Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
This is emotional for me,as it is for anyone that has experienced this. I had emergency surgery to remove an 8 week ectopic pregnancy. I was excited to find out the first month of trying we conceived. I felt something was wrong, it started with the spotting 3 days after the confirmation. I turned 31 the day after it was determined something was wrong. I went through weeks of blood tests, a dnc, special shots, a roller coaster ride of emotions. I told 2 nurses that had become my close friends I seen them as much as I seen my own image in the mirror- I was not blaming anyone or anything. I had a friend tell me after her miscarriage she refused to become pregnant it was too difficult. All I have thought from day one was I am going to move on. I cry, smile, anger crawls across my skin, I want to scream, throw things, sometimes I don't know what to feel or how to express all the emotions I feel all at once.Every woman moves on differently at different paces. I plan to hold my self together with as few fall aparts as possible.I hope to move forward heal up physically and as much as possible emotionally and try to get pregnant again. I lost my right tube but everything looks good, and so in the spring I want to try to conceive again. I just can't see myself not trying again, at least one more time. I pray for the strength to move on, I thank GOD I have all I do including my children. I am blessed. For all of you I pray the best. Everyone's story is different this was both helpful and confusing during my roller coaster ride. It was more acceptable before I found out the suspected cause of my tubal now i know it was "something that could have been prevented" at no fault of mine. Regardless I will still carry these emotions and do research and try to do the next one right. I have friends who did well during pregnancy, several that almost died and almost lost their babies, those that cant get pregnant, and those that did not give birth but raised their spouses children as their own and those that have lost out on adoption. I could write so many stories, but this is the one I am living, even though I have children I still want to try again. I hope I don't sound selfish. Maybe thats another emotion I'm feeling guilt for having children yet wanting to have more. I feel I could write forever but it would probably be alot of repeats. GOD help us all.
Missed miscarriage at 10w 4dI am still in shock and emotional pain after my missed abortion one week ago. After some fertility treatments in the last two years we got pregnant on our 3rd IUI in September 2008. I will be 37 in 2 days and DH is 38. This was my first pregnancy. We were over the moon when we discovered I was pregnant. Everything went well, all u/s were promising. We saw the heartbeat at 9 weeks. Afterwards, that whole week I had some bad feeling that something might be wrong with my baby as all my pregnancy symptoms went away. I scheduled an urgent appointment with my gyn and was shocked when he told me the baby died just after my last u/s at 9 weeks. We scheduled D&C for the next morning. Now, after a week I physically feel ok but emotionally I am a wreck. My feelings range from sadness to anger, jealousy, feeling I am getting crazy. Being 37 I have so many questions circling in my mind...Can it happen again due to my age? How long will it take to conceive again? What are the chances that my next pregnancy results in a healthy baby?
Hope all of us who had a miscarriage will feel the joy of holding our babies soon
Sad from Macedonia
no baby after miscarriageThis is my story. I am 41 and lost a baby on 8/8/08. I have 3 daughters and 1 grandaughter and my husband has 1 daughter and 3 grandaughters. We have no children together and were not planning to start another family. My husband is 49. When I became pregnant everything changed. We were suddenly in awe with the thought of this child. Then at 11 weeks when we were vacationing in New Mexico, I began spotting. I knew after having 3 children this was not good. I miscarried the following day. It's been heart breaking. We are not planning any children and sometimes I wonder will I ever get over this loss.
I am new at this chat thing, but just read your story and wanted to extend my sympathy and understanding. Three weeks ago we welcomed and said goodbye to our sweet baby boy, Nicholas.
Nicholas and I had a difficult and complicated pregnancy. At 20 weeks I was rushed to the hospital with an 8 centimeter cyst which had twisted and cut off blood supply to my ovary. I had emergency surgery to remove both the cyst and the ovary. The baby seemed to be oblivious to any of that and for that we were extremely grateful.
Ten days later I went back into the hospital with a blood leak from the surgery... my blood count was very low, but all of the monitoring of the baby seemed to be fine.
After that I had quite a few more ultrasounds to monitor everything. At one of the ultrasounds my OB told me that he thought the ventricles in the baby's head were a little enlarged, but not to worry, b/c this type of thing almost always works itself out. So he scheduled me for another ultrasound (just to be safe) about 5 weeks later. After that ultrasound I met with another OB in the hospital - that is when our world turned upside down. I really expected to walk out of there totally relieved. The doctor told me that the baby's ventricles were indeed enlarged and that she was extremely worried. I went down to a specialized hospital in Toronto (Ontario, Can) and had yet another ulatrasound... and amnio. This ultrasound showed that not only were the ventricles enlarged, but that part of the baby's brain hadn't formed at all...
It was very unlikely that our baby would survive, and if he did he would be severely handicapped. We were faced the most horrendous, heartwrenching decisions of our life.
A week and a half later (at 35 weeks gestation), on November 7, 2008, I was induced and gave birth to our sweet Angel baby, Nicholas - he was born "still"...in no pain.
He was beautiful, perfect and looked so much like his brother (we have two other boys with us here). MY husband and I were able to spend precious, precious time with him after he was born.. time we will cherish and remember in our souls forever.
We are desperately trying to find comfort in the fact that he was not in any pain and that he is with other loved ones who will love him and keep him safe.
My body, heart and soul aches for him....
Just thought I would share. THank you for taking the time to read my story.
Alise MarieI have read through a lot of storys and have found a lot of women on here with the same problems and losses that I have had.
My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and have been together for 4 1/2 years. He already has a 4 1/2 yr old son and we decided we would wait to try for children till after we were married. I knew before hand that it would be very hard trying to get pregnant.
I am currently 28yrs old and in my past have had endometriosis and cysts on both of my ovarys and my left falopian tube. I had to have surgery to have them taken care of. There was no cancer found but there was a lot of scaring from the endometriosis. I was told it would take a while to get pregnant or possibly could never get pregnant.
Recently I had to have another surgery due to a deviated septum and endometriosis. Due to having to fix that there was more scaring. I was told to try to begin to try to get pregnant without the help of fertility drugs at first then about 4 mths later was given a perscription for clomid. Months later I found out I was pregnant just as I was begining to give up. I went to see my doctor and was told at that time that I was about 5-6 wks pregnant. I went through some nausea and a little cramping due to the stretching of the ligaments. For the next 4 mths I continued to see my doctor for my regular appointments. I got to listen to the baby's heartbeat and just couldn't believe that this little miracle was inside me. This is something I had wanted for a long time. Shortly after my last appointment with my doctor I had an appointment to have my first ultrasound to see what the sex of the baby would be. My mother, mother-in-law and 4 1/2 yr old step-son all came to the appointment. Everything was going great at first till they noticed the low amounts of fluid around the baby. My doctor was out of town so I had one of the doctors on his team examin me. Needless to say my husband and I didn't like what he had to say. At that time I was already 2cm dialated and had only 1% fluid in my uterus and was told that the baby's foot was in the beginning of the cervix. He then told us there is a very good possibility that I would loose the baby within the next few days. My husband and I were beside ourselves. My husband didn't want to give up and nor did I. I hadn't gone into labor yet and the baby's heartbeat was normal and strong. I ended up going home and was sent to complete bed rest till my doctor got back into town, which was in 2 days, then at that time we could decide what to do but that didn't seem to matter. I ended up getting sick the next day and got sent by ambulance to the hospital. I was in the hospital for 2 days when I got up to go to the bathroom Monday morning on Nov 10, 2008 I felt the baby slip. Now the baby's leg was in the cervix. I went to lay back down and just didn't want to say anything hoping I was just imagining all of this but feeling the baby move in my cervix was all real. I then told my mom that it was time, the baby had partially slipped into the cervix. The doctor and nurses rushed in to check me and said that the baby was coming out breach after about an hour the medicine began to work to start my contractions. I didn't have to push for long when the baby came out. The doctor handed the baby to me and announced to my husband and I that we had a baby girl. Her heart was still beating. I got to hold her for a few minutes when I then had to deliver the placenta. My husband then held her and we had her baptised. Our little girl was alive for 1 hour after her birth. My husband held her till her final minute of life. After all of that I still had to go in for a D&C. I was able to deliver most of the placenta but there were parts still attached. After the D&C I slept for a while. Once I woke up they brought my husband into see me. He asked what I wanted to name her and I said I wanted to name her Alise Marie. We already had names picked out for our baby but they just went good enough for her.
I decided to take a shower after I woke up. After the shower and drying off I ended up passing out. The doctor had told me that they already had blood on stand-by and was very worried with all the blood loss I had during the pregnancy and the D&C. I was then given 2 units of blood. I still to this day get very tired.
We decided to have a small family and close friend funeral for our little girl Wednesday, Nov 13, 2008. It helped to give me some closure but not complete closure. I still cry at the drop of a hat. I know it will take a while to get use to the fact that we had lost our baby but the lost feeling will always be there.
I just had a doctors appointment and was told that I, also like a lot of women, have an incompetent cervix. He said that my exam went well but I have to see him in 6 weeks to allow my uterus to heal properly then at that time he is going to take a look to make sure everything healed properly then we will begin talking about what we now want to do. As in getting pregnant again. Even though we just went through all of this my husband and I alreadyfeel as though we don't want to wait and would like to begin trying as soon as we are allowed.
I have respect and love for my little girl and I am terribly hurt by the fact that she is not going to physically be with us but she will always be in my heart, my mind and my soul. You just can't give up on yourself and be scared it is going to happen to you again. I am scared but I will never know till I try. I hope this at least helps 1 person out there.
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