Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
I went for my dating scan 3 weeks ago and they told me that I was just over 8 weeks pregnant and they told me that my baby would be due 23.12.06. As that week went by, I saw some bleeding, so I phone my GP up and she told me to rest so that's what I did. The bleeding stopped two days later. So thought "Great, it's over. I can get ready for my sister's wedding." Never thought anything else of it till I started to bleed again. So phone my midwife up and said that I started to bleed again. She told me to do the same, go to bed and rest unless it is bad. 1 hour pases and I started to bleed heavy, so I went to the hospital and they told me to do the same go home and rest. Bleeding stopped again with some pain.
Got up the day of my sister's wedding; things were fine. Got to the dress that I was to wear for the day. Got till 5 pm then I started to bleed and had some pain, thought "Fine. Just take it easy for the rest of the night." Got home. I felt fine but the bleeding was still there. Phoned the hospital. I was told that there was nothing that they could do as it was a bank holiday but to phone my midwife on the tuesday, which I did and she said that she would get me in for a scan as soon as she could.
She phoned me back and said that there was scan booked in 8.40 on the 5.06.06 so they could fine out what was going on, so said fine and that I will be there. So I had 6 days to wait for my scan. Got through those days, don't know how but I did. Monday came up and said to my little boy "Right, are we going to see what this lttle girl or boy is doing to mammy". When we got to the hospital, went through my notes and said that I was 11weeks and 4 days which I knew that was wrong. Than she can just wait there and I'll see how long you will have to wait . She came back and told me that there was about 10 mins to wait before I could have my scan. So I just waited there playing games with my little boy just to let the time go faster.
Then my name was called out, so I went in got ready for it. I was told that she could not get a good picture of it, would I mind her doing a different type of scan and I said no at that time, all I want to know was what was going on but deep down I knew that I had lost it.
She did the other scan and said that she was sorry but there is no heart beat there and could I wait in this room for 5 mins while she got a nures in to sit in with me. All I want to do was to phone my mum to come and get my little boy. They finally let me go out side to phone her. I just out side the hospital and cried. I knew I had to go back up, so I said to my little boy that we would go and get some sweets and go back to that room .
The nurse said "are you ok" when I came back on to the ward. I just fell down to floor crying but what are you to do! They got me back to the room and they told me that baby had died a fews weeks before. I asked what happened. Next they told me that there was 3 way to get the baby out but there was a 4 day waiting list for one of them so I said that I just wanted it over and done with as soon as they could. They said that another hospital could do it later that day and I just said yes to it. I just wanted it over. Got told to go home and get some things for over night so I did.
I came home and came in to my living room and there is some baby things on coffee table that my friend had just dropped off the night before. Got ready for the hospital and went there. They didn't even have my notes there so they didn't even know why I was there for. So they put me in room on my own for a bit. Then they came in said that they were going to an DNC so it would be over as soon as they could, time went on, then my mum came and then I just cry all over again she didn't know what to say or what to do. We went for walk to try and settle me down which it did. I said to her "would you look after my little boy while I'm in here." She told me that she loves him to bits and she did not what him to go anywhere else, she went home to look after him for me. By the time I got back and to the ward, my notes were there and everyone else was ready for me, I got ready to go down so they could do the DNC.
Then the nurse came and said that I might have to wait till the morning as something has come up. I said ok if I have to wait I can wait; I have gone 2 or 3 weeks with it inside me so another day wouldn't hurt. So went to go and phone my mum and say could she look after my son a bit longer and she said that there was no problem with that as long as I was ok. I said that I would phone her if there was any changes. So I went back up on the ward. The next thing I knew was go down to have the DNC done as they took me down it started to really hit me that I had lost my baby. By 7pm, I was back in my room with it all over and done with. Got let out the same night at 10 pm. All I wanted do is to hold my lttle boy and my baby. Now the next day I still don't know if it has hit me really. I feel so on my own I don't want to sleep and don't want to eat. I know I have to be strong for my son. But what about me?
First MC have 3 yr old SonI have a beautiful 3 year old. After waiting a while, we finally felt ready for #2. Had no problems with the first, why would this one be any different? Told everyone and was all set. I didn't feel pregnant at about 9 weeks- no more nausea, belly not expanding like before. Spotting barely but with my first, that had happened, and nothing came of it. Went in anyways and no hearbeaton doppler (there had been one when me and my son went into ultrasound weeks earlier). Luckily he wasn't with me oin this trip. Ultrasounds showed my baby just lifeless and floating with my breathes. I felt like I was leaving my body I was so in shock and sad. Having a hard time since I have a lot of friends pregnant now and due soon. No matter if you have already had a child or not, it is still extrememly difficult! No matter how common it may be, it is extremely difficult! I tossed out the ultrasound picture as soon as I got home- I was so angry. I was worried about how my son would be since he was so excited to be a big brother. The night after I found out, I swear my mind let the baby go. It passed in the morning after crazy strong cramping. I had to have my husband flush it and I think that was the lowest point in my life! All those hopes and dreams down the toilet-literally! That child would have been so loved and was so wanted- we tried 9 mo's! I hated that I saw it. D&C are better in that sense I suspect.
My son asked last weekend when the baby in my belly was coming (as he wlays did) and I had to tell him it wasn't coming and that it was back with Jesus in heaven and that was why Mommy has been crying a lot lately. I can't promise him another will come- cuz it is not up to me. So I just said I would let him know if he would be a brother. I just got my period (1month later) and am a little happy about that- believe it or not. I went through the morning sickness for over 2 months (some while treking around at our Disneyland vacation in April). I am not sure if I want to go through that all again. I lost it last week when I saw my friend had packed her suitcase getting ready for her delivery. So not fair, but life isn't fair. I am speaking with a counselor at church to understand. I know it is His Will and not mine, it still hurts so much. Some part of me wants to get pregnant again right away while the other doesn't want to be "replacing one child for another". So confused......
4 miscarriages, how many more to go?My name is Ellie. I am married to a wonderful man who serves our country. Our daughter is 3 1/2 and we have had four miscarriages, two before our princess was born and two after. The first two weren't as bad as I thought they would be, it sounds horrible, I know. I think we weren't ready to have a baby. Then we had a wonderful pregnancy. When our little one was about 2, we decided to try for another baby. I was about five weeks pregnant, when I started to bleed.
I miscarried a week before Thanksgiving 2004, four days before my husband left for Kuwait for 6 month. I wanted to die... Especially with my MIL telling me that it might have been better anyways... I felt alone and misunderstood because my husband had to concentrate on his mission and he was far away. He got back in April and we started to try again in June. I got pregnant in November, my husband left for another tour to Iraq four days before Thanksgiving. That night, I had to go to the ER because I was spotting. They told me that everything was ok, my baby's heartbeat was perfect and my cervix was closed. The next day I had an appointment with my OB, got an ultrasound pic of the baby, and she told me that everything was still ok.
Two days later, on Thanksgiving Day, the spotting went to bleeding and I went to the ER again, after dropping my daughter off at our babysitter's. They did some tests and and exam. Nothing to worry about, but they wanted to be absolutely sure, so they did another ultrasound. There were three doctors and two nurses in this tiny little room with me. One of the doctors looked at the screen and told me that he had to check my chart again, not that he wouldn't believe me but "there is nothing"... Very nicely put, doc! I went home and had to do the worst thing you can do to a soldier in a combat zone. I've had to send out a red cross message, requesting his return home.
About 30 min after I put in the message, I received a call from my husband telling me that he made it to Kuwait ok and that he missed us already... He didn't get the message yet... So I told him over the phone and he broke down in tears. His Commander tried to get him home as soon as possible, but there was not much he could do. My hubby came home on R&R leave last month, which is way too short to even get used to each other again. Those two weeks were long enough to get pregnant, though. I am four weeks pregnant and this morning started to spot again.
Will this ever stop?
It hurts....I am sat here with tears rolling down my face, while I'm reading these stories.I dont know what prompted me to come here. I have just come back from the hospital after a scan at 5 weeks to find out if my spotting was indeed a miscarriage or not.
They cant tell.
What they can say is that its not a person yet and that its natures way of rejecting what wasnt meant to be.
"Have you been experiencing any pains lately?", they ask.
"Only the one in my heart".
I am a realist. I know when my husband was trying to tell me that such associations should not affect me so strongly at 5 weeks, he says it because he wants to see me happy.
But what I want to know is this...How can you not acknowledge an association you feel growing inside you everyday for four weeks. 31 days. 744 hours and 44630 seconds. Because thats the time I have spent with My Baby in close proximity. Everything I have done, said or thought about has been with My baby in mind. So how am I supposed to just abandon the thought?
I have to go to the hospital again in two days for a follow up Bhcg test, which might give them an idea of whats going on regrding my pregnancy.
The heart breaking bit is.. I have a feeling the battle is already lost.
So here I am sitting by my computer, reading these stories and purging my soul with my tears.
still in shockI found out I was pregnant on a Tuesday night. I took a home test and then went to the ER to have blood work done so I could know for sure. They told me I was five weeks. I was really scared because I am only 21 and wasn't ready to have a baby. My boyfriend and I had not been trying but despite the fact that I was nervous I was excited too. I have always loved children and my boyfriend does too. I was at lunch the next day talking to my best freind about all the fun we would having buying baby clothes and taking him/her to the park and zoo. I got up to go to the bathroom and my panties were covered in blood. I got realy scared and called my doctor. They told me that it was normal to have some bleeding early on in a pregnancy. After a few hours, I had gone through 2 pads and was having reallly bad cpramps so I called the doctor again. They told to me to go back to the ER. They drew blood and did an abdominal and vaginal ultrasound. They couldn't find my baby. They told me the gestiational sac was empty. I was so devastated. A day before, I would have given anything to not be pregnant and at that moment all I wanted was that tiny life to be back inside of me. I cried all night and even though my boyfriend has been amazing through all of this I feel so lost. No one knows what to say to me and nothing they do makes me feel any better.
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