Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Missed Misscarriage found at scan 13.2 Weeks
Hubby and I had decided back in October that now was the time, and if "it" happened then so be it.
We didn't expect to get pregnant so quickly but I missed my next period! We were initially in shock as we really didn't expect it to happen so quickly!
I got most of the pregnancy symptoms apart from sore boobs, they got much bigger but never hurt, and I was never sick, i just felt like it.
Just before Christmas we got a date through for our first scan, it was to be at 13.2 weeks.
I rang them back asking them to change it to make it a 12 week scan but they refused saying that 13 weeks was the optimal date.
Hubby and I had only told a few people, but I had to tell work as soon as I knew as I had to be put on light duties, which meant working in an office.
I tried to keep it as low key as possible as I knew that things don't always go to plan and so we wanted to be open minded about the whole thing. I prefered to just have no one know.
The day of our scan arrived and we went into the room, the lights were dimmed and then we could see our baby on screen. It looked perfect to us. Then the sonographer said the baby was still low down and asked me to go drink some water and to come back in 20 mins.
Hubby and I spent the next 20 mins joking about "at least its not twins" and those sort of comments.
We went back in and after about ten minutes of looking and measuring the sonographer said "Isorry theres no heart beat".
I was absolutely dumbfounded. But I could see my baby! I burst into tears, Hubby looked shocked and just held my hand.
The next hour passed in a daze, and I then found myself booked in for an ERPC (evacuation of retained products of conception).
I dropped Hubby off at work andIi went home in shock and packed a hospital bag.
That night I had a bath and just stared at my bump thinking "I have a dead baby inside me". It sounds awful but I couldnt help it andIi just cried and cried.
The next day we arrived at the hospital and waited 10 hours to be told they couldn't fit me in. Hubby only had one daysannual leave left and had used it to come to hospital with me, if he wanted any more time off it would have to be unpaid and we couldn't afford it, so I planned on going in on my own the next day.
Luckily a friend stepped in last minute and accompanied me.
I arrived in hospital at 12 and was in there by one. It was a really horrible experience, being wheeled through the corridors, having people stare at you as you have tears streaming down your face.
I woke up 2 hours later. The procedure should have only taken 30 mins, but because i was over 13 weeks I bled a lot.
I was wheeled back to my room where I felt a huge sense of loss.
Hubby arrived not long after and I was so glad to see him.
I was then kept in for obs because I had lost so much blood, and I was put on a ward with other women who were booked in for random minor ops. I felt bloody awful crying my eyes out in a room full of strangers, one lady patient even came in my cubicle and asked me what I was scared of!
I didn't sleep at all that night but I wasn't in any physical pain, which really surprised me.
The next day was spent crying or staring out of the window and I had another scan at 12 o'clock which showed that my uterus was now completely empty.
I was discharged at 6pm.
I've bled a little each day since the op but it has got less and less, the worst pain is my boobs.
Whats worse is if i had of managed to change my scan date to 12 weeks we would have seen our baby alive, we would have told the whole world and I would be sitting here now not knowing that my baby had died and I wouldn't know until I started to miscarry naturally or found out at my next scan.
I have to wait 2 weeks before I can get any results back.
losing my boy at 22 weekson the 29th of november 2009 @ 6.30 am. i delivered our baby boy kian still born.he was so perfect and fresh didnt seem like nothing was wrong .i already have a son of 4 and my patner has a son of 5 .we really wanted a baby together ,after 3 mnths of trying i concevied .at 14 weeks i had a heavy bleed they couldnt find the reason why i went back up a week later again bleeding i had a bleed at the placenta.i was so scared my doctor signed me off till 20 weeks scan.i had my scan at 21 weeks everything was fine had the all clear .we were so releaved went out and brought most things .within 3 days i didnt feel any movements i went straight up ,they couldnt hear the heart beat so they scanned me no heart beat we were an still are deverstated .im constantly thinkin about him all the time i cry out the blue . keep having flash backs of everything its so hard ,we are still waiting 4 results to come back and to see a counciler which i think has dragged on ,no one comes to see u or offer any help.i feel like u are left to deal with it on your own .i really want to try again but too scared ,what if it happens again ? my son i love him to bits he dont understand but we have tried to exsplain ,i feel sad all the time and i really need to be strong 4 him and be there 4 him but its hard some days .we will never forget u our beautiful baby boy love mommy and daddy xxx
My AngelMy BF and I had been trying for 5 months. Not as long as many couples, but it seemed like forever to us. Finally, on Dec 24, 2009, I found out I was pregnant. It was to be the first child for both of us.
I think my BF was even more excited that I was. He was so protective and loving, would hold my hand when we were walking on uneven ground so I wouldnīt fall. He was always trying to make me eat right even when I was nauseous. He wouldnīt even let me wash the dishes. He was so loving and so excited about this baby and we thought we had been blessed with the best Christmas gift ever.
Then I suddenly had an abrupt end to the pregnancy symptoms. I was suddenly no longer nauseous, no longer had a headache, smells were no longer bothering me, etc. I didnīt think much of it and at first I was relieved because I wasnīt feeling so miserable. But later that night I started spotting brown blood, which turned into heavy, bright red bleeding. That was on New Yearīs Eve. It was the worst day of my life, I can only compare it to when my best friend died in a car accident at the age of 15.
We decided to name our baby. Every baby deserves a name, even those that donīt make it to term. Plus, it shows that we lost a child. Not just a fetus, but a child. Since we didnīt know the gender, we decided on a unisex name. It took us about 3 weeks to decide. The babyīs name is Paris Emerson Lee.
My BF picked Paris, from Homerīs Iliad. I chose Lee, my motherīs middle name. Together we chose Emerson, in honor of Ralph Waldo Emerson, a free thinker and trailblazer in his own right.
My Little 'Baby B'"Your'e going to be a Dad". The words that Ive always dreamed of.
I was out working when my partner called me telling me the fantastic news we had both been waiting for. From that moment- my whole life had changed, we were planning to do so much. The pregnancy seemed fine, everything as normal as could be.But a week before our first scan when my partner was out shopping with her dad, she went to the toilet and noticed a small portion of blood. She called me and said that she was going to see a doctor. I rushed to her as fast as I could. When I arrived she had been told to go straight to hospital. My heart was now in my throat! We went straight there and after hours of waiting and tests they eventualy told us just to go home and relax. It was nothing to worry about and was quite common.
Feeling relieved, we went home, had dinner and went to sleep. At about 2.30 am I woke up to a howeling. Half asleep- I thought it was the dogs downstairs. Then I realised it was Caz shouting in pain. I instantly knew what was happening, but refusing to give up, I helped her put some clothes on and picked her up. I put her in the car and zoomed to the hospital. We arrived at the maternity ward and they began to do tests. Just as they were about to do a 'ladies' test they saw how soaked in blood her bottoms were. She was cleaned up and given pain killers. She began to calm down and they booked us to have an emergancy ultrascan. We were only waiting about 30 mins before we went in, but it felt like 3 months. I couldnt bare to look at the screen, but I couldnt help notice the nurse's expressions. She paused and said "I will be back moment." When she returned, there walked in a second nurse. My heart was pounding so hard. Only a few moments later she said those spine chilling words .......... "Im so sorry but i cant find a heartbeat. Your baby was about 8 weeks old."
Hearing that sentence made me forget the reason of living, but I had to be strong for Caz. Its been just under a year now and we our expecting again. We are both petrefied that we will go through it all over again, but we are trying to think on the positive side and not getting too excited. I have read some realy positive things on the internet about this- so were keeping our fingers crossed.
I know it is unusual to hear all this from a guy, but we have feelings too and need to share them.
You have no idea how much it has helped talking about this outside of my relationship, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read my story.
To all those who have suffered a tragedy like ours- dont give up, your time will come. Some take longer than others, but there is always that chance.
Second but FirstMy first time i went through a miscarriage i didn't even know i was pregnant. I went to the walk in clinic with my boyfriend and the doctor told me congratulations you are pregnant.... I had horrible cramps and bleeding at the time.. He then recommended i go to the emergency.. I waited for 4 hours with excruciating cramps then finally they took me in just to lay me there for another 5 hours until i completely passed my baby. The second time i found out in my 3rd week that i was pregnant with my same bf baby, he is the love of my life. we were so cautious but it still ended in disaster in September 2009 i had a miscarriage, i went to the hosipital with horrible cramps and bleeding, the ER doc told me that it was just a matter of time and admitted me to a maternity ward. There i waited for 6 hours until i delivered my unborn child. I was 3 months pregnant. there was so much blood I was so devastated. I passed out because of the blood loss. After which the hospital tried to get ahold of my doctor considering this was a small hpotial and to get me a blood transfusion. It was too late my doctor had to remove the object that was making me bleed so much without anesthetic and it was extremely painful, i had a D&C with cutting without anything. After which I stop bleeding so much. The next day they sent me home with only the flower my mother gave to me. I was horribly depressed and I still am..
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