Single Moms

It's not easy being a single mom. As a single parent, you have to take on double the parenting duty. Other issues can make this even more complex. For example, some young moms write about what to do if my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Please share your experience and wisdom. As you will see, these problems require a great support system, time management skills and top-notch parenting techniques. If you have tips to share with other single moms or just want to help other single mothers and single parents out there, then tell us your story.

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my first baby

Well, my name is ariel, and i'm 14 years old. I'm already a single mom and I just had a baby less that 2 weeks ago. My baby daddy is 19 years old. I am in Texas right now, while he's in New Orleans. When I got pregant, I told him face to face that I was. When I told him he was so amazed but during my 6th month of pregnancy, me and my baby were in bad condition. All the stressing from him. Now we're not together and he has a girlfriend.


Life is Tough

At the age of fourteen i had lost my virginity to a guy i hardly knew. My friend, Garrett, was worried that i was pregnant. He made me go get a pregnancy test done. When the test came back negative we were both relieved.

Not too long after, Garrett and i started dating. Three days later the two of us and our two closest friends, who were also dating, ditched school. We went to his house and got comfy. i was scared that having sex was going to ruin our friendship. i did it anyway because i loved him. it just so happens that it ruined a lot more than our friendship.

Two weeks after we had sex i found out that i was pregnant. i was so scared that i couldn't tell anyone. When i finally did it was Garrett. He acted scared, but cool about it. I was kinda depressed. Garrett made me feel better by running through the gym screaming " i'm gonna be a daddy!" I got used to the idea that i was going to have a baby, until Garrett dumped me. He said that it was because he was moving. I was so depressed. For the first time in my life i was thinking of abortion. i didn't want something that came from him. i told my friends that i would pay them to help me kill the baby. None of them would do it.

It was a few months before i decided that i wanted the baby again. i started dating another one of my friends, Troy. He gave me the emotional support that i needed. He let me know that he would be there for me no matter what. When i went into labor Troy was with me. He called his mother and told her that she needed to take me to the hospital. I was in labor for almost six hours when i had my baby boy, A'Dyn Garrett Johnson.

A few weeks after A'Dyn was born Garrett saw Troy holding him in the store. Garrett started crying and ran up to me. He said that he loved me and wanted me back. i told him that i didn't want him in my life at all. i never wanted to see him again.

Of course i couldn't keep him away from our son. He is able to see him any time he likes, but he is not to take him anywhere. i am now 16 and i am still with Troy. He has helped me and my baby more than he could even imagine.


My New Beginning

I think maybe writing this will make me feel better, however at the moment I am not quite sure of anything.

I am 10 weeks pregnant I discovered I was pregnant 5 weeks ago when I was still with my partner. Things were not great with my partner at the time I found out I was pregnant but I thought maybe things would improve when he found out I was pregnant.

Things only got worse. I have not had an easy time in these 5 weeks. I have been constantly sick and tired which only made matters worse with my partner. Previously he had been verbally abusive towards me which I thought was my fault (I now realise that it's not).

In weeks gone by, he became physically abusive. I don't know why this happened but it happened twice. The second time, when he threw me against the wall, I decided it was time to leave. I couldn't put myself and the baby at risk anymore. I fled to my parents house and they are extremely supportive.

I have had to take out an intervention order on my ex parnter because he was continously threatening and harrassing me. It is very daunting now knowing that I will be a single mother at age 22 however I know that I can do it with the support of my family and friends.

I am very excited about the future and my beautiful baby. I feel blessed that I have the oppurtunity to have a baby when so many people can't and I do believe everything happens for a reason.


The Toughest Decision

Throughout life, we all face many tough decisions. I am only 21 years old and I am sure that I will face many hard decisions in the years to come. However, I feel that I have already had to make the toughest decision ever. When I was 14 years old I became pregnant. Unmarried, jobless, and alone, I had to choose whether or not to keep my child or to give her up for adoption. Such a decision would be hard for any woman to make, let alone an immature 15 year old. After all, this one decision would end up shaping my life and the life of my child, forever.

I met Hank when I was 14 and in Grade 9. I had just entered high school and was eager to fit in with the crowd. I felt that being cool meant smoking cigarettes, dressing in the right clothes, and dating the right guy. Hank was a varsity football player and captain of the track team. He was also president of our student council and an all-around “great” guy. To top it all off, he was drop-dead gorgeous and had a way with the ladies. That’s why I couldn’t believe it when he asked me out. Of course, I accepted and we were soon going steady.

I really liked Hank but I don’t think that I ever loved him. He introduced me to all of the popular people at school, some who were nice to hang around (and some who were not!). He took me out on dates and was a fun guy to hang around. He also listened to me when I felt sad or depressed. But I never really felt that special bond with him. I don’t know why I chose to sleep with him, but I did. Five months into our relationship, I became pregnant.

I told Hank as soon as I found out and he was pretty upset. He kept saying that he couldn’t have a child because he had to go to college next year. If he had a child, he would lose his football scholarship, and have to stay home and work full-time to squeeze out a living. Either I felt sorry for him, or angry with him (probably a combination of the two) because I decided to cut him out of the picture. I knew in my heart that I could make a better decision about the future without him. School ended two weeks later and I never saw Hank again. I sometimes wonder what he is doing now.

I was scared to tell my parents but somehow managed to pull together the courage a few weeks later. To my great surprise, they were very supportive and offered to help me in any way that they could. They told me about the idea of adoption and how it would allow me to continue on with my life. I had been thinking about adoption already, and, because I don’t believe in abortion, it was either that or keep the baby myself.

I kept pretty calm over the first few months of my pregnancy. Part of me was just numb, I guess, with all the changes that were going on. I began to check out adoption agencies to see what it was all about. I knew that my baby would have a good home with another couple, and there were so many couples wanting children out there. But every time I thought of adoption a sinking feeling would hit my stomach.

Every time I went out, whether I was walking to school or going to work, I would see families together. I never took much notice of this before I was pregnant, but once I new that I was expecting, families seemed to crop up everywhere. I would watch happy moms and dads with their children, and I just knew in my heart that I couldn’t give up my baby.
I sat my parents down and told them how I felt. They were surprised but supportive. They said that they would help me raise the baby. From that point on, I felt that a great weight was lifted from my shoulders. I found myself beginning to enjoy my pregnancy, and though it was difficult, I continued going to school and working for as long as I could.

My baby arrived two weeks early – a bouncing baby girl! I named her Jolene. She had her father’s eyes but my nose and mouth. As I held her, I realized I had a tiny, baby girl to take care of now. Her health, happiness, and future lay in my hands. I was extremely happy, but also very scared; for a split second I couldn’t help but wonder if I had made the right choice.

Times were tough over the next few years. I had lots of arguments with my parents over how Jolene should be raised. My parents wanted me to keep going to school, but I worried that my parents would completely take over my responsibilities. I dropped out of school for a while, and then returned. When Jolene turned five, I received my high school diploma. My parents brought Jolene to the ceremony, and she cheered as I received my diploma. I knew then that I wouldn’t change anything that had happened in the past.

Jolene is now six and attending first grade. I am going to community college and working as a waitress to pay the bills. I hope to be a veterinary nurse someday soon. Though times are tough, I can look back and realize that I did make the right decision. I simply can’t imagine my life without Jolene. And though life as a single mother is difficult, I have the best reward waiting for me at the end of the day – a hug from my beautiful daughter!

Jane Tilson

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