Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
My husband and I have been together for 10 1/2 years...as soon as we got married in September 2003, we started trying to get pregnant. For some reason, he kept telling me that maybe I should see a doctor because I always had irregular periods and by the time early 2004 kicked in, I still wasn't pregnant.
I finally saw my gyne and after 2 cycles of clomid, I got pregnant - it was the first for either side of our families. I have never seen a man so overjoyed at his wife being pregnant as my husband was.
When I had my triple screening done, the doctor called to tell us I had to repeat the test because the results were abnormal....so I did, and the news was better the second time around because, as the doctor said, the chance of our baby having a birth defect was 0.25%. It was such a low number and we both had no history of birth defects in our families, so we brushed it off.
Then, five months into the pregnancy, our world fell apart. I started cramping in my lower abdomen and it progressively worsened until three days later....I started spotting. A co-worker had told me her story when she was pregnant with her child - she started cramping, too, and the doctors told her she had a UTI...so when my husband and I drove to the hospital that morning, I thought I was gonna go home with some antibiotics because the doctor will tell me the same thing.
After a cervical exam, the doctor said my uterus was very close to the cervix, which was causing my cramps. Then a couple of hours later, my heart drowned. My water broke, and from then on, it was downhill. I knew we were going to lose the baby, but my husband hoped against all hopes that maybe, just maybe, there was a way to save our baby, no matter what it took.
For the next several hours, I went through the most painful cervical exams and ultrasounds....and when the doctors finally gave us no hope, I chose to induce the labor. I was afraid of a C-section (because I saw one as a nursing student), so I chose to "bond" with our baby and went through 13 grueling hours of labor. I didn't want any pain medicine because if was my way of hanging on to what I was inevitably losing. He was 1 lb, 11 inches long.
Throughout this whole ordeal was a difficult blessing....because our baby had amniotic band syndrome, his hands, feet, and face weren't developed normally. After all the genetic testing and an autopsy was done, we were told our next baby shouldn't have the same problem. Months into the grieving process, I started to regret that we didn't bury our baby...but then, I look back and realize that it was a hard decision to make at that time - all we both wanted was to run from that place.
Since the miscarriage, I learned I had PCOS, which is what's making it difficult for me to get pregnant again. I've done four cycles of clomid with no luck...then I decided to switch doctors. I was put on Metformin and Clomid, and two weeks ago, a follicle grew more than 8mm - it was 28 mm! We are awaiting the result of the pregnancy test, and it is gut wrenching. No matter what the outcome, I'm blessed to have a great husband who accompanies me to every doctor's visit and lets me know each day that he loves me....that we won't have a baby when we want one...it's when God feels like we are ready.
I just wanted to let every woman know who has been through a loss of a baby and who is trying so hard to get pregnant...that you are not alone, even though there are times when you feel like you are. As long as you have a partner who is willing to go the distance with you, you have a blessing that can take you through the good times and the bad.
Good luck and God bless!
The ShockAfter having a trouble free first pregnancy, when I became pregnant for the second time, a lot of my first worries were gone. If it went right first time, it would second time, wouldn't it? We found out on Xmas Eve and involved our 2 year old son in as much as we hoped he could understand.
We went along to an 18 week scan following a high risk triple test result to find out if our baby had Down's. The outcome would enable us to be prepared if that was the case. Happily we chatted with the mid-wife and asked her to tell us the sex. It was then that she stopped looking at the screen and placed her hand on my uncovered hip. 'I'm sorry I can't detect a heartbeat.' Those fatal words every mum to be dreads. Our baby had died at 15 weeks.
The delivery was awful but not as dreadful as I had imagined. I was just glad to get home to our son.
The weeks that followed have seen me laughing out loud and then crying for hours. After 4 weeks I do feel a bit better but then you have good and bad days don't you? However, I do feel even closer to my lovely husband following all the support and comfort he has shown me.
I just had a miscarriageHi. I was ten weeks when I had a d/c. The babys heart wasn't beating at nine and my blood levels dropped significantly. My d/c took place two days ago and I am going from being okay to being an emotional wreck. My husband is trying to be strong but it is still so hard.
Fibroid 15 weeks MiscarriageI had a miscarriage this Sat. I was 15 weeks pregnant. it was the 1st child for my husband and I (we both have kids from prior relationships). I have a large Fibroid (9cm) and that has been noted as the cause. I was fine all along until I started to feel some pain last Tues. I went to hosp and they said baby was fine and sent me home. I started bleeding early Sat morning and by 11 am I had lost the baby. I feel incredibly sad at times and then other times ok.
two miscarriages in 8 monthsMy husband and i had been trying since Jan 05 to become pregnant - at the beginning of July I was 1 day late!! 1 day - you can tell i was becoming a bit obsessive at this point! We were absolutely over the moon - we told everyone! 4 weeks later i started bleeding whilst at work. i came straight home and went to my local a and e department!
they referred us to the early pregnancy unit for an appointment that afternoon where they told us that the sac was empty and i had miscarried. the nurse who did the scan needed a few lessons in bedside manners - cow! we went to tell both sets of parents who were both equally devastated, and then had to text friends. i've only just deleted their replies last week! i used to go back and read them. i knew them word for word!
to add insult to injury my best friend conceived in the first month of trying and my sister-in-law, who already has one child which she fobs off onto her mum, is pregnant again and chain smoking!! aaaaargh!
2nd Jan 06 - was 2 days late - yes still obsessing! did pregnancy tests which turned out to be positive! we were overjoyed and scared stiff too! we told our close family and asked them to keep it quiet. my other sister-in-law got drunk and ended up telling everyone anyway - not impressed!
made it past 7 weeks - which is what i got to last time, and was overjoyed! i eventually made it to the blessed 12 weeks and was so happy both my husband and i cried as we knew it was an important milestone! that night i started bleeding - i felt as if it were some cruel practical joke! so i started bleeding and had excruciating period like pain, we both knew what it meant!
there was no point going to the hospital as we knew what they would say and the early pregnancy clinic wasn't open till monday morning. i went to bed on sunday night and woke up around 3am. went to the toilet, and i've never seen so much blood, i looked as if i'd been stabbed - pleasant i know! i shouted for my husband and then passed out. when i came round i told him to ring for an ambulance as i knew i couldn't walk.
i got to the hospital and lost all my dignity! i was made to wear paper knickers and a really dodgy gown. i was examined and told my cervix was open and was therefore miscarrying! the doctor made me do a urine test, i pulled down my knickers and this massive piece of tissue dropped out of me! i honestly thought it was my kidney it was that big! i was screaming so loud the nurses came running and assured me it was only a clot of blood and not my baby!
i was admitted onto a ward and then taken for a scan which told me there was massive amounts still left inside me and would need to have a d&c!
as bad as all this sounds, my husband had the worst of it! he had to phone parents, friends and work to let everyone know what had happened! i wouldn't wish that job - again, on my worst enemy!
we're taking each day at a time, but it's hard when i go to my mother-in-laws or sister-in-laws as they are still excited about the imminent birth of 2nd child and 2nd grandchild! it's hard but we're getting there!
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