Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Although James was born over 27 years ago I still remember him every day. He was born 6 days early, 39 weeks + 1 day into my pregnancy. My pregnancy had been quite normal with no problems, then one evening approximately one week before he was born he was extremely active, kicking and fighting. I mentioned this to the doctor the next day at my ante-natal appointment, he said there was nothing to worry about and he could hear a strong heartbeat. A few days later I had a ‘show’ on the day I was due to go to the hospital for my ante-natal appointment; I was very excited as I knew this was a sign that the baby would be born soon. At the hospital the midwife confirmed that I was in the early stages of labour, but then she went to check the heartbeat – nothing. She said not to worry; it was probably their machine not working properly. I went to the maternity hospital (about three miles away from the hospital where I had my ante-natal appointment). I was greeted by a midwife whom it transpired had been told that my baby had died, but she had no idea that I hadn’t been informed. In those days we had a bath before giving birth, whilst in the bath I asked the midwife what happens now? She said I would have to go through the labour and give birth naturally. When they broke my waters, the waters were green, I was informed that this was a sign that the baby had been in distress. James was stillborn a few hours later, he was absolutely perfect. It transpired that the cord was tightly wrapped around his neck and he had basically strangled when the head engaged. I felt very guilty for years after, I should have gone into hospital when the baby started kicking and fighting – this was abnormal for my baby, I should have acted then. I was later told that had I gone into hospital then they would have realised the baby was in distress and carried out an emergency caesarean operation. I now have three gorgeous children, but I can’t forget my first born, I still cry when I think about him.
Taya/Taye- My heart feels emptyI'm 29 years old and 3 days away from my 30th birthday. Two years ago i suffered my first miscarriage and thought nothing could feel worse, i was wrong. This is not to diminish someones first miscarriage but with the 2nd miscarriage the pain and the loss feels like u could drown from it and somehow u felt like u knew it was gonna happen bcus after 1st miscarriage u dont get the luxury with the next pregnancy to be worry free. I found out i was pregnant a couple weeks ago (7 Weeks along) and with my birthday pending and all the nerves associated with turning 30 i allowed myself to think God had blessed me with the best birthday gift ever. I was the girl meant to have kids and everyone around me knows it yet i'm the one without. My younger sister by 9 years got her daughter and before my niece her heart was never open to the idea of kids. i have been the best aunt to not only my niece but to my girlfriends kids. I've gotten all the words of encouragement "these things happen for a reason, believe god has a plan for u. Thanks, but i'm just not there yet. All i feel is alone in my love for this baby that should've been. Even with my fear of a miscarriage that surrounded this pregnancy i still allowed the dream of a future with me and my baby to creep into my mind and heart. I DONT think i could go through this again. U worry everyday with a new pregnancy about another miscarriage after experiencing ur first loss but when it happens it truly leaves u unprepared. Taya or Taye mommy misses what was meant and i'm sorry i dont know how to let ur daddy in. Ur loss is still so fresh. just realized today i was losing u-cant stop crying.
I was 9 weeksMy boyfriend and I had just separated when I found out I was 5-6 weeks pregnant. I new at that moment having just turned 29 that I want nothing more than to be a mom and have this baby even though circumstances were not ideal. Ive felt so many feelings , nervous, lonely, scared, happy, content, joyful blissful hormonal crazyness! I called to tell my boyfriend the news he was supportive and excited and so we moved back in together and started planning for a baby, so in love! The scariest part about this for me is that we are living in a foreign country for work, both far away from our doctors and families and had changed 4 doctors, giving diff. advice, no pre natal. so i had to learn it all from friends and internet. which was just fine.I knew i was healthy eating right and then so is my baby. The fist five weeks of my pregnancy was very interuppted with personal anxiety, thoughts to get abortion all kinds of fear but when i saw my little fetus on the scan i was so happy i cried and would never do that. i know these thoughts of fear were not healthy for any of us.
Well, I finally calmed down and let every thought go that was not positive and happy for my new family. We planned to go to the best doctors and fly to singapore this coming week. But i lossed my baby on sunday 10-31-10 at home the most horrifying thing in my life. It was so painful physically emotionally and i feel so sorry for us as we were so excited and the past months its all i could think and talk about. Had it been my fault?. NO doctor had informed me not to have sex the first weeks in trimester, friday night we had sex saturday a deep-balinese tissue massage and a brownish bleeding started. then the blood came. my boyfriend rushed home from work took me to the e.r. and they showed me my baby(fetus) this time with no heartbeat and said i still had hope. But i knew it was not right..this was saturday night. On sunday morning everything came out on the bathroom floor. I am crying and crying.. we wanted this baby so dearly...my pregnancy journal ended shortly, with his support im getting thru this but no one can understand unless youve gone thru it.i I I am still bleeding tremendously with a lot of clotting. I am not sure how long it will take for my body to heal but will try for another blessing as my body recovers and we recover from this tragedy. I do blame myslef a little we blame ourselves for the rough irresponsible sex we had that may have caused this loss. Maybe someone has a similar experience or could learn from my tragic loss. must learn our lessons and move on. BUt something never in my life to forget. I wish you all who read this to be well and luck with future pregnancies. God Bless
avery ana nicoleim sixteen, and mid august i found out i was pregnant. it was with my ex, lucas. and i had already moved on. i told lucas, and he said he was okay with it, thing is he had moved to a different state. so i then decided to tell my newer boyfriend, and told him since we were only two weeks into the relationship, that he could opt out of my pregnancy. he said no, and decided to stay. then lucas found out, and said f*** you and that baby, its not mine. then brody had wanted to take his place as the father. lucas got pissed. and they fought and fought, well eventually, lucas dropped out of both of our lives. and a few weeks ago when i was 10 weeks, i woke up with pains and blood everywhere. i didnt know what to do, so itexted both lucas and brody, and told them i had a miscariage. lucas said he was sorry, and that he wishes it w\didnt happen. all brody said was oh, because to him. it was OUR baby, HIs baby, with me. it may not have been his DNA, but it was his. i have been very depressed about it, brody wanted to try again, but i said i didnt know if i could take another miscariage. the doctors told me i will never carry a baby full-term.
Griefwell i am 17 years old and mid september i found out that i was pregnant. i was scared but excited. two nights ago i started bleeeding bad and had bad cramps so i went to the hospital where they told me i was having a miscarriage. the doctors did a d&c the next morning since they fetus was still inside of me. now i dont know how to feel. i'm confused and upset and feel so empty. all i have done is cry and cry. i have stopped eating and havent slept and i hate this. my boyfriend is not even really there for me since he has yet to have called me or answered my calls or text when i tried to tell him. i feel alone and scared and i just dont know how to deal with losing my baby. my mother doesnt understand she just says it is fine but she doesnt understand that no matter how far along i was, it was still my baby. how do i get through this?
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