Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
8 weeks but already loved
I was 8 weeks pregnant. I was already in love with my baby. I started spotting but everyone even doctors told me it was normal. I went to the er one morning after the bleeding started again. The doctor took a look at me and my baby and saw everything was fine. My heart was filled with joy. An hour had passed and i was still in the er i had then started to worry again, i remember think why is it taking so long for me to leave everything is fine...everything was not fine. A youg doctor comes in and she had tears in her eyes she told me i had a miscarriage but the baby had not came out. I could not believe she was crying. She was lying. I then knew it was true my heart dropped i wasnt the same. I cried for days. i still cry about it. Im scared to try again but i want one so bad. Everyone around me is having a baby even my sister who always used to say she didnt want kids. Why did this happen to me. I hope g_d will bless me again very soon i just hope he wont take him or her away
In the Lords armsI was fourteen and a half weeks pregnant with my second child. When we lost our second child to what I have learned is a missed miscarriage. My husband and I had a difficult getting pregnant with our first child and were expecting the same to be true when we began to try for our second baby.
Much to my surprise, I was pregnant after just trying one month. I was elated and overjoyed, but still felt it was too good to be true.
I waited until I was 10 weeks with this baby to tell anyone or post anything on facebook. At this point I went out and purchased a bunch of new maternity clothes and even a thing or two for our new addition.
I seemed to be a bit more sick with this pregnancy than I was with my first. I took this as a good sign, because I felt it meant my hormones were strong. Once I had reached 13 weeks, I let my guard down and knew I was safe after making it through the scary first trimester.
I was pretty sure the baby was a girl and I was going to name her either Cecilia Jewel or Sadie Jewel. My son (2) would talk about the baby in mommy's tummy and would give his new sister kisses.
On Tuesday August 3, 2010 I went to my moms house to drop off my son and then proceded to my OBGYN's office for my appointment. I went into the office and got up on the table. I was so excited to hear the babies heartbeat for the second time, but this time with the doppler. The doctor began to search for the heartbeat. I would smile everytime I thought I heard it, but the doctors face grew more conncerned everytime he moved the doppler. He kept saying to me "thats not it, lets check here". He then told me that maybe we were off on the due date and that he wanted me to go in for an ultrasound.
I went back into the wating room and waited 45 min. I knew deep down that something was wrong, but I coould have sworn I felt at that very moment that the baby had moved. I thanked God in a little prayer and continued to wait. I texted my mom and husband to let them know that I would be running late and what was going on.
After waitng for what seemed like an eternity, the ultrasound tech came out and took me back to the room. She asked what the problem was and I said tha doc had a difficult time finding the heartbeat and that we may be off on the due date.
She had me lie down and began to wand my belly. I could see on the screen that the baby looked the same as it did the last time. She measured the baby and said the baby is measuring 11 weeks old. I was confused and a million thoughts ran through my head, but nothing could prepare me for waht she said next. She told me that there was no blood flow to the baby and no heartbeat. I gasped for air but felt as though the air had just be sucked out of my lungs, I had even forgotten how to inhale. I was told I'm sorry by the teach and was lead to an isolated room. My nurse came in hugged me and offered me water and her condolences. My doctor came in and said that the baby had probably died a week after my last appointment and that I did nothing wrong. He told me I needed to undergo a D&C the next day at the hospital. He told me how sorry he was for my loss and lead me out a back door to my car. He didn't want me to have to walk through a crowded wating room of pregnant women.
I texted my husband and tried to pull myself together on my way back to my mothers house. When I opened the door. She said is eveything okay? I shook my head no and began to break down. She hugged me and began to cry. My husband came and got me and we wnet home. He, my mom, and his mom called the rest of the family to let them know.
That night I couldn't sleep, I was sure the baby was still alive and I couldn't bare the thought of them removing the baby. I insisted they do another ultrasound, but my husband reassured me that the baby was no longer alive. In the hospital bed I lay asking God why had this happened? What did I do wrong? Did I not drink enough water? Did I take a pill that had taken my unborn childs life? I went over every moment of the last 15 weeks of my little babies short existence searching for what I had done to harm her. I sobbed in that hospital bed begging for clues as to where I went wrong.
I was reassured that, nothing I did was to blame and that this is how nature take care of things.
I was given medication to calm me down, kissed my husband goodbye and held on to my belly and I was wheeled in to give birth to a baby that was no longer with me. A baby I would never see, hold, kiss, or hug.
As soon as I went to sleep, I was awake again. I felt numb, weak, and sad. I asked if the baby was a boy or a girl. The nurse said she didn't know. The nurse told me she went through it as well and that she was sorry for my loss.
I went home and went to bed, I couldn't speak to anyone. My husband guarded me and screened calls. Thanking people for their prayers and kind words and letting them know that he would tell me they had called. Six days after the D&C my minister adnhis wife came over. We had a memorial service for the baby. We prayed for the healing of our pain.
Days went by, and weeks went by. I had good days and bad days but everyday was a challenge. Facing questions, tilted heads and hugs, and being asked how my pregnancy was going was a constant fear. Would I make it through the day without breaking down? Would I be able to put on a smile and be my usual chipper self?
I felt as though I had lost a family member and I had, but no one around me could relate, not even my own husband. To the world I had lost a pregnancy, but to me I had lost a child. A child I had held everyday for nearly 15 weeks. Everything I did I though about the child I was carrying. I had made plans for the baby. I saw a future with our new baby and it was hard to begin changing those plans, dreams and hopes.
It has been almost two months since I was faced with the hardest thing I have ever experienced. If it were not for my strong faith and being able to talk with those who had been through the same thing I would not have been able to get through it. For everyone out there suffering this loss, I want you to know that time really does heal. Don't be afraid to talk and share your feelings out loud with others. If you feel as though you have no one to talk to write down your feelings.
Every night I pray for everyone going through this. Take comfort inknowwing that you are not alone and that everything will be okay.
Molar and miscarriageI was 20 years old when i fell pregnant with our first child my partner and i were terrified but really excited, i didnt really know how i was meant to feel and i didnt know how far gone i was. I was waiting for my dating scan appointment when one day i started bleeding i thought it was nothing and went to the doctors, they were amazing so was my boyfriend but after scans we found out we had lost our baby at 4 months into the pregnancy, after many blood tests we found out i had suffered a molar pregnancy a day later i was having a D&C. I woke up crying and i dont feel like i have stopped, our families were amazing however some made things worse and our relationship with them is finished. Our baby would have been due July 2010, what made it worse was that i lost our baby on my 21st birthday, i never look forward to my birthday any more! i was told not to get pregnant for a year in case i needed treatment i underwent many tests and luckily i didnt need chemo. When i fell pregnant for a second time in June 2010 i felt it was obviously meant to be but i didnt feel excited i was so scared and for good reason i lost the baby 3 weeks later. My boyfriend had been amazing and i know he is hurting but whenever i am on my own our babies are at the forefront of my mind and i cry constantly but i dont talk to anyone about it because i feel like i should be over it by now, we are getting married in 2011 and people keep saying forget about getting pregnant untill we are married but i cant forget about it i feel like this is the one thing i am made to do and i cant do it. I want my partners baby with the whole of my heart but what if it happens again? what if i cant get pregnant again? x i will never forget our babies Lilly and Eden Grace are always in my heart, I love you x
DevastatedOn September 17, 2010 I lost my baby due to miscarriage. I am 42 years old and didn't even know I could still get pregnant. I have only one child who is 17 so finding out I was pregnant at my age was a shock. However, the instant I saw that plus on the test I wanted this baby more then anything. However, right after finding out about the baby I started having a brownish discharge. I kept reading online that it was normal and I so wanted to believe that was true. A few days later it turned to blood and I knew what was really happening. I went to the ER. They did a pelvic check, an outter and an inner ultrasound, and blood tests. I was then told I was beginning a miscarriage. The next few days I was an emotional mess. The pain of having my baby bleed out of me has been one of the worst things I've had to deal with. It's also been very painful physically. The cramps were very bad. I guess yesterday was the worse and the end of it. The bleeding seems to have stopped. However, my sadness has not. Why would God give me a baby and then take it away? Why. Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to be angry at God but I kinda am.
Little Ricky....our future lostAfter having my first pregnancy with no complications, I was almost complacent when I was pregnant with my second child. Looking back, there were signs that things weren't right but at the time I wasn't concerned. My pregnancy flew by and all was fine until I woke up one day in my 38th week. The day before, I had told my husband that I felt that I had more energy and didn't feel pregnant any more.
That night he pushed on my stomach and the baby just floated to one side. He assured me that everything was fine but that we should go to the hospital the next morning....it wasn't until later that he told me that he knew the baby was "gone" but that he had wanted me to get a good night's sleep knowing that we had a lot of stress in store.
The next morning we went to the hospital and I was given an ultrasound. After a while the doctor asked me if I had ultra sounds before. After stating I had, he asked me if I remembered what the beating heart looked like. When I answered yes, he informed me that this baby's heart wasn't beating and it was then that our lives changed forever. After the initial shock we were told to leave and come back that evening for them to induce labor.
It's strange how our lives were in slow motion after that and yet everyone around us was moving as if their world had not ended.
To make a long story short......after 18 hours of induced hell, I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy. He was perfect in every way except that he was not breathing. Sometimes I think it might have been easier if he had had something wrong.
It's been almost 21 years now since our lives changed and although the pain fades it never goes away.
I searched for answers and found none....no help.....nothing. The nurses at the hospital couldn't even look me in the eye. There were no support groups or anyone to talk to. They gave me a book entitled "When hello means goodbye" and sent me home.
That's why I am writing today........If you need to talk, find someone who has the compassion to listen. The last thing you need to hear is "you can always have more children".
If anyone needs to talk.....Find someone who has been through this.
I"m here if you need an ear or a "shoulder to cry on"!
All my love and sympathy goes out to you........
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