Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
My husband Chris and I had been trying for a baby since March 2010 when I found out in Nov. 2010 we were sooo excited. I started spotting a week before Christmas and thought that it was implantation bleeding but it kept getting heavier went to the hospital Dec 30 2010 the baby was fine.On Jan 3 got up went to the bathroom at 5:30am I was bleeding HEAVY....went to the ER they did a pelvic exam gave me fluids and told me to follow up with my doctor that day since I let them know I had an appointment at 10:15am that same morning. I went to my OB they scheduled an ultrasound at 1:15 pm and NO heartbeat. As every parent we were devastated I had our angel that next morning JANUARY 4 2011 at 1:45 am......I know that our ANGEL is in the hands of GOD and I understand what other mom and dads are going through since this is all still new for us as well GOD BLESS any parent who's had to go through such a hard time. Chris and Crystal Martinez
crystal and chris martinez
Kelsi's StoryI am 22 years old and recently graduated from nursing school, which I did very well in. I had so much going for me and everything I had ever planned for was falling in place. I had a wonderful boyfriend that I loved with all of my heart. Around August 2010 I got offered a job at a hospital on a postpartum/nursery floor. I was ecstatic! Thinking to myself, “Wow! What is more exciting than getting to help new mothers with their beautiful babies?” My parents were so proud. About 2 weeks later, I got more shocking, but exciting news that my boyfriend and I would be expecting our first child. While my boyfriend was at work, I felt terrible for telling him over the phone, but I couldn’t wait. I had held it in for as long as I could- about 2 hours. He was shocked as well, but informed me that everything was going to be fine. We were a very strong couple. Yes, we had disagreements, but never any arguments or fights. I loved him very much, and in my heart I knew we were going to be great parents. He was good to me, never bringing me down, and always lifting me up. We did everything together and always wore smiles.
I was very thrilled that I would start working in a few weeks and would get to be experienced on the floor where I would be working. Also, my doctor’s office is right next door to the hospital. A couple days later we brought our news to his parents. No surprise, they were shocked as well, but were very supportive. As for my boyfriend and I, we decided that it was no rush to get married for these circumstances and agreed to wait until the time was right for us. With that being said, I could see myself being with him for the rest of my life. A couple days after that we told my mother. The feedback we got was NOT what I had expected. I was called very ugly names, and therefore we left minutes after. My heart was broken. Not only scared and nervous about the pregnancy, but my new job (that I haven’t even started), and along with everyday issues life throws at us. I can’t even explain how I felt that day. My mother has always been a big part of my life and I have always looked up to her. To not have her support shattered my everything. The only thing that made my mind at ease on the ride home that day was my boyfriend.
Shortly after, my mom came around and we told my father and he was very supportive. Finally, I felt better. Everyone that was in our immediate family knew. We could now focus more on our baby rather than telling everyone the news. My first doctor’s appointment was on September 8th, 2010. My mother and my boyfriend’s mother both went with me, because he couldn’t be there because of work. Of course, I wanted him there, but I was understanding and he promised me he would make sure to take a day off for the next appt. However, to this day, it makes me sick at my stomach to know that he wasn’t there with me. The appt went well, had my first ultrasound, heard the baby’s heartbeat and everything was perfect! I was 6 weeks and 2 days. My doctor told me my due date is May 2nd 2011. I was so excited and couldn’t wait for my next appointment. Later that evening when my boyfriend got home from work, first thing I showed him the ultrasound pictures!
I began working a few weeks later, which was in the middle of September, 2010. I absolutely loved it. Everyday was such an amazing experience. I was learning so much on what I was going to be experiencing months later. My boyfriend and I decided on a name if it would be a boy… it would be “Cash Thomas”.
On September 29th, 2010 when I got up to go to work, I had starting spotting. By this time I was almost 10 weeks. I was a nervous wreck. It was a very small amount and was pink, and I had already knew that light spotting is normal during the first few weeks of pregnancy, so I decided to ask another nurse when I got to work. She told me I needed to call my doctor right then. My doctor is so wonderful, and informed me to calm down and come over to the office when they open. She took me in our break room and we prayed together. My boyfriend was working nights at the time and had just gotten off and asleep when I had called him. He was on his way. Only a few minutes later he called me back and he had gotten in a wreck. If that didn’t make me feel like crap. Thank God he was not hurt. His mother picked him up and they met me at the doctor’s office just before they opened. We got called back just after we arrived and had another ultrasound done. Being a nurse, I should have known something was wrong, but I was in such shock from everything that had just happened; I was silent. The ultrasound tech never said hardly anything. She cut the machine off and told us that she could not find a heartbeat. I lost it, and burst into tears. There are NO words that can express how I felt at that moment. My boyfriend at my side, held me. Honestly, it felt like a bad dream. I wish I could have just snapped my finger and I could wake up. My doctor told us that this was just the beginning and said a miscarriage this early usually occurs from chromosomal abnormalities, and this doesn’t mean I can’t have a term pregnancy in the future. He sent me and home and told me to come back first thing the next morning for pelvic exam and possibly have a D&C. I was unable to move the rest of the day. How could this have happened to me? I did everything right? I asked myself and God lots of questions.
Later that evening, I stood up and right then I knew I was miscarrying. It was the most terrible thing I’ve ever had to go through. My heart breaks for anyone that has been through it. It is a terrible feeling, like no other. I felt terrible that my boyfriend wasn’t there to hear our baby’s heartbeat that day. The contractions had started and I couldn’t sleep any the whole night.
Everyone had told me “Kelsi, everything happens for a reason.” I know everyone meant well, but that didn’t make me feel any better. I know God never gives you more than you can handle, but I didn’t want to handle this. All I wanted was my baby.
The next day, we went to my doctor. I needed to have a D&C. Around noon I went back to surgery. I was so nervous, but it wasn’t a nervous about the surgery. All I could think about was the baby. What is a little boy? Or was it a little girl? Why did this really happen? Why me? What if I can’t ever have any kids? Would this happen again? I went back to surgery. My boyfriend, My mother, and his mother all waiting. The nurses told my boyfriend that when I woke up from surgery, the first thing I asked was where my boyfriend was. Which put my heart at ease, because I had not even asked him how he felt the day before. I had not thought how he was hurting as well. I was being selfish and only thinking of myself. I couldn’t remember asking where he was. But, even when I wasn’t in my right mind… I was thinking of him. I was pretty much out of it the rest of the day. They sent me home with pain meds but I didn’t feel anything anymore. I was numb.
My boyfriend’s brother’s wife was 2 weeks pregnant ahead of me. Two months later her and her husband found out they are having a boy. Without asking of how I felt, we had to hear it from others that they are naming their baby Kash. How could someone do this to us? Did they realize how much that hurt us? Why? How could someone name their baby that, when we just lost our baby only 2 months before? I had a lot of questions, and never could get answers. I can’t explain how I felt the moment I heard they were naming their baby Kash. Everyone told me “It is just a name.” Well, it wasn’t just a “name” to me, it was much more than that. It was very special to me. It makes me sick at my stomach writing about it. I did my best trying to cope with the loss of my baby as best as I could. But naming their baby the only name picked out made it even harder on me. It was like they were throwing it in my face. I can’t imagine how they sleep at night knowing they did that to us. Little did I know, that this name would be the breaking point for my boyfriend and I. I decided that it was best if I wasn’t around either of them. My boyfriend’s family did not agree with my decision, therefore caused tension between my boyfriend and I.
He then started telling me that I should just “get over it”. Just before Christmas I moved back in with my mother and my two little brothers that I love with all of my heart. After, he would hardly talk to me about anything. He told me he didn’t want to see me or have anything to do with me. I still don’t understand why. What did I ever do? He told me he wasn’t a sad person and told me I should talk to someone because of the way I acted.
It has been 3 months ago today that I had my miscarriage. Still today, I ask myself “Where did everything go wrong?”. I will never forget about my boyfriend and the child we lost. My baby will always have a special place in my heart and next to it will be my boyfriend. To this day, I love him, and I always will.
10 Weeks <3I'm 18 years old and when i found out i was pregnant, i was unsure what to do. My boyfriend and i discussed our options and i decided i definately wanted to keep it, he said he would support me nomatter what. At 9 and a half weeks i started having cramps and a few days later around 1.30am i lost the baby. I couldn't help staring at it, it was tiny, less than a fingernail size, whiteish and transparent.. It's heart was still beating. It had arms and veiny webbed fingers, every intricate detail was perfect. I just sat on the floor holding it in my hand watching it's miniature heart beating, it was about 20 minutes before it stopped. My boyfriend came home and placed the baby in a wooden jewellery box. We had the baby cremated privately and then we scattered the ashes on the beach cliff where we spent our first date. The pain lasted quite a few days but the emotional pain is still with me.. This was 5 weeks ago and i don't feel like things are getting any better. I miss my baby so much!!
Losing Baby DanteI am 18 years old...and i just recently had to bury my baby about 3 weeks ago. I went in for a normal check up and they found that my baby had no heartbeat. I know clue that anything was wrong. All the test came back normal...so i will never know what the cause was. I was 37 wks and was suppose to deliver the next week after my doctor's appointment but then he had already passed away. This isnt the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with in my life. I dont know how im going to make it through this.
missMe and my partner were trying to get pregnant with our third child (It took 12 months), I already have 2 beautiful little blessings. I'd never had a miscarriage before (what I'm aware of), and you just don't think that it will happen to you.
Well... it was 5 days 'til my due period, I was getting progressively sore breasts (something I didnt experience with my other two) it almost felt like my ribs were bruised, and also my sense of smell had enlightened. So I tested the next morning, and to my delight a faint pink line appeared on my internet cheapie test. Keeping it just to myself and my partner, I kept testing everyday for about a week, watching the line get darker, I extra confirmed with a clearblue conception indicater, it came uo with 3+, so I assumed everything was great! , I was around 4 weeks.
Midwife appointment went fine. And then at 6 weeks my legs started becoming extremely weak just at night times, and my breasts returned to normal, and my brilliant sense of smell had just gone. I just thought I were 'getting used to the symptoms'. Also I started having braxton hicks (I know they were, as I have had 2 children, and very in tune with my body). When I googled about my worries, they were always answered in a positive way.
At 8 weeks pregnant I had a dream about a miscarriage, I awoke thinking 'no, no, not me'. Apparently miscarriage dreams are 'rare'.
10 weeks in, I thought everything was going fine, I was watching a dvd with my daughter before bedtime, I felt 'wet' down below... to my horror I was spotting red blood, scared, I had my partner ring an ambulance. I went to hospital, and being reassured that many women bleed in early pregnancy and are fine, I calmed a liitle, but I couldn't stop crying, I just knew something weren't right. I had a blood test, and was sent home. I carried on bleeding the next day, not much though, about 2/3 pads a day. It got progressively worse, so I went back into hospital, I had another blood test and an internal, I had alot of blood come away during my internal, and it was bright red.
Got the results from my bloods, my hcg was just over 19,000. I thought that was high, but apparently it was low, it should have been 25,000 or higher.
They basically left me to miscarry, but I was clueless, and so,so scared. I got really constipated all that weekend as I was scared to push. That night (second day of bleeding) I got mild cramps, I had the urge to go to the toilet and push. I got toilet roll ready in my hands underneath me. And a long (2in wide, about 5in tall) came out of me in a complete clot, it looked like a 'string' near the middle, and went on to a roundish clot at the bottom. (all looking like conjealed blood, dark red). I passed another clot in the morning which I didnt even feel come out, it was half the size as the first.
I was devistated, very emotional, and felt very dizzy. (fresh air helped alot). I had to wait then for 2 days to have an ultrasound. Well there was no 'vialble pregnancy', and my bloods from the ultrasound day confirmed my hcg level went from over 19,000 to 2,000 in 2 days! my miscarriage had been completed and I didn't bleed for long after.
The ultrasound technician confirmed off the picture we took of the largest clot, that I had a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks, and so carried I had it inside me not knowingly for 4 weeks, and it had died.
My ultimate Worst experience ever, and I really feel for every woman who has gone through/going through it. Much worse emotionally than I thought, I couldn't even imagine if my baby actually looked like a baby, in a way I was lucky it happened sooner than later on in the pregnancy, I couldn't even imagine, deepest sympathies to all of you.
Well its been 3 months since it happened, I have an odd tear now and again, but I'm staying strong for my children and for myself, and you should try to do the same. Like they say things are meant to be, and the world is cruel.
In science it says miscarriages under 12 weeks, are most likely chromosonal problems, it wasn't fully human, so the body rejects it.
I know the facts, but I like to think it was a beautiful little baby, it was mine, I was its mother, and I will hopefully meet with my little angel baby one day, there is not 1 day that goes by that I don't think about it.
I am currently trying to conceive, I am scared that it will happen again but you can't go through life like that, things are meant to be, we all have a unique path, and I wish everyone fullfills their hearts desires, if you are meant to be a mother, you will be, in one way or another, best wishes everyone, you and I WILL get through it.
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