reason for everything and I don't have to know the reason why he took my little Nathaniel. All I have to know is that he's being treated like a king right now in the presence of the most amazing King. This is something that will be with me forever and something I will never forget.
I miss you already my Nathaniel Kieth... Lots of kisses
heartbrokenI can barely see thru the tears to write this, but I know that it will make myself & others feel better in the end.
We had found out the first of May 2006 that we were 5 weeks pregnant and we weren't even trying. We were soo excited, this was going to be our first. At the same time we were planning our upcoming wedding in June 2006.
Today at 11 weeks & 2 days before our wedding, I had experinced light spotting and made an appointment to get cheked out, I heard that spotting was common & was not too concerned since I was almost out of the first trimester. I was told today that I had lost our baby. There was no heartbeat. I can't describe the pain I am feeling right now, and what makes it really hard is that I can't get the image of our baby from the ultrasound out of my head. Just to see it for the first time & to be told that there is no heartbeat and it probably died 2 weeks ago, just breaks my heart. I am scheduled for a D&C first thing tomarrow. I have a great support team that will be there for me and understand that we can't grasp the thought or even muster up the energy to be excited about our wedding this Saturday.
We plan on starting to try to get pregnat when the dr. tells us we can. We didn't realize how much we loved our little one till it was taken away from us.
I am a firm beliver that this is a blessing in disguise and that we will soon have a successful pregnany.
Thank you to all for listening and for posting your stories. It is making me feel a lot better and that I am not going thru this alone!
My storyMy baby was due on 31st Oct 2006. For the past four years i had been trying to get pregnant. After endless tests, surgical procedures and fertility drugs i had finally started to accept that i may never be a mother. Then, just when i had stopped trying, it happened!!!! Nothing can describe the joy i felt then; and nothing can describe the pain i felt and still feel now at having my miracle taken away from me. At 10 1/2 weeks i noticed a light brown bleed and an ultrasound the next day revealed no heartbeat, my baby had died two weeks earlier at 8 1/2 weeks. This was a Thursday and i was booked in for a d&c on the Monday. However by Friday i was starting to miscarry and my partner and i watched our baby slip away from us in our home. I am amazed by the number of people who have gone through similar experiences; most of the time i feel so alone. God bless everyone and thank you for the comfort your stories bring me.
losing my babyMy husband and I got pregnant on the first try. I was really surprised and so excited! At first I didn't think I was pregnant because I was lightly spotting--kind've like what happens at the end of my period. I thought for sure that my period was starting, but it didn't. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I actually took a lot of pregnancy tests and the lines got darker and darker!! The spotting stopped after about a week.
I was feeling very happy and sure that the pregnancy would be okay. I guess I kind've took it for granted since I already have a fourteen month old healthy son who was also conceived on the first try. But I started spotting again about a week later. I was terrified and I called my doctor's office. They said not to worry as long as the spotting was brown. But it just didn't go away. It kept on coming and going for the next couple of weeks. I finally called the doctor at what I thought was eight weeks and said I wanted to come in for an ultrasound. I was ecstatic when the doctor found a little baby with a strong heartbeat!!! The doctor also said the chances of miscarriage go down once you find a heartbeat.
This, unfortunately, was not the case for me. I had been super nervous during the past couple of weeks because it seemed like the spotting was turning more red. I just knew something had to be wrong. My worst fears were confirmed today when I went in to the doctor's office again at nine weeks. The doctor was ready to send me away, but I insisted on another ultrasound. There was no heartbeat at all. The doctor said the baby probably died a couple of weeks ago.
I really think it is impossible to describe the grief of miscarriage. Even though I already have a healthy child, I loved this baby soooo much. I would have given anything to save my child. Now I am waiting for the miscarriage to occur. My doctor gave me some pills that are supposed to make my uterus contract. I've been bleeding, but I don't think the miscarriage has really started yet.
I deeply sympathize with all of you out there who have experienced the loss of your precious babies. At least we are not alone. And although I feel angry with God (I prayed so fervently for the safety of my pregnancy) I know deep down that it is not really fair to blame Him. I know that He loves my child. I really believe that we will see our babies again someday.
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