Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
miscarriage abd being pregnant
hi i had are miscarriage on 24 nov 2008 i stayed bleeding for 7 days then after that i never got my period then i did are blood test on the 23 dec 2008 and the doctor said that im pregnant and that im 5 weeks and 2 weeks later i went to are another doctor and he did me another blood test and then he said im 1 week pregnant i what to know if anyone can help me.
LossMy boyfriend and I had been trying to get pregnant for quite a while..when it finally happened, I was shocked. I had pretty much resigned to the fact that it wasnt going to happen. We went to the Dr.s for our first ultrasound. The tech said that she couldnt see the heartbeat..and that the sac was suggestive of a 5 or 6 week old fetus..but I should have been at least 10 weeks. The next few weeks were the worst time in my life. Not knowing was absolute torture. Then, one morning I was standing at the sink getting ready to do dishes and I began to bleed..bright red. They had taken hcg levels and were waiting to see if they had doubled or gone down..they in fact had gone down and was told by my the doctor that there was no way the baby was going to be okay...it had stopped growing. My options were to go home and take pills to expel the baby or go to the hospital for a D & C...I made the decision to stay at home. From beginning to end it was horrible. It wasnt just the labor pains that had me losing my mind..it was the thought that it was going to be over and there wasnt a damn thing I could do about it. When it finally came out, I thought I was going to die...there was our baby..dead..and lying in my underwear.
I have tried everything I can think of to "get over it". I think about it EVERY day. I cry about it EVERY day. I want to deal with it and move on..I just dont know how. It affects me every day.I feel like no one understands. Im afraid to bring it up with my boyfriend all the time.. If he ever said anything to make me feel worse about it, I dont think I could ever forgive him..so I dont usually say anything...but it is eating me up inside. I try to be rational and think that this has happened to many, many women and they get on with their lives, so I should be able to as well.
TO ALL PARENTS OF HEARTFELT ANGELSI SIT HERE AND READ ALOT OF THIS STORIES AND SOME HELP AND SOME JUST MAKE ME MORE SAD TO THINK IF IT HAPPENED TO THEM WHY CAN'T IT HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN. ONE YEAR AGO ON 12-27-07 TO BE EXACT I LOST MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY DUE TO SEVERE PRECLAMSIA THAT DITACHED MY PLACENTA AND I ALMOST BLED TO DEATH.MY DOCTOR WAS ABLE TO SAVE MY LIFE AND MY UTERUS SO I CAN TRY AGAIN LATER IF I DECIDE TOO.TO MAKE THIS ALIITTLE SHORTER IT IS STILL THE HARDEST FEELINGS IN THE WORLD I'M LIKE A ROLLER COASTER STILL SOMETIMES DEPRESSION GETS TO ME AND I JUST CRY IT OUT AND OTHER DAYS I JUST THINK ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY.I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG WE'RE GOING TO FEEL THIS HURT INSIDE THAT NOONE UNDERSTANDS ONLY US THAT HAVE GONE THROUGH THE SAME THING.I HAVE GONE THRU EVERY EMOTION MENTIONED HERE AND PEOPLE HAVE SAID ALL THOSE PHRASES THAT QUITE FRANKLY I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOU NAME IT I'VE HEARD IT GOOD AND BAD. ANYWAYS,MY MAIN REASON HERE TODAY IS TO ASK THE PARENTS THAT HAVE THEIR BABIES BURIED TO PLEASE DON'T FORGET ABOUT THEM .PLEASE DO NOT ABANDEN YOUR CHILD THERE WITH NOT EVEN ONE FLOWER AND SOME YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THEIR NAME ANYMORE.YOU KNOW THERE IS ABABY BURIED THERE BUT THEY ARE LOST THE ONLY THING THERE IS TALL GRASS.I'M AT LEAST 2 OR 3 TIMES AT THE CEMETARY SOMETIMES MORE.THE CEMETARY PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW ME.I MADE MY BABY A SHAPE BASSANET CHAPEL WHERE WE PUT TOYS AND CERAMIC ANGELS AND ALOT OF STUFF.I ALWAYS DECORATE IT FOR HIM WITH LOTS OF FLOWERS AND STUFFED ANIMALS BUT I NEVER FORGET OF THE FORGOTTEN BABIES I ASKED THE MAN FROM THE CEMETARY FOR PERMISSION TO TAKE ALL THE BABIES FLOWERS AND TOYS EVERY TIME I CAN. SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S HARDER FOR THEM TO GO OFTEN BUT FOR ME IT'S TORCHER BY THE THIRD DAY IF I DON'T GO. I BELIEVE EVERYBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO FEEL WHAT THEY WANT BUT PLEASE THEY ARE OUR BABIES AND THEY LEFT AFOOT PRINT BEHIND THAT MEANS THEY WERE HERE AND 4 ALWAYS IN OUR HEART AND SOUL TO TAKE.I HOPE YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND IT'S JUST SO SAD TO SEE SO MANY ABANDENT BABIES BURIED.WELL TO ALL PARENTS THAT HAVE HAD A MISCARRIAGE AND ESPECIALLY STILLBORN BABIES AND NOT TO MENTION THE SIDS BABIES I'M SO SO DEEPLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSSES!! RECOMEND THE SONG IN U TUBE CALLED (GLORY BABY) AND A BEATIFUL SITE CALLED (HEARTFELT ANGELS :STITCHES OF LOVE FOR BABIES) THANK YOU N IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY SWEET ANGEL ROMAN MTZ. 12-27-07 (BELL)
One week ago tonightI just had a miscarriage a week ago. I was 12 weeks pregnant almost to the day, and visiting a friend on the West Coast (I live on the East Coast) so I was very, very far from home. I have no health insurance, and had been trying to cope with the unexpected, unplanned pregnancy as best I coud in a short amount of time. I waited almost the entire 12 weeks to even tell my family I was pregnant, only to call them a week later to tell them I was miscarrying. I had to go through a spontaneous miscarriage almost alone in a hospital, which was painful and so so sad. I had to tell the father over the phone that his baby had died. Our little boy, our little futbolista. I am home now, and feeling alot better which is a blessing, I did not know I could feel so empty and sad. I am scared that this will happen again if I become preganant again, and I don't know how to ever feel normal again.
Losing ChloeMy husband and I decided to start trying to get pregnant on our second anniversary. It seemed like the perfect time; we had jobs we loved, bought a house.. it seemed like the next logical step. We tried for one week shy of a year before getting pregnant. During that year I took about a million pregnancy tests.. just waiting for 2 lines to show up.. finally i got my wish. We were so excited to finally start a family. My doctor did an ultrasound at every appointment and we loved seeing the babys growth each month. At 4 months, we found out we were having a girl. Yes! I just knew it, I knew I couldnt make a boy.. my husband was a bit disappointed but knew that she would be daddys little girl. I went to bed on a Thursday night in December and woke up at about 4 am because fluid was pouring out of me. It wasnt a lot, but I thought it was strange. I called my doctor first thing friday morning. I told the nurse what happened and she said that I probably had a bladder infection. The doctor called in a script for antibiotics and I started taking them friday. I felt ok but stayed home from work just to take it easy. By Sunday, I had a low fever, 100.9. I took 2 Tylenol and went to bed. When I woke up Monday, my fever was gone.. Iwent to work. Around 2 pm I started having cramps. I called my doctor and the nurse told me to time them. They were 4 minutes apart. I was told that if they continued for 30 minutes to go to the OB Triage. I went to the bathroom when I got off the phone and there was blood..bright red blood. I asked a coworker to drive me to the hospital. My husband met me there. The drive over I kept thinking "everythings fine.. this must just be one of those pregnancy things". They strapped me to a monitor and I heard my baby girl heartbeat. A wave of relief came over my husband and I... she was alive and everything was going to be ok. Then we heard the worst news possible. The leaking fluid was my water breaking. Without fluid around her, Chloe would not continue to develop. Her lungs were to week to function on their own and before 24 weeks doctors cannot intervene. I would have to deliver her and she was not going to live. Grief took over and I could not think clearly. I asked them for every drug possible to help numb the physically and emotional pain. I told the doctor and my husband that I did not want to see her. I was terrified of what I'd see. Chloe was born at 4am. She was stillborn. My husband wanted to see her. Acouple hours after she was born, and they had prepared her, Jeremy went to see her. When he came back downstairs, I heard him balling outside the door.
The doctors kept me in the hospital for another night because I had a high fever of 103 when I delivered the baby. The day after giving birth, a grief counselor came to see us. She was very nice and shared her knowledge with us and gave ussome books to read to help us cope. Jeremy went to see Chloe again. He came back and asked me if I was sure I didnt want to see her. He said that I would only have a small amount of time to make the decision and said he was worried I'd regret not taking the chance to see and hold her. I told him I'd think about it. We slept at the hospital again and when we woke up I told my husband that I was afraid of what I'd see, that I didnt want the memory of the baby to be something morbid.. I want to think of her as my beautiful little girl. My husband said "She is beautiful". I decided to see her. They brought her in in a little basket wrapped in a pink blanket with a little hat on. Chloe Elise weighed just under a pound and was 11" long. My husand was right.. she was perfect. I could already see how much she looked like Jeremy. Her hands and feet were amazing.. little fingers and finger nails. I dont know why I was so afraid. Something about seeing her made me feel so much better. Holding her in my arms, saying hello and goodbye....letting her know that mommy and daddy love her.... it gave us a bit of closure. It's been 4 weeks today since I went into the hospital and I've found that the grief comes in waves and it will hit me without notice anytime. We are doing our best to get back to normal life but I know that we will never fully recover. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. I am so lucky to have such a great partner. I dont know what I would do without his love and support or without the love and support of my family. The only thing that keeps us going is the possibility of getting pregnant again. I have this vacant space that needs to be filled. Since the doctors can not determine a reason for the loss we will just have to hope that this doesnt happen again. Lightening cant strike twice right? This can happen to anyone at anytime and unfortunately it happened to us.
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