Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Twins Gone Bye
The day before my husband's 23rd birthday, I took a home pregnancy test and found out it was postive. I was so excited. We had only been trying for a month and we couldn't of been more happy. The next day, a doctor's appointment confimed that I was going to have a baby. Five weeks later, I was terribly sick all day long. I was wondered that something was wrong because I hadn't keeped food down for 24 hours. The doctor did an ultrasound, just to make sure that the baby was alright, and found out I was having twins! It was a little bit of a shock, but we were excited anyways. At my next routine appointment, the doctor did another ultrasound to check the development, since I was having twins, and he couldn't find a heartbeat. He had us make another appointment for an ultrasound, to make sure he was right. Two weeks later, another ultrasound showed no growth, and still no heartbeats. I was told I was probably going to miscarry in the next two weeks. According to him, the babies had been gone for 4 weeks. If I didn't miscarry in the next four, he would do a D&C. By the time the weekend hit, I was so upset because I had been carrying around my dead babies, and I started to get horrible pain. I was in so much pain, I was crying. On the following Monday, I had a D&C. I have since felt so empty. My husband and I want to try again right away. We just aren't sure how long to wait. If I get pregnant too early, I heard you can miscarry again, very easily. I don't think I could go through it again. So we are going to hope for the best.
Two Babies Gone to HevanI have recently had two miscarriages within 5months. With my first prangnancy i was very nervous about telling my partner i wasn't sure how he was going to react i had all these mixed feelings and emotions. I remember sitting on the bathroom floor next to the toilet holding two home pregnancy kits and on both tests i had two faint lines appear, i started crying not because of what the tests had said but because i was happy.
I told my partner that we going to be expecting our first baby and very much to my suprise he was really happy, that evening my partner went down to the local super market and brought 4 more home pregancy kits (he wanted to make sure that the prevous test weren't broken) and they came out just the same as the first two did,. I booked an appointment to see my GP and he confirmed that i was 5 weeks pregnant and my expected due date was the 27/10/2006 we were over the moon that we were going to be parents. The next day i started suffering cramping pains all over my belly and very tight chested. I sorted medical advice and my GP told me that it was growing pains because i am so little my body had to make room. I carried on with this awful pain for 2weeks before i started geting this brown discharge i went to the hospital straight away they said to me that there was nothing they could do to help me and my best bet was to go home.
I went back the next day because i was bleeding alot by this time and the pain i couldn't stand any longer. 8 Hours later they sent me for an ultra-sound it's was then that my partner and i found out that our baby wasn't going to make it and that we'd never get to set eye's on him/her. They sent me home and booked me in for a D&C the next morning. They informed me that my baby hadn't grown since 4weeks I felt so alone, scared and blamed myself for what had happened all i could think about was the fact that i had been carring around a dead baby for 4weeks i was crushed.
About 6weeks later i discovered that i was pregnant again my partner and i were sooooooo happy because we saw this new pregnancy as a new start but yet we were so scared that the same thing might happen to this baby i knew that i couldn't handle the loss of another baby and i knew that nothing could ever replace what we had already lost. I was 5weeks pregnant everything was going great my due date was expected around the 23/01/2007 my partner and i thought that was a sign that everything was goin to be ok because our birthdays both fall in that same week.
I started suffering the same sort of pains 3weeks later and went back to my GP he sent me for another ultra-sound and did my HCG levels everthing was normal. A few days later i started spot bleeding i went back to the Hospital and they told me that my baby wasn't going to make it :-( it was my 8th week to the very day.
I have alot of thoughts and feelings about the loss of my babies alot of them are for self guilt, anger and why did this have to happen. i feel like ive failed my partner that i can't even give him the baby that he's dreaming of. It has been about a week since i found out i am still trying to come to terms with what has happened the last 5months i can't stop crying all of the time i hate looking at babies or other pregnant women because it reminds me on what i'm missing out on and makes me wonder if i'm ever going to have that myself. I just want to sleep so i don't think about our loss but even when i sleep i dream of them i am so heartbroken. I will never forget my babies and the joy that they brought for me even if it was for awhile. They will always be in my memory, thoughts in my heart and will always be loved by there mummy & daddy. RIP my beautiful angels. xox
Surprise to sadnessThese miscarriage stories are unbearable. Last year June 2005 I found out I was pregnant and my now husband and I were no where near trying! We wanted to of course wait until we were married but there were no marriage plans on the horizon. Somehow we conceived and we were both scared and excited but nervous as to how our family would react to my being pregnant without marriage. Well as it turns out, everyone was overjoyed at the news and my husband and I began to plan a weddding for that fall anyways. I was having an interesting time trying to find wedding gowns to fit a 5-6 month pregnant woman but I didnt care what I looked like because I never was one for marriages but this little baby growing inside me was the most important thing in my life now. Well, in August I was at work and I had a strange feeling that something just wasn't right. I went to the restroom and found the slightest bit of blood and of course panicked. The next day an ultrasound showed no heartbeat in my baby. It was so hard to comprehend since I had no idea how common miscarriages are! It was devastating because my husband and I could see our baby's little hands and feet (I was almost 10 weeks). I just did not understand why I would be given such an incredible surprise and then have it taken away.
Meanwhile our wedding plans were in full bloom. It was then hard to plan a wedding that was prompted by a miracle and still be excited about it when that miracle was gone. I felt that I would never get over that miscarriage and to this day am still not. It is amazing how fast I fell in love with my little baby when I was not even trying for it.
For all of you going through that loss now, I know that our friends and family are the best remedy but even then it is hard to hear the same words of comfort and encouragement repeatedly. The most difficult thing to hear is that it is very common and happens for a reason. Give yourself time to grieve, though it is common, that was YOUR baby! No matter what anyone says, you lost something extremely precious to you and there will always be a void in your heart.
So now, on a positive note, I just want to give all you women who have had this happen but now have a fear of trying again some encouragement...I am writing this now being almost 6 months pregnant. We waited the three months after my D&C to try again and got pregnant only a few months after that. My husband and I could not be more excited about this and again this was something that I knew we wanted but not for a while into our future. After being pregnant for those first 10 weeks, I realized how much I wanted a baby more than anything because that joy of knowing that you are going to bring someone into this world is priceless. That first baby brought my husband and I closer than I ever thought we could be! I know I still have a long way to go with this pregnancy and believe me, the fears of miscarriage are never gone, but I just want you all out there to know that there is a light at the end of your tunnel whether it be another pregnancy or a feeling of strength. That temporary precious being that made you stronger today and possibly closer to someone just for that reason! My first pregnancy made me realize how much I wanted to be pregnant and also united my husband and I forever. Thus I guess my miscarriage DID happen for a reason.
I wish everybody the strength to move on from miscarriage because I know how horrible and aggrivating it can be. I hope I do not appear to be bragging about my now pregnancy its just that later after the shock of my miscarriage had decreased, I was searching websites to find out what my chances were of conceiving again and realized I needed a different type of support at that time. I found that these stories were comforting. Again, I wish you all the best in going through such a difficult time and my heart truly goes out to you, and I also wish us ALL MANY HEALTHY BEAUTIFUL BABIES TO COME!
Water Baby Gabriella MarieREAD WITH A OPEN HEART
I lost two babys one made it in the world but i lost him to Social Services I was 16 years old and i was with my Ex at the time, He was bad on drugs and one night i was sleeping and he wasnt home. He showed up in the morning and i woke up to my baby crying so bad that i took him to the hospital to find out why... The doctors told me that he had a broken rib and that it was because someone hit him... My son was only two months old by that time i was 17 and i didnt know who did this to him but then i found out that my ex was doing cocain that night and that he did it... I never got my son back.. I got pregnant again two years later with my Boyfriend now and I was 19 at the time and i was so happy. I had a chance to be a mommy again and do it right with the right person and i went to the doctors like i was supose to and then it came time to tell me what i was having, I did a ultrasound and they said it was a GIRL yay i was so happy they said she was healthy and she was great so i left that day so happy....
TIME TO HAVE THE BABY
October 2 2004 I was having contractions Time to have baby i was so happy and scared but it all was worth it at the time. I went to the hospital and they told me that i would have to have a surgery so i did they told me i was all the way diolated and i was ready so i went into the roon and they had me awake and my boyfriend was by my side the whole time... I heard the doctors say that i had to be put to sleep to do the rest of the delivery I woke up in recovery and i asked the doctor if my baby was dead... He said YES oh i was so druged up that i didnt know what to feel... She was passed away for only 2 days, I didnt know what to think and the doctor kept asking me if i did DRUGS and if you knew me you would know that i hate drugs and i didnt know what happend to my baby and he didnt either....
all i know is at that moment i was mad at god for what he did and i wanted to know why he did this to me and what i did so wrong in my life to deserve this.... i seen my sister have 3 and my other sister have 4 and they dont take care of their kids but here i am trying so hard to be a mom and i cant have it... i was mad at them because a baby is supose to be a blessing not a burden and i wanted it so bad for so long and i felt alone and sad all the time Why me is what i thought but there came a time where i had to addmit to my self everything happends for a reason what ever that reason is for i will never know but i know it was one that god had planed for me since the day i was born.
Well now i am 8 1/2 months with my last baby and i am 21 i went to the doctors and they said she had passed away cause liquids got into her head and she was called a water baby They dont know what caused it but it is not genetic that is for sure.... But i am now expecting one more and i hope that i could really be a mommy this time because what i had to go thru i would never want anyone else to deal with... I have faith and i hope that everything goes well with this one but i do know god does things for a reason and this made me a stronger person inside and make sure you tell the people you love that you love them every day because you will never know when it will be your last chance
This time i know to watch out for the signs and to charish all the kicks and movments and all the pregnancy symptoms because i know that we will soon be together
God bless all of your hearts for what you have been thru and i hope god gives you the strength to get thru it because things happen and you dont know why But our Babys god picked to be his little AnGeLs and we should thank god for that..... you could emial me at [email protected] if you want to talk or ask questions I just hope you all know that there is faith to move on and be happy again and i know that everyday i think of my babies and i will never forget them but i have hope again and i know god will bless me with this lilttle one on 7/ 11/2006
Thank you for reading my storie i hope it touched your hearts.
R.I.P GABRIELLA MARIE TRUJILLO
one week of happinessAlthough we weren't ready to start trying for our fourth baby, I was thrilled on June 8th when I was 2 days late and finally got a positive pregnancy test. I felt like it was a special birthday present just for me since my birthday was June 11th. Initially I had some nausea and breast tenderness. I was so glad to be pregnant that I totally embraced them. June 12th was the last day I really felt pregnant though. June 14th we went to my parents house to celebrate my birthday and tell them the news. I had been getting worried that I was having less pregnancy symptoms and was actually very glad to get slightly nauseated on the way there.
The next morning I felt awful abdominal cramping as I was waking up. I felt my underwear and they were wet, my finger had red blood on it.
I started crying and went to the bathroom. I dug for the pads I had put away so happily, thinking I wouldn't need them for another 9 months. I called my husband and my doctor.
It is three days since that day, now. I still feel so sad. I cry everytime I drive anywhere, or anytime I can get away from my other kids. Sometimes I cry in front of them, but it makes them sad. I wish I could just sleep till this pain is less sharp.
I am afraid to get pregnant again. I am heartbroken that I won't be having a baby in February.
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