Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
two words every mother fears
My name is Amanda. I am 20 years old. My husband is 25. We had been trying for a baby since the day we got married. In May 2008 we finally got our positive pregnancy test. At my first visit with the ob doctor i had an ultrasound. Perfect heartbeat. Five weeks in i started pouring blood. Devastated we rushed to the hospital. After 4 hours in the ER the doctor came in and said my baby had a heartbeat- a strong heartbeat. The next day my ob doctor assured me that everything appeared fine. Four weeks later at nine weeks i had a dark brown discharge so i went in the next day for another ultrasound. "I'm so sorry sweetie but we can't find a heartbeat." My heart felt like it could stop beating. Four days later i had a D&C. I didn't think anything could ever be worse. Finally the doctor gave me the ok to start trying again. August 26,2008 i tested positive again. I had my first ultrasound at ten weeks. My babies heartbeat was wonderful. I feared another miscarriage throughout the entire first trimester. Finally i had made it through the first trimester and i started getting more confidence that it was going to be ok this time. On December 15, 2008 i found out my baby was a girl. My husband and i couldn't wait to start buying for her. Neither could anyone else. On christmas we received several gifts for her. She had began to kick occasionally but not all the time so when i went two days without feeling her i assumed it was normal. On January 12, 2009 i went in for a regular prenatal appointment and for my second trimester ultrasound. Here i am laying on the table waiting to see my baby when the technician asks me if i had been having any problems. I immediately panicked when she said she needed to get the doctor. The doctor came in and once again i heard those devastating words. My precious baby girl was gone. The next morning i was induced and at 2:53 pm i gave birth to Caylee Addison my 6.7 ounce, 9 inche baby girl. On January 16, 2009 we buried her. Today is February 14, 2009 and it still hurts just as bad as it did jan 13. Every baby i see is a reminder of what im not going to have. I cant stand pregnant women which is rough because my best friend is four months pregnant. Everyday i try to replay my pregnancy and figure out what i done wrong. Everyone says i shouldn't blame myself but i cant stop the thoughts. Some people have said some of the most hurtful things to me such as "your still young, you will be a mother one day." Maybe so but another baby won't replace Caylee and i feel that i am already a mother. Maybe she wasn't born alive but she was alive in me. I've also been told i need to "get over it." You never get over it, you learn to live. To all those mothers out there who are fighting this battle please remember you are not alone and i may not know you but i share your pain!
Ill love you forever!I lost 4 due to miscarriage. I have 2 living wonderful teens! When you loose someone so special as an unborn child you are never the same! I will always love these children and have named each one. I know God has them in the most special place in Heaven! When I first miscarried I could not believe how painful it was to my heart especially! I felt so betrayed and lost. I always felt I was this great Mom... til I couldn't save my beloved unborn. I was very angry, sad, and horrified. I went home and miscarried after missed miscarriage. I wanted noone to touch my child! I was no going to discard my child as medical waste! I welcomed the pain as a way of saying, " If my child had to suffer death I wanted to suffer too!" I felt like my babies had more then a right to live! But, now they are angels in heaven and I guess this is an honor too. I have no choice...but to accept they are gone...but love is forever and nothing can stop that! Mommie is so so sorry.....:( I would have given my life for you! May God give you all the best love he has...for all our little babies lost in the womb! Love, Mommie xo
Our beautiful baby girl Balin SeraphinaWe found out December 23rd, 2008 that after 11 long months of TTC we were finally pregnant for the third time. It would have been our second baby, we lost our first little angel Arabella Marie at 6 weeks 4 days in December of '05. It took us 18 months to concieve our second baby girl, Charisma Tootsie, who was born happy and healthy on December 15th, 2007. DH and I started to try as soon as I felt better. Everyone said how easy it would be to concieve right after birth. Well, it was not the case for us. We have tried everything and waited. The journey started to wear us off, and after a very long time we found ourselves pregnant. It was the best Christmas present a family can ask for. We were beyond extatic. My pregnany was progressing like it was supposed to; I was feeling every symptom in the book but the morning sickness. I was slightly nauseated but nothing else.
On January 10th, 2009 we went for our first u/s and saw the babe. She was just so tiny but had a very strong heartbeat. Three weeks later she was gone.
It all started with slight cramping on Monday, February 2nd, 2009. That night I started spotting. DH drove me to the ER and after five hours of wait they still haven't admitted me, so we decided to leave and see my family doctor in the morning( it was couple of hours really).
My doctor is the best I have seen so far. He scheduled an emergency ultrasound right away and off we went.
Needless to say, the u/s was just to ensure that I was passing everything on my own as I was bleeding and cramping severely at that point. The tech was nice enough, so was the radiologist that "broke" the news to me that there is nothing there any more.
I knew that, I knew the exact moment we lost our little girl.
So, here we are. One Earth-bound baby, and two angels in heaven.
Hoping that the next time we get pregnant he or she will decide to stay with us.
I wish everyone who has experienced a loss a happy and healthy pregnancy because we deserve it!!!!
3 miscarriages in 1 yearMy names Amanda and im 20 years old. I've had 3 miscarriages w. my recent 1 being a week ago...The first miscarriage I was 6 weeks pregnant..well supposed to be 8, but the fetus only measured 6 weeks so me & my dr thought maybe its just "bad luck" so 4 months later I got pregnant for the 2nd time and of course I was super paranoid and avoided everything that you basically should and gave up everything I did last time that I thought mightve caused a miscarriage I was also put on prometrium 200mg for my progesterone bcus it was low my last period and the night before I had my ultrasound I was in the ER miscarrying again...I was devistated and my dr thought it could've been bcus my levels weren't really that high again with my progesterone...Dec 28,2008 I found out I was pregnant for a 3rd time and now I was SO nervous, but my Dr acted quickly with the bloodwork & ultrasound(I didn't see him til 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant, but I acted quickly and took my prenatals and progesterone) so my levels came back excellent and I had an ultrasound scheduled bcus I didn't feel pregnant, but I saw my 6week,3day fetus' heartbeating! I was SO happy and felt relieved bcus I was finally having a baby! And I got ultrasound pictures and everything! But my dr was concerned bcus w/ my last period I should've been 8w,5d but my periods are never on track so we just figured I ovulated late and everything would be fine...of course Jan 29,2009 I was sitting in the ER miscarrying and passed 3 tissue clots...all I could do was cry and ask God "why me??" I know id be an excellent mother and I know God has a plan for everyone. I have 3 angels in heaven! It seems to be when you talk to some people about how you're feeling that have never been pregnant they don't understand that bond and connection you can have with something so tiny inside of you. It was the best feeling to know I was carrying basically a piece of me everywhere, but now that I've lost 3 babies I am going to have a bunch of tests done and then see a fertility dr! I hope everyone that has been through a miscarriage has the chance to have a healthy and successful pregnancy!
Our Angel Taylor JamesI am a healthy 28 year old woman who doesn't smoke, does not drink or do drugs, and exercises regularly. I was on cloud nine, pregnant with my first child. I had a healthy pregnancy with absolutely no problems. Then, I went for my regular 32 week appointment. The nurse could not find the baby's heartbeat with the doppler, so the doctor tried and she couldn't hear one either. The doctor then had an ultrasound performed. Thus, confirming every motherís worst nightmare, my baby had passed away. The doctor helped me call my husband who was at work and he met me at the hospital in disbelief. We couldn't believe but our perfect pregnancy and world had been turned upside down. I was induced that day and gave birth vaginally the next afternoon (1/27/09) to a beautiful baby boy, 5lbs, 18 inches long, who we named Taylor James. Our time with Taylor was too short and the experience still does not seem real. A few days later we buried our son Taylor at a small little family service. My husband and I have been each others supports system and he has been amazing. Our family and friends have offered so much love and support too. The majority of the time I am so strong but, it still hits me like a ton of bricks and mostly when I'm by myself. We are waiting for test results to determine the cause of Taylor's death. The doctor had found traces of fetal blood in with my blood, leading her to think there could have been a malfunction with the placenta. She seemed to think this could have sent Taylor into cardiac arrest. There may be a chance we won't find out what happened. However, I am hoping we are able to find out something at my next appointment.
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