Dealing with a miscarriage can be devastating. While many may pass off a miscarriage as a pregnancy that "just wasn't meant to be", these words rarely help to relieve your grief. Although a miscarriage can be an isolating experience, it doesn't have to be. Women who are or who have previously dealt with a miscarriage are often a great resource to those currently suffering from a pregnancy loss. Share your words with us and share your support with other women.
I got pregnant in 2003 by my ex-husband and I started bleeding very heavy and cramping so I had him take me to the hospital and they said oh you probably need some rest and so I went home and got some rest and I had to go to my doctors office the very next day and I seen my doctor and he said lets take a sonogram to see what is going on and he said he was not seeing a baby and I asked him what that meant he said it was an Etopic Pregnancy he wanted me to go over to the hospital and everything was happening so fast that I was so scared because all I could think about was my unborn baby and when he said to me we need to operate I just broke down crying because I wanted that baby more than anything and he explained to me what was going on and they prepared me for surgery and the feelings I had at that point I was very angry with my ex- husband and everyone else in the world I quite my job and did not speak to anyone but my husband and I barely spoke to him and now I am remarried and we are trying to have a baby and seems like we cannot but my doctor said it would be better to have an IVF treatment and we are still trying it naturally but that is not working I think we are going to try something different.
My little LaylaHello, is there any body out there that can relate to my story i feel so empty and ashamed, when people ask me what, happend I lost my baby at 5months and I hurts so bad, I have good days and I have bad some days I think I just might go crazy, It would have been my husbands 1st child and I feel like I let him down, he's the only child out of 9 siblings with out a child, his sister is giving a party for her son today and I told him I did't want to go I really don't want be around them right now with all of there children running around I no I am wrong but I just feel like I don't belong I hope that I can get past this feeling, also I dont think that my husband wants to try again, due to one docter said that I had a short cervix and the other said I did'nt I really feel lost and alone.
premature rupture of membranesI suffered a miscarriage @ 10 wks, 5 yrs later i felt ready to try again with my husband, at 18 wks october 2007 i woke up went to the toilet and there was a huge gush and lots and lots of water, i went to the hospital and had a scan, the scan showed a perfectly healthy baby but there was nothing they could do as there was no water left my membranes had ruptured the baby would not survive, they had to carry out a delivery. no explanation as to why this happened but was told i would have extra scans and swabs next pregnancy, 6 months later april 2008 i am pregnant again, no midwifes would listen to my concerns and what happened to me before, 16 wks (june 2008) into my preg my membranes ruptured again, the scan again showed a perfectly healthy baby but no water so will not survive. this is 2 babys i have lost in less than a year, i am so angry that this has happened again when i was reasurred it wouldn't!!! i am not ready to try again yet, i have now been told by my consultant that i have weak membranes and would need extra support, he has put together a plan for my next pregnancy i will have a shirodkar stitch done at 12 wks, i am so scared that this will still happen, i have no faith in or trust in my hospital! has anyone had this procedure done or know anyone who has had it? how successful was it and were there any complications?
Roller coaster RideMy story began almost seven years ago when my husband and I decided to stop using BCP's and let mother nature run its course. We didnt actively TTC but just expected to get pregnant sooner or later. Three or four years go by and then we decided to actively help mother nature since it wasn't going to happen as easily as we had hoped for. At this point, we still weren't really concerned since we hadn't been tracking ovulation or sex. After 1 year of TTC actively we enlisted the help of my OB/GYN who intervened with Clomid for 6 months...nothing. Next she performed an HSG xray of my fallopian tubes, clear as a bell! Next, we did a laparoscopy, again perfection, except for minute traces of endometreosis on my bowels only, tubes and ovaries clear! From here, we went to an amazing reproductive endocrinologist in Atlanta, GA. Tried clomid again at a higher dosage with the plan of doing IUI. For some reason, we couldn't properly track my ovulation, the home tests were showing I hadn't ovulated, gave me an injection of HSG to stimulate ovulation, returned to their clinic in 48 hours for IUI, Ultrasound showed we were getting ready to ovulate, while waiting for bloodwork to confirm it my doc decided to go ahead and do the IUI cause the US looked so good. We had the IUI, waited in his office, then headed home. On the way home, we received the devastating news that we had indeed missed my ovulation by almost a week! Bloodwork confirmed what the US did not show! We were devastated and out $1000.00. We decided to try it again the next month. During the routine monitoring of my blood levels, the nurse called to say that even though the US looked again like we were getting ready to ovulate and my home ovulation monitor was showing the same, my bloodwork showed that my progesterone levels were up and therfore, they knew we had already ovulated. After letting this info sink in, I remembered what a local RE had said he thought our whole problem was in not being able to conceive thus far, he felt pretty certain that I was just spiking progesterone too soon in my cycle and throwing everything off course. I called my new RE in Atlanta back immediately and spoke with his nurse to see if this was indeed possible. She said YES and then they called me back in for yet another office consult to decide where to go from there because they felt like I needed a stronger intervention. So...we then decided to try IVF, got accepted into a research study that would cut the cost significantly ($5,0000 per cycle). After 21 days on injectable drugs to suppress ovulation, they again gave me the HSG injection after 11 good sized eggs were noted on US. Went in the next day for egg retrieval, out of the 11 eggs, 10 were good quality and good size however, my system appeared to have been overstimulated (previous history of ovarian hyperstimulation from clomid alone) so my husband and I decided to let them freeze the eggs for a few weeks and then return for the IVF. Once home, the emotions of all of this got to me. I felt like for 4 months, I had been yanked up and down and spun round and round and just needed time off from it all. We decided to try again for a few months on our own just to allow us to heal emotionally from the science of it all. On our third and final month of TTC natually, I found out we were expecting (this was late August). My RE in Atlanta is a big advocate for closely monitoring blood levels of HCG and progesterone but my local OB/GYN is not. I decided to go along with my RE and have the blood work done. For one week, the levels went up with my HSG appropriately, however, the progesterone dropped from 34 to 18, at which point they called us in for an US. US showed 2 ges sacs, only 1 with a yolk sac, no fetal pole and no HB. They were not concerned, as it was still early in the pregnancy (5-6 weeks by my calculations). They scheduled more monitoring of blood levels and a return US in one week. Over that 6th week, my HSG levels dropped from 2600 to 1160 but after starting a progesterone supplement my levels of progesterone returned to 38. They called me to tell me that one of two things were happening, either we had conceived 2 and one was no longer viable and we were losing it or we had conceived 1 and we were losing it. The 3 days of waiting for the next US were extremely difficult. The US showed no change in size of the ges sac with the yolk sac and the second ges sac was completely gone. They informed us that we were indeed miscarrying and that all we could do was go home and wait it out (this was on a Friday). My husband and I just held each other and cried. I continued to cry for 2 days and then decided to put it in the Lord's hands. That Sunday evening I began light spotting with urination and mild cramping. I called my local OB/GYN that Monday morning to fill her in on everything the RE had said (since she didn't want to see me until 8 weeks) and that I had started miscarrying. She wanted me to come in to her office that morning to do an US. Upon her ultrasound, she said it did not appear to her that we were definately miscarying, it just appeared that we were very early on in the pregnancy and that spotting was ok, often times normal this early in pregnancy. She sent me home with high hopes. I went the next morning for more bloodwork per the request of the RE because he wanted to make sure my HCG levels continue to drop. To my disbelief, the levels had gone UP! They were close to 1200 (still low but relatively normal if I were closer to the end of 6 weeks instead of mid 7th week like I had calculated). I became so happy! Maybe my local OB was right and the RE was just trying to prepare me for the worst case scenario! I called my boss, requested the week off to relax and stay off my feet until I could return for the next US to confirm what my OB thought). This was on a Tuesday. Mid afternoon Wednesday, upon urinating, I stood up only to see something in the toilet that appeared to look like the very early beginnings of the embryo. Immediately my cramps went away but the tears returned. I again called my OB and she insisted I come back in the morning that it sounded as though we had in fact miscarried. The next US on Thursday confirmed that it was gone but the ges sac and yolk sac were still in me just above my cervix waiting to come out. They sent me home with pain meds and told me to just wait it out. That's where we are at now...waiting for all of this to be over so we can begin trying again. After 7 years, we have waited long enough. The really difficult thing is is that two other women at my office conceived through IUI during this year which was so heartbreaking in itself for me! But to make it worse, the day that I announced we were finally pregnant another girl in my office told me that she too was expecting, and after talking to her we discovered that the first day of our LMP was only 1 day apart...now I will have to watch her grow, hear her stories of pregnancy and then watch her bring yet her third child into this world while I am still waiting and praying for a first!!!! I don't know how I can stay strong enough to endure all of this!
Loss at 34 weeks- placenta abruptionSeptember 9, 2007 - I was having a good day. I had my hair done - the last time before the baby was born. I was leaving the hairdresser, and unfortunatley caught a falt. Strange I thought. I waited for repair and all was well. I went on to my next destination - a shopping center. We were expecting a new king bed - so had to find a nice comforter set and of course I picked up things here and there - allwas still well. Upon check- out I felt an uncomfortable feeling then a sharp pain down my leg. I called my mom and aunts to come pick me up as I knew that I could not drive and told my husband as well. I had a sudden urge to use the bathroom and I left my newly purchased items with my aunts friend - strange that she was there. I went to the bathroom then pains began to come - blood in the toilet - was this the bloody show?, but pain was still coming - called the doctor, called the ambulance, my mom had arrived , everything was happening too fast. I was rushed to the hospital and then found out no heartbeat and I went into immediate depression and shock - no tears. Now rushed to have a cesarean - too much happening at once. My husband told me that my own health was in jeopardy - how much worse this would have been for him. All I said was He took the baby - over and over and I could not get her back. Why did he take her. What had I done. I was always on top of my health. This happened on a Tuesdat Sept. 9 and I was just at the doctor on Friday. They did n't see anything. What signs had I missed. I have had a preemie and I thought that was my worst experience, but this passes this by far.I still cannot beleive it - she is no longer here. I still ask God why and I n=know that he has blessed me in so many ways, but he took his child back from me. All the throwing up and the spitting and being uncomfortable. I would have done it twice over to have her here. I still ask myself Why? I just do not know what to do with myself. I am supposed to be taking care of a baby and she is gone. I knwo she is up in heaven with no pain only happiness, but I had just wanted to be apart of that experince. I Love her although I cannot take care of her each and everyday. I just to have her back and I know I never will, only in my heart. How has anyone dealt with this loss. what wew the next steps taken when you had another?
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