Pregnancy Loss

Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.

It is best to avoid using stimulants during pregnancy. Amphetamines and dextroamphetamines are powerful drugs and when taken during pregnancy, they can cause miscarriage, early labor or birth defects. You may want to ask other women if they have had personal experience with this.

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Pregancy after miscarriage

Sorry Lupe I forgot to answer your main question. Yes you can get pregnant right after a miscarriage with no cycle in between. My doctor told me it was possible but it did not happen for me like that.


Pregnancy after 2 miscarriages

This is in response to Lupe. I found out I was pregnant In July 2008 and miscarried that same month, I then found out I was pregnant again in March of 2009 and miscarried the same week I found out. I was devastated thinking I would never carry a baby to term. Doctors usually will not run any type of tests until you have had three miscarriages but my doctor went ahaed and ran them and could not find any reason behind my miscarriages. I could go into so much detail but I would be writing all day. I felt like I wasn't normal and I was curious all the time as to why I had two losses. I was always online googling miscarriage. Anyway the good news is I had one menstrual cycle after my second miscarriage and found out I was pregnant again which was a total surprise to both me and my husband. I believe in prayer and that's what worked for me. I got pregnant without even trying. I am 19 weeks now and all is well. The baby is doing well and I get to find out the sex of the baby in two weeks. Try to relax and everything will work out for you. I know how it feels to lose a pregnancy but hold on because a blessing is on the way. I will pray for you. Just because you had two miscarriages does not mean you will have a third. Also talk to your doctor about prometrium. I was put on that until I was 12 weeks. It's usually prescribed to women who have had one or more miscarriages. I'm not really sure if I needed it or not but my doctor said it wouldn't hurt.





my beautiful baby

I was so happy when i found out i was pregnant. It had happened the first time of us trying and was what i had always wanted. It makes you feel so happy and calm and contented. I loved being pregnant. A few weeks after finding out, i got married and life seemed perfect. We went on our honeymoon and thats where things started to go wrong. I had some pain on the right hand side and some spotting. Being in the middle of no wheer in the indian ocean we decided to come home a week early. I felt so scared and had to wait 4 days until we could get back home and checked. We went to the doctors straight away who sent me for a scan at the epu. After what seemed like ages she said the baby was fine, we saw the heartbeat and our baby looked so perfect. She said i was about 6 weeks 4 days pregnant. She also found a cyst, about 6cm big and filled with fluid which was what was causing my pain. The relief i felt was amazing, knowing my baby was going to be ok. Over the next 2 weeks i just got alot of rest and slowly started to believe everything was going to be ok. Until last saturday. I was 9 weeks 4 days pregnant. I noticed i had started to bleed again. My husband phoned my mum who phoned the doctor. I wanted to ignore it and pretend it was going to be ok, but deep down i knew something was wrong. They sent me to hospital. i saw a student doctor who said it could be anything and i would need a scan but couldnt have one until monday morning as they didnt have the staff working on the weekend. The bleeding was getting heavier and i was having mild cramps but we did as she said and went home. The bleeding continued and the pain got worse, like very bad period pain. I had started to pass small clots and bits of tissue and was convinced my baby had died. Monday morning finally came, i felt sick with nerves. We went for the scan and she said the baby was fine, bleeding is normal and basically made me feel like i had wasted her time. She showed us the baby and heartbeat and i burst into tears, so relieved. We tried to ask her questions but she walked away and a student nurse tried to comfort us. We felt silly for being there again but deep down i still knew something was wrong. I wish she had listened to me. We went home again in shock everything was fine. My husband went to work. Two hours later though the cramps got worse. They were coming every 10 mins or so but again i thought i was being silly, i had just seen the heartbeat-everything was fine, the doctor had said. By the evening i was in so much pain. My husband got home from work and i couldnt move due to the pain. It was like contractions coming every 4 minutes, even though i had never been pregnant i knew what was happening. He phoned the doctor who called an ambulance. A paramedic car arrived first, he gave me gas and air and said my blood pressure was low and i had to get to hospital. An ambulance arrived and off we went. The gas and air were not helping, i was in agaony and in despair at losing my baby. Once at hospital i was examined by lots of different people who didnt tell me anything. The pain was the worst i have ever felt. They gave me morphine and put me on a drip as my veins had all collapsed. Also from the gas and air i was breating too much oxygen and my finders and legs all locked up. They then moved me to a different hospital, again more examinations and not told anything. the night passed with us still waiting, wanting answers and in pain. I was admitted onto a ward and they said my husband had to go home. He could come back that afternoon when i would have another scan. I was terrified and didnt want him to leave but i was so exhausted we didnt argue. He had been gone 20 minutes when i felt a rush of blood. i told the nurse but she asked me to wait before i went to the loo as she was checking me in. So i sat in my blood terrified. Finally she let me up to go to the loo and thats when i felt it. Like something big but soft come out. I waddled to the toilets and there lying on the pad was the whole sac with my baby still inside. I knew exactly what i was. i wrapped it in tissue and waited outside the toilet for a nusre to come. I gave it to her and she said it was my baby. She led me back to my bed and left me there alone while she went to get the phone. I had all the other patients around me listening knowing exactly what was going on. In front of them i had to phone my husband and tell him we had lost the baby. Ive never felt so useless. Then i waited on my own again until my husband drove back to the hospital. I told them i was going home at that point. That was 5 days ago. I have to go back for a scan with all the other pregnant women in 2 days time to check that everything has come out. Im still belleding and have some pain, but nothing compared to what i had. I want to know why it happened so quickly? How can my baby be so perfect and healthy and a few hours later everything go so very wrong? Why were we not listened to or told anything? I was examined by lots of different doctors and not one sat down with us and said what was happening. Why was i left alone after i had lost my little one, i just wanted someone there to cuddle or tell me it was going to be ok. Why at the scan did she not pick up something was wrong? I told her i had heavy bleeding and pain but noone checked. the blood must have been coming from somewhere and was a sign something was wrong, why did she not see it or listen to me?
I just feel so helpless and upset. Why does this horrible thing happen? Why do we have to wait until we have been through it 3 times before they will even start testing? If there is anything i can do to increase my chances of a successful pregnancy next time then i will do it. We wanted this baby so, so much. Life just seems so empty now. To my darling baby, we love you so, so much and i will always have a special place in my heart that just belongs to you. I will never forget you, mummy xxx


A Moment that Changed Time

She walked into the doctor’s office with concern flooding her eyes. She didn’t know what to expect and thought for a second she would hear the same information her doctors have been telling her for years, “well there doesn’t seem to be a problem, let’s run some more tests”. She sat in the waiting room just long enough to read the most updated information on the new vaccination for cervical cancer, recommended for young girls and she thought to herself, “Good Lord, why do we have to protect them when they’re so young?” Then she looked at herself and realized that she sounded like her own mother but was still in her body of 24 years and laughed to herself.
“Megan” I heard my name called by Janet, the doctor’s nurse. Janet has a very upbeat and spunky personality, cute at first although in the moment seemed to make me cringe. I got up and walked through the door at which point she weighed me as she did each time I came for a visit and as she did I followed through with my almost religious plan of action and looked away smiling. For the last few years I hadn’t looked at the weight, it didn’t matter like it did in high school. I had become comfortable with my body and my mind was occupied by more important things. I walked into the typical exam room popped up on the table and was prepared to divulge my concerns.

As I did this anyone within ear shot could hear the distinct tap, tap, tap of the keyboard of Janet’s computer as she asked me question after question about my symptoms, how I was feeling and of course how my boyfriend was doing. She was never too concerned with work, but she always wanted to know about my love life. I told her everything that I had experienced from the last couple weeks and what symptoms I had noticed however I was more tight lipped about my boyfriend, to which he gradually became more like a girlfriend wanting to know the details of our first date than my nurse. Pretty funny if you ask me. I peed in a cup, she took it for tests and within moments she knocked on the exam room door and popped her head in. This time it wasn’t just Janet, my doctor was with her. Doctor Kay took my hand, helped me sit up and said, “YOU’RE PREGNANT!”

Tears welled up in my eyes and it seemed like I couldn’t catch my breath. I was pregnant! But I was bleeding and I had pain all over and I just didn’t feel right. This wasn’t good, but I was pregnant. I didn’t think I’d ever really hear those words come out of anyone’s mouth in regards to me, but then again why the hell not, my doctors didn’t seem to know anything about my body anyway. Right away Dr. Kay presented me with several packets of information, appointment cards and phone numbers. She set up my first ultra sound for four hours later downtown. Then she stopped to ask me if I was okay. I’m sure I looked like I had just seen a ghost, but I was okay… right?

Janet helped me call my boyfriend. I was shaking, I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t really even know what to do. I knew that I was happy. I wasn’t scared to have a baby- okay maybe a little bit but Jesse and I had talked about it, we looked forward to it, we could handle it together. I called him and of course the last thing I wanted to tell him was that I was pregnant while we were on the phone, but that’s how he found out. Right away he asked if I was okay. I asked him to come to the doctors off ice… he was on his way. I waited for what seemed like forever but really was about ten minutes. I heard Janet down the hallway, “You must be Jesse…” and her voice faded then there was a quiet tapping on my door and in walked Jesse. He wrapped his arms around me and just held me. I cried for a moment and then we walked out the door. We had a few hours to kill before my appointment at the hospital. He and I both worked to find replacements for our shifts that night… which seemed more trouble than it should have been.
* * *
He walked with me through the hospital to the elevator where there was an older couple. They went back and forth as we rode up to the fourth floor and when they got off Jesse and I looked at each other laughing and smiling. “You can tell they just love to make each other miserable” Jesse said. I laughed and I said, “that’s what 50 years of love looks like”. We walked into the next doctor’s office together and I went up to the service desk to check in. I couldn’t seem to sit still, my legs bouncing and of course no magazine would suffice. Nothing seemed to calm my nerves. I was going to have my first ultra sound! I was scared what I might see… or worse, what I wouldn’t see.

We got up to go look out the balcony window and watch the people below as we attempted to assess their personalities by their dress, their demeanor and their interactions with others. We got to the window and a nurse popped her head out of the door and called my name. He nudged me a little to take my first step. I walked in, was weighed again and brought back to a dark little room with sonogram machines and monitors everywhere. She asked me a couple questions, pointed to a chair for Jesse and instructed me to go into the bathroom and strip down. When I came back out, I climbed onto the exam table and ‘assumed the position’. I laid down and tried relaxing but I was scared shitless. Jesse just sat back and tried not to say a word. Neither one of us was truly ready for what was soon to come… I sure wasn’t. She grabbed a wand that looked like a giant silver penis, lubed it up and shoved it inside of me. When I say shoved I do not mean she gently began sliding this tool into me, she shoved the damn thing up there and then said “this will be uncomfortable”. I looked at Jesse thinking that he might be able to calm me down with his eyes but he was caught in the middle of experiencing a sexual fantasy of seeing another woman penetrate his girlfriend with a giant dildo- just not in the sexy scenery he probably had hoped for initially.

We saw nothing. I headed back downstairs for blood tests and was told to come back in 48 hours. We got back to my car and I just sat. My body hurt, my head was racing and I didn’t know what to think. I laid my head back and closed my eyes trying my hardest not to cry. Jesse held my hand and then cupped my face. He held me and just looked at me and told me it would all be okay. I knew it would be, I knew we would be. We went to a movie to try and relax as well as to avoid anyone we might run into from work on our way back to the apartment. He laid with me the rest of the night, but was sure to ask if I needed some “me time”. I didn’t, I didn’t want to be alone- I couldn’t. He was the only person keeping me sane. Without him my mind could have wandered to far off places with horrible happenings and false assumptions.

The next three weeks went by and every 2-4 days I would go in for blood tests. My HCg levels weren’t rising the way they were supposed to, but they were going up. Things didn’t seem to make sense to me and doctors apparently couldn’t find the words to explain them. I saw a variety of doctors throughout these three weeks. All recommending something new to help the pregnancy along, to figure out what was happening and to find some type of answer- because nothing was happening on ultra sound.

I went in for a procedure one morning that was to take no more than ten minutes. Jesse couldn’t come with me so I asked my mom. I went back in the examination room, the doctor explained everything and nurse came in to stand by my side. They placed a vacuum inside of me- right against my uterine wall and sucked. They sucked until I squeezed my legs together and screamed out in pain. I couldn’t take it. It was horrible. My insides felt like they were ripping to pieces and I could no longer breathe. I went numb… I couldn’t feel a thing. My legs were gone, my hips were gone all that was left was this gut-wrenching feeling inside that wouldn’t go away. The nurse gave me ibuprophin for the pain and any swelling that might occur and off I went. I tried my hardest to conceal the pain but the second I got in the car I broke down into tears and wanted to scream again. I couldn’t take it. I called Jesse- he said he would be home as soon as he could. He held me that night and the night after and the night after and…

I took chemotherapy one time, it was meant to dissolve any placental tissue still inside of me. It didn’t seem to work either. I thought to myself, ‘you have got to be kidding. I’m taking chemotherapy and it’s not working. What the hell is going on here’.

It was the end of July. A Wednesday I think. I woke up with this pain in my lower abdomen… right side. It was terrifying. I had not felt pain like that before. I tried moving around- it hurt. I tried staying still- it hurt. I walked- okay I paced outside my apartment until my mom could come pick me up. I left a message for Jesse to call me when he got a chance because I was going to the hospital.
* * *
There I was sitting in another exam room, this time with my mother beside me. The doctor asked what had happened, I told him. I told him about the last three weeks. He admitted me into the hospital. I was wheeled down from the doctor’s office because I wasn’t allowed to walk. They asked my name, insurance company and emergency contacts. I was wheeled to my own room, poked with a few needles and given an IV since I hadn’t eaten. I was off to surgery… I WAS OFF TO SURGERY! I was freezing and the only thing covering me was a paper thin bed sheet with holes cut out for the arms. They covered me with heated blankets and the guys that pushed my bed to the anesthesiologist kept asking me random questions and thought it was hilarious and cool of me to ask questions back. The morphine drip might have had something to do with my social nature during a time of bodily shock.

Some time later after I remember commenting on how an operating room looks ‘just like they do on t.v.’ I was laying in my personal hospital room, my parents walked in and my mom was on the verge of tears. I was in a considerable amount of pain and all I wanted to do was sit up… yea right. I made my mom call Jesse and give him the information about where I was and that he could come any time. He called me back and asked if I needed him to bring anything. I told him I just wanted him to bring him… and to hurry. I was getting sleepy and had to pee but couldn’t get up so I had to use a bed pan. Seriously? It was the most awkward feeling in the world, but I got it done! Woo hoo for me!

I was drifting off to sleep when my dad said, “Here he is…” and Jesse walked in the door. He had his hat on backward which made my dad chuckle a bit, they shook hands and that was that. I needed him there and he was. My parents left shortly after and Jesse came to my bedside, sat with me and rubbed my head. I cried a little but the morphine came in handy. The nurse offered to get him blankets to stay the night, but I looked at her and said “No, he’ll sleep at home” at which point I saw a hint of relief and a hint of something else. I knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep at the hospital so I didn’t ask him to- but we all knew I wanted him to. I didn’t want to be alone… not now, but he had an early day and I’d be passed out in no time.

He left only after I had assured him that I would be fine. Within seconds I called him and I wanted to ask him to come back up but I didn’t. I cried because I felt alone but I put my big girl pants on and sucked it up. I knew he’d come back if I asked him to but it would only be delaying the inevitable of him having to go home and being miserable the next day.

I had an ectopic pregnancy, where the egg was being fertilized and starting to attach in my fallopian tube. These don’t last long and can be fatal if not taken care of immediately. The doctors said I probably miscarried but somehow placental tissue kept growing, keeping my pregnancy existent on test results. We lost a baby. We found new ways to show we loved each other and show each other affection. It’s amazing what a single touch can do. A hug. And a kiss. I couldn’t have made it through without him. I still think about it sometimes and when everyone says that everything happens for a reason I think about him and I. We’re not together anymore, just broke up recently in fact. I count my blessings- my family, my friends, and Jesse. He helped me through a traumatic experience in my life, that affected both of us in ways we might not be able to put into words. And for that I am greatful. No one else could have loved me like he did.

Megan Wych

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