Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
Well this is really hard for me to talk about. I have 1 child a wonderful daughter who is 8. I'm am 24 years old and have suffered through 4 micarriges, all of which were hard but some harder than others. The first came just a few months after my daughter was born. Her biological father and I were trying to work things out but were technically not together at the time. I cried alot, even though I was 16 and already raising an infant, it was extremely difficult. The second was just as hard. The relationship that I was in at the time also wasn't working, but I believe that he wouldv'e been a wonderful father. The last two have been the hardest. There were no signs of pregnancy, none whatsoever, for several months, I even had almost normal periods, but they were never that normal , so I suspected nothing. By the time I found out that I was pregnant, I was around 3 to 4 months. Far enough to feel the flutters, you know. Then suddenly one evening my fiance and I had an argument, things got outta control, and I lost the baby. My fiance promised to change and he has made great improvements. The last time was only 8 weeks ago. I knew I was pregnant, even though once again, no signs of it. But I knew. I was about 3 months when we found out for sure. We really wanted this baby. But I was at work, and I started feeling dizzy and cramping, and I knew. I left work, went home, I wasn't gonna even bother with the e.r. this time, I felt that there was no need. But the pain was different, so i went. The drs were really concerned about an ectopic pregnancy because of my symptoms, but it turned out to be a normal miscarrige. I was devastated. And now here I am 4 weeks pregnant again. I'm still having periods. The drs are even having a hard time of it. Apparently my hormones are outta wack. Somedays i might show pregnant on a urine test other days I don't. My hormone levels jump up and down. So now I'm supposed to have complete bed rest, and hopefully things will even out on there own. The drs. aren't hopeful. They wanted me to end the pregnancy, but I can't do that. I at least have to give the baby a chance. So everyone out there pray for us. I'll be praying for you.
A devastating feeling..I've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months now. We had always talked about what would happen if I got pregnant, and how we would handle it. I didn't think it was going to happen to me..but sure enough it did. I went to the doctors for something completly different, and they said I was approximatly 6 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Being only 18, I didn't know what to do, and was an emotional wreck. Let me just add too, that I had just graduated highschool, and started a full-time job..I was just getting my life on track.
An abortion never crossed my mind because, I don't believe in them, and I am a person who believes that life begins at conception. I obviously don't have the heart to kill someone, let alone my own child. So that was that, we decided to keep the baby, and we told our parents the next day. They were ok with it, and his mom had even started planning things for the future. Where the baby was going to live, the baby shower, stuff for the baby, it was just such a great feeling to know that I had people there for me.
I was so excited at this point, I had a good job and so did he, he had his own place, and everything was going to work out perfect. I went through hell to get insurance, and to find a doctor who accepted my insurance. When I saw the ultrasound, and the heartbeat, I fell in love. I was the happiest person ever, and found it was the best feeling to know that I was going to be a mother, and I had this little baby growing inside me. I did everything right, I wanted my baby to be healthy.
I guess that wasn't enough. About a month later, I woke up and just knew what was happening. I was losing my baby. I went to the doctors and they confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. It bothered me so much because just 2 days before that, the doctors told me the baby was perfectly healthy. I instantly broke down, and was sent to the hospital.
For days I didn't believe it was true, once again I thought it couldn't happen to me. I became so emotional and depressed, I had quit my job, and isolated most people out of my life. My boyfriend of course was there for me, but didn't show emotion towards the fact that we had just lost our child. It killed me, because I was so upset, and he didn't seem to care.
The day of my D&C, I knew it was final. I was no longer going to be pregnant, and even being so young, I couldn't stand the thought of that.
Its only been a week since I found out I lost the baby..and it seems like just yesterday I was sitting on the couch holding my belly, knowing I would be a great mother, and love this baby with everything I had.
Losing a baby, no matter how young, or how far along you are in your pregnancy is a heartbreaking experience. I would never wish this on someone, not even my worst enemy.
A lot of people say "you're so young, you have time, you're not the only one who goes through this". But I don't care, that was MY baby. And nothing anyone says is going to change my mind about how I feel about this.
For all those who are lucky enough to carry out the pregnancies, and have a healthy baby, please cherish it to the fullest. No matter your age, if it was meant to happen, or if it wasn't meant to happen. Don't take your chance at being a mommy for granted, because it can be gone in a second.
I love my baby, even though he or she cannot be here with me. I'll never forget what I went through, and the excitement of pregnancy.
RIP, Our Angel Baby<3
My Little AngelI found out I was pregnant in April of 2008. At first I was scared and it was not planned...but as time went on I became more excited...the baby was moving, and at our last doctor's appointment we found out it was a boy. My boyfriend was so excited and so was I, I had a feeling that he was going to be a boy...we had picked out a name for him, Owen Raymond Michael Parnell.Then one day while I was at clinicals I became light headed and passed out, I did not fall but it really scared me. Later that day I went to my doctor's office and the baby was fine, and they said it was normal to become light headed during pregnancy. On Sunday the baby was moving a lot and me and my boyfriend enjoyed every minute of it...that was the last day I felt him move. Two days go by before I went to the doctor I thought maybe he was just sleeping or being quite....but something was extremely wrong...the nurse couldn't find his heartbeat with doppler then the Doctor came in and couldn't find it...so we went to the ultrasound room...as soon as they started I knew I had lost him...at 24 weeks pregnant I found out that my son had died....later that evening I was admitted to the hospital to have him...at 2:30AM I had my precious little boy...he was so beautiful I wanted to hold him forever. He was 1 lb. 6oz and 12 inches long. He looked just like his daddy with my dimple. I will never forget that night...We had a graveside service at my boyfriends church 3 days later. The doctors said that everything looked normal, no defects, no placental abruption, nothing. Its hard not knowing what happened to my son, and could this happen again if I decide to have children later on.I know that my son is watching over us and that he is in a better place, but I wanted him so much, to watch him grow up, play sports and be just like his father. I wanted to be there for him, I wanted to take care of him, and I wanted the chance to be a mother to my child. Without my family and my boyfriend and his family I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have the support they had given me during this.This was the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life...I just hope that with time I'll be at peace with what happened to my son.
Ectopic Pregnancy LossHi, my name is Carmen and in August 31, 2008 I lost my baby due to an ectopic pregnancy. I felt so guilty for having to end the pregnancy. I have a 15 month old baby boy and we were going to start trying for our 2nd on January 2009. But we got pregnant in August, I was okay with that. So when the Dr told me that we had to end the pregnancy I felt awful I felt like it was my job to protect my baby and instead I gave the Dr permission to go in a rip my baby out of me. Every time I think about it I canít help but cry. I often wonder what he/she would have looked likeÖ I still have a hard time talking about it, Thank you for letting my share my story.
trying to cope...I have three great kids from a horrible marriage that nearly killed me. how they came out so perfect and safe i will never know. I never thought i wanted any more children, i spent years saying "i'm done. i don't want any more..." same for marriage... until a friend and i unexpectedly wound up in a relationship and it just felt... right. for the first time ever, the words "i'm pregnant." were not met with anger, or hatred, or an argument. they were met with a laugh and a "you just figured that out? i already knew!" we got married, not because of the baby, but because of the simple perfection we feel together... his excitement over the baby fueled my own. i am ashamed to say that i was just in the process of choosing a doctor at 14 weeks (i am not fond of doctors and hospitals, and i have a difficult time in particular with ob/gyn docs due to the personal nature of the areas examined). but i had not felt well for a couple of weeks, and went to the e.r. where they did an ultrasound and confirmed my fear. the baby had stopped developing a few weeks before, and there was no heartbeat. i tried not to cry, i wanted to be strong. i cried anyway. a few days later, the miscarriage came, and i was so drained by it that i wound up spending the night in the hospital. my husband has been so wonderful and supportive. he says we'll just keep trying until we get it right. i've been home from the hospital for a week now. i WANT to do so many things, like get the mess in my house cleaned up. but i just feel depressed and exhausted, and i don't seem to manage anything more than dressing my kids for school, picking them up and monitoring homework, dinner and bed. i try to get into cleaning up, but i wind up on the couch feeling near tears. i can tell it's wearing thin on him, that i don't seem to accomplish anything, he doesn't say much about it, but i'm so afraid i'll lose him if i can't get moving. i go back and forth, i want so much to try again right away, but at the same time i'm terrified of the same thing happening again. i wish i knew how to phrase to him how i feel, i feel so stupid and i want so much for us, and i wanted this baby so much. i just don't even know which way is up right now. i guess i just wanted to write, trying to come to terms with what is, i have a nursery that now sits, not expecting anyone to fill it with light and laughter. i just feel empty, and inadequate, and somehow to blame. and selfish for being so upset over this when i have three great kiddos.
hopefully soon god will bless us again, and next time everything will go fine. for now i just pray for healing, and some momentum to get everything(anything!!) done.
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