Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
My most Sadness
Hello, I don't know how to describe my so large and long sadness, we was waiting him for 7 beautiful months and suddenly his little heart stopped. No reasons even medical ones are clear at this moment, everything was going well, and with no reason my so beautiful and charm baby had dead, this happened one month ago, nothing makes me feel better, but I am carrying on daily with the help of my husband that is experiencing the same as me with no light shinning for us. I beg our Lord a little of consideration even no explanation to understand.
the worst day of my lifeYesterday was the worst day of our lives.... I was ready to listen my baby¨s heart, when the doctor told me the fatal notice... today they make me a small surgery, and I´m trying to find somethingo or someone that can help us, because we feel terrible... the most important is that we are toghether, finally It was our little baby. ( 11 pregnancy weeks)
BleedingAfter trying to conceive for over a year we were delighted to discover I was pregnant in February. We wanted to keep it quiet until 12 weeks...I had a strange feeling something might go wrong. After a relaxing weekend break I noticed some dark thick discharge, read online that this was quite normal so didn't think much of it. Later that day i had a spot of bright red blood, so called my GP who arranged an early pregnancy scan for the next day. I had no other bleeding so felt reasured that my baby might be alright and went along for the scan. I was 6wks and 5days but baby was to small to see if ok so they told me to return in 2 weeks for an answer. After returning home i didn't know what to think...was my baby gone? I tried to stay positive and get on with running after my 3 year old but with a huge cloud hovering over me. 4 days after the scan i started to have the dark discharge again, it stayed the same for a few days then turned to period like bleeding. I had a few clots over the week and a few days of heavier bleeding which i thought was my womb clearing out...but i was wrong. Around 14 days after the first spot of blood my body cleared out, felt a little like labour pains and there was alot of blood loss that night. I felt awful, like i lost someone. I was in a daze for a few days, taking my boy to parks and trying to avoid people i knew...i wanted to hide away. It's only been about 7 days but already i'm feeling more upbeat and involved in daily life again. I never really thought about miscarriage during my first pregnancy, everything went perfectly. I feel for everyone who has gone through this and thank everyone who wrote about their story as they all helped me...I hope i can help someone too.
losing my babyI recently lost my pregnancy at 10 weeks. I had found out that iwas pregnant very early on. We did not tell many people as we wanted to keep this news quiet until after our scan. At the same time my friend found out she was pregnant but felt she wasn't ready to have children I offered my support in what she decided and encouraged her that it would be great our babies growing up together.
I started to bleed at 10 weeks only slightly but i knew something wasn't quite right. I phoned my out of hours surgery on a sunday and was reassured by the GP that this was normal. I begged them to send me for a scan but was told unless I was in a pool of blood that because it was a weekend, they would not scan me.
So after being told that this was normal i just carried on the evening as normal but I could not shake that feeling that I needed a scan to be 100% sure..
The following morning I went straight to the GP who then reffered me for a scan..
Me and my partner were excited if anything waiting to see our baby thinking everything would be ok. Lay on the bed being scanned which seemed to take forever the sonographer turned and said she couldn't find a heartbeat to which we were devestated.
I was asked what option I wanted to take but I asked what are the options I have never been through this before.
I've decided to opt for a D&C as I thought this was maybe the safer option.
When I got home the pregnant friend after knowing our loss decided to tell me she was aborting her baby. A HEALTHY BABY!!!!!
It makes me think why did this happen to us and not them. We were so deperate for aour baby to live and she was killing hers.
Our little boy "Jett"We felt very lucky to be pregnant just four and a half years after having our daughter that we almost lost, but a cerclage and bedrest saved the pregnancy. Maybe this would be the son my husband and I hoped for.
Everything about this pregnancy felt great. The genetic tests came back great, the ultrasounds looked great and I felt pretty good especially being 43 and expecting my seventh child (I have five living children - lost a son back in '86 to Bacterial Meningitis). Even my cervix was looking great and the doctor said he didn't think we'd need to do a cerclage this time. I was in great shape, exercising, eating very healthy and getting my rest as well as plenty of fluids.
It was a few days before my 18th week when I felt light cramping and back pain. It subsided and so I figured it was just some of the discomforts of pregnancy. The next day it started again, but this time with blood tinged mucous. I called my OB and she suggested we immediately go to labor and delivery at the hospital.
About an hour later we arrived at the hospital. They checked me in, took my vitals and went to strap on the belt to monitor the baby's heartbeat and any contractions I may have been having. The nurse couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. I thought - she's just not looking in the right place. They brought in ultrasound and as soon as the doctor scanned me - my husband and I looked at each other. The baby wasn't moving - there was no heartbeat. I said out loud "there's no heart beat - the baby is not alive" and the doctor gasped and said, " I'm so so sorry, this is the last thing on earth we would have ever suspected. We thought you'd come in here and we'd figure something out - not this, I'm so sorry for your loss." She told us it looked as if the baby had been deceased for several days.
We had to make a decision - go home and deal with or as the doctor offered, stay at the hospital and get induced. We decided it would be best to have the pill inserted onto my cervix (which softens the cervix and makes the uterus contract). The doctor came in and placed the pill and now it was a waiting game. She offered any pain meds I wanted and said she'd be back in 4-6 hours to place another pill until I delivered.
I was already in early labor and although my first reaction was to get drugged up so I didn't have to deal with what was going on - I cleared my head and realized - this is life. I needed a clear mind to deal with what was going on and I needed to relax my body and breathe so this would happen quickly and not drag on for hours or all night. I decided on no drugs - to do it naturally. My husband sat by my side and was so devastated, as I was. He was also very supportive of me.
As my contractions became stronger and stronger I decided it was time to go to the bathroom. I wanted to stay there, as I knew I wanted no nurses or doctors present for the birth. I had six previous natural births and I knew I wanted to be only with my husband for this. In respect for my husband I asked him to walk away when the moment of birth came. After a strong contraction I felt the urge to push and then I caught my baby. My husband first told me it was o.k. and that he could handle it - then he called for the doctor.
The doctors and nurses came running in the room and helped me back into bed as I held my stillborn son in my gown. He was so tiny and lifeless. I still had to look at him, inspect him and see for sure what sex he was and see if there was any obvious signs of defects or explanation as to why he died. My husband was right by my side and he looked at our little boy and told me it was o.k. As I had suspected the whole time - it was a boy.
I delivered the afterbirth and shortly after the doctors and nurses gave us time to be alone so we could grieve. We held each other tightly and cried. Tears streamed down my husband's face which made me cry even harder because he is not one to show much emotion. I knew deep inside he wanted this baby boy so much just as I did.
This experience was both shocking and unbelievably painful both mentally and physically.
Unlike most other couples we can no longer try to get pregnant due to my age and number of pregnancies (I had three other miscarriages, but none as traumatic or shocking as this one. The other two were early and did not require giving birth). What made this even more devastating was the finality of it, as we don't have the option to try again. I'm just too old.
Please understand that I am not discounting first trimester miscarriages. I have been through that and it is both emotionally and physically painful. This was my only experience giving birth to a stillborn baby and it was awful giving birth and going home without a baby. Also witnessing a fetus at that age is not like seeing a fully developed baby. I didn't think I could handle it and at first I didn't want to see it or deal with it, but after coming to my senses I knew it was very important to see, touch and experience this (drug free) because it was a part of my life and a child within me. Despite the age or circumstances, losing any child, unborn or living is a traumatic, gut wrenching, numbing, painful experience that one cannot make another fully understand unless they too have experienced it.
We will miss our little boy we would've named "Jett". Our hearts and souls will forever ache never having the opportunity to hold him in our arms, nurse him, listen to his cry, see his first smile and laugh his first laugh. We will never forget the day he was born and the day we had to hand him over to the doctor never to see him again.
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