Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
I have always wanted to be a mummy. Since I can remember. I had an operation 5 years ago to remove cervical cancer. The operation, a trachelecotomy, was to allow for possible pregnancy. In September 2005, my husband of 1 month and I had IUI insemination and to our delight conceived our daughter immediately ( I am 37). Due to the fact I was under care, and as I am considered high risk, I watched my daughter develop from conception.
Every week, seeing a new development via ultrasound, she was amazing to watch. With this type of surgery I was warned I was high risk and that the chances of Premature rupture of Membrane was high, and I was under constant care. AT 20 weeks my husband and I named Amy and started considering purchases for her. She was healthy and strong. At 22 weeks my world fell apart. My membrane ruptured and I was rushed to the hospital expecting the worst. I was stabilized and moved to a high risk hospital and hoped that our little Amy could make it to 24 weeks. I was monitored around the clock, the baby's heartbeat strong and I was doing fine.
On February 22, 2006 at 23 weeks 3 days my worst fear had become reality. We could not find her heartbeat. I was sent for an ultrasound and after seeing so many, I knew what to look for. No one had to tell me she gave up her fight. I delivered her by C section on the 23rd. I have been unable to view her pictures from the hospital, my heart is just too heavy. I can hardly believe how much I miss her.
Reading all of your stories somehow has helped me as I hope mine will help someone else. My husband and I have decided that even though we are fearful, we will try again. Our Amy would want it that way. I feel her little spirit with me every day now, cheering me on and encouraging me to be as strong as she was.
I know that the love I have for her will always be strong, and I thank God for all the time we did have together, and the fact that she has made me a mummy.
Blessed despite the sorrowWe planned our first and it all went great. We planned our second and right on cue were pregnant again. I was a bit worried because I have a thyroid issue this time and if not mananged, is a top reason for miscarriage. We had my levels under control so I proceeded to allow myself to get more and more excited as the end of the 1st trimester approached.
I passed that 12th week and was so excited to go in for my monthly checkup. Well, that was the day we found no heartbeat. We did an ultrasound and there was the picture of my baby - lying at the bottom of my uterus, not moving, no little white circle beating. Turns out I made it to the 13th week, the baby only to 10 1/2. No spotting, bleeding, cramping, NOTHING! I felt so betrayed by my body - why didn't it warn me, tell me, SOMETHING?!
I had the D&C the next day and have never been so despaired in my life. Here was this little life that I had cared for and now it was just gone. In one day I wasn't pregnant anymore.
The next day, a friend said something to me that helped me - made me feel more at peace about the fact that I had carried this lifeless little baby for 2 1/2 weeks. She said that the body was dead but the soul needed to stay with its mommy for a while. It didn't want to go. My baby loved me as much as I loved it.
I now know that the pregnancy wasn't in vain. A little soul is up there waiting for me with love in its again beating heart.
mommies babyI was only 15 when i first got pregnant. Me and my boyfriend were so excited but scared because we were so young. I had got use to the fact that I was pregant and had even told my family.
I was 12 weeks when i miscarried. Me and my boyfriend had gotten into an argument and i left the house going to my sister's house. On my way out the door I tripped and fell on a rock. My boyfriend came running out the house. I was fine so i just went back in the house and layed down.
Around 12: 23am I woke up with really bad cramps, thinking it was just a sign of gas. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep but i couldn't. the pain became worse to the point where i felt i had to take a bm. when I went to the rest room passed my baby through. It was painful to see.
i called my boyfriend and informed him on wat happen and we both cried together. i went to the doctor the next day and the doctoer told me it was probably just from stress and that i should be glad to have a boyfriend that was there for me.
To all the Ladies who have lost a child, you're not alone. i know how you feel. It's painful but with the help and strength of each other, we can over come.
God Bless you.
EmptyI am 34 years old and found out two weeks ago I was pregnant. My husband and I were so excited. I felt as if I was having some sort of huge spiritual experience, I felt as if I could fly. With our first child I didn't know I was pregnant until 5 1/2 months due to my highly active lifestyle, so I didn't even notice the intense feelings that are associated with pregnancy.
Everything seemed to be going wonderful, then I started spotting....it was old blood so everyone told me not to worry, it's normal. Well the old blood turned into more and more new blood and then came the cramping. It was Friday night Mar 24th. I began cramping from 10pm until Sat morning..needless to say at that point I was a mess, my dr was out of town and things have taken a turn for the worse.
As Sat went on, I began clotting and passing things that were just not right...my bleeding became heavy and I was having contractions every three minutes...Then there it came, I passed my baby attached to the placenta...the visuals of what I passed and caught (sorry if that is graphic, those of you who work in the med field will understand) ) is haunting me and I am a complete mess. I like to think things happen for a reason but I am struggling with the fact of why did I conceive just to lose it for unknown reasons.
It's helpful to read all of these other women's stories and know that I am surely not alone and the feelings I am having are normal. This is truly something only a woman who has experienced it would understand...I feel so empty inside, my little night light has been turned off....I hope to conceive again after my body recovers but in my heart I will always love the baby I lost..
I pray for all of you women who have had this horrible life experience, and hope the next time has a much happier ending.
Forever Our SonMy boyfriend and i found out I was pregnant when I was 8 weeks along. We were really excited but a little worried because we were so young. (I was 16 and he was 19). I knew I was young but I have always done things early in my life ( I was graduating in 10 months).
As time went on, we slowly began to realize the reality of everything and excitement overwhelmed us. We went shopping all the time to buy cute little outfits when we found out our little angel was a boy. We spent hours talking to him and planning our future as a family. Everything was going great, but at 36 weeks I went to the doctor's because I had lost my mucus plug and they wanted to make sure that I wasn't going into labor.
I went to the doctor's where they checked for Jayden's heartbeat and didn't find anything. They did two types of sonograms, used the stethoscope, and the pocket dop. but still couldn't find a heartbeat. They immediately sent me to the hospital to try another sonogram because his back was turned towards my stomach.
At the hospital it was officially announced that our baby boy had passed away. I was induced that night and had Jayden Michael at 2:15 the next morning. He was 6lbs. 15.5 ounces 20 inches long. He was gorgeous. My, now fiance, and family and I sat for hours talking to him and holding him and telling him how much we loved him. I cried harder than ever for 2 months.
It's the hardest thing in the world to have to bury your child. Now 2 and a half months later, I am 17, my fiance and I are stronger than we have ever been. Even though we still have our tough days like when we see other children, our relationship is stronger because of all that has happened in the last 10 months. There isn't a time in our lives when we don't wish we were back in our arms, or anything we wouldn't give or do to have him back, but we know he is in a better place. I can't wait until the day I can see him and hold him in my arms again.
We know we are still young but we are getting married in 7 months and are planning to try again as soon as we are mentally and emotionally ready. I am terrified to try again and would really like to try again sooner rather than later but not until we are ready. We will never forget our little boy, and no one can ever take his place. We go out to visit him at the cemetery almost every day and we talk to him through our prayers.
I pray for anyone who has to go through what we went through. It is the most terrifying and the biggest nightmare anyone can experience.
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