Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
misscarrage at 16
I was living with my boyfriend (who is now my exboyfriend) and times were tough, we had no money, we were jumping from house to house just to have a roof over our head and living off government paychecks which really was little to nothing, due to lack of money and immaturity we did not have birth control (didnt know there were places you could get them for free at this point) or condoms, after about 3/4 months of unprotected sex 2/3 of those months i didnt get my period, my boobs hurt all the time, i was moody, my stomache eventually started to expand lower than your stomache does normally when you put on weight, it was also tough to touch as oppose to soft like fat, my boyfriend asked one day when i had my period last and i couldnt give him an answer... And thats the moment i noticed all of the things i just mentioned, anyway i got a test and came home and took it, when i saw that it was positive i fell to the ground and cried and.cried, i didnt want my boyfriend (sam) or housmates to hear so i got in the shower and sat there and cried for a further 10minutes or so before i decided i would face the world, when i got out sam asked what it said and i just cried for what felt like hours more, so much.to think about... What would my mum say? What about tafe? What about my relationship? Will he leave and ill have to do this alone? What am i going to do? Adoption? Abortion? Become a mum? I was just a kid, i wasnt ready for this...... when i told him he said that the only logical choice was an abortion and he gave me all the obvious reasons like money and age and all that, so i agree'd and was very content with it cause it ment i didnt have to tell my mum, so we went to the doctor and got everything conformed and my little pumpkin was about 12weeks, i couldnt believe it, but i tried not to get attatched as soon life is going to go back to how it was before
One day i was out with a friend who was 6months pregnant, and we saw another pregnant friend and another friend that was pregnant , so there i was surrounded by 3 pregnant friends and i just felt at peace, i couldnt kill my baby, i wasnt ready to be a mum but i knew once my baby was born i would love him/her unconditionally. I was going to tell sam that night that i was going to keep it and deal with the consicences of my actions, the night came and i was pacing back and forth across my room, then i hard a harp pain in my stomache so i decided to lay down, sam came in to the room to ask me if i was ok, but before i answered i said i would be right back just needed to go to the toilet, i had my period, the start of my miscarrage, it was the worst moment of my life, i went back into the room and cried. Sam held me and asked why i was crying, i said i was bleeding and he said "well now its not an issue anymore" i cried more and mentioned i wanted to keep it, he was impressed, but for about a year afterwards i was verly clucky and baby crazy but sam just refused to get me pregnant again a following six months later we broke up after a two and a half year relationship.
Looking back now i do think from time to time what my life would be like with my baby if i did have him/her, but overall it worked out for the best because i wouldnt be where i am now. I have a loving partner, a stable job and house and are now preparing to start our own family in the next six months just getting those final preperations ready. Life is finally steering my right for once :)
An untimely deathWhen I first found out I was pregnant, losing my first baby was the furthest from my mind. I went through my pregnancy with great expectations and high hopes. However, I didnt know a higher power had another plan. In my 6th month, I discovered that my baby was moving less. She started out moving alot when I was 4 and 5 months. When she stopped moving I was so scared. I went to my doctor and it was confirmed that my angel went back to heaven. Now I feel so empty, hurt, angry and disapointed. It's hard to find faith during all of this. One of the main things I wanted in life was to be a mom.
Ectopic, Stillbirth... 3rd Time Lucky?It was two weeks after my birthday that I noticed I wasn't quite feeling right. I hadn't had my period in a while so my partner and I decided to try and pregnancy test. I came back positive, we were so excited. We told our parents the next day and everything was perfect. I went to the doctors to have it all confirmed by blood test and everything seemed fine. I was approx 3-4weeks. I went back a week later to have another blood test to ensure my levels were rising. Unfortunately they weren't and my doctor told me that I would start to miscarry in the next week or so. We were so disappointed. But as the week went on I didn't miscarry and I still felt pregnant. We went back to the doctors and my levels were still rising, but not as much as they were supposed to be. My doctor told me to go home and see how things went. Another 3 weeks went by and I felt fine and still hadn't miscarried. We were starting to believe that things might be okay! Then one night I woke up in excruciating pain on my right side. I didn't wake my partner up and just tried to go back to sleep. I wasn't bleeding so I just assumed this was part of being pregnant. It finally started to go away early in the morning and I managed to get an hour or so sleep before my partner woke up. I let him know what had happened and we decided, even though the pain had gone, we should still have it checked. My doctor got very worried and told me to go straight to the hospital and not to eat anything. We rushed to the hospital and I was rushed into emergency surgery. I had an Ectopic pregnancy that was ready to rupture as I was almost 9weeks along and it had started leaking blood into my stomach. I also had a cyst on my ovary that had been sitting against my pregnancy. They took my right tube and I was sent home with painkillers the next day. I was told that in the future we would have a lot of trouble getting pregnant and could take me years.
After a month and a half of recovering from the keyhole surgery I started taking my pill again and we went about life as usual. I felt so empty. Like I had been given a child and then had it taken away from me. I longed to have that happiness back.
Even though I had been taking my pill and only had one tube left, I managed to fall pregnant 2 months later. My partner and I were very scared and didn't want to get our hopes up. We went to my doctor and had my HCG levels checked and had our dating scan and everything was developing perfectly! We couldn't have been happier.
My pregnancy was perfect. I didn't get any morning sickness and never had any problems whatsoever. I was sure we were having a girl and everyone seemed to agree with me. My partner was the only one who thought we were having a boy. At 18 weeks we found out we were having a boy and my partner was thrilled! It felt strange that I had been wrong. Our families and I had been SO certain I was having a girl. I was a bit disappointed but still happy to be having a healthy baby. We had his baby shower at 33 weeks and it was all starting to feel very real. His nursery was all set up and ready for him to arrive.
At exactly 36 weeks I had my last day at work. I work at the hospital I was planning to deliver in, so I spent the day saying goodbye to everyone until I came back in to have my little boy. Everyone was so excited for me and kept telling me that I had to bring him in to meet everyone once he was born.
I drive home that afternoon with him kicking away in my belly. I had organised to have a spray tan done with a friend before we had our maternity shoot on the Sunday. As I was getting my tan done, I kept thinking to myself that I hadnt really felt him move. I didn't think much of it as I had been busy and he'd probably been moving away without me paying attention. I got home and had some dinner and noticed that he still hadn't moved. I went to the fridge and got a cold can of soft drink. I thought if anything will wake him, it would be this. After drinking half the can, I was starting to get worried. He still hadn't moved. I knew something was wrong. I called my partner, who was at a mates birthday party, and told him no to worry but I was heading to the hospital just to be monitored. I tried to convince him that everything would be fine but he insisted that he come with me.
40 minutes later we arrived at the hospital and had to sit in the waiting room for 1 hr and a half as all of the beds were occupied. After what seemed like forever, we were lead into one of the examination rooms and the midwife started to hook me up to the monitors. As she put it on my stomach to find my little boys heartbeat, all we heard was silence. She kept trying to turn the machine up but all I could think to myself was 'No matter how loud you turn it up, you're not going to find a heartbeat'.. I knew at that moment my little boy was gone.
The midwife continued to try and try. I felt like because we worked together, she felt like she had to do all she could to help me. She kept bringing in machine after machine, telling me that 'Those ones might be broken, lets try another one..'. After exhausting all her options she finally brought in the portable ultrasound machine. A few minutes later a doctor came in and we finally heard those words we were dreading. 'I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat. Your baby has died'
At that moment, our whole world came crashing down. My partner cried and cried. I was in complete shock. How could this happen? A few hours earlier he has been kicking away happily, and now he was completely still. They took us down to the medical imaging department to have a proper ultrasound. The sonographer took some 3D photo's of my little boys face and gave them to me. He looked so peaceful.
We were told to go home and "get some sleep"... Were they serious? My baby had just died and they thought my biggest problem was getting some sleep?
The next day we were told to come back to the hospital when we were ready to be induced. Ready? Would I ever be ready?
We arrived at the hospital around 11am and the induction process was started. After 38 hours of labour, I gave birth to my sleeping angel Mason on the 27th February 2012 at 1:55am weighing 6lb 3 ounces. He was absolutely perfect.
We got to spend the whole day with him and take photos before we had to say goodbye. Giving him to the midwife as we left was the single most hardest thing I have ever had to do. As we drove away from the hospital I felt like I was leaving part of myself behind.
Its been 8 weeks now since I said goodbye to my little boy. The pain will never go away but it does slowly get easier to deal with. The tests all came back clear and there never ended up being a cause for Mason's death.
My partner and I have decided that we will try for another baby once we both feel emotionally ready and once my body has had time to heal and get back to normal. We only hope that next time we can be blessed with a healthy baby. 3rd time lucky right..?
when i was youngerWhen I was 15 there was rumers going around that I was pregnat with my best friends child , then it was said that I had lost the baby . and just recently I have had a misscarrage and it has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go threw . My partner and I hadn't been on the best terms and soon after we split up. Just 2months after he had met someone else and she's pregnant now . No hard feeling between my ex and I but it still hurts .
Mommy's little AngelMy story starts in 1997. I had recently divorced my sons father because he became an abusive drug addict and I wasnt gping to raise my child around that. Anyway, in the summer of 97 my ex got out of rehab and found showed up at my job one day. Our son was 1 at the time and he didnt really know his dad so I figured we could go somewhere together over the weekend since my ex was sober and I still loved the guy. Well we had a great time together and ended up having sex. Eventhough we used protection, I got pregnant. At first I was not happy about it because my family was upset since my ex put me through hell before the divorce. When I found out that I was having a girl, I was really excited. My family took a while to come around but they too were excited. On March 22,1998 I had my baby shower and got everything I needed for her. I was going to name her Chloe. On March 26,1998 I was putting the finishing touches together in the nursery when I tripped over something and landed on "all fours" I didnt think anything was wrong until a few hours later, I had alot of pressure in my pelvic area and it dawned on me that I hadnt felt Chloe move in a while. My mom drove me to the hospital where they hooked me up to the fetal monitor and couldnt find a heartbeat. Then the ultrasound tech came in to see no movement and confirmed that my baby girl had died.
I told the Dr. about my fall, but she said she doubted thats what caused it. I was in total shock. I was due in 2 weeks! Why did this happen to me! To make a long story short, I was induced that night and delivered a 6lb 19in stillborn. She was beautiful. Looked just her brother. So sweet and innoscent...but dead. When my ex found out, he went on a heroin binge because he couldnt deal with it. I on the other hand went back to work and was put on prozac. I needed to keep my mind busy so I wouldnt go nuts. My son was 2 so he didnt understand why one day I was big prego telling him baby sissy is coming soon, then I was telling him nevermind baby sissy died.
In 2008 I reunited with my ex. He disappeared, got remarried and had 3 more kids. Another boy and 2 girls. Its funny because I can see Chloe in his daughters and I often wonder what she would look like now. He was divorced again. Now we've been back together for 4 years. He is and always was the love of my life. I just couldnt handle the drug problems. Hes been sober for 10 years.
My only wish now is to have another baby. Many people say Im nuts to want to start over again (our son is now 16) but I only wanted kids by him and we've been trying for awhile now. I just pray that its meant to be. At least this time daddy will be there and be sober
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